


Escape

by Quillbreaker



Series: No Escape [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 90
Words: 111,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillbreaker/pseuds/Quillbreaker
Summary: Sequel to No Escape. A year ago Harry had been desperately trying to escape from Voldemort. He had never known that in the end, it was Voldemort who was going to escape from him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vladimir_Mithrander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vladimir_Mithrander/gifts), [Mariessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariessa/gifts), [Rappy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rappy/gifts), [Fangirlfourlife17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlfourlife17/gifts), [notquitesane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquitesane/gifts), [JaydeEclipse (EtuChayton)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtuChayton/gifts), [Aduncan100](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aduncan100/gifts), [his_poor_wife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/his_poor_wife/gifts), [TK_421](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_421/gifts), [deeparah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeparah/gifts), [Azera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azera/gifts), [HPfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPfan/gifts), [aDejectedTipewriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aDejectedTipewriter/gifts), [Yumi007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi007/gifts), [chochowilliams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chochowilliams/gifts), [iMaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iMaze/gifts), [Lunathemooneye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunathemooneye/gifts), [AngelOfTheSeas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfTheSeas/gifts), [Mariiechan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariiechan/gifts).



Harry sat on the bed, the covers pulled up to his chest. He held the parchment close to his lips as he stared blankly into empty space. That was the state in which the twins had found him. They were saying something but Harry was unable to hear anything over the sound of his screaming heart. He wondered why he wasn't screaming. He wasn't even crying. How could Voldemort do this to him? Maybe he hadn't reassured him enough last night? Maybe he should have told him in more clearer words that he had wanted him. He felt one of the twins take the parchment from his hand but he was too far gone to care. His hands moved up to his hair as he clutched them. What had he done wrong? What mistake had he made? He needed to know. He wanted Voldemort to tell him so that he could correct it and have him back.

Harry felt the twins hugging him close but no amount of physical comfort could numb the agonizing pain he felt in his heart and his soul. Nothing could ever make this right. Nothing except for Voldemort. He needed him just like he needed oxygen to survive. He would die without him, he was certain of it. That was when he felt the twins' tears on his bare skin. They were crying. And that brought Harry out of his self-pity. This pain was going to be a part of him until he found Voldemort and he would endure it on his own. He wasn't going to let anyone suffer with him because it wasn't theirs to suffer. It was his and he was going to bear it alone. He wrapped his arms around them,

"Stop crying, guys. Do you see me crying?"

The looked up at him and the suffering in their brown eyes strengthened Harry's resolve. He swore that he would never let them suffer again. He smiled faintly and wiped away their tears,

"Ssshhh, it's alright. Everything's alright."

Harry hugged them tighter and felt their arms around him tighten as well. They were lost for words but they conveyed their emotions through their embrace and Harry wished he had been able to convey his to Voldemort last night. He had failed. Last night he had been planning a lifetime with Voldemort inside his head and now, now he was just thinking about how he was going to live without him. Fate was cruel and it seemed even crueller towards him. Happiness was never meant for him. He was never destined for it.

He wanted to be alone for a while before he would have to reappear in front of everyone and take control of everything that Voldemort had left him. Hogwarts and The Ministry. He had never thought he would have to manage them since he had thought that Voldemort would recover and take the reins. He had no idea how he was going to do it. Harry was starting to feel overwhelmed, the emotions combined with the heartache and the expectation to perform was beginning to get to him and he spoke,

"I need to shower and get dressed. I'll see you guys in a bit."

The twins withdrew and looked at him with concern. Harry smiled to the best of his abilities again,

"I'm not going to drown myself. Don't worry."

The deadpan look in the twins' eyes made Harry pat their shoulders,

"I'm fine. I'll be fine."

The walked out of the room wordlessly but Harry knew that they were standing right outside the door so that they could stop him in case he tried to do anything reckless. They shouldn't have worried because Harry was over being suicidal. He remembered how desperately he had tried to escape from Voldemort and now in the end it had been Voldemort who had escaped from him. Harry rose up to his feet steadily and walked to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stepped under it. Harry couldn't stop his fingers from tracing over every spot that Voldemort had kissed last night. Everywhere he had touched him felt sacred and Harry wondered why Voldemort hadn't felt that. His hand moved to the bite mark on his shoulder and he squeezed it just to feel the pain again. Harry leaned against the tiled wall and kissed the bruises on his wrists. He never wanted them to heal. These marks were the last thing that Voldemort had left on him. He never wanted them to fade.

Harry stared up at the tiled ceiling. He wished he would just cry but it seemed his heart wanted to hold onto those tears as well. He wanted to hold onto every last memory of Voldemort. No, he wasn't going to live by memories. He was going to find him. He had to find him and bring him back. But it seemed that, that would never happen. He would never know until he gave it a try. So, he made up his mind and finished his shower.

He dressed himself in all black, it seemed fitting because that's how he felt inside. He was desperately searching for a golden thread of hope to grab onto but there was none so far and until he found it, his world was going to be nothing but black with hopelessness, pain, misery, regret and despair.

As Harry combed his shoulder length hair, he remembered when he had wanted to get them cut. Now, he knew that he would never cut them. Voldemort had liked them long. He had combed them, touched them, stroked them and pulled on them so many times and cutting them would mean, losing those memories. Those memories were all he had now. He wasn't going to lose them too.

When he stepped out of the room. He found the twins leaning back against the wall in front of him. Harry watched them relax visibly at the sight of him and he smiled his well rehearsed smile. The smile Voldemort had taught him when he had taken him to that meeting, where he had made allies. It seemed to work like a charm because Harry saw a faint smile tug at the twins' lips,

"So, what's on my agenda today?"

The twins exchanged a meaningful glance,

"Breakfast."

Harry shook his head,

"Skip that. What's next?"

The twins' frowned,

"You can't skip breakfast."

Harry stepped closer to them,

"Who said anything about skipping breakfast. I'll have that later. Right now, I'm excited to see Bella's latest conquest."

Harry knew he was lying through his teeth. He had no intentions of eating and he certainly wasn't excited about going to the ministry. But he had to do this. He had to put up this façade of wellness because wallowing in his misery would make everyone around him miserable and he had absolutely no intentions of doing that. This was his only purpose of life right now. He was going to make sure that his friends and his new family had every joy he could give them and to protect them from sorrow and grief.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry stood in the atrium with Fred and George on either side of him. He was staring up at the Fountain of Magical Brethren and wondering what he was going to do now. And for the umpteenth time Harry asked him himself the question, how could Voldemort leave him like this? Harry felt one of the twins nudge his shoulder gently and he walked ahead. The clicking of the heels in the otherwise silent atrium informed Harry of Bellatrix's arrival. He looked up and found her hurrying towards him. It was apparent from her condition that the news had reached her. She was dressed in plain black robes and her hair were tied back. She looked simple and as grief stricken as Harry felt inside. She knelt in front of him, took his hand and kissed it. Harry raised her up to her feet and embraced her.

He wanted to cry just as openly as Bella was crying but his heart refused to give up on the tears. Harry rubbed her back gently. He had never imagined that he would ever comfort Bella like he was doing right now but here he was,

"Bella, we have to hold ourselves together. We can't fall apart now when there is so much to be done."

Bella drew back, cupped his face and kissed his cheek,

"I know. I've been trying since the twins informed me."

Harry turned to look at the twins and they raised their hands defensively,

"We had to inform everyone."

It was a good thing that they had because Harry was certain that he wouldn't have been able to. But there were going to be questions and Harry wasn't sure if he was ready to face them. Harry realized that he had drifted away when he was pulled back by a hand squeezing his shoulder,

"Sirius and Luna are on their way here."

Harry moved his hand over his face and looked at Bella with concern,

"Are you alright?"

She hitched up a watery smile and Harry knew that she would be fine,

"You'll have to conduct a press conference and formally announce yourself as minister…"

Harry raised his hand and halted her,

"What? No…. I'm not…. I don't want to be minister. I don't think I can handle it."

Bellatrix's smile widened,

"Everyone is eager to work under you."

Harry closed his eyes,

"But…..."

He closed his eyes. He hadn't expected this. He had thought about leading from the side-lines but this wasn't right. He wasn't capable or experienced. Harry felt a hand on each of his shoulder,

"No buts. You have to agree to this, Harry. Please."

Harry was feeling overwhelmed again and he struggled to keep his breathing under control. This was difficult enough for him already and he was certain that he was going to shatter if he bore any more of the burden. He was just lost in these thoughts when he found himself held in a tight embrace,

"Harry…."

It was Sirius's voice. Sirius's arms. Harry embraced him back,

"I'm fine. I'm alright. Sirius, Relax."

Sirius refused to let go of him. Harry knew that if anyone could sense his pain, it was Sirius. And he knew that he could detect his lies too,

"Please, Sirius. I need your support."

Sirius pulled back and Harry saw the tears shimmering in his eyes. How he yearned to cry. Maybe crying would lessen the weight that was on his chest. But his heart wanted to hold onto the pain. Sirius gently patted him on cheek,

"I'm always here for you."

Bellatrix cleared her throat,

"Cousin dear, don't you think that he is the perfect candidate for Minister of Magic?"

Harry looked at Sirius and met his gaze. Then he shifted his gaze to Bella and the twins. There was no mistaking the hope that he saw in their eyes. The joy this little decision would bring them. He finally spoke,

"I want to know everyone's opinion before making this decision. How soon can all the death eaters be here?"

Bellatrix smiled warmly,

"They're already here."

Harry nodded his head,

"Okay, gather them then. We need to discuss a lot of matters"

Bellatrix nodded and walked away. Harry found Luna standing at a distance and staring at him. The pain was evident on her face. Harry knew that she had foreseen it. She had said that he would get hurt and he had. She approached him and hugged him tight,

"I wish I could have warned you."

Harry shook his head,

"I couldn't have done anything even if you had."

She rubbed soothing circles on his back,

"Harry, I can see the pain in your eyes. And everyone else can see it too. This loss has and will continue to impact every part of your being. Not only will you not be able to think straight, but all your activities will run on automation. To call it "walking in a daze," doesn't approach the dark clouds that are amassing inside your skull."

Harry gulped. How had Luna been able to sum up all his suffering in words like that? This was exactly what his future was going to be. Exactly what his life was going to be from now on,

"We're here for you, Harry. You're not alone. You have to fight it, just like you've fought till now. I know that you're going to survive. Joy is out of sight but it's not out of reach. You just have to step ahead and grab it."

Harry kept his eyes closed. Luna was right. Luna was always right. He wasn't alone and he knew that he was going to survive. Nothing had changed. He had lived for others before. He would live for them again. The clamour of several footsteps informed him that the death eaters were assembling. Harry pulled away from Luna and tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear,

"I'm going to be fine. Don't worry."

Once the death eaters had assembled and there was pin drop silence, Harry stepped ahead and spoke,

"You're all aware of…what happened this morning. In his absence, as his spouse, the responsibility of managing Hogwarts and The ministry has fallen on my shoulders. I don't know the first thing about management or how government affairs are run…."

He couldn't finish speaking because the Atrium reverberated with the chants,

"Harry Potter, Minister of Magic!"

Harry closed his eyes and bowed his head in submission to their demand. He wanted them to be happy and if this would bring them joy then he would gladly shoulder this burden. He raised his hand and spoke,

"I accept your decision but all of you will have to help me. I might not be able to fulfil all your expectations but I will try my best."

The Atrium burst with the sound of cheers and celebration while Harry's heart was bursting with grief. Voldemort should have been here. This was his place, his position, his post. How could he just throw everything away and leave like he had done? Harry searched desperately for a glimmer of hope but saw none. Everything inside him was still black with despair. But at least everyone else was happy. He looked around at Bellatrix, Sirius and the twins who were practically radiating joy and he smiled for them. Luna had said that joy was out of sight but not out of reach. He just had to grab it. But that was where Luna had been wrong. Joy would elude him forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was seated in a large office, behind a huge mahogany desk. The walls were lined with bookshelves. A large leather couch, two armchairs for guests, a filing cabinet and a huge fireplace made up the rest of the office. Harry stared down blankly at the Evening Prophet spread in front of him. A picture of him smiled up at him and the headline above it read,

"Harry Potter, The youngest Minister for Magic in history."

Harry got sick of that headline and flipped the newspaper over. His head was spinning from the day's events. The ministry was mostly under control apart from a few hitches. The major one was the Aurors and order members that were locked up at Hogwarts. He would have to win their confidence over because he was certain that the Ministry wouldn't be able to function properly without them. Harry had appointed Bellatrix as the Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Sirius as the Head Auror. He had chosen Fred and George as his Senior Undersecretaries. Most of the pervious Head of Departments and Ministry employees had placed their loyalties with him and he had allowed them to keep their jobs. The one's who had refused to work with him had been replaced. There had been only three deaths during the Ministry Takeover. One of them had been Umbridge and Harry felt no remorse at that.

Then there was still the matter of Hogwarts. Who was going to be the new Headmaster or Headmistress? His first preference was going to be Professor McGonagall but if they refused to cooperate than he would probably go for Remus. Harry pulled off his glasses and leaned back in his seat. He had never wanted this. This was all supposed to belong to Voldemort. Harry wondered where he was right now. All thoughts vanished when he heard a knock on the door,

"Come in."

Harry put on his glasses and Sirius came into view. Harry smiled,

"Hey."

Sirius took a seat opposite him and eyed him with concern,

"How are you?"

Harry rested his head against the back of his seat and stared up at the feeling,

"I'm fine."

Sirius extended his hand and took Harry's in his,

"The truth, Harry."

Harry closed his eyes. He knew Sirius would be able see right into his soul,

"I haven't decided how I feel yet. I haven't cried. I think I should but I can't bring myself to."

After a pause, Harry opened his eyes and met Sirius's gaze,

"Why do you think he left me?"

The moisture in Sirius's eyes didn't go unnoticed by Harry,

"I don't know why. But I guess it was difficult for him to come to terms with all the emotions you awakened inside him."

Harry closed his eyes again,

"Do you think he'll come back?"

Sirius rubbed the burn mark on Harry's finger softly,

"He won't be able to stay away. Harry, I believe that he loves you and when he understands that he'll come back to you."

Harry exhaled,

"I don't think he loves me. If he did, he wouldn't have abandoned me. He promised me he wouldn't leave me and yet he broke that promise. I don't think he even remembered that he had promised me that."

Sirius released his hand and stepped around the desk. He hugged Harry close. Harry buried his face in Sirius's chest and tried to calm down the hurricane of emotions inside his chest,

"I'm here for you. We're all here for you. You just have to take care of yourself."

Harry nodded his head,

"I'll try, Sirius."

Sirius pulled back and cupped his face,

"No, Harry. Trying isn't good enough. Your well-being is all that matters."

Harry hugged Sirius again and held onto Sirius's robes,

"I don't think I've ever felt this weak."

Sirius kissed the top of his head,

"You've survived worse and this time you're not alone."

Harry just focused on the warmth Sirius was exuding, affectionate and fatherly,

"When was the last time you had something to eat?"

Harry tried to remember. The last meal he'd had was breakfast with Voldemort and the twins on the morning he had left for Gringotts. Sirius gently weaved his fingers through his hair,

"Get up, Harry. We're scheduled for dinner at Hogwarts."

Harry shook his head weakly. The thought of facing everyone there made him nauseous. He knew he wouldn't be able to put up a strong front even if he wanted to,

"I don't want to go."

Sirius gently kissed his head again,

"Harry, I'm not going to force you."

Harry released his hold on Sirius's robes. His heart felt a bit lighter but the sense of responsibility gripped him again. He would have to go to Hogwarts and face everything that he was trying to avoid,

"We can deal with all the Hogwarts matters tomorrow. It's just a feast, tonight."

Harry nodded his head and rose to his feet. His stomach grumbled noisily and Sirius chuckled,

"You're definitely hungry. Let's not keep your stomach waiting any longer."

Harry straightened his posture and allowed Sirius to steer him out of the office and away from the Ministry.

An hour later, Harry was seated at what had once been the teachers table. The Great Hall looked its usual splendid self, decorated with green, silver and gold banners that had the dark mark embellished on them. Golden plates and goblets gleamed by the light of hundreds and hundreds of candles, floating over the tables in mid-air. The four long house tables had been combined to form a single, longer table which was packed with chattering death eaters. Sirius, Bella and Luna sat on his left side while the twins sat to his right. The atmosphere in the hall was light and cheerful and Harry wondered why nobody else was missing Voldemort and that's when he felt Hogwarts' sorrow.

Harry was brought out of his musings when Sirius gently nudged his shoulder,

"Harry, you have to say a few words."

Harry rose to his feet and looked at the joyous faces of all the death eaters. His new family. He cleared his throat, smiled and spoke to them,

"I think words can wait. We've all had a very busy day and I don't know about you but to be honest, I'm starving so let's just tuck in."

The empty dishes filled magically and for the first time Harry knew that the meal had not been prepared by house elves because he had given the order to free all of them this morning. Sirius smiled warmly at him and Harry smiled back. He retook his seat and loaded his plate.


	4. Chapter 4

Voldemort sat cross-legged besides Destrian's tiny grave. Lightening flashed and the clouds rumbled. It would rain soon. The Evening Prophet was spread open in his lap and Harry's smiling visage peered up at him. He had made the right decision and Harry was well on his way to healing. His heart ached at the prospect of not being near to Harry. He would never be able to touch him again. He would never be able to hold him again. But this was all because of his own doing and he deserved this. He shuddered as everything he had done to Harry flashed in front of his eyes and he shut them to block them out. No, he did not deserve Harry's love or his care. Not after all the monstrous things he had done to him. Harry deserved all the happiness in the world and he would never have been able to get it with him in his life. Walking away had been the first best decision that he had made.

He leaned forward and kissed the gravestone gently. Destrian had been the beginning of his transformation and now when he had transformed completely, Destrian was all that he had left. He moved his fingers over the tombstone and smiled softly,

"Destrian, I wish you were here with me."

The wind howled and Voldemort conjured a garland of the most vividly coloured flowers and placed it on the grey tombstone,

"But you are. You are here with me."

He kissed the tombstone again and rose to his feet. He kissed Harry's picture and closed his eyes,

"I shall see you soon, Destrian."

And with that he disapparated.

Harry paced his bedroom restlessly. He couldn't understand what but his heart was definitely trying to tell him something. It had been trying to tell him something for the past one hour. His gaze scanned the bedroom, hoping to see something, anything that had once belonged to Voldemort but there was nothing. Voldemort had taken away all his possessions with him. Why had he left him behind then? Hadn't he claimed so many times that he had been nothing but a mere possession to him? Harry hands balled into fists. He was angry. Angry at Voldemort for leaving him. Angry at the fact that Voldemort had too cowardly to face what he had been feeling. Harry pushed his hands into the pockets of his robes and felt the wand that he had recently acquired. Harry wanted to be away from this place. He wanted to be somewhere he could be alone for a while. Somewhere he could categorize his feelings without anyone's influence. But he didn't want to be truly alone. He wanted to be somewhere he could remember the new Voldemort. The changed Voldemort and he had the perfect place in his mind.

Harry stumbled and nearly fell to the ground in the eerily silent graveyard. He had never apparated on his own before and he hadn't expected it to work. But the fact that it had made Harry feel a little accomplished. Harry could smell the rain in the air and he looked up at the sky. A storm was brewing. Harry made his way around the headstones and walked towards Destrian's grave. The vivid colours of the flowers caught his eye from a distance in the otherwise dark and grey cemetery and he all but ran forward. His heart was thudding loudly in his chest when he reached. Harry brushed his fingers against the garland. His throat constricted and his blood ran cold. Voldemort had been here. He had been here. Harry cursed mentally. He should have been here. This was what his heart had been telling him.

Harry's heart screamed in agony but the tears still refused to flow. It began sprinkling. Little droplets of water drenched his hair, skin, and robes. The water droplets began growing larger and falling frequently. The light pitter patter of rain turned into wet thuds as the icy water raced to meet the ground. The sprinkling turned into a torrential downpour.

Harry sank to his knees at the tiny grave, not caring for the damp mud that dirtied his robes. The pain that flowed from him was as palpable as the frigid wind. Harry looked up to the watery skies and heaven beyond. His hands clenched the mud and he allowed the rain to soak him completely and wash away his pain. But it wouldn't. Harry looked down at the tiny grave and slumped against the headstone,

"Destrian, he cares about you. He doesn't care about me."

Harry kissed the gravestone and rested his cheek against the cold stone. Harry whispered out the question,

"Where are you? Where have you gone?"

Harry desperately hoped for an answer. The wind continued to howl and the rain continued to fall. But there was no answer. Harry moved his hand over the grave,

"Destrian, I wish you were here with me."

The words felt foreign but familiar when they left his lips. Harry was soaked to the skin but he couldn't register the cold because of the pain that he felt inside him. He pleaded and implored,

"I want you back!...Please come back!"

Of course, no one heard him. Voldemort was somewhere unknown and Destrian was in the heavens above. The two people he desperately needed were the two people who he had no hope of ever getting back. Harry closed his eyes. He didn't want to feel anything but that was impossible. He would die if he didn't have these feelings. These feelings were the only thing keeping him alive. They were the only thing keeping him sane.

Harry kissed the headstone again and rose to his feet. His soaked robes weighed him down and he decided that it was time to go even though his heart was yearning to stay. Catching a fever would not do him any good. He had to visit Hogwarts tomorrow and he needed all his strength for that. Harry was glad he still had some sense left in him. He drew in a deep breath and disapparated.

Harry opened his eyes and found himself back in the bedroom. He shrugged out of his robes and allowed them to drop on the carpet. They vanished before they landed. Harry undid the top buttons of his dress shirt and pulled it up over his head. He felt emotionally and physically exhausted. Harry fell face down on the bed. He felt the castle's warmth wrap around him, drying his soaked hair, skin and pants. Harry raised himself on his hands and knees and crawled to Voldemort's side of the bed. He buried his face in his pillow, hoping to find his scent but found none. The castle cradled him with warmth and compassion and lulled Harry into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry woke up and felt like he had the most terrible hangover of all the time. He was nauseous and liable to vomit at the slightest provocation. He tried to remember if he had had anything to drink last night, but no, he had only had water. The sunlight filtering through the window made his head ache and he buried it in the pillow again. He could have met Voldemort last night. If only he had understood what his heart had been trying to tell him. Harry cursed verbally and punched the pillow. He hated himself and he felt angry at Voldemort. At least, he had a busy day to drown his misery in or maybe the day would bring enough misery to drown him. He was bound to find out soon enough.

He rose from the bed and after a quick shower, he got dressed up in another all black ensemble. He couldn't figure out why but black was beginning to appeal to him more and more every day and the castle seemed eager enough to keep his wardrobe stocked with black. After getting on a pair of black shoes, he opened the door to his room and found Fred and George standing in the doorway. His jaw dropped and he stared at them incredulously,

"How long have you guys been standing here?"

The twins grinned impishly and eyed him from head to toe,

"Just the past thirty minutes. You really ought to add more colour to your dressing, Harry."

Harry chuckled and eyed their matching maroon robes with gold embellishments and their dragon hide boots,

"I'm fine with black. You guys look like royalty though, as you should."

The twins huffed out in pride,

"Royalty sounds great. But we're nothing compared to you."

Harry laughed and pulled them both in a hug,

"I don't know what I would do without you guys."

Harry felt their hands rub his back,

"We're always here for you, Harry."

Harry released them and the twins exchanged an uncomfortable glance with each other. Harry knew what they were thinking and spoke,

"I know that Hogwarts is on the agenda today. Don't worry, we'll make it through the day."

The twins visibly relaxed but Harry noticed the tension in their shoulders,

"What's wrong?"

The twins didn't meet his gaze and Fred spoke,

"Maybe Sirius should have this conversation with you."

Harry sighed in exasperation,

"Now you're just making me tense."

The twins laughed nervously,

"Well, have you thought about what you're going to do if they refuse to cooperate? We were discussing this topic with Bella and Sirius yesterday at the Ministry and it might be a problem if you decide to just let them go."

Harry felt the colour drain from his face. Of course, he hadn't thought about it in this light. He gulped and leaned back against the wall. What was he supposed to do? He had never thought this far ahead. The twins patted him on the shoulder,

"We were thinking about…..."

Harry looked up at them,

"Thinking about what?"

George cleared his throat and spoke,

"Azkaban…but without the dementors."

Harry eyes widened and he felt the ground slip from underneath his feet. Azkaban. No, he couldn't just sentence the people that he had once known, the people that had once pretended to care about him, his former so-called friends to prison. How could the twins expect him to do that? How could everyone expect him to do that? Harry felt Fred cup his face,

"Harry, we all thought this through. We understand that our family might be sentenced as well but it's necessary. They'll just cause trouble and disorder if you allow them free will."

Harry moved his fingers through his hair. There would be no difference between him and his predecessors if he did this. He didn't want to be cold and ruthless. He wasn't going to do this. There had to be another way and Harry was going to find it at any cost,

"Sirius, Bella and the others are going to discuss this with you. We just thought that you should be a bit more mentally prepared."

Harry nodded and thanked them,

"They're at Hogwarts. We should be heading there now as well. Some breakfast should do you good."

Harry felt his nausea from earlier return with a vengeance and he dry heaved,

"Harry, are you alright?"

Harry kept his mouth covered with his hand, afraid of emptying the contents of his stomach, here in the corridor,

"I don't think…. I can handle breakfast."

The twins had concern and worry written all over their faces,

"Do you need to sit down?"

Harry shook his head and removed his hand from his mouth. The only thought plaguing his mind right now was the decision he would have to make soon. He was dreading it but the sooner he got it out of the way, the sooner he might regain some peace,

"I'm fine. I've been feeling this since this morning. It's going to be fine. Let's just go."

The twins nodded and exchanged a worried glance before taking his arm and apparating.

Harry was seated at the head of a long table set in the centre of the Great Hall. Fred, George, Luna, Bellatrix, Sirius and the other head of departments were seated around the table. Breakfast appeared and Harry grabbed a glass of water to quell his nausea. Sirius eyed him with concern and spoke,

"You need to eat."

Harry sighed and picked up a sandwich. He knew he wasn't going to win an argument against Sirius so he might as well eat. The twins exchanged knowing glances and Harry passed them a warning glance. He didn't want Sirius to be worried.

He was nibbling on his sandwich when Bellatrix cleared her throat and spoke,

"There is a pressing matter that cannot be ignored any longer."

Harry put down his sandwich. He knew what Bella was going to say and he was trying to prepare for it. Sirius intervened,

"Harry, finish your breakfast. We can discuss this later."

Harry shook his head and rested his hands on the table,

"The twins told me about what you discussed this morning. I think we should talk now."

Sirius moved his hand over his face,

"I know what you're thinking, Harry. But it's not unethical or immoral. There aren't going to be any dementors there and with a bit of work we can turn Azkaban from a prison to more of a detention centre."

Harry laughed bitterly,

"Are you listening to yourself, Sirius? A detention centre. Those people aren't guilty of anything except for the fact that they were indoctrinated and manipulated by Dumbledore."

It was Bellatrix that spoke next,

"The Dark Lord would have made this decision."

Harry slammed his hands on the table and rose to his feet,

"He's not here. He abandoned me…. abandoned us. I wish he was here to make these decisions but he isn't and I'm not like him. I can't ever be like him."

Everyone on the table was wearing a pained look and Harry sank back into his seat. He was regretting his outburst but it was the truth. He could never make the decisions that Voldemort could. The silence around the table was oppressive and Harry was aware of the fact that everyone was expecting him to talk,

"I'm sorry. But I can't agree with you. I'm not going to sentence anyone to Azkaban. I'm more than willing to step down if you desire it. I only took this post because of your wishes and I would gladly leave it for them."

Bellatrix rose to her feet and cleared her throat. Harry was half hoping that she would demand that he step down due to his inability to make tough decisions but when she spoke all his hopes died in heart,

"It was foolish of us to expect you to make the decisions that The Dark Lord would. We can only apologize. We will accept and support any decision that you'll make today and in the future."

Harry looked around the table and he grew certain that Bellatrix's words represented everyone's opinion. Bellatrix grinned and continued,

"But, if any single one of them attempts to harm you verbally or physically, you can't expect us to hold back."

This statement was met with applause and grins from the table. He looked at Sirius and then turned to the twins who were wearing grins similar to Bella's,

"She's right, Harry."

Harry couldn't help but smile and wonder how he had ended with such devoted people. He must have done something extremely brilliant to deserve all these people. He raised his hands and spoke,

"Alright…Alright...Remind me to warn them about you guys."

Laughter rang across the table and reverberated across the hall, lightening the mood and the atmosphere. Harry felt his appetite return and he picked up his half-finished sandwich and finished it in a single bite. Conversations broke out all around the table and Harry picked up another sandwich and sipped his pumpkin juice.

Harry stood at the head of the Great Hall with Bellatrix, Sirius, Fred, George and Luna by his side. He had dismissed everyone else so that they could take care of matters at the Ministry. The table and chairs had been vanished from the centre of the hall. Harry pushed his hands in his pockets. He was nervous. Extremely nervous. They had decided to deal with the order in two groups. The Aurors were going to be dealt with first. Soon enough the Great Hall began to fill up with the Aurors that were being chaperoned by Death Eaters. There were thirty Aurors in total and Harry was sincerely hoping that they all decided to work with him. Once silence had enveloped the Hall, Harry drew a deep breath and spoke,

"Firstly, I would like to apologize for the discomfort because you had to spend the past two nights in the Dungeons. Secondly, I have a proposition for you. I would like for you to work with me for the betterment of Wizarding Society. You'll have all your former ranks and nothing will any different. In fact, I am hoping that there will be some improvements. But I need your help to make those improvements."

Kingsley's slow, deep voice rang through the hall,

"Lord Voldemort killed Albus Dumbledore and you assisted him. Your sincerity is highly dubious, Mr. Potter."

Harry took a step forward,

"Albus Dumbledore was manipulative and conniving."

Kingsley stepped forward and spoke,

"Those are thoughts that were fed to you by Lord Voldemort, who is truly manipulative and conniving."

Harry looked down at his shoes. His hands were trembling and he balled them into fists. Voldemort had been manipulative and conniving. That was past tense. He had changed. Voldemort had truly changed. Why didn't people understand that? Why couldn't they see that? He felt Sirius's hand on his shoulder. Bellatrix was about to say something when Harry raised his hand and spoke,

"He is my spouse and I won't listen to a word against him. Choose your next words wisely because then I won't be responsible for what will happen next."

Kingsley spoke in a measured voice,

"Where is your spouse?"

It took Harry all his strength to remain on his feet and he physically had to grab Bellatrix's arm to stop her from cursing Kingsley. He turned to look at Sirius who was holding the twins at bay, This was proving to far more difficult than he had first imagined. When he was certain that his voice wouldn't break, he spoke,

"This offer will not remain open forever. You have five minutes to decide what you want. The one's who decide to work with me will be escorted to the ministry for a briefing. The one's who decide otherwise will be allowed to leave."

Sirius conjured a chair and pushed Harry down in it. Harry didn't miss the pity in Kingsley's eyes and the eyes of all the other Aurors,

"Harry, breathe."

Harry gripped his thighs tightly to stop his hands from trembling. He didn't have the strength to tell everyone that Voldemort had left him and the reason why he had left him because people would never understand. They would just look at him as a victim and Voldemort as evil. They were still viewing him as a victim and Harry just couldn't stand the pity that he was seeing in the Aurors' eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Five minutes later, Harry rose from the chair and inquired,

"So, what's it going to be? The one's who wish to work with me, please step forward."

Harry felt extreme disappointment grip his heart when only four Aurors stepped forward. Kingsley stood back with the remaining Aurors and Harry didn't fail to notice the aura of defiance about them. Everyone had been right, they did look ready enough to cause trouble,

"I would like to thank all four of you for placing your trust in me. Rest assured, I won't disappoint you. The rest of you, you will be escorted out of the castle now."

Kingsley spoke again,

"Our wands?"

Bellatrix cackled maniacally and then snapped,

"You're lucky I haven't killed you after what you said. That's the most mercy you'll get from us."

Kingsley opened his mouth to retort when Harry turned to Avery who had been one of the death eaters to bring the Aurors to the hall and spoke,

"Escort them out of the castle."

Avery bowed his head reverently and maneuvered Kingsley and the others out of the hall. The four Aurors were escorted to the Ministry by Rookwood and when the hall was completely empty, Harry sat back down in the chair and massaged his temple,

"This was more difficult than I had imagined. I was really hoping that more of them would join us."

Harry felt Sirius's hand on his shoulder,

"Don't be disappointed, Harry. We can just recruit more."

Bellatrix laughed,

"They were lucky that you're in charge. Otherwise, none of them would have made it out alive."

Harry closed his eyes. He wished he wasn't in charge. His own words from a few days earlier echoed in his head. The words he had spoken to Voldemort and the way Voldemort had smiled at that remark.  _"I think that Hogwarts would be extremely happy to have you in control."_ Hogwarts wasn't happy at all. Harry could feel the its discontentment and anger. But that anger wasn't directed at him. No. It was directed at Dumbledore's puppets. Maybe they didn't deserve his kindness,

"Maybe, I am being too lenient."

Bellatrix conjured a chair and sat down beside him,

"You're being yourself. We all understand that it's not in your nature to be cruel. The Dark Lord adored your compassion. He may not be here with you at the moment, but, you have us. So, you can simply entrust us with the matters where a little cruelty is needed."

Harry met Bella's gaze. She smiled benignly and patted his arm reassuringly. She was right. He wasn't alone and not everything could be dealt with leniency so he would just have to trust them at some places. Harry smiled back and rose to his feet,

"Let's just get this over with."

Fred and George looked at him apprehensively,

"This lot is going to be tougher than those Aurors."

Harry nodded silently. He was certain that it was going to be far more difficult and he would have to steel himself to endure it,

"You can leave if you don't want to confront your family. I won't hold that against you."

The twins instantly looked offended,

"Harry, you're the only person that matters the most to us now. And I think you forgot the fact that we were willing to see them in Azkaban, if you made that decision."

Harry shook his head and mentally kicked himself. Of course, the twins were loyal to him. They had proven their devotion to him over and over again and he was a fool to ever doubt it,

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight."

Their grins returned brighter than before and Harry relaxed. Fred spoke,

"You're forgiven but don't say anything like that again. Honestly, it hurts."

Harry smiled apologetically,

"I won't."

The hall was beginning to fill up with students and order members and Harry felt apprehension dawning on him. Sirius squeezed his shoulder and gently spoke to him,

"It's going to be alright."

Harry forced his hands in the pocket of his robes and stared ahead. He spotted Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Mr and Mrs. Weasley in the crowd. He noticed several other familiar faces, most of them from Dumbledore's Army. He had never thought that a day like this would ever arrive. Once the hall was full. Harry cleared his throat and spoke,

"I'm not going to give a long speech. It didn't work with the Aurors that came before. I'm certain that all of you are fairly determined to hate me and I can't change your minds. I can only give you a choice. You can either work with me or you can walk away."

Murmurs broke out in the crowd and Harry turned to look at Sirius, who was wearing a severe expression on his face. He noticed similar expressions on Bella's, Luna's and the Twins' faces. It was Professor McGonagall that spoke,

"Potter, no one here hates you. We are all highly concerned for your well-being."

Harry felt puzzled at that statement,

"Concerned for my well-being, Professor?"

She pursed her lips and nodded crisply. It was Hermione that spoke next,

"Harry, we think you're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome."

Harry's eyes widened at that. He was shell shocked by their assumption. Hermione continued to speak,

"It's a muggle…."

Harry raised his hand and interrupted her,

"I know what it is and I'm not suffering from it."

Hermione, however, was wearing that look she wore when she was determined to prove something and Harry was not going to listen to anything she had to say,

"Please don't be concerned about my well-being. I'm in perfectly good health. The only thing that you should worry about is the choice that you have to make. You have five minutes."

Harry stared down at his feet and contemplated what Hermione had said. They clearly didn't know that Voldemort had left him, otherwise they wouldn't have made that assumption. Besides, he had only started having feelings for Voldemort because the man had changed. He had truly changed. And the other thing was that, Voldemort wasn't his captor, he was his spouse. He was married to that man and he truly loved him now. He just hoped that Voldemort would understand that and come back to him. Sirius's voice brought him out of his musings,

"Five minutes are up, Harry."

Harry closed his eyes. He was feeling extremely anxious. What would they have decided? The more anxious he became the more pronounced became his intellectualization of the whole matter. He rationalized and viewed the matter from different viewpoints as if he could force a positive outcome by his sheer brilliance of thought and hope,

"Okay."

He looked ahead at everyone and then repeated the statement he had repeated with the Aurors,

"Everyone who is willing to work with me, please step forward."

No one did. Harry had expected that and then closed his eyes. He would have to hire an entirely new set of staff for Hogwarts. This was just a disaster. He felt more than disappointed. He felt heartbroken. Harry couldn't believe that he had thought that these people cared for him. He had done so much for them. He had sacrificed so much for them and now when he had needed their help, needed their support, they had decided to back away. Harry felt Hogwarts rage as well and it made him realize that he was right. He was doing the right thing and it was the people that stood in front of him, that were wrong. They had been misled and Harry was certain that he would never be able to lead them back to the right path. Harry closed his eyes and attempted to soothe it with his magic and it worked to some extent,

"You're all free to go."

Harry turned his back to them, looked at Sirius and smiled,

"I'm heading for the Ministry now. I want Hogwarts empty by tonight."

Sirius nodded but Harry didn't miss the concern in his eyes. He hadn't lost anything today. If anything, he had gained the most loyal, the most devoted people he could ever have dreamed of. He just wished Voldemort was here. He wanted the man to be here with him more than anything. He needed him desperately. Harry felt his nausea from this morning return and he restrained the urge to twins came to stand on either side of him and spoke gently,

"We're coming with you, Harry."

Harry felt them take his arm and he was off.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry sat behind his desk, in his office, lost at sea about what he was going to do now. Where was he going to find teachers for Hogwarts? Hogwarts was supposed to be open now and he couldn't afford for it to remain shut for long. He had to discuss this with everyone as soon as possible. As if on cue, the twins walked in through his office door wearing their usual grins that seemed to warm his heart. They looked apologetic when they realized that they hadn't knocked. Harry decided to put the at ease,

"It's fine. Come and sit down."

They took their seats. Harry leaned back in his seat and continued,

"We need to hire an entirely new staff for Hogwarts. I've decided Remus is the best choice for Headmaster and he might be able to teach Defence against the Dark Arts as well but we need teachers for all the other subjects. I was hoping you could run an advertisement in the Daily Prophet as soon as possible. I just want Hogwarts to be open as soon as possible."

He wouldn't be needing a ground keeper because the castle would tend to itself. But he missed Hagrid and realized that he hadn't been there with the other order members earlier. Well he missed all of the teachers and he was certain he wouldn't be able to find their replacements. The twins rose to their feet, saluted him and spoke,

"We'll get that done now."

They had just turned to walk to the door when Harry spoke again,

"Wait, you must have come here for something. What is it?"

The twins turned back and wore matching nervous expressions,

"We wanted to ask your permission for something?"

Harry rose to his feet and stepped closer to them,

"My permission? But for what?"

They both looked at each other and then looked at him,

"Umm…. we wanted to invite Sanguini to the castle tonight. He wanted us to come to his but we're not going to leave you alone."

Harry felt genuinely overjoyed. It seemed Sanguini had managed to convince them after all. Before he knew it, he burst out laughing. The twins blushed. Harry barely managed to gasp out between his bouts of laughter,

"Seriously…. He managed to convince you…. This is wonderful news."

The twins stared at him with puzzlement,

"How'd you know about that?"

Harry leaned back against his desk and looked at them smugly,

"He was watching you duel, the night we took over Hogwarts and told me that he was interested in you both. I told him that you weren't into men but he seemed determined enough."

Their jaws fell open together and Harry couldn't help but laugh again. But this time he managed to stop himself and brought a serious expression over his face,

"He hasn't hurt you, has he?"

The twins quickly shook their words. It was wonderful to see them lost for words and so perplexed. Harry smiled and embraced them,

"Good. Because I'll definitely have his head if he does."

Harry felt their arms around him,

"I'll invite him personally. Don't worry."

They pulled away and smiled shyly. Harry didn't miss the blush and the glow on their faces and found the expression extremely adorable and spoke,

"Okay, out of my office now before I start laughing again at how adorable you guys look."

The twins murmured their thanks and stepped out of the office blushing furiously.

Harry made his way back to his seat and couldn't wipe the smile from his face. He felt happy. Extremely happy for the twins. Hope still coloured the world and not everything was as grey and dull as his life now. He still had to invite Sanguini. But Harry had a better idea. The castle felt too empty and the twins seemed honour bound to keep him company there. Maybe he ought to change that. Maybe he could shift the Death Eater headquarters to the castle. It seemed like a viable enough move and the castle was huge enough to house an entire army. Plus, he would be able to keep Sirius, Luna, Bella and everyone else close. He finalized his decision and pulled a parchment from inside the desk drawer to write a letter to Sanguini. He was half way through it when a knock on the door interrupted him. He spoke without looking up from the parchment,

"Come in."

The door opened and someone stepped in. It didn't take Harry long to place the suffocating lust and look up,

"What are you doing here?"

Draco lowered his gaze and stood silent. Harry felt his happiness from earlier fading fast and being replaced by rage,

"If you're here to stake your claim in this ministry then you are sorely deluded. You and your family were nowhere in sight when we were taking over Hogwarts or when Bella was fighting here at the ministry. There is no place for you here, Draco. So, go back to where you came from and DON'T…don't look at me like that."

Draco stepped closer to him and looked positively deranged,

"Why not? Why shouldn't I look at you like that? In fact, I should be able to touch you too now. He's gone. The Dark Lord is gone. So, what are you afraid of now, Harry?"

Harry was about to rise to his feet when Draco grabbed his shoulders, leaned over him and inhaled sharply. Harry pushed him away and rose to his feet,

"Get out of my office, NOW!"

He must have shouted because the door burst open and Bellatrix stormed inside. Her gaze took in Draco and Harry saw her face reflecting her hate,

"What are you doing here, brat?"

Draco still had his gaze fixed on Harry and Harry found it extremely unsettling. Draco finally turned away and was about to step out of the office when Bella grabbed his arm and demanded,

"Answer me."

Draco grinned and then spoke,

"Came here to kiss him. Now that The Dark Lord is gone…"

Draco couldn't complete the sentence because he was writhing on the ground, screaming at the top of his lungs and Harry couldn't help but feel vindictively satisfied at that. After the curse had gone on for more than a minute. Harry finally spoke,

"I think that's enough."

Bella rested her heavy booted foot on Draco's throat and pressed down,

"Kiss him, will you? I'll chop your lips off before you can try"

Sirius stepped into his office, followed by the twins. Harry sighed. This was getting out of hand. The twins looked practically murderous when their gaze found Draco on the floor and Sirius looked at Harry with a questioning expression,

"What's going on here?"

It wasn't Harry that replied. It was the twins, who currently had their wands trained at the slowly suffocating Draco,

"He's lusting after Harry."

Sirius's expression grew stern and he looked at Harry,

"Do you want Draco?"

Harry hadn't expected that question. Of course, he didn't want him. Harry couldn't understand Draco's obsession. Had never been able to understand it. Bella eased her foot off from Draco's throat and turned to look at Harry as well. Harry felt immensely touched by that gesture. Bella was willing to let Draco live if he wanted him despite her overwhelming desire to kill him. Harry knew that he had never seen so much pure devotion before,

"No, I don't."

Bella cackled madly and replaced her foot on Draco's throat again. The twins looked ready enough to kill but Harry didn't want Draco's murder on his conscious. It was Sirius that finally spoke,

"Stop, Bella. We don't need a murder on our already long list of issues."

Bella hesitated but reluctantly pulled off her foot. Draco immediately began sputtering and coughing and raised himself to his knees. Harry decided that a threat would be suitable at this moment. After all he knew that Draco valued his life,

"If you come anywhere near me again. I'll let Bella and the twins have their fun with you and I can assure you that they won't let you live afterwards."

Draco rose to his feet shakily and leered at Bella,

"Tell me auntie, you kissed him. What did it feel like? Did it taste good?"

The colour drained from Bella's cheeks and she looked practically haunted. She stumbled back and Harry felt himself consumed by unimaginable rage. His hands balled into fists. He had had enough. Harry launched himself at Draco and they both landed on the carpet. Harry on top, Draco beneath him. He landed blow after blow at every part of him he could possibly reach,

"You bastard…."

Draco laughed madly and made no move to protect himself. Harry felt Sirius's grab his shoulder and attempted to pull him away from him but Harry refused to move and continued to punch Draco to a pulp. Sirius managed to pry him away and wrapped an arm around him. Harry struggled against him,

"Let me go, Sirius. He deserves it. That bastard deserves it all."

Sirius held him tight,

"Breathe, Harry. Calm down. You don't want to do anything that you'll regret later."

Harry strained against Sirius's hold, trying his best to launch himself at Draco again,

"Harry, stop it!"

The rage was beginning to drain away from Harry leaving him feeling extremely empty. Sirius turned him around and hugged him,

"Breathe. Just breathe."

Harry caught sight of Bella leaning against the wall with tears streaming down her cheeks. Harry pulled away from Sirius and stepped closer to her. He wiped away the tears and spoke softly,

"Forget about that. Everything's alright."

She didn't meet his gaze. Harry cupped her face and made her meet his gaze,

"It's alright. Everything's alright."

Harry embraced her and attempted to soothe her. He managed to succeed to some extent. She stroked his cheek with her cold metallic cheek,

"You've really forgiven me?"

Harry pulled away from her,

"Yes, I have."

After she seemed to have calmed down to some extent. Harry turned to Draco,

"Get lost, Draco. I don't want to see your face again."

The twins looked at Harry with their wands at the ready, waiting for his approval but Harry shook his head,

"Not today, guys. But if he shows up again, you have my permission to kill him."

Draco rose to his feet and almost nearly stumbled out of the room. As soon as he was gone, Sirius grabbed Harry's hands and brushed his fingers over his bruised knuckles. Harry winced and pulled them away reflexively,

"I'm fine, Sirius."

He looked around and saw the concern on everyone's faces. Sirius sat him down and began healing his knuckles. Harry sat still and silent through the entire process and when Sirius was done, he finally spoke,

"I'm fine. It's a good thing that all of you are here though. I was thinking earlier and I've finally decided that I'm going to move Death Eater headquarters to my castle."

My castle. It was his and it truly and utterly belonged to him. Sirius was rubbing soothing circles on his back,

"What caused you to make this decision?"

Harry pursed his lips and spoke,

"Because I don't want to be alone. The castle is huge and I would like all of you to stay there with me."

Sirius kissed the top of his head,

"When do you want us to move in?"

Harry thought about that,

"We can have a feast there tonight. I'm going to invite Sanguini and Remus tonight as well."

Harry didn't miss the way the twins blushed at Sanguini's name. Bellatrix laughed raucously,

"It's done then. I'm going to spread the news and find Rodolphus so we can get the packing done."

She rushed out of the room excitedly. Sirius gently spoke,

"Are you sure you're fine?"

Harry nodded and smiled,

"I'm fine, Sirius. In fact, I'm happy that we're finally going to be living together, like a family."

Harry turned to the twins,

"It seems we have a feast to prepare for."

The twins chuckled softly,

"Leave it to us, Harry."

Harry suddenly remembered the task he had set them up with earlier and spoke,

"No, you should take care of the advertisement. I'll prepare for the feast."

The twins looked hesitant but then nodded and stepped out of the office. Harry turned to Sirius,

"I have some letters to write then I'm going to head home. You have to be there by seven. The twins will provide you with the details."

Sirius was frowning,

"How are you going to prepare for the feast all by yourself."

Harry smiled brightly,

"You're going to be surprised."

Sirius didn't look like he believed him but nodded nonetheless and walked away. Harry got back to his letter to Sanguini, curled it up and threw it away. The letter wasn't relevant anymore. Harry thought that this was the perfect time to mingle with all his allies. They had been there with him at the time of war. It was only fair that he keep in touch with them during the time of peace. He wrote down an invitation to the feast along with the instructions to get to the castle and with a wave of his duplicated it and sent the copies to be mailed to all his allies including Sanguini and Remus. He had to admit that he was excited. Even though memories of Voldemort kept plaguing his mind and his heart kept yearning for his presence, he was happy. Or as happy as he could be.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry hadn't even needed to lift a finger. The huge hall had decorated itself. Green, silver and gold banners adorned with the dark mark hung from the roof, crystal chandeliers hovered overheard bathing the space in wonderfully warm light. A long wooden table was placed in the centre of the hall, a long green silk runner crossing its length with crystal centrepieces placed on it. The silver cutlery and the crystal goblets shone brightly in the light.

Harry could practically feel the castle's excitement at being inhabited again. He looked down at himself and decided to take a shower and change. Somehow, he didn't want to remember beating Draco up but his mind kept being drawn towards it. Had he done the right thing? Maybe he was becoming as cold and ruthless as Voldemort had once been. Maybe he should have sat him down and talked him out of his obsession. But, no, he had been tolerant. He had only beaten him up because he had verbally attacked Bella. Harry passed one last quick glance around the hall to see if something was missing. Once he was thoroughly satisfied, he turned around and started walking to his room. The corridors were extremely silent and Harry wondered if his screams had ever carried out to these parts of the castle. He was glad it wouldn't silent for long. He didn't like the silence.

Harry reached his room and pushed open the door. His gaze was drawn towards the bed again. His heart ached as he remembered his last night with Voldemort. He should have known. He should have figured it out. Harry knew that blaming himself wasn't going to help his cause. It wouldn't bring Voldemort back. But what else could he do? He felt so damned helpless and broken. He didn't know how to cope with it. It felt as if Voldemort was in his reach but he just couldn't reach out and grab him. He couldn't even blame Voldemort because the man didn't understand emotions or sentiments. He just didn't understand love. That had been his job. He was supposed to explain it to him. He was supposed to make him understand and he had failed miserably at it. Blaming himself was the only thing he could do. He just wished he had a reminder. Something that belonged to Voldemort. Something that he could hold onto until Voldemort returned. Something that would help him get through this.

Harry felt the world spin around its axis and he collapsed on the bed. He struggled to open his eyes and attempted to sit up but his head felt too heavy. What the hell was wrong with him? He drew in several deep breaths, trying to get as much air into his lungs as possible. He had had breakfast. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped lunch but the thought of food made him nauseous ever since Voldemort had left. Maybe some water would do him good. Harry felt a cool sensation on his forehead and the heaviness in his head began to subside. He raised his hands and felt a damp cloth placed there. He continued to draw in deep breaths and felt better instantly. He was able to finally open his eyes and sit up straight. A glass of water and a plate of cucumber sandwiches was waiting for him on the side table. After thanking the castle, Harry downed the glass of water in one and nibbled on the sandwich. He was grateful for the fact that this hadn't happened to him in front of Sirius or the others.

After finishing his sandwich, he rose to his feet and tested his balance. He was good. It was fine. He made a mental note to keep himself fed no matter how sick the thought of food made him. He couldn't afford something like this to happen to him in public.

An hour later, Harry stood at the entrance of the castle with the twins by his side. He was glad to see that almost all the death eaters had arrived. He was even gladder to see Bellatrix arrive with her husband. She was dressed in a long black silk gown with her luggage hovering behind her. She took in her surroundings looking awestruck,

"This is absolutely stunning. Why would The Dark Lord keep this concealed from us?"

Harry forced himself not to frown at the mention of Voldemort and strictly kept his smile in check. Bella, however, realized what she had said when Rodolphus nudged her gently. She instantly covered her mouth with her hand and looked extremely apologetic,

"I'm sorry. I didn't…."

Harry cut across her and changed the subject,

"The castle will take care of your luggage. Just relax and enjoy the evening. I'll give you a private tour later."

Bella passed him a watery smile and Harry saw tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. They had definitely come a long way. A few days ago, Harry could have never imagined that Bella would ever care about him or that he would ever see tears in her eyes. He pushed away the thoughts and spoke gently,

"Rodolphus can you lead her inside?"

Rodolphus nodded silently, wrapped an arm around Bella and led her inside,

"Harry, are you…"

Harry nodded his head without looking at either of the twins,

"I'm fine."

He couldn't help but grin when Sirius walked up to him with Remus at his side. Harry embraced Sirius instantly,

"I'm so happy, Sirius."

Sirius wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back gently,

"I'm happy too."

Harry turned to Remus and noticed that his expression had changed. He wasn't smiling like he had been a minute ago. Harry looked at him quizzically,

"Is something wrong?"

Remus shook his head and hitched up a smile. He opened his arms invitingly,

"No, Harry. Come here."

Harry nearly fell into his arms. Remus's warmth was so reassuring that Harry nearly melted into his embrace. Remus patted him on the shoulder,

"Harry, everything's going to be fine. It's going be alright."

Harry nodded his head. Remus pulled away from him. There was something in his eyes that Harry couldn't understand. Remus smiled reassuringly. Harry finally spoke,

"I've only got a couple of guests left to greet. I'll see you inside."

Sirius nodded and led Remus inside. After they had departed, Harry greeted the Veela delegation. He was waiting for Sanguini and his delegation and it seemed the twins were anxious to see him too. It seemed he was the last guest to arrive. Sanguini sauntered up to him, a wide grin on his face and his arms wide open. He embraced him. Sanguini instantly pulled away, his eyes wide, shock evident in his eyes. He looked like he had been burned,

"Harry…."

Harry couldn't fathom what had happened to put that expression on Sanguini's face,

"What's wrong?"

Sanguini just looked conflicted for a moment, finally he took Harry's wrist and pulled him away from the entrance and steered him outside. The twins followed hot on their heels. They came to a standstill inside the Orchard and Harry looked into Sanguini's eyes, trying to read what was in them. Sanguini cupped his face and then spoke gently,

"Harry, you're expecting."

Harry's blood thundered in his ears and his heart threatened to explode with the newly acquired knowledge. It was as if the words had knocked every wisp of air from his lungs, and he stood there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything. Sanguini's hands left his face and held him around his waist before he collapsed on his knees. He was white as chalk. His eyes and his mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although he was staring straight at Sanguini, he appeared not to notice him at all. Sanguini shook him gently,

"Harry…. Harry, you have to breathe. Please."

Sanguini wrapped him an embrace. He felt the twins holding him from behind. Harry tried to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the words bounced around inside his skull,

"Just breathe, Harry."

He couldn't manage it no matter how hard he tried. That's when Sanguini spoke,

"Harry, I've already been there at two of your miscarriages, I cannot bear to see you go through another one. Please breathe."


	9. Chapter 9

The thoughts were accelerating inside his head at an unimaginable speed. Harry wanted them to slow down so he could remember how to breathe but they wouldn't. His heart was hammering inside his chest like it belonged to a rabbit running for its skin. His world spun around him and he held onto Sanguini tightly. He felt so sick. Two miscarriages. That's all that echoed inside his head.

Sanguini looked down at the distressed and dishevelled form in his arms and then looked up to meet the twins' gaze. He was beginning to regret his decision of informing him. On top of everything, he had let slip the fact about the two miscarriages. How stupid could he possibly be? The twins looked just as distressed. He took Harry's wrist in his hand and gripped it firmly. Picking up on the frantic rhythm of Harry's heart, he slowly began rubbing his thumb over his pulse in soothing circles. He hadn't wanted to do this. He didn't want to influence Harry, didn't want to subdue him. Harry had the right to react. He had a right to panic and fall apart and by doing this he was taking away that right. But it was important. Harry would hurt himself and the unborn child again if he didn't calm him down now. He closed his eyes and focused on Harry's erratic thoughts and began to rein them in. When he was certain that he had full control of Harry's mind and body, he leaned down and gently whispered the order in Harry's ear,

"Sleep."

Harry's body instantly went limp in his arms. He felt a rush of relief flood through him as he listened to Harry's deep, steady breaths. He released Harry's wrist and picked him up in his arms. Fred finally spoke,

"What did you do to him?"

Sanguini looked up at the sky and spoke,

"He's sleeping."

Fate wasn't fair with Harry and he despised it. He had endured so much and when the time had come for him to be happy, fate had intervened and Voldemort had abandoned everything and vanished. He was supposed to be by Harry's side at this time because Harry needed him the most now. He couldn't help but resent Voldemort. George's voice brought him out of his reverie,

"What's going to happen now?"

Sanguini looked away from the sky,

"We'll wait for him to awaken."

He didn't miss the tears in their eyes. They loved Harry and were utterly devoted to him. He was about to comfort them when Sirius's voice boomed out from a distance,

"What are you…."

Whatever he had been about to say died in his throat at the sight of Harry's lifeless form in Sanguini's arm and he rushed forward,

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GODSON?"

The twins held him back and Sirius struggled against them. Remus rested his hand on Sirius's shoulder and spoke softly,

"He found out, didn't he? I was afraid this would happen."

Sirius turned to look at Remus,

"Found out what?"

It was Sanguini that replied,

"He's expecting. And he knows he's had two miscarriages."

Sirius's jaw dropped and his eyes widened in horror,

"WHAT? How did he find that out?"

Sanguini looked away, too embarrassed to admit that he had messed up. Sirius however had drawn a conclusion and attempted to launch himself at him,

"You told him! How could you?"

The twins continued to hold onto him,

"It was an accident. It's not his fault."

Sirius yanked himself away from them and stepped closer to Sanguini. He looked down at Harry's pale face and pressed a kiss to his forehead,

"What happened to him?"

Sanguini refused to meet Sirius's gaze,

"I had to subdue him."

Remus drew closer to Sirius and wrapped an arm around his waist. Sanguini continued speaking,

"He stopped breathing…I didn't want to do it…I just had to."

Remus spoke quietly,

"You did the right thing. We need to get him up to his room."

He turned to Sirius,

"For heaven's sake, you need to calm down, Sirius. Harry's going to need your support. He'll need you to lean down on. You need to be strong for him."

Sirius nodded shakily,

"I'll have to manage the guests."

Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius's cheek and rubbed his back,

"I'll come with you."

Sanguini looked at the twins,

"Lead the way."

…

Sirius sat by Harry's side on the bed. Sanguini stood in the far corner of the room, in the shadows with an arm wrapped around each of the twins, as he whispered comforts in their ears. Remus had decided to stay in the hall and coordinate the dinner. The door exploded open with a bang and everyone looked up to find Bellatrix standing in the doorway looking murderous. Her expression melted into one of distress and pain when she saw Harry on the bed. She rushed to his side,

"I knew something was wrong. I just knew it. All of you wouldn't vanish without a reason. I tried asking the werewolf…"

She paused when she saw the stern expression on Sirius's face and then corrected herself,

"Remus…I tried asking him about what was going on but he refused to say. What happened to him?"

Sirius sighed in exasperation but didn't say anything. She looked at the twins who just clung silently to Sanguini and refused to talk. She turned back to Sirius and regarded him with tear filled eyes,

"Tell me. I understand that you don't trust me but Harry does and he would never keep anything from me."

Sirius moved his fingers through his hair and finally spoke,

"We trust you, Bella…Harry's expecting and he just found out about the miscarriage The Dark Lord never told him about."

Bella's gaze drifted to Harry and tears slipped down her cheeks,

"This isn't fair to him. This just isn't…I never thought I would see a day when I would question The Dark Lord's intentions but I can't help it. Why would he just abandon him like this? Maybe he knew about this?"

Sirius's gaze widened,

"What are you implying Bella?"

Bella bit down her lip,

"Maybe…"

Sanguini finally spoke,

"No, he doesn't know. Harry wasn't expecting on the night of the battle otherwise Remus or I would have picked up on it. Whatever happened…happened right before Voldemort departed."

Sirius closed his eyes and carded his fingers through Harry's hair. Sanguini turned his attention back to the twins and focused on reassuring them. It was Sirius that spoke,

"You should go back down."

Bella rose to her feet,

"If you think I'm leaving this room before I see him well and awake, you've got another thing coming."

And with that she began pacing the room anxiously. After a few minutes, Sirius cried out in irritation,

"If you're going to wait for him to wake up then at least sit down. You're giving us all a headache."

Bella scowled at Sirius but sat down on the edge of the bed,

"You're not the only one whose worried about him, you know."

Sirius let his expression soften,

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Bella was about to say something but she stopped as soon as she saw Harry stir.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry lay still. He had been awake for a while now. He had woken up when Bella had burst through the doors. His thoughts had returned and he felt relatively calmer now. Everything inside him was aching though. His heart, his mind, his soul, they were aching like hell. He had been lamenting the fact that Voldemort hadn't left anything behind for him and now…...now he should be overjoyed. After all, Voldemort had left him the most precious gift of them all. A life, a tiny existence that was inevitable proof of the bond they shared.

Harry tried to be happy. He tried to coax his heart to feel the joy but the ache was too deep. Two miscarriages. It must have been before the miscarriage he'd had after Destrian's death. How could Voldemort hide something like that from him? He tried to remember, to pinpoint exactly when it must have happened. But he couldn't think. Maybe he didn't want to think. His heart and mind refused to go anywhere that would lead him to resent Voldemort. He loved the man and nothing, no lie or hidden truth could ever change that. That had been the past and he wasn't going to allow it to ruin his present.

This child was all that he had now. A reason for him to live, his shimmering gold thread of hope. Maybe Voldemort would return to him if he found out. He wanted him to be here. He wanted to be held and comforted by him. He wanted his arms around him, his soft tender kisses on his skin, his possessive hold. He yearned for it. All of it. He needed Voldemort. He needed him more than anything now.

But Voldemort wasn't here. Instead there was a ton of responsibilities waiting for him. First and foremost was the dinner he had arranged, personally invited everyone to and then vanished. By what Bella had said, it was still underway and he could still fix it. He could always brood later when he was alone. Right now, he needed his façade back. He needed to show that he was strong enough to handle himself.

Harry pushed the ache, the need, his thoughts, his grief to the deepest pits of his heart and mind and opened his eyes. He was instantly met by Sirius's worried gaze. Harry forced his lips to curve up into a smile and attempted to raise himself into a sitting position. Sirius immediately rested a hand on his shoulder,

"Harry, relax."

It took Harry everything ounce of willpower inside him to keep his smile in place,

"I'm fine, Sirius."

He sat up and looked around to find the twins with tear streaked faces clutching Sanguini and staring at him concernedly. That same expression was mirrored on Bella's face. As much as he was glad to know that he finally had what seemed like a family, there was a gaping hole that no one but Voldemort could fill. Harry resisted the urge to look beside him at what used to be Voldemort's side of the bed. Nope. He was not going to think about that,

"All of you look like someone died."

Sirius immediately chided him,

"Harry!"

Harry spoke in a matter of fact voice,

"What? Seriously you all look like it."

Sirius smoothed his hands over his face and Harry saw the twins' and Sanguini smile softly. Bella on the other hand looked utterly conflicted. Sirius finally spoke,

"You remember what happened? All of it?"

Oh, so Sirius thought he had forgotten it all. He wasn't likely to forget something like that even if someone obliviated him,

"Yes, I remember, Sirius. And from what I remember, we should be celebrating. There are guests downstairs and I think it's extremely rude to keep them waiting."

Harry nudged Sirius to get up. Sirius was staring at him wild eyed and incredulous as if he had lost his mind. Maybe he had but right now he had guests to meet and socialize with and there was no time to waste. Harry got out of bed and stepped in front of the mirror. He looked like death. Maybe that's why Sirius and everyone else had been staring at him like that,

"Just give me a minute to clean up. I'll be down in a while."

Sirius stepped closer to him and rested his hand on his shoulder. Harry saw the concern in his eyes through the reflection in the mirror. He smiled again but he knew it didn't fool him. Sanguini spoke softly,

"We'll see you downstairs, Harry."

He maneuvered the twins out of the room. Bella followed close behind, the conflicted expression still plastered on her face. When the door closed. Sirius turned Harry around and forced him to face him,

"Why don't you cry, Harry? It'll ease that burden on your chest."

Harry met Sirius's gaze and let his smile slip,

"I won't cry. I haven't cried since the day he left me because if I did that would mean that I admit it's over. And it's not over, not by a long shot. He'll come back to me. I know he will. He has to."

Before he knew it, Sirius had him wrapped up in a tight embrace,

"Harry, I don't know how to comfort you. Tell me. What can I do to make it all better? I can't bear to see you like this. You can fool everyone with that smile but not me. You're hurting inside, Harry, and I'm afraid that it'll consume you whole. I don't want to watch that happen. I've seen you go through enough pain already."

Harry pulled away from Sirius,

"You can't. There's nothing you can do to make it better. Only he can. I'll only be better if he's here with me again. But until that day arrives, I'll hold on. I'll bear it all and I'll be fine. Trust me, Sirius."

Sirius patted his cheek,

"I trust you, Harry. But you're not the only one I'm worried about now."

Harry held Sirius's gaze,

"I won't let anything happen to it. It's my life now."

Sirius pressed a kiss to his temple,

"I'm here for you. Just remember that."

And with that he stepped out of the room. Harry turned back to the mirror. The pain was visible on his pain. He was making an effort but it wasn't good enough. He needed to work harder on his acting.

After splashing water over his face, righting his hair and changing into a clean, unrumpled pair of robes, he stepped out of the room and made his way downstairs.

Wearing his smile, he walked into the hall and watched as everyone rose from their seats to greet him. Harry nodded and smiled as he passed the death eaters, telling them to sit down and making his way to the head of the table, where the delegations were seated. He apologized to them after exchanging polite snippets of conversation with them, walked towards Remus who embraced him gently,

"You knew, didn't you? You found out before Sanguini did. Why didn't you tell me?"

Remus rubbed his back gently,

"Harry, I couldn't. I knew you would react like that and I couldn't be the one to hurt you. How are you now?"

Harry whispered softly,

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

He pulled away from Remus and took his seat. Sanguini passed him a wan smile and Harry glanced at the twins who looked a bit relaxed. Sirius was seated to his right beside Bellatrix who was still regarding him with a mixed expression. She looked utterly confused and that confused Harry. It was Sirius that spoke,

"You need to eat, Harry."

A plate laden with food appeared in front of Harry, enough for two. Harry couldn't help but grin. Even the castle was fussing over him now. He picked up his knife and fork and got started on his steak. He had just thought about water when a glass appeared next to his plate. After downing the water, he looked up only to be met with disbelieving glances,

"What?"

Sirius pointed to his plate and glass,

"How did you do that?"

Fred and George exchanged knowing glances and then asked together,

"Yeah how do you do that?"

Harry laughed softly and shook his head,

"Magic."

He returned to his food before anyone could ask him anything else. He didn't want anyone to know. This was one of the many secrets he would hold close to his heart. Maybe he was selfish to do so but he had the right to be a bit selfish, didn't he?


	11. Chapter 11

Harry finally had solitude. Dinner had gone exceptionally well. The delegations had left happy and the death eaters were settling in wonderfully. Even the castle seemed joyful at being inhabited again. He looked around the bedroom and the pain returned. It felt like the ghost of all those memories was slowly methodically consuming him and he couldn’t stand it…couldn’t bear it at all. He apparated.

Harry found himself back in the cemetery, back besides Destrian’s grave on his knees and with his head against the stone. He had his eyes closed, his hand over the grave. The garland from yesterday was still there. The colours just as vivid as they had been yesterday. Somehow, he still couldn’t bring himself to believe what Sanguini had said. He had to say it out loud. Maybe then it would seem more real, more believable,

“Destrian…. I’m….”

Harry paused,

“I can’t even say it and you won’t understand but I think I might have you back. Will you come back to me?”

Harry smiled despite himself. Fate really did find some sadistic glee in playing with him. He wanted Destrian back in his lap. It was a possibility now and he would do anything to make it happen,

“He might come back to me if you will.”

Voldemort appeared in the cemetery but the sight of Harry kneeling there beside Destrian’s grave. nearly made him backtrack. He cast a disillusionment charm on himself and silently ducked behind a headstone. Harry looked practically grief stricken, there was no happiness on his face, none of the joy he had seen in the picture. Harry was gorgeous but he looked so defeated and broken. It made his heart ache. Had he done this to him? No, Harry couldn’t possibly lament him. He would most probably celebrate his absence and cherish his freedom. Then why…why was he here? Why did he look so pained? After a few minutes of silence, Harry finally spoke and his words struck him like thunder.

He slumped back against the headstone he had concealed himself behind. Had he misheard or misunderstood? No, he was certain about the meaning behind Harry’s words. Regret and self-loathing consumed him. What had he done? How could he have overlooked that? It was a strong possibility that Harry didn’t want the child just like he hadn’t wanted it last time. He had all the right to get rid of it because it would only serve to remind him of all the torments he had inflicted upon him. His thoughts came to a standstill when he heard Harry speak again………. His hands clutched at his hair. He wanted him back...but why? Why would he want to live with a monster? The monster that had inflicted so much pain upon him, broken him down over and over again and relished it. Harry had said that he had wanted him that night but he had considered that Harry had only spoken all those things in a haze of lust and desire. There was no lust now and Harry still wanted him. He just failed to grasp the concept.

His heart, though was aching to hold Harry close, to comfort him, to kiss away all the pain that was visible on his face. He wanted to care for him, nourish him, support him just as spouses were meant to. The child…. his heart danced in his chest with the joy. Their child….and the thought that Harry wanted it….it was too much happiness. The thought of having a family with Harry warmed his heart. They could be like normal people…. celebrating little joys and finding comfort in small gestures. He could picture it so perfectly…. Him and Harry taking care of the new born, soothing the baby when it cried, making it laugh, playing with it, watching it grow up……

He scoffed at himself and the images faded along with the warmth and joy. Their relationship wasn’t normal, it wasn’t healthy. It had been built on Harry’s screams, blood and tears. Normal people didn’t force other people to marry them. They didn’t threaten them, violate them, didn’t torture their spouses. No, Harry would never be happy with him, no matter how much Harry wanted him. He could never take care of Harry like he imagined because deep down he was still a monster…. Dumbledore had been right….he would only hurt Harry again and he didn’t want to…couldn’t afford to………would rather die than do it again.

Harry’s heart felt an odd kind of satisfaction. It was hard for him to believe that his restless, aching heart was at peace right now. It was definitely because of Destrian. He made himself comfortable and snuggled close to the headstone. He knew his show of affection to a grave could be described as nothing short of insane and if anyone saw him here, Sirius or the twins…..they would go berserk….. but they didn’t understand. They could never hope to understand what Destrian meant to him. Only Voldemort could. Harry wished he would show up tonight. Maybe that was part of the reason he was back here, kneeling here, waiting for him. The silence was too eerie and he didn’t like it. He knew Destrian wouldn’t like it as well so he started talking and before he knew it he was pouring his heart out and telling him all about his day from the moment he had woken up till now.

Voldemort leaned back against the headstone and listened to Harry telling Destrian all about his day, every little detail, laughing at the parts he found funny, his tone grew fond whenever he mentioned the twins or his Godfather or Bella or Sanguini. His voice filled with grief when he told Destrian all about what had happened at Hogwarts. It grew resentful when he mentioned the incident with Draco. The joy returned when he told Destrian about how he had shifted the Death Headquarters to the castle. And then it became wistful when he told him all about what had happened when Sanguini had given him the news and the truth about the miscarriage.

When Harry was finished, he felt unburdened. He should have started doing this yesterday. His gaze scanned the empty graveyard and he sighed. It seemed Voldemort wouldn’t be coming tonight. He wondered where he was and what he was doing. Wondered if the man missed him as much as he did. Everything he looked at reminded him of Voldemort, did Voldemort feel the same way? Did every breath, every heartbeat hurt Voldemort as much as it hurt him? Someday, if he ever came back, NO, when he came back, he would ask him all these questions. Harry rose to his feet slowly and pressed a kiss to the headstone,

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Destrian.”

He disapparated.

Voldemort heard the rustling of the robes and he peeked over the headstone to see Harry vanish. He rose to his feet and walked over to the grave. He knelt down and his hands caressed the ground Harry had been kneeling on moments ago. He couldn’t help himself, bent down and kissed it. When Harry had been describing his day, he had been talking too fast and he hadn’t had a chance to react to all the information he had poured out. Now, that he was alone in the absolute silence of the cemetery, he reflected upon it all.

He was glad to know that Harry was being well taken care of. He felt murderous intent towards everyone who had refused to join Harry. That intent intensified towards Draco. He should have killed that little traitor when he’d had the chance. He looked down at his hand. No, he would never kill again. Harry hadn’t wanted him to. He had said that on the day he had gone to negotiate with the goblins. He wished he hadn’t sent him. Maybe things could have been different. But they couldn’t have been. They would have always come to this. He couldn’t change who he was. He was happy that Harry had moved Death Eater Headquarters to the castle. He had wanted to do that for a long time. The thing that puzzled him was the lack of hate or resentment in Harry. How could Harry not hate him? He had concealed so much from him, concealed things that Harry had every right to know. He wanted Harry to hate him…. wanted him to resent him and forget him. He would never go back to him. He was certain that Harry would manage to rise above the pain. In a few days, he would forget all about him and move on with his life. 


	12. Chapter 12

Voldemort sat awake with a book open in his lap. He hadn't slept ever since he had left Harry. The words eluded him and his thoughts kept wandering off to him, his ears filled with his voice, his eyes clouded by his images. He couldn't get him out of his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried. His hands balled into fists and he tossed the book away. His head was spinning, aching, but that pain was nothing compared to what he felt in his heart and soul. He needed him. He needed Harry as much as he needed oxygen but he couldn't be that selfish. Couldn't have him because he didn't deserve him. His heart refused to accept that. It was adamant on yearning for Harry. At this rate, he was going to go insane.

He paced the room restlessly. He hadn't felt this restless before but after seeing Harry so broken, so weak and with the news he had delivered, he just couldn't bear to be away from him anymore. He needed to keep him in his sights, he had to know that Harry was safe….just needed to be close to him. Harry was everything to him now and he couldn't live without him. Couldn't stand to anymore.

Harry stared up at the ceiling blankly, his eyes wide open, his hands folded over his stomach. Even the castle's warmth couldn't comfort him or lull him to sleep. Harry tossed and turned. The pain was unbearable and Harry sat up straight. He kicked away the covers and got up to his feet. He couldn't stand it anymore. It was as if he had crossed some invisible threshold and now he couldn't tolerate the pain anymore. Harry stared at Voldemort's side of the bed. His eyes were burning and his chest felt heavy as if it were filled with lead. He could no longer see clearly. All he knew was that he was gone, out of his life for possibly forever. His brain screamed at him to look away, to stop thinking, but Harry absolutely refused to, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, he remained unwilling to back down. His dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief. A lone tear traced down his cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.  
He wept, tears streaming from his emerald green eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat, and still he didn't look away. Not until the sobs drove him to his knees did his determined gaze fall. He bit down on the back of his hand to hold back the sobs racking his body. Harry cried as if the ferocity of it might bring Voldemort back; as if by the sheer force of his grief everything that had happened would be undone and Voldemort would be laying back on the bed with him.

He cried until there was nothing left inside but a raw emptiness that nibbled at his insides like a hungry rat. His muffled sobs filled the silence of the room. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful wave of emotion slammed against him before he lost the feeling of feeling. Everything darkened into nothingness as he passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

When he regained consciousness, the sun was shining through the window and bathing him in its warm light. He was sprawled out on the carpet and his entire body felt heavy like each limb weighed twice as much as it had before and just moving it about was a slow, painful effort. He knew he had to get up soon but it felt so difficult. Slowly Harry pushed himself to his knees and then to his feet. He managed to stumble to the bathroom, turned on the shower and pushed himself directly under the cold spray. He welcomed the pebbles the cool water caressing his skin. Even though letting go of the tears had unburdened him to some extent, everything inside him was still burning and screaming. He envisioned the water, cooling down everything inside him and soothing the pain. It worked to some extent and Harry felt prepared enough to face another day.

He extradited himself from his heavy, soaked clothes and looked at himself in the mirror. His irises were threaded scarlet and every line of his face screamed out that he was in pain. He exited the bathroom and picked up his wand. He felt grateful to Voldemort for all the studying he had made him do because he wouldn't have known how to cast a glamour if it hadn't been for that. The glamour worked like a charm because he almost didn't recognize himself when he looked at himself in the mirror again. His practiced his smile and after dressing up, stepped out of the room. He made his way down the hallway, smiled and nodded as he passed several death eaters. The castel was bustling with activity. And the castle was mostly happy but Harry could feel that it felt his pain and shared his grief.

He located Sirius near the kitchens who instantly dragged him away for breakfast. Harry didn't have an appetite but he was relieved at the fact that Sirius couldn't see through his glamour. Breakfast was a quick affair and soon enough Harry was seated at his office in the ministry with the The Daily Prophet infront of him. The advertisement for Hogwarts took up most of the front page. They had set the interview date for tomorrow and Harry hoped that there were some skilled wizards and witches eager enough to teach at Hogwarts. But, somehow, he couldn't bring himself to be optimistic.

Harry was just on his way to attend a hearing when the lights began to flicker in the hallway before dying out completely and Harry paused in his steps. Everyone around him must have grown still as well because everything went silent. The atmosphere grew piercingly, bitingly cold and Harry instantly lit up his wand. Following his lead several other wands lit up behind him. He knew this cold…...would know it anywhere. His breath fogged up in front of his face, he could see it in the collective wand light. His stomach turned over when he saw that several towering, hooded figures gliding smoothly towards him, hovering over the ground, no feet or face visible beneath its robes, sucking on the air as they came.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry watched the Dementors glide towards him. The paralysing cold began to choke his lungs and a distant screaming filled his ears. It didn't take him long to realize that the screams no longer belonged to his mother, they belonged to him. A distant voice whispered in his head that he wasn't going to be able to protect himself. But he shook it away when he felt the presence of death eaters behind him. He had regarded them as his family. It was his job to protect them. But, how could he? He tried to remember. None of his memories worked. Ron and Hermione's faces only served to increase his despair. No, he wasn't thinking happy thoughts at all. And just when the dementor was an inch away from him. Harry saw his most recent memories flash in front of his eyes. His fingers entwined with Voldemort as they had watched the fireworks together. Their first proper kiss in the kitchen. Their last night together…. Harry felt drunk on those feelings…felt drunk on the happiness those memories brought on. So, drunk that he wasn't even aware of when the spell slipped off his lips,

"Expecto Patronum"

He watched as a burst of blinding white light escaped the tip of his wand. He expected his silver stag to erupt but it soon began to grow evident that it wasn't a stag. The light twisted and bent and Harry heard several gasps erupt as the death eaters behind him realized what it was. Harry felt too numb to believe it. The dementors froze rather than glide away and the light swallowed them whole. Harry slumped against the wall and he felt several hands holding him. His gaze was fixed on his Patronus, watching it consume the dementors like they were nothing. What had Voldemort done to him? Harry couldn't close his eyes even if he wanted to. His Patronus slithered away, no doubt, hunting down any other dementors that were in the vicinity.

Soon enough, it returned. Coming to a stop in front of Harry. Harry stared in wonder and disbelief at the gigantic snake made of pure light. It's sharp fangs and large eyes. It was beautiful and Harry knew exactly what it was. It was a Basilisk. The snake bowed its head in front of him and Harry hesitantly reached forward to touch it. Somehow, it filled him with intense warmth, the kind of warmth that he had felt with Voldemort. Harry felt a few stray tears slip down his cheek. The light dissipated under his touch and the Basilisk vanished. His wand slipped from his hand and he instantly found himself in a tight embrace,

"Harry….."

It was Sirius's voice. He rubbed his back,

"It's fine…."

But before he could finish his sentence. An unfamiliar voice laughed and the sound of someone clapping their hands filled the otherwise silent hallway,

"What a show! I am completely blown away by your performance, Minister."

Sirius turned away from him and Harry saw a man standing at the other end of the hallway. He looked severely emaciated…a frail skeletal figure with a skull-like face, great sunken eyes and wrinkled cheeks. He stepped closer and Harry stood his ground,

"Who are you?"

Sirius's grip on his shoulder grew tight and Harry felt as if Sirius knew exactly who the man was. The man made a disappointed face,

"You really have no idea who I am? I find that insulting because I know everything about you, Harry Potter."

He grinned again and Harry noticed that he had intense blue eyes and several of his teeth were missing,

"No matter, we will have a lot of time to get acquainted."

The man drew closer and reached out to touch him when Sirius grabbed his arm. Instantly he was thrown back against the opposite wall where he slumped to the ground. Harry cried out,

"Sirius!"

He was about to rush to him when the man gripped his wrist. Harry felt several wands being raised in his defence but the man spoke calmly,

"Lower your wands."

Harry's gaze was fixated on Sirius. He felt the breath return to him when Sirius moved an inch. Several spells were fired at once but they bounced off some invisible barrier. Turning his attention back to the man, he gritted out,

"Who the hell are you?"

The man laughed, the sound making the hair all over Harry's body stand on end,

"Tell me something. Your Patronus was supposed to be a stag not a Basilisk. How did that happen?"

Harry struggled to pull his wrist away,

"That is none of your concern."

The man's smile didn't waver an inch,

"Quite the contrary. Everything regarding you and your lover is my concern."

The man drew out his wand and pressed it to Harry's throat. Harry found his wand lying close to his feet. The man followed his gaze and kicked it away,

"You are stronger than I imagined. That Patronus you just cast…absolutely magnificent. You just made my day."

Harry continued his attempts to pull away but the man's grip was relentless,

"What do you want?"

The man's grin vanished abruptly and it was replaced by a murderous glare,

"You will find out."

And then his grin returned,

"After all, like I said, we will have plenty of time to get acquainted."

Harry was tired of the riddles, tired of the confusion. He was exhausted, physically and mentally. It was taking him all his will to keep his glamour up. The man moved his wand up and traced it down Harry's cheek. Harry felt his glamour slip away and the man's grin widened,

"That glamour was not fooling me. Underneath all that warm lively exterior, you are cold and dead inside. You even look like it too."

Harry gritted his teeth and yanked his wrist away. This time the man allowed it. Harry instantly attempted to put some distance in between himself and the man but as he took a few steps back, his back collided with the invisible barrier. The man stepped closer to him again. Harry was weary of the games, he slumped back against the barrier and met his icy blue gaze,

"Just tell me who you are."

The man took another step towards him and Harry felt the tip of his wand press into his stomach. Harry's hand immediately flew towards it, pushing it away. The man laughed hysterically,

"You are actually carrying the Heir of Slytherin. I could end it…. end the child before it is even born…end your life…... but not yet…You have nine months, Harry. Nine months to prepare yourself…. nine months to run away and hide yourself and your precious child…... At the end of those nine months I shall return and the world will kneel before me…. muggles and wizards alike."

The man abruptly stopped laughing and gripped his chin,

"I do hope that you will run to that lover of yours. I have a score to settle with both of you."

Harry turned his head, away from his touch. The man stepped away from him,

"I shall enjoy facing you. You will make a fitting adversary."

Harry felt the barrier vanish from behind his back and several spells flew past him towards the man. The man laughed maniacally and danced down the hallway, unscathed and unaffected by the spells hitting him. He shouted over his back and vanished laughing gleefully,

"GRINDELWALD…...I AM GELLERT GRINDELWALD!"


	14. Chapter 14

Harry sat at the head of the table with his head buried in his hands, listening to everyone around the table arguing and bickering, as he thought about Grindelwald’s threat. It had become apparent to him that everything that had happened inside that invisible barrier hadn’t been seen or heard by anyone and that was a good thing in Harry’s books. Sirius and the others would never leave him alone if they’d heard that Grindelwald seemed to hold a personal vendetta against him and Voldemort. But he hadn’t even known the man so he had no idea what the man had against him or Voldemort. He still didn’t know anything worthwhile about the man but he planned to remedy that as soon as he got some time alone. Voldemort would have probably known what Grindelwald wanted. Harry scolded himself. _Don’t go there._ But he didn’t plan on running. Running and hiding wasn’t an option. He was going to prepare himself for a fight. Harry sighed inwardly and slammed his hand down on the table. Pin drop silence ensued instantly and Harry rose to his feet. He was glad he’d had the presence of mind to pull his glamour back up as soon as Grindelwald had vanished,

“The first thing we need to figure out is how Grindelwald escaped from Nurmengard and how we didn’t find out about it sooner. I’m going there personally as soon as this meeting is over.”

Sirius opened his mouth but Harry cut across him,

“I’m not going to stay here and sit idly. I’ll take the twins with me. Meanwhile I want you to stay here and take care of the employees that were affected by the dementor attack. I also need you to investigate how Grindelwald got into the ministry with a group of dementors supporting him. And lastly I need you to run all the other affairs in my absence.”

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and his disapproval was visible on his face. But Harry knew that he wasn’t going to voice it. He turned to Bella,

“Bella, I need you manage the press. I’m not looking to bury this matter entirely. The public deserves to know the truth. I just need you to make sure that they don’t spice it up too much and cause controversy and mass panic.”

He passed his gaze around the table and addressed everyone in general,

“I know we’re understaffed. We barely have any Aurors. But we need to tackle this Grindelwald situation as quickly as possible. And I’m sure we can do that by sticking together as a family. Right now, we need to employ all our resources to find him because I have a feeling that he is at his weakest right now. As for the Aurors, we shall start the hiring process from tomorrow along with interviews for Hogwarts. Bella, Sirius, Rodolphus, Theodore and Rabastan. You’re responsible for the hiring process for Aurors. Fred, George, Remus and I will deal with hiring professors for Hogwarts. I know we can overcome any obstacle together so I’m counting on all of your support and your loyalty.”

Harry stopped talking and noticed similar guilty expressions on several faces. Harry knew what they were thinking. They were feeling guilty about their inability to protect him earlier but Harry really didn’t care about that and he decided to make it known,

“There is no place for guilt on this table. Whatever happened is in the past now. We need to look to the future.”

The guilty expression eased a bit and Harry finally allowed himself to smile. He’d done enough bossing around. He was about to retake his seat when Bella asked,

“What happened when he had you alone?”

Harry straightened up again and spoke,

“Nothing happened. I just came to know that the guy is a head case and we need to contain him as soon as possible.”

Bella didn’t seem appeased and Harry saw concern flash in her eyes. He saw that same concern reflected around the table. He retook his seat and finally spoke out,

“I’m fine. There’s no need to worry.”

Harry tucked a fringe of his hair behind his ear that had been bothering him for a while now and spoke,

“This meeting is adjourned. I’ll see you all at dinner.”

When everyone had filed out of the room, Harry found himself alone with Sirius, Fred and George. Sirius finally rose to his feet and spoke,

“Start talking, Harry. I need to know everything that bastard said to you.”

Harry leaned back in his seat and stared up at Sirius,

“Nothing, he said nothing.”

Sirius growled in frustration,

“According to everyone present there, you were alone with him for more than ten minutes. You cannot expect me to believe that you were having a silent stare off with him or the both of you were exchanging pleasantries and discussing the bloody weather.”

The twins snickered and Harry couldn’t help but laugh as well,

“This is serious, Harry!”

Harry closed his eyes and attempted to get a serious expression on his face but failed miserably,

“He said nothing that made sense. It was all just gibberish.”

Sirius sighed and rested his hands on Harry’s shoulder,

“Harry tell me all that gibberish. Maybe it would make sense to me.”

Harry pulled away from him,

“I can’t even remember it. Like I told you, it was just gibberish.”

Sirius pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead,

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you today.”

Harry rose to his feet and embraced him,

“I’m fine and I should have been the one protecting you.”

Sirius patted him on the back,

“I’m your Godfather, Harry. It is my responsibility to look after you.”

Harry nodded,

“I know you are and I am so grateful and so proud to have you in my life.”

Harry turned to the twins,

“Shall we get going?”

Sirius’s grip tightened on his shoulder,

“Not so fast, Harry James Potter. If you think I will allow you leave without lunch then you have another thing coming.”

Sirius was in his mother hen mood and Harry knew this time none of his arguments would deter him from it. Despite his lack of appetite, Harry nodded his head and allowed Sirius to mollycoddle him.


	15. Chapter 15

Nurmengard was a gigantic, towering building made of black rock and with high walls. As Harry explored it the best he could describe it was that it was a grim fortress and the cold, chilly air gave him the feeling that Dementors had been here. Harry made his way through the long corridors up to the cell that had been inhabited by Gellert Grindelwald. It was a dark and ominous room in the highest tower, with a hard bed and a ragged, thin blanket. Harry rifled through the blanket and checked the bed. He was shaking out the pillowcase when something slipped out of it and dropped to the floor. He bent down and took a closer look and realized what it was. Candy. A lemon Sherbet more specifically. Hadn't those been one of Dumbledore's favorite treats? Harry found it curious. A candy hidden in a pillowcase. People kept far more precious things hidden but a sweet wasn't precious at all. But maybe in prison, Gellert had valued it more than anything else.

The distant sound of something clattering forced Harry out of his thoughts and he whirled around. He had sent the twins to investigate the other wing of the prison. He dropped the sweet and was about to rush out of the cell when the door clanged shut. Harry's heart was beating at a million miles per hour. He wasn't afraid for himself. He was terrified for the twins. Harry pulled out his wand and attempted to unlock the door but nothing worked. He rattled the door noisily and peeked through the bars but there was no one there. Something told him Gellert was behind this and sure enough that same gleeful voice rang through the empty cell,

"I had a feeling you would come here."

Harry's grip tightened on the metal bars,

"I don't want to play your games."

His hands were instantly grabbed by two very bony ones and he came face to face with Gellert again. The expression on the man's face was manic,

"On the contrary. You will do exactly as I say if you want to get out of here."

Harry pulled his hands away from the bars and stepped back,

"I don't care if I get out. You can keep me here if you want."

Gellert laughed heartily as if he had cracked the world's funniest joke,

"I am planning on keeping you here but for now I want you to do something for me."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. He was itching to curse that mad man but he didn't want to risk anything when the twins could be in danger,

"What do you want me to do?"

Gellert grinned evilly and tossed him a knife. Harry caught it instinctively and cursed his years of Quidditch training,

"Carve your name and your lover's name in the wall for me."

Harry turned and looked at the wall,

"Why?"

Gellert's grin widened,

"Because you want to save your friends."

Harry turned back to look at him,

"Tell me how you got out?"

Gellert signalled towards the wall and growled out,

"Get to work!"

Harry's grip tightened on the knife and he had an image of himself tossing it at the man leering at him from across the bars. Instead he made his way to the wall and started carving in his name. He heard Gellert hum in approval,

"Do you know why I'm making you carve that?"

Harry ignored him and focused on the knife scraping at the stone wall. After a few minutes of silence, the knife flew out of his hand and clanged to the floor,

"You are going to respond to me when I talk to you."

Harry sighed and turned to face the man who was obviously insane,

"I thought you wanted me to carve. Besides you didn't respond to me when I was talking, why the hell should I do the same?"

Harry was quick to cast a shield before Gellert's curse hit him,

"That shield will not last for long and I can just as easily snatch that wand out of your hand as I snatched that knife."

Harry lowered his shield and drew closer to Gellert,

"Tell me why do you want me to carve my name?"

Gellert tsked,

"Not just yours…...Your lover's as well."

Harry rolled his eyes,

"Okay, okay…. mine and my lover's. Why?"

Gellert giggled like a school girl and Harry noticed a frantic look in his eyes,

"Because this is going to be your new home in nine months. I want you to claim it."

Harry feigned interest,

"Really? My new home?"

He gazed wide eyed around the dark, dreary cell,

"I think I should pick out some curtains, some new covers…..What do you think? Will yellow brighten up the cell? I personally think it'll do wonders."

When he turned to look at Gellert again, the man's gaze was empty and his expression was confused. Harry felt the sweet taste of victory on his tongue and spoke. Harry spoke with mock disappointment,

"You don't like yellow? What about green? I think it'll go great with my eyes."

Gellert shook his head and Harry saw the crazed look return to his eyes. He chuckled and spoke,

"I would go with red. I think it would go magnificently with your new-born's blood."

Harry tried not to imagine that but the thought nauseated him. He turned back to the wall and started carving his name with his wand. When he reached the end. Gellert spoke,

"What are you going to name the baby? You must be considering baby names."

Harry laughed at that,

"No, what's the point in naming something that won't get to live?"

Harry was half way through Voldemort's name when Gellert spoke again,

"What would you name it if I don't kill it?"

Harry stopped carving and turned to face Gellert,

"If you don't manage to kill it then that probably means that you're already dead. The name won't be your concern then."

Harry resumed his carving and when he was done. He turned around to find that Gellert was gone and the cell door swung wide open.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry pressed a kiss to Voldemort’s name and spoke,

“I’m so glad you aren’t here.”

And then he rushed out of the cell in search for the twins. He found them chained and unconscious in a cell. Harry could feel the sweat drench his skin, the throbbing of his own eyes, the ringing screams vibrating in his ears, and the thumping of his heart against his chest. His fingers curled into a fist, nails digging into his palm. He couldn’t hear his rapid breathing, but he could feel the oxygen flooding in and out of his lungs. Hesitantly, his eyes looked at Fred and George before him. Fear tortured his guts, churning his stomach in tense cramps. Fear engulfed his conscience, knocking all other thoughts aside. Fear overwhelmed his body, making it drastically exhausted. However, most of all, the fear was making him calm and that was what scared him the most.

Harry rushed inside and undid the chains. The twins slumped instantly to the cold stone floor. Harry collapsed on his knees beside them. The chains had dug into their wrists and the skin was raw. Focus. He had to focus. It didn’t take him long to revive them. When they opened their eyes, Harry let out a long drawn out breath that he hadn’t know he’d been holding.  They stared up at him groggily. Harry closed his eyes and hugged them both,

“I’m so sorry for bringing you here. This is all my fault.”

 He needed to get them back to the castle now. Harry gripped their arms and apparated. The castle seemed to sense his distress as soon as he appeared in it. Two death eaters spotted him and rushed to his aid. Harry shook his head and spoke,

“Fred and George. Help me get them to their room.”

The death eaters nodded quickly and set about the task of helping the twins to their room. It didn’t take long and once when they were carefully tucked in their beds, Harry sent for a healer. He didn’t like how pale the twins looked or the fact that they hadn’t said a word since he had revived them. Harry stood against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and the weight of the guilt pressing down on his heart. This was all his fault. He should have known. He was going to make Grindelwald pay when he saw him next. The healer came and went. Apparently, there was nothing wrong with them but Harry knew that everything was wrong. It wasn’t like the twins to remain silent for so long. A few minutes later, the door opened with a bang and Sanguini rushed in. He went straight over to the twins and pressed a kiss to their foreheads one by one. Harry was about to step out of the room when Sanguini spoke,

“Harry, stay.”

Harry went still and leaned back against the wall. He watched as Sanguini checked them over and fussed over them. Harry’s felt his heart bleed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No one else was supposed to get hurt. Everything was supposed to be alright. Sanguini drew closer to him and Harry averted his gaze. Sanguini loved them and he was the reason they were hurt. Harry couldn’t look him in the eye,

“Are you hurt?”

The question was unexpected. He wanted Sanguini to shout at him, he wanted him to blame him. Harry kept his gaze lowered and didn’t reply,

“Harry, tell me.”

Harry just shook his head. He should have been the one hurt, not the twins. It only served to make him feel guiltier,

“Fred and George are going to be fine. But I need to be sure that you are fine as well.”

Sanguini rested his hand on his shoulder,

“Harry, you need to speak.”

Harry couldn’t. He was too afraid that he would end up losing control if he opened his mouth to say anything. Sanguini sighed and stepped away from him,

“Harry, no one can ever hope to understand what you are going through. You are hurt but I know that you will never admit it.”

Harry just continued to look away. That was the problem. He should have been hurt. He forced his hands into his pockets so that their trembling wouldn’t show. He was afraid…very afraid. Today had just been a preview of what was coming. it was going to get worse...far worse,

“Can you take them away with you?”

Sanguini met Harry’s gaze but before he could speak, the twins shouted out in unison,

“NO!”

Harry closed his eyes. He was way too close to breaking down. Sanguini held Harry’s shoulders,

“Harry, you cannot isolate yourself.”

Harry shrugged away from him,

“You love them, don’t you? If you leave them with me, they’ll get hurt again. I can’t afford that and I’m sure, neither can you.”

The twins were on their feet and holding Harry in the blink of an eye,

“Harry, I love them but I am certain that they shall hate me if I attempt to pry them away from you. And their hate will be justified because I shall hate myself just as vehemently.”

Harry felt the twins rubbing his back,

“We’re fine. It’s fine. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Harry closed his eyes. Their words weren’t going to change the reality. Nothing was fine. Nothing was ever going to be fine as long Gellert was free. Everyone Harry loved was at risk right now. Harry couldn’t nod. Couldn’t return their assurances. Couldn’t even hold them back. The twins realized that and pulled away from him. Harry saw the concern darkening their features and his heart wrenched in his chest. No, there was no point in worrying them anymore than they already were. He hitched up a smile and lied through his teeth. That was all he did these days. Lie,

“You’re right. Everything’s going to be fine. We just need to catch Gellert as soon as possible.”

The twins smiled together and Harry’s aching, bleeding heart relaxed a bit. Harry watched as Sanguini wrapped his arms around their waists,

“I’ll give you some privacy.”

Harry stepped out of the room and was walking down the corridor when something collided with him hard. It didn’t take him long to realize that he was being held. The dark curly hair made him realize that it was Bella,

“I’m fine. Bella. I wasn’t hurt.”

Bella stepped away from him,

“I’m sorry. I was so worried. Are the twins alright?”

Harry nodded silently,

“Yeah they’re fine. They’re with Sanguini. You can talk to them later.”

Bella took a step back and folded her arms behind her back reverently,

“The news will be out in an hour.”

Harry nodded his head,

“Sirius hasn’t heard about what happened yet. He’ll go berserk when he finds out that you were attacked.”

Harry didn’t even want to imagine it. He sighed and spoke,

“He’ll find out though. I’m going back to the ministry.”

Bella held his arm,

“You need to rest, Harry. Overexertion isn’t good for you.”

Harry forced himself to smile,

“I know but I’m not overexerting myself. I need to be at the ministry when the news breaks out.”

Bella didn’t look pleased with his actions but made no move to protest. Harry walked past her and apparated to the ministry.

Harry was crowded by reporters as soon as he appeared in the Atrium. Bella appeared right next to him and whipped out her wand, keeping them at bay while Harry made his way to the elevators as questions and accusations were shouted his way. Harry paused and Bella spoke,

“You don’t have to answer their questions.”

Harry shook his head and spoke,

“I have to.”

He turned around and faced the reporters. Bella shouted out for silence and instantly the crowd became hushed,

“How long has Gellert Grindelwald been free?”

Harry didn’t have a clue to that and spoke,

“Next question.”

One of the reporters in the back and spoke out,

“Have you taken any actions to recapture him?”

Harry nodded,

“Yes, everyone at the ministry is focused on capturing Gellert Grindelwald. That is our top priority.”

It seemed like a diplomatic enough answer,

“There is news that The International Confederation of Wizards will be summoning you soon.”

Harry felt thrown off balance by that and he thought of a relevant reply,

“I haven’t received a summon yet.”

The next question was like a blow to Harry’s stomach,

“Where is The Dark Lord? As his spouse, you must know that.”

Harry thanked the reporters quickly and stepped into the elevator with Bella at his heels. Harry pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes until he saw stars. He breathed in, breathed out. Assuring himself that it was a good thing that Voldemort wasn’t here. He was capable of dealing with this. He was going to deal with this.


	17. Chapter 17

It was past midnight. Harry had his head rested on the table and his eyes closed. It had been chaos in the ministry when the news of Grindelwald’s escape had broken out. Harry’s desk was littered with letters and howlers he had received from the general wizarding population. Harry heard the door to his office open. He didn’t bother looking up. It was either Sirius or Bella. Sirius’s steady voice made him look up,

“Harry, it’s time to go home now. You’ve done enough for today.”

Home. Harry felt like crying hysterically. That castle didn’t feel like home without Voldemort. He rose to his feet and swayed a bit. Sirius instantly had an arm around his waist. He looked angry and Harry didn’t miss the resentment in his voice,

“Harry, if you don’t care about yourself then at least care about the child. There is no point in punishing it.”

Harry pushed away from Sirius,

“I’m not punishing it.”

Sirius grabbed his shoulders and shook him,

“Look at yourself. Look at what you’ve done to yourself. You’ll die, Harry. I can’t lose you….Do you understand me….I can’t lose you.”

He held him close to his chest. Harry rested his head on his shoulder and moved his fingers through Sirius’s long curly hair,

“I’m too stubborn to die and I won’t let it die either. Not this time.”

Sirius pulled him away and led him out of the office. He noticed that Bella and all the other death eaters had been waiting outside for him,

“I thought you would have left by now.”

Bella hitched up a smile,

“Can’t leave before the boss.”

Harry smiled faintly,

“I’m not the boss. Next time you can leave if I’m here late. But right now, let’s just grab some dinner.”

An hour later, Harry was laying his bed. He didn’t even have the strength to get up and apparate to the cemetery. He buried his face in the pillow. Today had been a disaster, a complete and utter disaster. But at the end of the day, he was just glad that the twins were alive and well. He shuddered when he imagined what Gellert could have done to them. He was also glad that Voldemort wasn’t here. Harry didn’t want him to be hurt. Maybe everything happened for a reason. No, he just couldn’t understand why Voldemort had abandoned him like he had. The reporter’s question still made his stomach clench and his heart bleed. He didn’t know where is husband was and that made him feel so inadequate. He felt trapped. He knew he shouldn’t. He was free. He had people who loved him, cared about him but nothing could feel that gaping hole in his chest that only Voldemort could feel. Voldemort was his escape. He wrapped his arms around himself and curled into himself. It hurt. It hurt like hell. Harry rocked himself and he didn’t know when his thoughts were enveloped by sleep and when he drifted off.

Voldemort paced the cemetery. His hands were clenched into fists. His body was trembling with rage. The newspaper lay open on the ground besides Destrian’s grave showing a severe and solemn looking Harry answering questions for the press. The attack on the ministry took up the entire front page. Harry had specifically been targeted in the attack and that bothered him. When he had left Harry at the castle with his loved ones, he had thought that he would be safe and happy. This was not what he had planned. He had unknowingly thrown Harry right in the center of another war and ran away. Harry hadn’t even shown up here today. He was worried about him. He had to see him to make sure that he was alright. He picked up the newspaper and looked at Harry’s picture again. No, he just couldn’t stand by and let Harry deal with this alone. He folded the newspaper and sighed. His presence wasn’t good for Harry. He couldn’t hurt him again. Harry didn’t deserve to be tied to him again. He had destroyed him countless times before. He couldn’t destroy him again. He had no choice but to work from the sidelines. He knew what he had to do. Voldemort folded the newspaper and held it close to his chest,

“Oh, Harry. I am so sorry.”

Sirius entered Harry’s room and found him sprawled on the bed. He sat down beside him and noticed that Harry had fallen asleep without changing last night. He really didn’t want to wake him up but he knew that Harry wouldn’t appreciate it if he let him sleep,

“Harry, wake up.”

Harry didn’t respond and alarms began going off in Sirius’s head. He turned him over slowly and realized how limp and lifeless Harry felt. His hand patted Harry on the cheek,

“Wake up…wake up, Harry. Please.”

Harry’s skin was scorching hot and his face was pale and ashen. He was running a fever. Sirius shouted out for help and ten minutes later, a healer was tending to Harry while Sirius, Bella and the Twins stood by and watched eagerly. The healer finally turned away, holding a piece of parchment in his hand,

“Superficially there is nothing wrong with him. He is just running a minor fever which will get better if he rests and takes these potions. But I believe that he has an ailment of the soul and no potion can heal that. You really must try to keep him happy.”

Sirius sighed and ran his hand over his face,

“Thank you for your time.”

The healer left the potions on the bedside table and Sirius cursed loudly,

“Try to keep him happy… He doesn’t want to be happy. I don’t know what to do.”

Harry’s hoarse laughter filled the room and Sirius immediately launched himself at the bed,

“HARRY! Do you realize how worried we are for you?”

Harry attempted to sit up but Sirius held him down,

“You are not leaving this bed today.”

Harry struggled weakly against Sirius,

“Don’t….”

Sirius pressed a kiss to his forehead and growled,

“Watch me, Harry.”

Harry turned his head away and closed his eyes,

“I don’t want to stay in bed, Sirius. I’m fine.”

Sanguini stepped into the room and spoke,

“Harry is right, Sirius. Let him go if he wants to.”

Sirius stared incredulously at Sanguini and the twins snapped togather,

“You can’t be serious.”

Sirius held Harry down and spoke,

“He is killing himself. You cannot expect me to let him die.”

Harry lay still and Sanguini spoke,

“Would you rather kill him yourself? He needs support, not another man to restrain him.”

Sirius held Harry’s shoulder,

“No, I am not restraining him.”

Harry struggled against him,

“Sirius…I think…”

Harry drew in a deep breath trying to keep his nausea at bay,

“I’m going to be sick.”

Sirius instantly pulled his hand away from his shoulder and Harry practically lept off the bed and barely reached the sink before he threw up. After dry heaving several times he rinsed his mouth and splashed water over his face. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror and stepped out in the room. The twins, Bella and Sanguini had left. Only Sirius remained. Sirius came closer to him and rubbed his back,

“Are you alright?”

Harry nodded. That question was nothing more than a formality now,

“Take your potions, Harry and come down for breakfast. Today, if I feel that you’re getting tired, you will rest. I will not tolerate any arguments.”

Harry nodded silently. When he was alone, Harry looked at the array of potions and downed them thoughtlessly. He looked down at himself and decided on a shower. After showering and changing, he went down to breakfast. He had interviews for Hogwarts on his agenda today and he couldn’t help but cross his fingers.


	18. Chapter 18

When Harry appeared in the Atrium that day, he felt almost good to see it crowded with people who had arrived for the interviews. At least the turnout was good. He made his way to the elevator through the crowd and stepped into it with Sirius, Bella and the twins by his side. Harry stepped out on the first floor with the twins and Sirius passed them a concerned glance,

“Look after him.”

The twins nodded quickly and Harry shook it off,

“I’m fine.”

The grills closed and Sirius and Bella were gone. Harry made his way to the office,

“So where are the interviews set up?”

The twins followed Harry to his office,

“In your office, of course. Sirius and Bella are recruiting Aurors on level ten.”

The door opened and Remus walked in,

“I thought I was going to be late…”

He paused when he looked at Harry and frowned,

“Are you alright, Harry?”

Harry smiled and conjured three more seats behind the desk. He sat down and Fred and George spoke together,

“Harry has a fever.”

Harry buried his face in his hands and groaned,

“Cooome on, guys.”

Remus stepped closer to Harry and felt his forehead,

“You really are burning. Why on earth are you not in bed?”

The twins snorted and Harry cut them off before they could say anything,

“I’m fine. It’s just a fever. These interviews are really important.”

Remus shook his head and took a seat to Harry’s right while the twins occupied the seats on Harry’s left,

“Let’s get started, shall we?”

 Two hours later, Harry felt like banging his head on the table because so far, all the candidates had been a huge disappointment. Most of them even know how to cast a proper Patronus and the one’s who did couldn’t cast a corporal one.

Remus looked at Harry and spoke softly,

“Maybe you should take a break, Harry. Get some rest and something to eat.”

Harry shook his head and straightened up in his chair,

“I’m fine.”

Remus rested his hand on his shoulder and was about to speak when a very familiar scent made him stop. The door opened and a tall, slender man stepped in. He had short dark chestnut hair, soft features and light hazel eyes but the scent was unmistakable,

“Harry, take a break please.”

He wondered if Harry could feel his presence too but it seemed unlikely because nothing had changed about Harry’s posture. Harry was looking at the man too but there was no recognition in his eyes, just that formal politeness that he had offered to every candidate. He was about to speak when there was a knock on the door,

“Come inside.”

A death eater stepped inside,

“Minister, an urgent letter has arrived for you.”

Harry extended his head,

“Well give it to me.”

The death eater shook his head,

“The man that brought it says he shall only deliver it to you.”

Harry rose to his feet. It seemed a little murky. Had Grindelwald sent him a letter? It was possible,

“Where is he?”

The death eater bowed his head,

“I seated him in Mr. Lestrange’s office. The man says that he is from The International Confederation of Wizards.”

Harry relaxed visibly and nodded,

“Okay. Thankyou.”

He stepped away from the desk and the twins rose as well but Harry signalled them to remain seated,

“I can deal with this by myself.”

He turned to the new candidate and smiled,

“Good luck. Remus is a tough person to please.”

He walked out of the office and spoke over his shoulder,

“Go easy on him, Remus.”

When Harry was gone. Remus shot up to his feet and closed the door with a wave of his wand,

“Why are you here?”

The twins exchanged puzzled glances. They were about to speak when Remus practically growled,

“You just saw him, didn’t you? I hope you realize that you did that to him. Is that what you came to see? Are you happy now?”

Understanding dawned in the twins’ eyes and they jumped up as well,

“It’s……Is it really him?”

Voldemort still hadn’t gotten over how weak and pale Harry had looked and when he had smiled at him and spoken. His voice had nearly made him want to fall to his knees in front of him. He hadn’t expected Remus to be here. His aim had been to get the job and keep a close eye on him without anyone being any wiser but this was a disaster. It changed everything,

“Why did you leave him?”

He looked up at him and shook his head,

“I just…I did not deserve him.”

Remus had him pinned to the wall in an instant,

“He loves you. He loves you like he has loved no one else. Who were you to decide what he deserved and what he didn’t?”

Voldemort pushed him away,

“I am his spouse.”

Remus laughed bitterly,

“His spouse. Let me tell you what you don’t deserve. You don’t deserve that bloody title. You were supposed to take care of him and you did the exact opposite. You destroyed him just like always.”

Voldemort leaned against the wall and closed his eyes,

“I did and I would have, over and over again if I had stayed with him. I am not what he needs. I can never be the one to soothe his pain or ease his strain. I can only cause him more pain and I cannot…I cannot do that to him so I have to stay away.”

Remus stepped closer to him and breathed out,

“Why did you come back then?”

He took a deep breath and stepped away from the wall,

“Grindelwald can hurt him and I shall not allow that to happen.”

The twins exchanged a meaningful glance and Remus spoke,

“So, you want to protect him?”

Voldemort nodded silently. Remus turned his back to him,

“What made you think that I would let you anywhere near him after what you did?”

Voldemort spoke softly,

“I did not think. No one was supposed to know.”

Remus turned around and moved his hands through his hair,

“Well, this is just lovely.”

Fred and George spoke together,

 “You really don’t want Harry to know that you’ve come back? He would be so happy to see you. He hasn’t been happy since you abandoned him.”

Voldemort looked at the twins and spoke softly,

“I know. But he will happy soon enough when he begins to realize what a monster I was and all the terrible things I did to him.”

The twins didn’t know what to say so they just looked down. Remus finally spoke,

“I am going to discuss this with Sirius before we make a decision.”

Voldemort straightened up and grabbed Remus by the throat,

“There is nothing to discuss. You may tell Black of my presence but you shall not stop me from protecting Harry. It is my right and despite the fact that I am a monster, I am still his spouse. That alone is enough to give me more rights over him then all of you combined.”

He pushed Remus away from him and took a seat,

“Shall we start the interview?”


	19. Chapter 19

Harry sat at the dinner table that night and looked down at the names of the shortlisted candidate. There were more files than food spread across the table despite Sirius’s protests. He looked up and watched as Sirius and Bella bickered over who they thought were better and he couldn’t help but smile. His gaze wandered to Remus and realized that he was staring at him peculiarly again,

“I’m fine, Remus. The fever is completely gone.”

Remus smiled softly,

“That doesn’t mean that you have been exempted from drinking your potions.”

Harry’s smile widened,

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The discussion went on till midnight but at the end of it, Harry had finalized his list of professors and Sirius and Bella had managed to produce a long list of possible Aurors. There was going to be one last interview of the finalized candidates and then Harry expected his life to get a little easier. He gave the list to Fred and George, who sent off the selection letters and then he trotted off to bed. He stripped out of his clothes and took a long shower before changing into his black silk pajamas. It took him a second to fall in bed and drift off to sleep.

Remus was sitting in bed, his back rested against the headboard as he studied a file open in his lap. The door opened and Sirius walked in looking exhausted. He began taking off his robes and Remus spoke,

“How is he?”

Sirius met Remus gaze,

“Asleep. The fever is gone but he’s not alright. I can just feel it.”

Sirius unbuttoned his shirt and flopped down on the bed beside him. Remus pulled his head in his lap and began combing his fingers through his hair,

“He’s going to be fine.”

Remus bent down and kissed his lips. Sirius raised his hands and held his face as he retaliated. Finally, Remus pulled away and spoke,

“We need to talk.”

Sirius opened his eyes and pouted,

“Do we have to?”

Remus nodded and handed the file to Sirius,

“Look at it.”

Sirius sighed,

“I wish you would stop bringing work to bed. I haven’t had a chance to cherish you in ages.”

Remus swatted him on the head lightly,

“We’ll have plenty of time for that when we get out from this crisis.”

Sirius grumbled and began studying the file,

“David Rommel. He tried out for the Aurors today. What about him?”

Remus had his eyes closed and he was pinching his nose,

“Don’t shout.”

Sirius sat up straight,

“Is there a problem? Because I finalized him, we’ll have to cancel his letter if there is.”

Remus shook his head and finally opened his eyes,

“I have no idea how to tell you this.”

Sirius was frowning down at the picture of the hazel eyed man and then spoke,

“You’re really terrifying me right now.”

Remus drew in a deep breath and spoke,

“He……ummm….”

Sirius’s voice was a bit loud when he asked,

“He what???”

Remus was sure Sirius was going to burst into shouts and curses when he found out. He was going to be practically murderous,

“He is Volde……”

He hadn’t finished the sentence when Sirius had lept out of bed and shouted out,

“WHAT???”

Remus rose to his feet and clamped a hand on his mouth,

“I told you not to shout.”

Sirius was struggling against him and his eyes were narrowed,

“I’m going to let you go but you have to hear me out.”

Remus pulled his hand away cautiously and Sirius stepped back. His eyes expressed his revulsion for the man perfectly as he drew in deep breaths to calm himself down,

“How do you know?”

Remus drew in a deep breath,

“He applied for the DADA post and I caught his scent during the interview.”

Sirius’s eyes widened,

“Was Harry there?”

Remus shook his head,

“I confronted him about it. The twins know about his true identity too.”

Sirius was trembling with rage,

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I would have murdered the bastard. I’m still going to murder him tomorrow when I see him.”

Remus rested a hand on his shoulder,

“You are going to do no such thing. He said he came back to protect Harry from Grindelwald.”

Sirius pushed him away and spoke,

“Grindelwald is not as much of a threat to Harry as he is.”

Remus crossed his arms over his chest,

“Are you really willing to take that risk after what happened in Nurmengard?”

Sirius cursed and shook his head. Remus drew closer to him again and kissed his temple,

“He is still bonded to Harry. Legally he is still his spouse and none of us can really interfere in their matters. If Voldemort wants to protect Harry from the sidelines then there is nothing we can do about it.”

Remus wrapped an arm around his shoulder and made him sit down on the edge of the bed. Sirius melted into his embrace instantly,

“I can’t betray Harry. He deserves to know the truth.”

 Remus kissed the corner of Sirius’s mouth and whispered softly,

“The truth won’t gain anything. Voldemort will disappear again if Harry finds out the truth. Isn’t it better for him to have him close without knowing it than losing him again?”

Tears streamed down Sirius’s cheeks,

“Harry doesn’t deserve all this pain. He deserves all the happiness and love in the world and that bastard…I can’t believe Harry expects that bastard to give those things to him.”

 Remus wiped them away,

“It’s going to be fine. Please try to be civil around him.”

Sirius laughed hoarsely,

“You want me to be civil around Voldemort?”

Remus was serious when he spoke,

“Yes. I want you to be civil around him. He’s not going to tolerate it if you try to stand between him and Harry.”

Sirius gritted his teeth,

“It’s not like he’s going to let Harry know that he’s back so I really can’t stand between him and Harry. Don’t expect anything from me, Remus. I hate him and I have every right to make my dislike known.”

Remus laughed and pulled Sirius close. He turned his head around to face him and kissed his lips again,

“I hope you know that you look extremely adorable when you’re grumpy.”

Sirius shook his head and protested weakly,

“I am not adorable.”

Remus nuzzled his head in Sirius’s shoulder,

“Keep telling yourself that.”


	20. Chapter 20

Harry stood in his office relishing the calm and quiet. His thoughts were all muddled up, his feelings were…he didn’t know where his feelings had vanished to. Everything felt wrong. Everything just felt so meaningless. Ever since he had cried, he felt so empty. He was supposed to feel better but he didn’t. He moved his fingers through his hair. What was he supposed to do? Sometimes he just wanted to leave everything and run. No…That was a dangerous thought. He wasn’t a coward. He had to stay. Not because Grindelwald was on the loose but because he wanted Voldemort to know that he was waiting for him. He wanted Voldemort to be able to find him if he ever returned. A knock on the door brought him out of his reverie. The door opened and Harry turned around to see Luna walk in,

“Luna…”

He stepped closer to her and she embraced him instantly,

“Harry, how are you?”

Harry kept his eyes closed and the lie slipped through his lips naturally,

“I’m fine.”

Luna rubbed his back gently,

“We both know that’s a lie.”

Harry kept his eyes closed,

“Where were you? I’ve missed you so much.”

Luna pulled away from him and smiled softly,

“Take a seat.”

Harry sat down and she sat in front of him. She was about to speak when the door opened and Fred peered in,

“Your finalized candidates are here.”

Harry rose to his feet and smiled apologetically at Luna,

“Just give me half an hour, Luna. I’ll wrap these up and then we can talk. In fact…Why don’t you join me?”

Luna had a knowing expression and her signature dreamy smile on her face. It warmed Harry’s heart and she spoke softly,

“Of course, I’ll join you.”

Harry turned to Fred,

“Could you start sending them in now?”

Fred looked hesitant,

“You should wait for Remus. I can call him.”

Harry shook his head,

“Remus has tons to do. He’ll join me when he gets the time. Just start sending them in.”

Fred was about to leave when Harry stopped him,

“Could you start with the DADA one? I wasn’t at his interview so…”

Fred was wearing a grim expression and left. Soon enough there was a knock on the door and the same hazel eyed man from yesterday walked in. Harry checked his name on the list and then looked up at him,

“David, right? Take a seat.”

The man was dressed in royal blue robes and exuded authority. Harry instantly knew that Remus had made the right choice. When he was seated, Harry spoke again,

“Tell me about yourself, David. It says that you’re from America. What made you move here?”

David started talking and Harry nearly lost himself in his melodic voice,

“I moved here because I needed a fresh slate to start.”

Harry turned the pages in the files and David spoke again,

“Minister, I have done some things that I am not proud of. They have not been mentioned in the file but I want you to know them because I do not wish to deceive you.”

Harry looked up and met his gaze,

“You don’t have to say anything. The past is in the past and it doesn’t last forever so whatever you did in the past is irrelevant. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

David was staring at him wide eyed and Harry couldn’t help but smile despite what he was feeling inside. He just wished that Voldemort understood this and came back to him,

“You can call me Harry.”

David shook his head,

“No, Minister.”

Harry tsked,

“I insist. We’re going to be working together and I really won’t tolerate formalities.”

He rose to his feet and extended his hand. David stood up a moment later and took it. They shook hands but as soon as David pulled away, Harry’s head spun and he was momentarily blinded. Luna was holding his shoulder a moment later,

“Harry…Harry…Are you alright?”

He felt strong hands helping him back down in the chair and then heard David’s voice. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was concern filled hazel eyes,

“I’m…I’m fine.”

He rested his head against the back of the chair and felt a glass of water being held to his lips. It didn’t take him long to realize that David was holding the glass,

“You need to drink some water, Minister.”

Harry took a sip from the glass and then laughed softly,

“I told you to call me Harry. How would you feel if I started calling you Mr. Rommel?”

He took another sip and then pushed away the glass,

“Did you have anything to eat this morning, Harry?”

Luna had asked that question and Harry replied instantly,

“Yes, I did. Don’t you dare tell anyone about this, Luna. Seriously…you have no idea how crazy Sirius is these days.”

Luna smoothed his hair,

“I won’t tell anyone but you need to think about getting a healer.”

Harry turned to look at David, who looked as pale as a sheet and spoke,

“I’m not ill or anything. You’ll know soon enough if you stick around.”

David still looked concerned and had turned to leave the room when Harry stopped him,

“Where are you staying these days?”

David turned around and spoke,

“I have rented a room at…”

Harry raised his hand,

“Well you’ll work for me, right?”

David nodded quickly,

“Good, you can stay with us then. Fred and George will show you to it. Oh, and welcome to the family. I’m so glad to have you.”

David smiled weakly but Harry didn’t miss the concern that was swirling in his hazel irises. When David had left, Luna squeezed his shoulder,

“You need to see a healer, Harry. This is what I came to talk to you about.”

Harry crossed his arms over his chest,

“And what do I need a healer for?”

Luna rested her hand on his stomach,

“You need a healer for this. Harry, you nearly passed out right now, you had a fever yesterday and Sirius told me all about what happened yesterday morning. These aren’t good signs and you need to take them seriously.”

Harry closed his eyes,

“Fine. I’ll see a healer.”

When he opened his eyes, he realized that Luna was smiling brightly,

“I knew you would listen to me.”

Harry smiled back but before he could say anything else. A knock on the door informed him of the next candidates arrival.

He was just interviewing the new Transfiguration teacher when the door burst open and Bella burst open,

“We need you downstairs, Harry.”

Harry looked up at Bella questioningly and she elaborated,

“Sirius is being unreasonable.”

Harry passed Luna a glance and she shrugged,

“Okay, I’ll be down in a second.”

Bella shifted her weight on her feet uncomfortably and Harry had no choice but to apologize to the candidate and rose to his feet,

“Okay, Bella. Let’s go.”

As soon as they emerged on level ten, Harry noticed the tension in the air. Bella led him through the crowd and into a courtroom where a huge crowd had gathered. The crowd parted as soon as they saw Bella and she led him through the crowd right to the center where Harry saw Remus holding an enraged Sirius back and surprisingly he saw David on the other side,

“David?”

David lowered his wand,

“Minister.”

Harry turned to Remus,

“What’s going on?”

Remus kept a tight hold on Sirius and spoke out,

“Harry, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be upstairs.”

Harry shook his head and turned to David,

“What’s happening?”

David had lowered his gaze and Harry just grew frustrated,

“Is anyone going to tell me what the commotion is about?”

Sirius had managed to free himself from Remus’s hold and gritted out,

“David and I are just having a duel.”

Harry raised an eyebrow,

“A duel?”

Sirius nodded,

“He wants to be an auror. We should know what he’s made of and a duel is the best way to find out.”

Harry nodded silently and drew out his wand,

“I’ll duel him.”


	21. Chapter 21

David’s wand slipped from his fingers and landed on the floor with a dull clatter,

“I cannot duel you, Minister.”

Harry tsked,

“You just called me minister again when I specifically told you to call me Harry.”

Sirius had a tight hold on Harry’s shoulder,

“No, Harry. You are not going to duel him.”

Harry turned around and faced Sirius,

“Why not?”

Sirius scowled,

“Because he’s not worth your effort.”

Harry laughed,

“Not worth my effort but he is worth yours? What’s going on, Sirius? You seem bothered.”

Sirius looked away and Harry made him face him,

“I don’t like him.”

Harry looked at David and then back at Sirius,

“You don’t like David? Why is that?”

Sirius huffed out an indignant breath,

“I just don’t like him.”

Harry twirled his wand between his fingers and frowned. He was aware of everyone’s attention on him and Sirius.

“Is there a legitimate reason for your dislike?”

Sirius glared at David and then shook his head. Harry felt puzzled. He turned to David and beckoned him closer,

“Mr. Rommel, what have you done to irk my dear Godfather?”

Sirius growled and Harry attempted to keep a straight face. David kept his head lowered and spoke in a low voice,

“I have done nothing, Minister.”

Remus stepped forward and patted Harry on the shoulder,

“Harry, relax. This is just a childish argument that is probably already settled.”

Harry wasn’t convinced. There was something going on between Sirius and David. The tension between them was almost palpable,

“Okay. But I’m still going to duel him.”

Sirius groaned in protest and Remus spoke,

“Harry, that is not necessary. There isn’t going to be a duel. Just relax.”

Harry looked at David and spoke,

“Can we talk somewhere private?”

Sirius immediately spoke up,

“Harry, he can talk to you later. Right now, we’re in the middle of the selection process.”

Harry chuckled,

“Right…selection process…”

He walked away and said over his shoulder,

“Mr. Rommel, I expect you in my office after you’re done with the so called selection process.”

When Harry had departed. Sirius turned to Remus, whispered something in his ear and strode out of the courtroom. Remus bent over the desk set in front of him, signed an appointment letter and handed it to David silently. David took it with a smirk and vanished it,

“Good job, Remus.”

Remus passed him a strained smile,

“Sirius is waiting for you in his office.”

David walked through the crowd. Everything that had happened since this morning was unexpected. His thoughts were racing. He was still wondering about the blackout Harry had had earlier. Had it been because he had touched him or was he sick? He could tell that underneath the cheerful exterior that Harry wore so well, he wasn’t fine and he was to blame for that. He reminded himself that Harry was going to get better. Whatever Harry was facing was temporary and it was all going to be alright. He was going to be happy. He pushed open the door and the man instantly pounced on him. The door closed behind him with a slam and he found himself pinned to it by a large black dog with its canines inches away from his throat.

It only took a flick of his wand to have Black subdued, restrained and back to his human form. He grabbed him by his long curly hair and arched his neck back,

“Behave yourself, Black.”

Sirius fought against the restraints and growled out,

“Why are you back?”

Voldemort laughed and dug his wand into Black’s throat,

“I believe Remus has told you all about that.”

Sirius continued his futile struggling,

“You ruined his life. You ruined everything. He was finally happy. That night when you gave him the locket, I saw the joy in his eyes. I watched the way his eyes lit up for you. But you couldn’t bear it, could you? You couldn’t bear to see him happy and that’s why you abandoned him. Do you know what he’s going through? He’s…”

Voldemort leaned against the door and finished the sentence for him,

“Expecting.”

Sirius’s jaw dropped in bewilderment,

“You knew…”

Understanding dawned in Sirius’s eyes and his expression morphed back into rage,

“You knew and you left him despite that.”

Voldemort grabbed him by the throat,

“I was not aware of it when I was leaving him. It was a mistake on my part…”

Sirius cut across him,

“Mistake? A mistake on your part? That unborn child is a mistake?”

Voldemort squeezed Sirius’s throat and snarled,

“That unborn child is my heir and Harry is my spouse.”

Sirius laughed contemptuously,

“Spouse…I’m glad you remember that.”

Voldemort released his throat and laughed menacingly,

“I remember it. Do you? Do you remember when you forced the draught of peace down his throat? Do you remember when you held his hand out for me so that I could put the ring on his finger? Do you remember how he begged you to help him? Do you remember that day, Black?”

Voldemort smirked in satisfaction as he saw the rage melt away from Black’s face and tears streamed down his eyes instead,

“I am a monster and I do not deny it but what are you, Black?”

Sirius let his head fall,

“Do not attempt to interfere in my matters because I shall make you regret it. Currently we share the same goal and that is Harry’s safety.”

Sirius nodded shakily and Voldemort vanished the restraints. He drew closer to him, bent down and patted him on the head,

“Good dog.”

He turned around and stepped out of the office. He had dealt with his most troublesome hurdle successfully. He expected it all to be smooth sailing from this point onward but he also knew that nothing regarding Harry was going to be simple. This matter could get complicated now that he had landed both jobs. An Auror and a professor. He had always wanted to teach Defence Against The Dark Arts. It was fascinating how Harry had been the one to fulfil that desire after so many years. But that thought also made fresh guilt simmer in his heart because he had never fulfilled any of Harry’s desires. Maybe he could start now. Maybe he could give him some semblance of calm…some happiness not as himself but as David.


	22. Chapter 22

Harry was pleased to see David at dinner that night,

“Are you settling in fine?”

David nodded solemnly,

“Yes, Mi….”

Harry raised his hand up and smiled,

“Don’t call me that.”

David simply nodded silently and Harry sighed,

“You’re not going to stop calling me that, are you?”

David remained standing in front of him with his gaze lowered,

“Right, let’s just start dinner. I’m starving.”

He took his seat at the head of the table as usual and dinner was served. Harry was still concerned about Sirius and made a mental note to talk to him later about it. His Godfather looked ragged. Well, obviously, he had been working himself to the bone. Harry felt a bit guilty about not telling everyone that Grindelwald was supposed to attack in nine months. But Harry didn’t trust the man and he didn’t want to be unprepared if the bastard attacked early. When dinner was done, Harry cleared his that. Everyone at the table went silent,

“As you may know. I’ve been summoned by the International confederation of Wizards tomorrow. They wish to know what we’ve been doing about the Grindelwald situation and even though I’m tempted to ignore their summons, I believe that we might need their help later on. So, I’ve decided that I will be going after all.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow and spoke,

“Who are you taking with you?”

Harry leaned back in his seat,

“You, The twins and David.”

Sirius scowled,

“David? But why?”

Harry didn’t understand what Sirius had against the man. Was Sirius holding his past against him? David had said that he had done things he wasn’t proud of,

“He’s an Auror now, isn’t he?”

Sirius closed his mouth and leaned back in his seat. Harry sighed,

“Seriously, Sirius. Are you mad at me?”

Harry saw Sirius’s jaw tick and spoke again,

“What have you got against David?”

Sirius rose to his feet and abruptly. Remus gripped his arm instantly and attempted to pull him back down,

“Harry, you’re being too naïve. How can you trust a man you’ve just met? He was a criminal and once a criminal, always a criminal. You’re too good and you tend to think everyone is as decent as you. Well, we’re not. We’re not decent or as noble as you.”

Sirius had tears in his eyes but the expression on his face conveyed his anger perfectly,

“Sirius, I can’t believe you just said that. David left that life. He wants a new start for himself and who am I to deny him that? Everyone deserves a second chance. Hell…they deserve all the chances they need to make themselves better.”

Sirius shook his head and his rage melted into sorrow,

“This is exactly why your heart broke, Harry.”

Harry slumped back in his seat and Remus pulled Sirius out of the hall. The twins and Bella were with him in seconds,

“Are you alright, Harry?”

Harry nodded silently and rose to his feet,

“No one here is ever going to talk about David’s past again. He’s part of the family now and I would really like it if you treat him as such.”

He stepped out of the hall and made his way to his room. Sirius hadn’t said anything wrong but Sirius didn’t understand. He had given Voldemort a chance and he had changed. Truly changed,

“Minister…”

He turned around to find David standing in the middle of the corridor,

“I wanted to apologize for the trouble I caused and I am willing to leave if you want me to.”

Harry stepped closer to him and spoke,

“You don’t have to apologize. Sirius just…he’s very protective and he considers you a threat because of your past. I’ll make sure he comes around and accepts you.”

David nodded and bowed his head. Harry spoke again,

“It’s going to be tough for you. But I don’t want you to give up and leave…It’ll get better. Things will get better. You just have to be persistent.”

David raised his head and Harry met his hazel gaze,

“Don’t leave.”

David nodded his head silently. Harry turned away from him and spoke,

“There is something I want you to do for me.”

Harry noticed the eagerness in David’s voice when he spoke,

“Yes, Minister. Anything.”

Harry smiled despite the pain in his chest,

“Call me Harry.”

He waited to hear it but he knew David wasn’t going to say it so he spoke,

“Good night, David.”

He walked away and stepped into his room. After closing the door, he slumped down to the floor. His head came to rest against the door and he drew in deep shuddering breaths. Sirius’s words had cut him deep because unintentionally Sirius had told him that he had lost Voldemort because of his own ideals. He had lost Voldemort because of himself. Harry rose to his feet and fell on the bed. He buried his face in the pillow and howled in agony. The pain was shattering his already shattered heart into a million pieces. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the pillow tight. It didn’t take him long to lose himself in the darkness of sleep.

Voldemort appeared in the bedroom and his eyes took in the sight of a fully dressed Harry, lying sprawled on the bed. He hadn’t even taken off his shoes. His gaze scanned the room and he remembered every single moment from the last time he had been here. The taste of Harry’s lips, his skin. The way he had felt in his arms, his warmth, his gentle touches. Harry’s words, the adoration in his gaze. He had lost it all, left it all. He was tempted to touch him, feel him again but no…he wouldn’t be able to stop if he gave in now. He would never be able to let Harry go if he held him again. He stepped closer to Harry and saw the way Harry’s soft features were scrunched up in pain, the tear tracks visible on his pale cheeks. He had been crying and he was going to make Black pay for that. But wasn’t he responsible for these tears as well? He leaned over and inhaled deeply. Harry’s scent stirred unwanted emotions in his heart and he wondered why he had even come here, to this room, in the first place. This was no longer his room. Harry was no longer his. He stepped away from the bed and vanished.

It didn’t take him long to situate Black and have him on the floor, his throat under his boot,

“I warned you, Dog. I bloody warned you and you disregarded it.”

The wolf was restrained against the wall and his cries were muffled due to the gag in his mouth. He raised his boot from Black’s throat, allowing him a few seconds of respite before pushing down again. He felt partially satisfied, watching the dog struggle and writhe underneath him but he needed him alive. He removed his foot and kicked him hard in the stomach. Black coughed and then rasped out,

“You…You’re a bastard.”

Voldemort smirked and crouched down,

“I never denied it.”

He let his smirk fall and grabbed Black by the jaw,

“Do you have any idea how deep your words cut Harry?”

Black’s expression grew remorseful but the rage still burned in his eyes,

“He needs to face the truth. You were, are and will always remain a monster and he needs to realize that. You can’t give him the love he deserves, the love he expects from you. I can’t believe he loves you….”

He struck Black hard across the face,

“He does not love me... It is merely a temporary attachment that he feels for me and he shall get over it.”

Black laughed hoarsely and that unsettled him,

“You’re a fool if you can’t see it. He’s killing himself for your love and you don’t even know it.”

Voldemort rose to his feet abruptly as Harry’s words from that night echoed inside his head. _I love you._ Harry didn’t. He couldn’t. He stepped back and shook his head,

“He does not.”

He didn’t like how weak he sounded. Black continued to laugh like a mad man and then he spoke,

“If you need proof just ask him to conjure a Patronus.”


	23. Chapter 23

Harry sat up straight and began buttoning up his shirt as soon as the healer was done examining him. Luna entered the room, followed by David and Remus. He hadn’t seen Sirius since dinner last night and he was really starting to wonder. Luna broke the silence and turned to the healer,

“How is he?”

The healer frowned,

“There is nothing wrong with him…”

Harry swung his legs off the bed with a sigh and was about to rise to his feet when the healer said,

“But there is nothing right with him either.”

Harry sighed in exasperation and raised himself to his feet,

“What is that supposed to mean?”

The healer met his gaze and he pursed his lips,

“Minister, you should know what I mean.”

Harry stepped away from him and felt everyone’s gaze following him. The temptation to run boiled in his chest again but he repressed it with all his strength. He threw open the wardrobe and grabbed his robes. The healer spoke again,

“You require rest in your current condition, Minister. You require peace of mind. I suggest that you take a leave of absence immediately.”

Harry laughed derisively as he put on his robes,

“A leave of absence? Do you know what’s going on out there? It’s utter mayhem and I’m responsible for handling it. I can’t just leave everything and vanish…I…I’m not him…”

Harry paused as his heart bled in his chest. He suppressed the pain and began tying his hair back. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and spoke,

“Is the baby alright?”

He observed the healer’s reaction through the mirror and smiled when he nodded,

“Good. That’s all that matters. You can leave now.”

The healer was about to say something when Luna silenced him and sent him away. She made her way towards him and rested a hand on his shoulder,

“Don’t say anything, Luna. You wanted me to see a healer, I saw one. Now you know that the baby is fine and I haven’t killed it just like the last ones.”

 Luna made him turn and struck him hard across the face. Harry’s glasses were knocked off and landed on the carpet soundlessly. He deserved that,

“Are you in your senses, Harry?”

Harry nodded and stood still,

“I haven’t said anything wrong. I killed them, Luna. You said so yourself.”

Luna cupped his cheek and spoke,

“Harry, you’re doing it again. You’re doing it all over again.”

Harry blinked back tears, closed his eyes and slumped back against the vanity,

“What am I doing, Luna?”

For a moment, Luna said nothing but then she spoke,

“You’re yearning for something that’s never going to be yours and ignoring what you have.”

A weak chuckle escaped from Harry’s lips and Luna continued,

“You lost your last child because you were too busy obsessing over Destrian, mourning his loss, wishing for his return. This time there’s no Destrian…This time you’re pining over Voldemort. He’s not going to come back. He’ll never come back. You need to accept that now before you lose this child as well.”

Tears streamed down Harry’s eyes and he bit his lower lip to keep the sounds from escaping. His grip on the vanity turned white knuckled as he willed himself to breath. Voldemort had to come back. He just had to come back. Luna’s words changed nothing. They didn’t know him like he did. They didn’t know him at all,

“You told me I had a life with him…you told me that I was bound to him…You lied, Luna… All your predictions and visions. They were all lies...”

He opened his eyes and wiped away his tears. He bent down and picked up his glasses,

“Leave me alone.”

He put them on and realized that David was standing by the doorway with Remus, his hazel eyes wide with a mixture of shock and grief. Harry smiled,

“I forgot you were here too. Sorry you had to witness this.”

Remus looked close to tears but his voice sounded composed when he spoke,

“We’re running late, Harry.”

Harry nodded. He watched as Remus left with David and realized that Luna was still there. Harry knew he should apologize and so he did,

“I’m sorry, Luna.”

Luna turned to him and spoke expressionlessly,

“Don’t apologize to me, Harry. Apologize to your child when you lose him. You’re heading there faster than you know.”

Harry stepped away from her,

“Is that another one of your visions?”

Luna smiled sadly,

“I’ll cut my eyes out the day I see something like that, Harry.”

Harry hugged her tightly,

“I’m trying…I’m trying my best…But he won’t leave my heart… he won’t leave my mind…”

Luna rubbed his back softly and whispered,

“I know, Harry. I see your suffering like no one else does and it hurts me. I just want to see you happy. This child can do that…it can bring you happiness.”

Harry exhaled slowly and spoke,

“I know…I won’t let anything happen to it…I promise, Luna. I won’t kill it.”

Luna kissed his cheek and spoke,

“Go, Harry. You’re running late.”

Harry nodded and walked out of the room.

An hour later, he was thinking why he hadn’t rejected the summons. He felt like a child seated amidst witches and wizards that looked at least as old as Dumbledore. He didn’t appreciate the condescending gazes or the looks of disapproval that he was receiving. Sirius hadn’t come. He had just sent Bella in his place. Harry really needed to do something about the Sirius situation. Bella, David and the twins were seated right behind him,

“Mr. Potter, we are so glad that you could join us today.”

Harry smiled as pleasantly as he could. He was turning into such a hypocrite,

“I’m glad to be here.”

He wasn’t. The witch continued talking,

“You are aware of why you were summoned here, today. Tell us about your progress.”

Harry leaned back in his seat and swept his gaze across the hall. All eyes were on him and he felt nervous as he recounted everything he had done in the past few days. When he was done, he noticed that several people look unimpressed.

“Your efforts are satisfactory at best, Mr. Potter. We expected more.”

Harry retorted,

“If you expected more then perhaps you should have helped me. I’ve been working day and night to bring the ministry back on track and I did not come here to allow you to undermine me.”

There were several hushed whispers and angry remarks at his lack of respect and decorum but he was done. He was done being trodden on. He wasn’t going to lay himself down and allow people to walk all over him. A wizard cleared his throat and silence descended,

“You have no one but your spouse to blame for that. Mr. Potter, you should have never sided with a monster if you wanted our support. Even now, his band of miscreants continue to back you.”

Harry watched the wizard’s gaze rest behind him, where he was sure Bella was seated. Harry shot to his feet and shouted,

“HE WAS NOT A MONSTER!!!”

Harry felt someone’s hand come to rest on his shoulder but he shrugged away from it. The silence in the hall was impeccable and Harry spoke again,

“And this band of miscreants, as you call them, is my family. They are everything to me and I shall not hear a word against them.”

Harry hands had balled into fists and he pushed them inside his robes. His blood was boiling in his veins but he knew he needed to calm down. Harry drew in a deep breath,

“Why did he abandon you?”

Harry laughed but it sounded so hollow,

“My personal life is none of your concern.”

The wizard scoffed,

“You are carrying the heir of Slytherin. That is our concern. Is it really the heir of Slytherin or does this child belong to someone else? Did you sleep with someone else, Mr. Potter? Is that why your spouse abandoned you?”

The air rushed out of Harry’s lungs and he felt weak kneed. A hand around his waist steadied him and he unconsciously slumped into the embrace, trying to calm himself down. That was a pointless allegation and they were doing this just to unnerve him. He wouldn’t be unnerved. He wouldn’t allow them to unsettle him. He straightened up and realized that David had been holding him and his hazel eyes were full of pain. He looked at the twins and Bella and noticed similar expressions on their faces. The twins and Bella mouthed their readiness to kill and Harry shook his head with a reassuring smile. He faced the hall again and spoke,

“If we are done with all the important conversations then I believe it is time for me to leave. I really can’t afford to waste any more of my precious time here. I don’t need your support. We’re doing fine without you. I’ll make sure that Grindelwald is brought back under captivity.”

The silence in the hall was shattered by a burst of raucous laughter. Harry felt a chill run down his spine at the sound. He recognized that sound.


	24. Chapter 24

It seemed Harry wasn’t the only one that knew that laugh. Harry turned around and realized that the twins had gone deathly pale. He felt his hands ball into fists. Grindelwald had nearly killed them last time. Their reaction was perfectly normal. When the curses began flying, Harry spoke,

“Bella, take the twins and leave.”

Bella scowled and spoke out,

“You are not staying here.”

Suddenly David pushed him back and Harry fell back into the chair. He straightened up and realized that David was standing in front of him with his wand out and facing Grindelwald. None of the curses were hitting Grindelwald. It seemed they were bouncing off a barrier around him.  Grindelwald looked different. He didn’t look as emaciated as he had done last time. He was dressed in a pair of black robes and didn’t look as old as he had done last time. Grindelwald was leering at David and then peered past him at Harry,

“You got yourself a bodyguard. How smart of you.”

Grindelwald’s gaze settled on something behind him and Harry realized that he was looking at the  twins. Harry watched him as he licked his lips and lost all his self control. He lunged at him but David caught him. Harry yelled out,

“Don’t you dare look at them.”

Grindelwald laughed and Harry struggled against David,

“Let go of me.”

David shook his hand and held Harry still with one arm while he kept his wand pointed at Grindelwald with the other,

“What the hell do you want?”

Grindelwald gazed around the hall with a smirk,

“I actually came here to murder you all.”

David practically growled and before Harry knew it, he was engaged in a duel with Grindelwald. He stared bewildered and mesmerized by how well David duelled. How beautifully and gracefully he moved. It seemed he and Grindelwald were evenly matched and it was a sight to behold. He gazed around and realized that he wasn’t the only one mesmerized. Every eye in the hall was fixed on David and Grindelwald. He turned around and spoke,

“Bella, please…Go”

The twins had seemed to have snapped out of their daze and smiled vindictively,

“No, Harry. We have some unsettled score with that bastard.”

And in the blink of an eye, the twins and Bella had joined David in the duel. Harry couldn’t help but feel a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn’t right. And then it happened. An arm wrapped around his throat and pulled him back. His wand was plucked from his fingers,

“Your new bodyguard is unexpectedly good but he’s not very smart.”

Harry felt a wand press into his stomach,

“Have you changed your mind, Gellert?”

Grindelwald laughed in his ear,

“No, I haven’t sweetheart. You still have nine months. Like I mentioned earlier, I came here to murder all these useless bastards.”

Harry chuckled despite himself,

“How are you going to kill them if you keep holding me?”

Grindelwald jabbed Harry’s stomach with the wand and a cry escaped Harry’s lips. The duel came to an abrupt halt as David, Bella and the twins spun around at the sound. Before Harry could shout out a warning, they were all restrained and on the floor. Grindelwald moved his wand away from his stomach and caressed his cheek with it,

“Good boy.”

Harry struggled against him but it was futile. How the hell was Grindelwald stronger than him when he looked so old?

“By the way, I loved your little speech…especially the part where you defended your lover.”

Harry was about to kick Grindelwald in the shins when he laughed and pushed Harry into the chair. Restraints appeared,

“Now watch as I murder all these people.”

Harry’s gaze was fixated on the spot where David and the others were restrained and Grindelwald….no… not Grindelwald, it was possibly one of his henchmen under the influence of Polyjuice Potion, stood over them. David’s hazel eyes were smouldering with rage and for a moment, it reminded him of Voldemort.

Grindelwald pressed his wand to his throat and yanked Harry’s head back by his hair,

“My newest recruit fancies you and I have promised to give you to him in exchange for his loyalty.”

Grindelwald released his hair and spoke,

“Keep your eyes open. If you close them, I will kill your so-called family and your shiny new bodyguard.”

Every single person in the hall was panicking, desperately trying to find a way out. But it seemed Grindelwald had prepared for that because none of their magic was working. They were going to die. He had no doubt about that and it was making him panic in an odd kind of way. He didn’t want anyone to die. He couldn’t allow it. Grindelwald laughed madly and spoke dangerously low,

“Careful, Sweetheart. Stress isn’t good for you. I certainly don’t want you to lose the heir.”

Harry struggled against the restraints,

“Stop stressing me out then!”

Grindelwald stepped in front of him and leaned forward,

“That wouldn’t be very fun.”

He conjured a flask and forced it to Harry’s lips. Harry attempted to turn his head away but Grindelwald forced his mouth and tipped the contents down his throat,

“This ought to keep you calm and your magic suppressed.”

Harry allowed his head to fall back against the back of the chair and kept his gaze fixated on David, who was continuously struggling against the restraints and shouting something in the gag. Harry couldn’t understand the desperation in David’s eyes. Was he terrified of dying or was he worried about him. He moved his gaze and fixed it on a blank stretch of wall as screams echoed through the hall. Silent tears streamed down his eyes but he couldn’t feel anything more. Whatever potion Grindelwald had forced down his throat hadn’t been a simple calming draught. He was tempted to close his eyes, he was tempted to close his ears and scream.

For Harry, it felt like a lifetime until the screams died down and a deathly silence fell. Grindelwald stepped infront of him and the sickly smell of blood filled Harry’s nostrils. He retched and Grindelwald displayed his blood covered hands,

“There is something extremely satisfying about blood.”

Harry was about to close his eyes when Grindelwald tsked,

“No, Harry. Not yet.”

Harry averted his gaze and in the blink of an eye, Grindelwald had forced a blood covered finger in his mouth. The metallic taste of blood flooded his taste buds and Harry gagged,

“Don’t throw up and don’t you dare bite me.”

Harry tried to pull his head away and Grindelwald cooed,

“Lick off the blood, Darling.”

Harry refused to. He downright refused to but then his gaze wandered to the twins, Bella and David. He sucked on the finger with revulsion and ignored the bitter metallic taste. He felt sick…too sick…Grindelwald withdrew his finger with a pleased smirk,

“Good boy.”

He caressed Harry’s cheek softly, painting his face with the blood and then vanished his restraints. He tossed his wand in Harry’s lap and spoke,

“I shall see you very soon, Sweetheart. Take care of the baby.”

And then he vanished. Harry wasn’t aware of when he had gotten up and freed David, Bella and the twins. He wasn’t aware of anything after that. All he was aware of was the lingering taste of blood on his tongue, the sick feeling in his stomach and the despair coiled tightly around his heart.  


	25. Chapter 25

Harry had no idea how he had wound up in bed but now that awareness was starting to return to him and he was beginning to regain his senses, he was determined to get up. He pushed the events of this morning to the back of his mind because he refused to be affected by them. He had lost so much time already and every second that he had wasted being weak was the second Grindelwald would have spent planning his next move.

Someone was shouting outside his room. He opened his eyes and sat up straight. He was met with the sight of Luna. She looked concerned and Harry couldn’t help but ask,

“What’s going on?”

Luna’s gaze travelled to the door but she said nothing,

“How are you, Harry?”

Harry swung his legs off the bed and rose to his feet,

“I’m bloody perfect. How long have I been out?”

Luna looked like she was about to protest but she didn’t and instead spoke,

“Two hours.”

Harry nodded and stepped to the door. He pulled it open and found Sirius and David face to face again. They both went silent as soon Harry stepped out into the corridor,

“Harry, you shouldn’t be up.”

Harry shook his head. This was hopeless. Ignoring them, he walked past them. He needed to be at the ministry now. The entire International Confederation of Wizards had been murdered. There would surely be fallout. Harry felt them hot on his heels. He paused and shouted out,

“Leave me alone and continue your bloody bickering. I’ve had just about enough of this.”

And then he was moving again. His thoughts were a jumble of emotions and feelings that he didn’t need. It was just messed up. He had expected Sirius to be more mature than this. He had expected him to understand and come around but this…this was just unreasonable.

He apparated to the ministry and stormed straight past the reporters that had been waiting for him in the Atrium. He stepped into his office and slammed the door behind him. He moved his fingers through his tangled hair and began pacing the room restlessly. He was so out of his depth. He’d thought he could do it, he’d thought he could handle all this…Stupid…He had been so wrong and so stupid to think someone as unexperienced as him could handle an entire magical country.

He needed to resign so that someone better could take his place. He had to resign so that someone more experienced could take his place. If he resigned then maybe he would find some peace. He smoothed a hand over his stomach. Maybe resigning would be the better decision for him and the baby as well.

He let his hand fall and shook his head. No, he wasn’t a quitter. He could do this. He had to prove to Voldemort that he could do this. There was a knock on the door and Harry spoke,

“Come in.”

The door opened and David stepped inside. Harry sat down behind his desk and dismissed him,

“Leave. I don’t want to see you or Sirius until you’ve settled your disputes.”

Harry focused his attention on the papers strewn across his desk when David spoke,

“Minister…”

Harry slammed his fists on the table and spoke,

“Leave.”

The door opened and closed and when Harry looked up, David was gone. He rested his head on the table and cursed. He rose to his feet and walked towards the twins’ office. He pushed open the door without knocking and found them hard at work. They looked up and stopped whatever they were doing,

“Harry, how are you?”

Harry collapsed in a chair opposite their desk and covered his face with his arm,

“I’m fine.”

Harry felt the twins get up and then felt two pairs of hands on his shoulders,

“You don’t like fine.”

Harry pulled his arm away from his face and looked up at the twins,

“I’ve been through worse.”

The twins looked concerned. Fred conjured a mirror and held it up so that Harry could see his reflection. Harry gasped. His hair was a tangled mess and his face was pale and covered in dried blood. Why had he forgotten about that? George conjured a wash cloth and a bowl of water,

“Let us clean you up.”

Harry leaned back in his seat and he felt the twins go to work. The cool, damp wash cloth felt heavenly against his face. He didn’t know how long it lasted. But it ended way too soon for his liking. Harry opened his eyes and looked at his reflection in the mirror again. The blood was gone and now his face looked just pale,

“I came here to ask you about Hogwarts’ opening.”

Fred and George shuffled some papers on the desk and then handed Harry a file.

“That has everything you’ll need to know.”

Harry opened the file and flipped through the pages,

“Next week then?”

The twins nodded together,

“Remus has dispatched the letters today. We’re hoping it will all go over smoothly.”

Harry rested his head against the back of his seat,

“I hope so.”

He didn’t sound as convinced as he wanted to be.  


	26. Chapter 26

Harry sat at the front of the Great Hall in the seat that had once been inhabited by Dumbledore. In front of him, the hall was filled with students. He hadn’t expected so many but he was glad…well somewhat glad…There were some very familiar faces in the crowd that Harry wasn’t exactly pleased to see. Ron, Hermione, Neville, Seamus, Dean… almost the entire Dumbledore’s Army had returned. He almost envied them because it seemed that their life was getting back on track while Harry felt so off balance. The feast was even grander than it had ever been. The only difference was that everyone on the teacher’s table was different. Remus sat on his right, David on his left. It had been a week. He hadn’t talked properly to David since that day. He hadn’t talked to Sirius either.

The sorting was done by the new transfiguration professor and Harry missed Professor McGonagall. He leaned back in his seat and watched the first years. They looked so happy and hopeful. Harry wished he had a fraction of their hope. Grindelwald had been haunting his dreams for a week now…he hadn’t been able to sleep without seeing that man’s face…he hadn’t been able to eat without feeling the bitter, metallic taste of blood on his tongue…he hadn’t been able to work without hearing all those heart rending screams. It was torture…absolute torture.

Remus squeezed his shoulder and Harry realized that he had zoned out,

“Harry, would you like to say something?”

Harry didn’t want to but he had to. He rose to his feet and approached the podium. He scanned the crowd and then spoke,

“Over the past few weeks, all of you have witnessed many changes in the ministry…in the way things have been running…and now in Hogwarts as well. You may not accept the changes but I expect each and every one of you to honour and respect the newly appointed staff and follow the rules and regulations of the castle as you have in the past. I know my word might not mean much to some of you but Hogwarts deserves your love and respect and only then will it love you in return. Your new headmaster, Remus Lupin will introduce the new professors and inform you of the changes that have been made this year. I hope you have a wonderful year and wish you the best of luck.”

He stepped away from the podium and retook his seat while Remus started introducing the new staff. Once the introductions were done, Remus announced that the firework display would be taking place soon and requested the prefects to accompany the students to the grounds. Harry looked questioningly at Remus and Remus smiled softly,

“It was the twins’ idea.”

Harry rose to his feet but instead of heading towards the grounds, he headed for the astronomy tower. He was glad Remus didn’t object because he needed some time alone right now. He couldn’t help but remember the time he’d watched the fireworks with Voldemort, the way their fingers had been entwined, that moment had felt perfect. He stared at the black sky and watched as colours exploded across it. Somehow, they didn’t feel that colourful or fantastic anymore. He stared down at his empty hands and collapsed on his knees. Voldemort had given him everything he had wanted, freedom, family, a home but he still felt empty handed because none of those things mattered anymore…

Tears streamed down his eyes as he stared up at the colourful display and lamented his own colourless life. He had everything and yet had nothing. This wasn’t fair…It wasn’t fair. Footsteps behind him forced him to jump to his feet and wipe away his tears hurriedly. He turned around and found David standing there with something like concern darkening his soft features and his hazel eyes. Harry turned away from him and stared at the sky again as David came to stand beside him,

“Mini…”

Harry shook his head and silenced David,

“You didn’t see anything.”

David pursed his lips and then spoke,

“Minister, maybe sharing your pain might help ease it.”

Harry laughed bitterly and wiped away the remaining tears,

“I really hate it when you call me Minister.”

David bowed his head,

“Will you talk if I fulfil your request, Minister?”

Harry turned and met David’s gaze,

“Really? You’re that desperate to talk to me?”

David nodded hesitantly and Harry smiled,

“I wish Sirius was just as eager to talk to me…It’s like he isn’t my Godfather anymore….I need him the most now and he’s not…he’s not here for me. Anyways, fulfil my request.”

Harry bent over the railing and stared down at the grounds,

“Harry…”

Harry’s smile widened. His name sounded good coming from David’s lips. It had a sense of familiarity…a sense of closeness…

“How difficult was that, David?”

David hesitated before replying,

“Very difficult.”

Harry laughed and turned to face David,

“Well, you’ll get used to it.”

His gaze was drawn back down to the grounds where the students were gathered,

“Do you think it’ll be easier for everyone if I jump from this tower right now?”

Harry felt fingers wrap around his forearm and yank him away from the railing. But it wasn’t the move that shocked him, it was what the touch did to him. Every nerve in his body was singing with satisfaction as David held him. A sense of completeness overwhelmed him. He looked into David’s hazel eyes and David instantly released him,

“I’m sorry.”

Harry took a step away from him but didn’t know what to say. David spoke,

“I shouldn’t have…it wasn’t my place to…”

Harry raised a hand,

“If there had been Remus or the Twins or even Bella in your place, they would have done the same.”

David had his gaze lowered and said nothing,

“I wasn’t really going to jump though. It was just a thought. I gave up on suicide the first time I attempted it.”

Harry turned his back to David and unconsciously rubbed the wrist where he had slashed it,

“I smashed the mirror and slashed my wrist with it. I wanted to get away from Voldemort and death seemed like the only escape.”

He exhaled and allowed a few fresh tears to stream down his cheeks,

“I realize now how useless that was. There’s no escape for me…he freed me but I still trapped. Does that make sense, David?”

He turned to face David and saw David’s pained expression,

“I guess you wish I wasn’t talking to you now.”

He focused back on the sky and watched the firework display with David in an uneasy silence.


	27. Chapter 27

Harry couldn’t sleep at all...he tossed and turned in bed and all the castle’s efforts to soothe him to sleep were failing miserably. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he had felt when David had gripped his arm. It had been odd…he couldn’t quite understand why he had felt the way he did. A nagging sensation at the back of his mind was trying to tell him something. His heart was restless in his chest and he just wanted to rip it out at the moment.

Without sparing a thought, Harry rose up to his feet and apparated. It took him a minute to make his way through the graveyard and throw himself at the foot of Destrian’s grave. He rested his cheek against the cool marble of the headstone and closed his eyes,

“Help me, Destrian.”

The cool night air ruffled his hair and soothed him to some extent. He breathed…actually breathed. He felt suffocated in the castle these days…It didn’t take long for sleep to claim him.

Voldemort silently appeared in the bedroom, expecting to find Harry asleep but the bed was empty and the sheets were ruffled. It didn’t take him long to surmise that Harry wasn’t in the room. He had an inkling to where Harry must be but a sliver of doubt and fear crawled into his mind. What if Harry acted on his suicidal impulses? His conversation with him from earlier bothered him. Why wasn’t Harry happy? He was perturbed by what he had felt when he had dragged him away from the railing. It was obvious that Harry had felt something too. What if Harry found out? No, it simply couldn’t happen again.

He apparated and sure enough found Harry curled up against Destrian’s grave. His moans were the only sounds in the otherwise silent graveyard…Another nightmare…Harry was having another nightmare. He had been having them every night for a week and all he could do was stand there and watch him suffer. Once upon a time he had enjoyed it when Harry had screamed in his sleep now Harry’s screams only served to torture him. He had thought about slipping Harry potions for dreamless sleep but had struck down the idea every time because he was certain Harry would suspect it. He settled down on the ground and tried to make sense of Harry’s actions and behaviours. A fresh wave of guilt overwhelmed him. Harry had everything he had ever wanted but he looked tormented…he was tormented. Had he really damaged him that much? Had he permanently taken away Harry’s joy, his optimism, his hope? Had he broken him? He had wanted to. He recalled the time when he had hated Harry’s hope and sought to snatch it from him. Had he managed to do it in the end? He covered his mouth with his hand as a cry escaped his lips. An endless stream of tears slipped down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop them.

The morning light shining directly on Harry awakened him and he sat up straight,

“Good morning, Destrian.”

He pressed a kiss to the headstone and rose to his feet. While he was dusting off his robes, Harry wondered if everyone at the castle would be freaking out at his absence. He apparated and appeared in his room. Sure enough, he was grabbed into a bone crushing hug by the twins,

“Where the hell were you? Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?”

Harry smiled to the best of his abilities and scanned the room. He found Sirius standing silently in the corner of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. Bella, David and Remus stood right behind the twins wearing equally concerned expressions. Remus stepped forward and the twins finally released him. He cupped his cheek and his expression darkened further,

“Why are you so freezing cold?”

Harry would tell them where he had been but they would probably think that he was insane so he couldn’t tell them anything,

“I’m fine.”

Remus took his hands and started rubbing them to warm them up,

“Harry, no, you’re not fine. Stop saying that.”

Harry had no idea what to say to convince them,

“I couldn’t sleep so I went out for a walk.”

Remus raised an eyebrow,

“You were walking all night? Where did you go?”

Harry sighed and pulled away from Remus,

“I need space, Remus. Please.”

Sirius finally growled out,

“You need space? How much space do you need, Harry? I don’t understand why you’re not happy. You have everything you’ve always wanted.”

 Harry levelled Sirius with a blank stare and spoke,

“Everything I’ve always wanted?”

Harry laughed bitterly. Remus rested his hand on his shoulder and Harry shrugged away from his touch,

“Let’s talk about what I want and what I don’t want then. I don’t want to be the bloody minister for magic. I don’t want all this…I just wanted a family. I love you all but this is becoming too much. I can’t breathe…You’re all suffocating me…I want to be left alone…I just want to be left alone.”

Harry collapsed on his knees and howled out in agony. Remus was about to lurch forward when Harry raised a hand,

“No, Remus.”

He covered his mouth with his hand and muffled another cry and as tears made his way down his cheeks,

“I don’t understand why you hate me now, Sirius.”

Sirius stepped closer to him and grabbed his shoulders. Harry attempted to pull himself away when Sirius held him tight. Harry buried his face in Sirius’s shoulder and cried his heart out,

“I don’t hate you, Harry. I can never hate you. I just don’t want you to get hurt. David…”

Harry instantly pulled away,

“I can’t believe it…You’re still trying to get me to fire him…”

Sirius moved closer to him and Harry inched back,

“No…”

Sirius sighed,                                

“He failed to protect you. He just laid there uselessly and watched while Grindelwald tortured you.”

Harry closed his eyes and crawled back,

“That’s your standard for deciding who can protect me and who can’t.”

His back hit the wall and Harry pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them,

“What did you do to protect me when Voldemort tortured me? What did you do when he forced that ring on my finger and I begged you…I begged you to save me, Sirius. What were you doing?”

Sirius said nothing and Harry laughed,

“You were watching, Sirius. You were watching it all happen because that’s all you could do at the moment. Sometimes circumstances don’t allow retaliation…You should understand that better than anyone.”

Harry opened his eyes and met Sirius’s gaze,

“Sirius, I want my Godfather back…”

He clasped his hands together in front of Sirius and pleaded,

“I need my Godfather back. Give him back to me…Please...”

Sirius held his clasped hands and kissed them,

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry…”

Sirius pulled Harry to his chest and rubbed his back as Harry cried uncontrollably,

“I’m here…Your Godfather is here and he will never leave you alone.”


	28. Chapter 28

Nine Months Later

Sirius jiggled and rocked the wailing, screaming baby in his arms in a panicked way. Luna wasn't sure who was more fractious, him or the baby. With eyes brimmed with tears and a quivering lip he was utterly out of his depth. She went forwards and offered to take the baby, but he shook his head abruptly. The baby began flailing his tiny arms and legs faster, grasping at the air with increased speed, his shrill cries were only broken by his gasping for breaths in-between. His face was blotched and his little mouth stretched wide. Luna smiled softly at Sirius in her soothing way and held out her arms. He handed over the baby and sank to the floor, hiding his face. Luna held the baby close, bobbing and swaying to unheard music, humming a lullaby, quite composed, quite serene but it did nothing to soothe the baby.

Harry hadn’t woken up yet and he was still being examined by a healer. These past nine months had been pure torment for him and it was nothing short of a miracle that he had lived and managed to keep the baby as well. She cradled the wailing baby in her arms and looked down at him. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet so she wasn’t sure if they would be emerald green or dark brown. At this point, the baby looked like any other new-born. His skin was pink and his face was currently red with all the effort he was putting into crying. The mop of raven black hair on his head wasn’t a very distinctive quality because Harry and Voldemort both had black hair. She wasn’t sure who the baby would resemble. The twins walked into the room and grimaced,

“He still hasn’t stopped crying?”

Luna continued to rock the baby but it wasn’t working. They had tried feeding him but that hadn’t worked as well. It was as if the baby refused to be soothed,

“Why aren’t you with Harry?”

The twins stepped closer and Fred softly poked the baby with his finger. Luna slapped his hand,

“Stop that.”

Fred smiled guiltily,

“Sorry. The healer left. Bella is watching over Harry.”

Luna held the flailing baby to her chest,

“What did the healer say?”

George looked down at his shoes and Fred spoke,

“He said that Harry’s fine but he needs time to recuperate. It’s going to be a couple of hours before he wakes up.”

Luna nodded as relief flooded her chest. She looked down at the small screaming bundle in her arms and pursed her lips. She had a feeling the baby needed his parents and he wasn’t going to stop until he had them. They hadn’t informed Voldemort which according to her was unfair. This baby belonged to Voldemort as much as it belonged to Harry. She looked at the twins and spoke,

“Inform him.”

Sirius immediately rose to his feet,

“No, don’t.”

The twins looked between Sirius and Luna and then at the baby,

“We think he needs him.”

Sirius dropped back to his knees and spoke,

“Fine. Call him.”

The twins disappeared from the room and appeared fifteen minutes later with a furious Voldemort. He had shed his David disguise today and looked absolutely impeccable. He was dressed in black robes and his sharp features and brown eyes displayed his rage perfectly. He didn’t have his silky black locks tied back and they cascaded down his shoulders till his waist and merged in with his robes,

“How is Harry?”

Luna watched as Voldemort’s gaze settled on the wailing baby in her arms and she watched the way his rage melted. He instantly stepped past the twins and looked down at the baby with absolute wonder. The twins replied,

“He’s fine but he’s sleeping.”

 He looked up and met her gaze and she noticed how they were glimmering with tears. She held the baby towards him and he took it in his arms extremely carefully. The baby stopped crying instantly. Voldemort was staring down at the baby with extreme pride and enormous fascination,

“It’s a boy.”

Voldemort kissed the baby’s forehead softly cradled him close to his chest. Luna saw the tears streaming down his cheeks as he rocked the now silent baby,

“He hasn’t opened his eyes yet.”

Voldemort looked up at Luna and then spoke,

“I hope he has Harry’s eyes and his looks.”

Luna frowned,

“Don’t you want him to resemble you?”

Voldemort closed his eyes and shook his head as tears continued to fall down his cheeks,

“I do not wish for him to look like me…a monster…”

Luna stepped closer and wiped away his tears,

“Harry told me that he wanted the baby to look like you.”

Voldemort smiled ruefully,

“Harry doesn’t understand anything.”

Luna shook her head,

“It’s been nine months and he has longed for you every single minute of every single hour of every single day.”

Voldemort cradled the baby and pressed another kiss to his head,

“This little bundle of joy is going to change everything.”

Luna smiled softly. The baby was extremely calm now and it seemed he had fallen asleep,

“Have you fed him?”

Luna shook her head,

“We tried. He was just too restless.”

Voldemort sat down in an armchair and carefully settled the baby on his arm. He conjured a small feeder filled with milk and held it to the baby’s mouth cautiously. The baby instantly began suckling on the nipple,

“When was he born?”

Luna took a seat opposite him and watched as the baby fed hungrily,

“An hour ago.”

Voldemort pulled away the feeder so that the baby could breathe for a minute but the baby instantly started writhing and looked ready enough to start crying again. He chuckled softly and replaced the feeder close to his mouth again,

“Is he healthy?”

Luna frowned,

“Yes, perfectly healthy. He weighs seven pounds which is absolutely extraordinary considering how weak Harry’s grown.”

Voldemort stroked the baby’s hair and pulled away the feeder. This time the baby didn’t writhe. It seemed he’d had his fill. Voldemort held him close to his chest and cradled him so that he could fall asleep and it seemed the baby did. Voldemort pressed a kiss to the baby’s head and just held him in his arms as he slept,

“I need to check on Harry.”

Sirius sat up straight,

“He’s resting. You can’t go to his room…especially when you look like yourself.”

Luna watched as Voldemort and Sirius glared daggers at each other,

“At least stop this for today.”

Voldemort focused his attention back on the sleeping baby in his arms and stared at him in disbelief,

“What will you name him?”

Voldemort looked up at Luna’s question and spoke,

“That is Harry’s right. It is Harry’s right to make all the decisions regarding him.”

Luna smiled ruefully,

“Can’t you return to him?”

Voldemort turned his gaze back to the baby,

“No…Harry is better off without me.”


	29. Chapter 29

Voldemort cradled the tiny bundle in his arms. He couldn’t believe it…couldn’t believe that this was his heir…his son. Joy was overwhelming his heart. No, joy was too small a word for what he was feeling. He didn’t know how long he sat there and just stared at him…his son…he had a son now…He was a bit worried though. The baby should have opened his eyes by now. It had been hours since he had born. Why hadn’t he? Luna came to stand in front of him and cleared her throat,

“Harry is waking up now.”

He didn’t want to let go of him and felt a twinge of possessives in his chest but he held the baby out and Luna carefully took him in his arms,

“How is he?”

Luna smiled,

“He’s doing fine.”

Her smile turned into a grimace when the baby slowly started kicking its legs again and its wails started anew,

“He was so quite in your arms. I should feel offended.”

Voldemort rose to his feet and gently placed his hand on the baby’s cheek. The baby quieted down instantly,

“It’s going to be alright, Son. You’re going to meet someone very special now.”

As soon as he removed his hand, they baby started crying again. Luna sighed and started making her way out of the room. It didn’t take him more than a minute to get into his David disguise and follow after her. As soon as he stepped into the bedroom, his gaze focused on Harry, who had his eyes closed and looked uncharacteristically pale and weak. Sirius was sitting by his side on the bed and smoothing his long raven black locks that were spread on the pillow around his head like a dark halo. The crying of the baby caused a visible difference in Harry.

Harry was awake…had been awake for a while now but just didn’t have the strength to open his eyes. Nine months…Nine months of pain and hurt, longing and desire, hate and love were now over. He had survived. He had lived through it all and kept the baby alive as well. It was a boy by what Sirius had said. He had been listening to Sirius talk nonstop about the baby for the past two hours but oddly enough Harry didn’t feel like it was his son that Sirius was talking about. Harry wanted to cry now…wanted to let out all the pain and the hurt that he had been keeping under wraps, all the tears that he had been holding inside. Harry didn’t feel any emotional connection to the child and that bothered him…it bothered him a lot. Sirius had said that the baby had been crying ever since he was born. It had been hours. Harry thought that was an over exaggeration on Sirius’s part but the sound of the baby’s wailing forced him to open his eyes. He sat up a little too suddenly and a cry escaped his lips as excruciating pain shot through him. Sirius was holding him in an embrace in an instant and rubbing his back,

“Take it easy, Harry. You need to take it slow.”

Sirius propped some pillows to support him and continued to soothe him. When the pain receded, Luna stepped closer and gently placed the baby in his lap. Harry’s eyelids fluttered close with the strength of the magic that coursed through him at the first physical contact. The connection was strong…too strong and Harry struggled to hold himself together as he felt it bind him. It felt as if something was squeezing his heart inside his chest and stealing away all the air. It felt as if something was sucking the very soul out of him. It was painful but he couldn’t even scream. It stopped as abruptly as it had started and Harry felt himself collapse back against the pillows.

He was distantly aware of shouting but the baby wasn’t crying anymore. He felt Sirius holding him, urging him to breathe and he wondered why he was saying that. His oxygen starved lungs screamed and Harry realized why. He drew in several deep gulps of air greedily and when his breathing had returned to normal, he opened his eyes. The baby was still in his lap and it looked the very definition of normal but it wasn’t…Harry knew that now…His son was not a normal baby. The magic he had just experienced hadn’t been normal. This was Voldemort’s son…the heir of Slytherin…Of course he was supposed to be extraordinarily strong. Harry mentally slapped himself for expecting anything normal from his life. He lifted the baby in his arms and just looked at him. His puffy pink face, his button nose, his round head, the mop of black hair on his head, his tiny arms and legs. He looked so peaceful and something about the sight of him filled him up with happiness.

Harry balanced him on his arm and kissed his forehead. The baby made a wet adorable sound and Harry kissed him again. When he pulled away, he realized that the baby’s eyes were open and they were a deep shade of crimson. He gasped and closed his eyes. Sirius had an arm wrapped around his shoulder but Harry knew he was as shocked as he was,

“Tell me you’re seeing what I’m seeing, Sirius.”

Sirius didn’t speak for a while. Harry cradled the baby closer to his chest and pressed another kiss to his head. When Sirius did speak, his voice sounded extremely hoarse,

“Yes, Harry. Your son has red eyes.”

Harry laughed breathlessly and pulled the baby away from his chest to look at him again. He was beautiful. The eyes were breathtakingly gorgeous…better than anything he had hoped for… better than anything he had wished for,

“I love them. I love him.”

He brought his finger close to the baby’s hand and the baby instantly wrapped its tiny fingers around it in a tight grasp,

“Have you thought of a name, Harry?”

It was Luna that had asked the question. Harry smiled down at the baby who was looking up at him with wide innocent eyes,

“There was only ever meant to be one name for him.”

He bent over and kissed him on the cheek,

“Destrian V Potter.”

The baby made another sound and Harry hugged him close to his chest,

“Welcome back to this world, Destrian. I won’t let you leave me again.”


	30. Chapter 30

After the baby was fed and peacefully asleep in Harry’s arm, Harry couldn’t help but think about Grindelwald’s threat. It had been nine months. His time was up. He didn’t want to be afraid but he was. He was afraid for Destrian’s life. Grindelwald had made his intentions absolutely clear in Nurmengard. He hadn’t seen the man in nine months but he was certain that he would be seeing him very soon. Even if the Grindelwald threat was neutralized, the future terrified him. Having a son was a huge responsibility and it was weighing heavily on his shoulders. He held the baby to his chest and kissed his head,

“I wish you had ordinary parents that lived an ordinary life. You deserved so much better than what you got.”

David spoke softly,

“I think he is very fortunate to have you as a parent.”

Harry had completely forgotten about his presence. Sirius had ordered that he wasn’t supposed to be left alone in the room and it was David’s turn to stay with him. He met his hazel gaze and spoke,

“No, he’s not. Destrian is anything but fortunate. He seems to have inherited my luck…”

Harry paused and then spoke,

“No, not just my luck. His parents’ luck. Everyone Voldemort and I ever needed always ended up leaving us alone and it’s the same with Destrian. I needed Voldemort and he left me alone. Now Destrian needs him and he’s nowhere in sight.”

Harry’s eyes filled up with tears and he kissed Destrian’s head again. His voice wavered as he spoke,

“They say he’s a prince but he’s nothing more than the unfortunate son of unfortunate parents.”

Harry felt the mattress dip as David sat down on the edge of the bed,

“Harry…You really should not cry…especially not around the baby.”

Harry laughed bitterly,

“Why not? Destrian is a part of me. I think he feels my pain and I think he can be the only one that can ever understand it. This pain is part of us both and it’ll stay with us for the rest of our lives.”

Harry paused and wiped away a tear before another fresh stream ran down his cheeks,

“When he’s all grown up or at least old enough to notice that other children have two parents while he only has one, he’ll come and ask me. He’ll ask me about his other parent. He’ll ask me where he is and I won’t have an answer for him. He’ll ask him about the V in his name and I’ll tell him all the good things about Voldemort. When he grows a little older, he’ll hear stories from other people…stories about how cruel Voldemort was. He’ll find out everything about how Voldemort abandoned me and him…the events that lead to that and he’ll feel conflicted. He won’t know what to believe…He’ll grow up wondering why his father ever left him and I won’t be able to make it any better for him. No matter, how good I am at parenting, I’m doomed to fail. Destrian will grow up with bitterness and resentment no matter how hard I try to sweeten his life up. He will always want answers. He will always want Voldemort. This world might accept him outwardly but inwardly they’ll all despise him because in the end they won’t see that he’s my son. They’ll see that he’s Voldemort’s son. They won’t see how beautiful his eyes are because they’ll be too busy comparing him to Voldemort and trying to see a murderer in them.”

Harry broke out into sobs and clutched the baby like his life depended on it,

“I wish he weren’t born.”

David’s fingers brushed away the tears from Harry’s cheeks and he spoke softly,

“He was destined to be a part of your life and you are destined to be happy with him.”

Harry looked down at the baby in his arms and spoke,

“I don’t want a destiny that doesn’t include Voldemort.”

David pulled away his hand and spoke,

“Why would you want to live with a monster, Harry? As far as I’ve heard, he ruined your life and destroyed you. Why do you want him?”

Harry leaned back against the headboard and settled the baby in his arms more comfortably,

“You’re right. He tortured me, raped me, showed me what hell on earth was and made me live through it. I hated him for it. I hated him a lot until I saw that other side of him. The gentle one, the caring one, the human one and I wanted to give him a chance. I had nothing to lose. He had already taken away everything from me…I wasn’t hopeful that it would work. I didn’t think my affection would melt him but I guess it did because he changed. No one got to see that side of him…no one but me. That last night we were together, I told him I loved him. I shouldn’t have…”

 David was silent for a while before he asked,

“Why shouldn’t you have said that?”

Destrian’s eyelids fluttered open revealing his beautiful crimson irises and he yawned adorably. Harry rested a finger on his tiny mouth to cover it and spoke,

“My little prince is awake.”

The baby continued to look up at him sleepily for a while before his gaze wandered around the room and came to rest on David and began to kick its legs restlessly. Harry picked him up from his lap and cradled him close to his chest,

“What’s wrong, Baby?”

Destrian wasn’t crying but he was restless and Harry wondered what was bothering him. He kissed his head and rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him but the baby continued to squirm in his arms. David opened his arms and Harry laughed softly,

“He’ll start wailing like a banshee.”

David didn’t back off and Harry gave in and offered him a restless Destrian. He went still instantly and Harry frowned in confusion,

“He’s been crying in everyone’s lap. I think he likes you.”

David rocked the baby gently and Harry watched the way he looked at him with complete adoration,

“You did not answer my question, Harry.”

Harry looked up and met David’s gaze,

“What question?”

David kissed Destrian’s forehead and spoke,

“Never mind.”

Harry settled back against the headboard and spoke,

“I’ve heard that you are the best Defence against the Dark Arts teacher Hogwarts has ever had. Remus had nothing but good things to say about you and he showed me all the letters from satisfied parents that have come in since the year ended. I wanted to ask you something.”

David’s hazel gaze was fixed on Destrian and he spoke without looking away,

“Ask away.”

Harry stared up at the ceiling,

“You’re not planning on leaving, are you?”

Harry felt David’s gaze focus on him but he continued to look at the ceiling,

“Leaving?”

Harry nodded at the ceiling,

“Yeah, The DADA post is jinxed. You do know that, right? No teacher has been able to stay on for more than a year ever since Voldemort was rejected for the post.”

Harry looked at David and saw a warm smile on his lips,

“I am very content with the post and I do not plan on leaving.”

Harry smiled as well and looked down at Destrian, who had fallen asleep again in David’s lap. David rose to his feet and carefully placed Destrian’s sleeping form back into Harry’s lap. Harry spoke softly,

“Thank you for listening to all my babbling and not judging me.”

David smiled again and Harry spoke,

“I really mean it. If I said these things to Sirius or anyone else, they wouldn’t let me breathe on my own.”

David bent down and kissed Destrian’s forehead,

“There is no need to thank me. I am glad that I can be of some service to you.”

Harry pulled Destrian to his chest and watched the twins step into the room as David left. Something inside Harry had been content in David’s company and now…now that something was beginning to ache. He hitched up a smile for the twins and soon enough found himself engaged in a conversation with them.


	31. Chapter 31

Harry was standing in front of the mirror, freshly showered and dressed. He had his gaze fixed on Destrian, who was laying on the bed, trussed up in a small blue blanket, through the mirror as he tied up his mid-back length hair and pulled on a pair of black robes. He looked grown up. It was odd that he wasn't even seventeen yet but he felt like he was much older, he looked like he was much older.

He turned around and leaned back against the dressing table as he watched Destrian trying to kick his way out of the blanket. His birthday was coming up…but he couldn't just think of it as his birthday anymore…it was his wedding anniversary…it was their wedding anniversary. Harry couldn't help but rub the permanent burn spot on his finger where the ring had been. He was still bonded to Voldemort, which meant that they were still married. He was still his spouse. Destrian had managed to kick off the blanket and Harry smiled. He definitely had his stubbornness.

He went over to the back, wrapped the blanket around Destrian again and picked him up carefully. Destrian's crimson gaze was fixed on him,

"You have to stay at home today while I go and get some work done."

He pressed a kiss to Destrian's forehead and carried him out of the room. He found Luna in her room that somehow resembled some outwardly place because various trinkets and artefacts were placed and hung on every possible surface. Luna sat cross legged on a floor cushion with her eyes closed and Harry tread lightly because he knew that she was meditating and he didn't one to startle her But Destrian had other plans. He made a sound that closely resembled a wail and Luna's eyes flew open. Harry shook his head but he couldn't help but smile,

"Sorry, Luna."

It took a moment for Luna's eyes to focus and when they did, she smiled condescendingly,

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed, Harry?"

Harry moved his fingers through his hair,

"I have to go to the ministry."

Luna looked at Destrian,

"And you want me to babysit him?"

Harry laughed softly,

"Well he is a baby and I do want you to sit with him."

Luna crossed her arms over her chest,

"He's only a little angel in your arms. Watch what happens when I hold him."

Luna took Destrian in her arms and the change was instantaneous because the quaint room was not so quaint anymore as Destrian's wails filled the space. For a moment, they went silent and Harry thought that Destrian had adjusted but when he looked, he realized that Destrian was holding his breath and his face had gone red. Harry instantly took him back in his arms, cradled him close to his chest and soothed him,

"It's alright, Destrian. I've got you."

He checked on Destrian again and relaxed when he saw that he was breathing normally again and his crimson eyes were focused on him. Harry sighed and kissed his nose,

"You're not going to leave me alone then?"

Destrian made a wet sound and Harry took that as a yes. Luna bent down, kissed him on the cheek as well and spoke,

"Maybe he's afraid that you'll leave him too."

Harry looked up and met Luna's gaze,

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Luna smiled sadly,

"Exactly what it sounds like."

Harry shook his head,

"I won't leave him. He's my life. Voldemort might not care enough about him to come back but I am going to be the best parent I can be."

He turned his back to Luna and Luna asked,

"Are you going back to your room?"

Harry shook his head,

"No, I'm going to the ministry."

Luna spoke softly,

"What about Destrian?"

Harry started walking away,

"He's coming with me."

He didn't listen to Luna's protests and kept walking. He wasn't sure if it was safe for him to apparate with Destrian. He would have to ask Remus or David about that. Right now, the Floo Network would have to do. He had just reached the fireplace in the library when Sirius apparated infront of him,

"Where do you think you're going?"

Harry met his gaze and spoke,

"Ministry."

Sirius sighed and leaned against the fireplace,

"You can't take Destrian to the ministry."

Harry raised a questioning eyebrow,

"Why not?"

Sirius tugged at his curls in frustration,

"Because Grindelwald is still out there and if you take him to the ministry he'll find out about him and he will attempt to use this against you."

Harry rocked Destrian in a soothing pattern and spoke,

"Everyone already knows and Grindelwald knows too. I'm just going to make it very clear today that I will not allow anyone to hurt him."

Sirius stepped closer to him and held his shoulders,

"That is terrible parenting, Harry."

Harry laughed,

"You are the last person that should be saying that to me."

Sirius looked down at Destrian and pleaded,

"Harry, you have to be cautious…for his sake if not for your own. You can't play this game…not when your son needs you more than anything or anyone else right now."

Destrian had fallen asleep and he was the quintessence of peace,

"I have to play this game and beat Grindelwald at it."

Sirius kissed Harry's temple,

"What if you lose?"

Harry closed his eyes,

"If I die, Destrian will still have you all to look after him. Who knows…maybe my death is the wakeup call Voldemort needs to return. In any case…Destrian will be safe and no harm will ever befall him."

Harry felt Sirius's warm tears against his skin,

"You have no idea of what I'm going through right now, Harry."

Harry opened his eyes, looked down at Destrian's sleeping form and spoke,

"I know exactly what you feel…fear, pain, uncertainty and love. But this needs to end now. Grindelwald needs to be apprehended."

Sirius cupped his cheek,

"You're my son just as Destrian is yours. You may have the courage to withstand all those feelings but I'm not as brave as you. I can't…I can't let you risk yourself."

Harry smiled softly,

"It's going to be fine. I'm doing this because I want a future with Destrian. I want the joy, sorrow and everything in between with him. But more than that, this isn't just about us anymore. It's about everyone. The people are tired of living in fear and I'm the only one that can put a stop to it."

Sirius pulled away from him,

"Why is it always you?"

Harry laughed softly,

"I'm the Chosen One, remember?"


	32. Chapter 32

The cameras flashed all around him as Harry stood in the Atrium. Destrian was restlessly kicking in the blanket and Harry held him close to his chest. Several questions were thrown his way and Harry started by stating the obvious,

"This is my son, Destrian V Potter. He was born this morning and I wished to introduce him to all of you."

Harry ignored the questions about Destrian's legitimacy and about Voldemort's whereabouts. Harry couldn't understand why the reporters assumed that he knew where Voldemort was. If he knew where he was, he wouldn't be here either and be with him instead. Sirius wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and spoke coldly,

"Destrian V Potter is the legitimate Heir of Slytherin. We shall not tolerate any frivolous statements regarding his status."

Destrian was getting more restless and Sirius seemed to realize that because he said,

"I think that we have had enough introductions for one day."

He was leading Harry away from the crowd when the cameras started flashing again and several shouts echoed through the Atrium demanding the same thing. Harry turned around, carefully pulled Destrian away from his chest and held him out in his arms so that the reporters had a good look at him. Gasps were followed by more flashes. Destrian closed his eyes and his features scrunched up. Harry pulled him back to his chest and spoke,

"Thank you. That is all."

Sirius led him inside the elevators and when the grills are closed. Harry slumped back against the wall and closed his eyes. Sirius pulled him closer. Harry leaned against him and spoke,

"They treated him like he was an animal in a zoo."

Sirius bent down and kissed Destrian's head,

"I am not going to allow anyone to treat my grandson with anything less than respect."

Harry laughed softly,

"You're a grandfather now. That makes you an old man."

Sirius rubbed Harry's back,

"I might be an old man but you're still young. You aren't even seventeen yet and you're the father of a child. Do you really expect to live the rest of your life all alone?"

Harry pulled away from Sirius as the elevator doors opened,

"What is that supposed to mean? I'm not alone. I have Destrian and all of you."

He started walking towards his office and Sirius followed him,

"Harry, people your age aren't even considered adults. They live care free and have fun. You are burdened with so many responsibilities, I think that you don't even remember how to have fun."

Harry pushed open the door to his office and spoke,

"Fun? Really, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded as Harry conjured a cot for Destrian and set him down in it. The sight of Destrian in a cot did something to him but he willed himself to calm down. Harry wasn't going to let him out of his sight. This wasn't going to be like last time. He would make sure of it. Destrian was asleep and Harry kissed his head. Sirius held his hands in his,

"All I'm saying is that you need to move on. Find someone new, someone dependable that you can spend the rest of your life with."

Harry snatched his hands away like he had been burned,

"No, Sirius…No…"

Sirius sighed,

"Harry, just listen to me."

Harry stepped away and spoke,

"No, Sirius. This is not debateable because I am still married to him…"

Sirius took a step closer to him,

"Harry…this is not a marriage. Marriage is all about companionship, love and care. He severed all ties with you when he left you."

Harry leaned against the desk and crossed his arms over his chest,

"You don't understand the nature of my bond with him. You can never understand it. Nothing about my life is normal then why should my marriage be normal?"

Sirius cupped his cheeks,

"Harry, I just want to see you happy."

Harry stepped away from Sirius,

"I am happy just the way I am."

He sat down in his seat and pulled the stack of mail towards himself. Sirius stood there for a while and then spoke on his way out,

"Dinner at Hogwarts tonight. Remus wants to see Destrian."

Harry nodded in acknowledgement and Sirius left. Harry leaned back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling,

"What am I going to do, Destrian?"

Destrian was smiling in his sleep. Harry kissed his cheek,

"You're optimistic so that means I should be optimistic too."

He pulled the stack of files towards himself and began studying them. A knock on the door interrupted him,

"Come in."

David stepped in and Harry saw how his soft features softened further at the sight of the cot and his hazel eyes lightened up with joy. David walked in and placed a file on the table,

"This needs your immediate approval."

Harry opened the file and began reading through it,

"So, no progress on the missing persons then?"

David was standing by Destrian's cot now and watching him sleep. He looked up and shook his head apologetically,

"None so far."

Harry read through the file in silence and then signed it. He slid it back and David stepped away from the cot slowly. He picked it up and spoke,

"Can I say something?"

Harry looked up and met David's eyes,

"Sure."

David's gaze moved back to the cot,

"It's not safe for him here."

Harry opened the file he had been studying before and spoke,

"I won't let anything happen to him."

David spoke softly and left.

"I shall see you tonight then."

Harry spent the next few hours attending meetings, feeding and taking care of Destrian and visiting the various departments to ensure that he was up to speed with everything that was happening. He was happy with everyone's performance. The missing persons case was the only issue that troubled him along with Grindelwald's threat. It was nearly midnight when Sirius dragged him out of the office,

"Come on, Harry. Dinner was supposed to be two hours ago. Everyone is waiting for you."

The hall was packed at Hogwarts with Death Eaters and Allies. Harry was instantly pulled into a hug as soon as he entered the hall. The warmth told him that it was Remus,

"Harry…"

Remus pulled him away and eyed the bundle in his arms,

"Let's have a look at our little prince."

Harry offered Destrian to Remus. He hoped Destrian liked Remus better than he liked other people. Remus looked down at the baby and his smile widened,

"He is beautiful."

He took Destrian in his arms and instantly Destrian started wailing. Harry smiled apologetically before taking him back in his arms and soothing him. Remus patted him on the shoulder and stepped away. Sanguini was the next to greet him and just like Remus, he attempted to take Destrian and failed. Sanguini conjured a tiny silver crown encrusted with diamonds and emeralds and placed it over Destrian's head. Harry protested,

"There wasn't any need for this. He's just a baby."

Sanguini smiled warmly and cupped Harry's cheeks,

"He's not just a baby. He's a prince and the crown will always fit him. No matter how much he grows."

Destrian was moving his head and Harry knew he was trying to get rid of the crown,

"Thank you so much."

Sanguini hugged him gently and pressed a kiss on Destrian's forehead before stepping back. Harry was led to the front of the hall and Remus made him sit down in the headmaster's chair,

"You're the guest of honour today."

Destrian was the center of attention as everyone lined up to catch a glimpse of him. There was nothing but love and affection in everyone's eyes and Harry couldn't help but think if he had been wrong when he had thought that people wouldn't accept Destrian. But these weren't people, this was his family, Destrian's family, of course they would love him. It seemed nearly everyone had gotten a present for Destrian and by the time dinner was served, there was a huge pile of them on the table.

Dinner was a quick affair since no one was interested in the food and everyone was interested in the baby. The hall was buzzing with happiness. In fact, the entire castle seemed happy. Harry decided it was a good occasion to make an announcement. He had thought about it a lot over the past nine months and it hadn't been a difficult decision to make.

Harry rose to his feet and silence fell in the hall,

"I'm so grateful for your love and affection. All these presents…they weren't needed…Your love and support is all I'll ever need. I think this is the perfect moment to announce Destrian's Godparents."

Harry paused and the anticipation in the room was off the charts,

"I've selected Fred and George Weasley as Destrian's Godfathers and Luna Lovegood as his Godmother. Should anything ever happen to me, I know that they'll take care of my son but I'm also certain that each and every one of you will cherish him as well."

The excitement in the room instantly turned into something that resembled concern. Remus stepped closer to him,

"Nothing is going to happen to you. We won't allow it."

Harry smiled softly,

"Of course. I have so many people who love me and care about me."


	33. Chapter 33

Harry entered his room and found the stack of all the presents he had received today right beside the bed. He laid Destrian on the bed and pulled off his robes and grabbed a T-shirt and pyjama bottoms from the wardrobe. Once he was changed. He tugged on the band that tied his hair back and pulled them free. Running his fingers over his scalp, he came and sat down on the bed beside Destrian. Destrian was awake and his crimson eyes were surveying the room before coming to settle over him. He raised his tiny arm and Harry offered him his finger to grab onto but Destrian ignored it and gripped a lock of his hair. Harry couldn't help but laugh at that. Destrian tugged at it hard and Harry winced,

"You really are your father's son."

He pulled him up into his lap and allowed Destrian to tug and pull at his hair. The pain he felt in his scalp was nothing compared to what he felt inside. Everything inside him was screaming with longing and pain. He wanted Voldemort back…needed him. He didn't know when he had started crying but as soon as he realized it, he wiped away his tears and looked down at Destrian who had let go of his hair and was attracted by the flamboyantly wrapped presents. Harry settled back on the bed and laid Destrian by his side,

"So, you want to see what's in them?"

Harry picked up the top one and unwrapped it. The box contained a beautiful gold rattle. The handle was moulded in the form of the snake and embellished with tiny emeralds that glinted beautifully. Harry shook it and it produced an oddly mesmerizing sound. He set it beside Destrian and continued unwrapping the other presents until he reached the end of the stack. He picked up the last present which was a fairly large box wrapped up in gold paper and looked for a nametag since all the other presents had had one. It didn't have one so Harry just tore away the wrapper and opened the box. He bit down on his knuckle to stop the scream that left his lips as he dropped the box on the floor.

He looked at Destrian who was making wet sounds and looking at the ceiling. He was here…Destrian was here…he was fine. His entire body was trembling uncontrollably and he still had his teeth sunk into his knuckles because he didn't trust himself not to scream again. Regulating his breathing and calming himself down was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He was crying and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. He looked at Destrian again and wanted to pick him up but he was still trembling uncontrollably and he was afraid he'd drop him. Harry slid down to the floor from the bed and squeezed his eyes shut as he knelt beside the box.

Harry could feel the sweat drench his skin, the throbbing of his own eyes, the ringing wails vibrating in his ears, and the thumping of his heart against his chest. He removed his hand from his mouth and his fingers instantly curled into a fist, nails digging into his palm. He couldn't hear his rapid breathing, but he could feel the oxygen flooding in and out of his lungs. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes to look at the contents of the box. He clamped his hand over his mouth again as another cry escaped his lips. The baby that lay in the white silk lined box was an exact replica of Destrian except for the eyes. The unseeing eyes that stared up at him were a light shade of brown. Harry kept his eyes forced open as he took in the sight before him. He was dead. The child was dead but he didn't look dead. He hadn't been dead for long judging by the freshness of the blood and the pallor of his skin. The only thing that shattered the illusion that the child was alive was a cut that extended across the child's throat from ear to ear and his tiny body was covered in crimson liquid. The blood had also seeped into the white silk lining and stained it.

Harry's eyes forced themselves shut and fear tortured his guts, churning his stomach in tense cramps. It engulfed his conscience, knocking all other thoughts aside. It overwhelmed his body, making it drastically exhausted. Harry didn't want to think about the meaning of the sight in front of him. He was well aware of who the sender was and what this was supposed to imply.

Harry forced himself to his feet, tied his hair back with trembling hands and pulled on a robe. He needed to do something about this before someone found out. He forced himself to look at the dead child again and drew in several breaths to calm himself but it wasn't working. This was someone's son. This had been someone's life. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks and clouded his vision. Sobs raked his body and his body continued to tremble. He dropped down on his knees beside the box again and closed the baby's eyes with a shaking hand.

Harry felt conflicted. He didn't know what to do so he cleaned away the blood with a wave of his wand and very carefully pulled the baby out of the box. He was cold and extremely lifeless and it made a shiver run down Harry's body. It took him all his restraint not to drop him. He conjured a black sheet, laid the baby down over it and wrapped it around him as gently as possible. A glance at Destrian told him that he was getting restless. Harry picked him up carefully and rocked him to his chest as best he could. Destrian's warmth helped calm the storm inside him and his tiny heartbeat against his chest provided him with the courage he needed. He conjured a carry cot and set it down on the bed. He kissed Destrian's forehead and laid him down in it,

"I won't let anything happen to you, baby…I won't…"

Harry kissed Destrian's head and balanced the black bundle on his one arm while he picked up the carry cot in the other. He knew what he was going to do and he apparated.

Harry appeared in the cemetery and made his way through the graves as quickly as possible. He set the carry cot besides Destrian's grave…it sounded so wrong but he kissed Destrian's forehead and whispered,

"Destrian meet Destrian."

There was a substantial amount of free space next to Destrian's grave and it didn't take him long to prepare a grave with his wand just like he'd seen Voldemort do. He pulled the black sheet away from the baby's face and pressed a kiss to his cold forehead as fresh tears streamed down his eyes. His heart screamed in his chest and he dropped to his knees,

"I don't know who you are, what your name is, who your parents were…I don't…I'm sorry…You didn't deserve this…"

Harry hugged the bundle to his chest and a cry escaped his lips as the pain grew intolerable. He crafted a tiny black coffin with his wand and laid the baby down in it. It took him all his strength to put the lid on the coffin and seal it,

"I'm sorry…this isn't my right…but…I don't know what else to do."

He placed the coffin in the grave he'd dug and conjured a shovel. He shoveled the dirt back inside the grave, tremors still raking his body, half blinded by his own tears. Once the grave was filled to the top. Harry dropped to his knees and conjured a marble headstone similar to Destrian's but the angel was crafted a bit different. He didn't know what to carve on it so he left it blank and crawled to Destrian. He was asleep now and Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek. He rested his head against the cool marble headstone of Destrian's grave and pulled the carry cot closer to himself. His hands were covered in dirt and it took him all his strength to keep himself upright and quiet. Every nerve in his body was on fire. His heart was in a vice and the grief was suffocating him.

He kept his gaze fixed on the cot…on Destrian…and kept reassuring himself that everything was alright. But it wasn't working because he knew that everything was not alright. The storm was upon him and it was going to take all of his strength to endure it and survive.

Willing himself to get up, he pressed a kiss to Destrian's headstone and picked up the carry cot. With one last look at the two graves, Harry closed his eyes and disapparated.


	34. Chapter 34

Harry placed the carry cot on the bed, discarded his robes and untied his hair. He couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard he tried...he just couldn't stop. His hands were still covered in dirt and he was trembling uncontrollably. A knock on the door startled him and he could feel himself panicking. He tried to bring himself under control but it didn't work. Another knock and Harry just wished whoever it was would just go away. That didn't happen. The door opened and Harry closed his eyes and collapsed on his knees,

"Harry!"

It was David's voice. He felt him crouch down beside him and felt his hand on his shoulder,

"Harry, are you alright?"

Harry's only reply was a broken sob. David sounded terrified when he spoke,

"Is…Is Destrian alright?"

Harry felt David's hand fall away from his shoulder and heard him get up. The rest of his strength drained away from him and he slumped down on the carpet on his side. Destrian didn't cry in David's arms. David would take care of Destrian.

He felt David crouch down beside him again and opened his eyes. Destrian was in his arms…asleep and peaceful. Harry looked up at David and saw concern darkening his features,

"What happened to you, Harry?"

Harry willed himself to talk and noticed how hoarse he sounded,

"Promise me something."

David's hazel eyes widened with apprehension,

"This is not the time for…"

Harry reached forward and held his wrist,

"This is the perfect time."

David looked like he wanted to argue but he kept his mouth and shut and Harry continued,

"Promise me you'll take care of my baby…he's my life…promise me you'll take care of him."

David knelt closer to him. His hazel eyes displayed his confusion perfectly,

"Why?... Why now?"

Harry closed his eyes,

"Just promise me."

He waited to hear David's words and when they came, they filled him up with infinite peace,

"I promise."

A fresh stream of tears slid down his temples as Harry curled up on the carpet,

"What happened, Harry? Are you hurt? Please… you have to tell me."

Harry shook his head and spoke,

"I'm fine…Thank you for the promise…"

Harry didn't know when the darkness consumed him and he passed out.

Voldemort knew the exact moment Harry passed out because his body stopped trembling and his tears stopped flowing. He rose to his feet, laid Destrian's sleeping form on the bed and then returned to Harry's side. He pulled his limp form into his arms and held onto him tight. He couldn't fathom what could have happened. His body was freezing cold. He took Harry's hands to warm them and noticed the dirt on them. Had Harry been to the cemetery? Even if he had been, he couldn't understand why he had been so broken. After running a quick diagnostic on him and feeling satisfied with the results, he picked him up in his arms. Harry was nearly weightless.

He laid him down on the bed and while he was pulling the covers over him, he noticed the blood stained white silk lining of the box. It made him freeze and he picked it up. What was Harry hiding? Whose blood was this? He ran quick scan and came to the conclusion that it wasn't Harry's. His gaze drifted to Destrian but Destrian was fine as well. So where had this blood came from?

He sat down beside him and combed his fingers through Harry's long raven strands as he wiped away the tears with the other. He wondered why Harry hadn't gotten them cut. He had specifically wanted his hair short. His gaze went back to the box. The torn wrapping paper and empty boxes that littered the floor indicated that Harry had been unwrapping presents. It took a second for the dots to connect but he was still unable to determine what this box had contained. A wave of fear swept through him as he realized that someone had managed to infiltrate Hogwarts to get this box to Harry…or maybe…The other possibility was far too horrendous. What if someone had placed this box here in this room for Harry to find. This was Grindelwald's doing. He was sure of that.

Destrian started kicking in his blankets and looked ready enough to cry. He picked him up before he could and cradled him close to his chest,

"You need to let your father rest, Love."

He kissed his head and balanced him on his arm as he conjured a feeder. Destrian's innocent crimson gaze was focused on him as he fed him. Why…Why didn't Destrian have Harry's eyes? Harry had been right when he had said. Destrian was his son and his son alone. He had no right over the child in his arms. Once again, he couldn't help but feel disturbed by Harry's actions. Why had he made him promise to take care of Destrian? What had happened that had caused Harry to demand a promise? He kissed Destrian's head,

"I wish you could tell me what happened."

Destrian caught a hold of one his locks and pulled on it. He smiled down at him and spoke softly,

"Are you avenging your father, Love?"

Destrian only pulled harder and he leaned down and kissed his nose. Harry shifted in his sleep and a low groan escaped his lips. He rocked Destrian in his arms as he rose to his feet and saw an expression of utmost pain on Harry's face. He cast a quick sound barrier around Destrian and the room…just as Harry's body arched off the bed and he screamed. He could only watch as Harry clawed at the covers and his body spasmed while his screams permeated the air. He pulled out his wand and tried every spell he knew in an attempt to put him back to sleep or wake him up. But it was as if Harry was surrounded by some barrier that deflected all his spells and stopped them from reaching him.

He held on tight to Destrian's tiny form and kept him close to his chest because he didn't want him to see what he was seeing. There was a time when he had enjoyed this…savoured it…but now… his heart screamed in tandem with Harry's. Watching Harry in pain was tearing his soul asunder and he yearned to make it better. He had to do something…anything to stop this…but he was powerless…most of his magical strength had left him when he had reclaimed his soul. For him, it lasted for an eternity until it was over and Harry went still and silent once more.


	35. Chapter 35

Harry sat in his chair in his office and watched David cradle Destrian in his arms and soothe him to sleep. His nightmares had become a permanent fixture and Harry didn't trust himself with Destrian at night…or day for that matter. He felt ingratiated to David, who had kept his nightmares secret and returned every night to take care of Destrian and checked up on him during the day as well. Harry stifled a yawn and a wave of terror crept up his spine. He didn't want to sleep. He had to fight it. The nightmares Grindelwald had been sending him mostly contained images of Destrian's death, his blood, his lifeless crimson eyes.

He was perfectly aware of his appearance. Shadows darkened his eyes, he looked pale and unhealthy. Sirius and the others are noticed but Harry had waved them off as Destrian being restless at night and not getting any sleep due to that. He jumped as David's voice filtered through his senses,

"You need to sleep."

Harry shook his head and tried to focus on the file in front of him but he couldn't quite read the words as they seemed to dance in front of his vision. David spoke again,

"Harry, avoiding sleep is not a permanent solution to your nightmares."

Harry didn't reply. He knew what the permanent solution was. The nightmares would only end if they caught Grindelwald or Grindelwald caught him. David laid Destrian down in the bassinet and stepped closer to him,

"You know you can share anything with me. I will not divulge anything you tell me to anyone."

Harry met David's hazel gaze and nodded his head. David passed him a concerned look as he left his office. He had a meeting in ten minutes and he had no idea how he was going to attend it. He could barely keep his eyes open. Nevertheless, he forced himself to his feet, cast a glamour on himself, transferred Destrian to a carry cot and made his way to the meeting.

The meeting went on for more than an hour and proved to be a welcome distraction. Harry found himself alert and a little better. At the end of the meeting, Sirius approached Harry and after kissing Destrian spoke softly,

"Dinner is at Hogwarts tonight."

Harry was gathering his notes and nodded his head,

"Okay."

Sirius pulled the notes away from his hands, cupped his face and made him face him,

"What's going on, Harry? You barely talk to anyone these days."

Harry smiled as best as he could,

"That's because I talk to Destrian now."

A smile finally lit up Sirius's concerned features and he kissed his forehead,

"You need to smile more. It makes you look good."

Harry widened his smile and Sirius stepped away from him,

"See you in a bit."

Harry nodded and picked up the carry cot. He returned to his office where the Head Goblin was already waiting. His meeting with him took most of the evening and when the Head goblin left his office, obviously pleased, Harry breathed out a sigh of relief, let his glamour fall and took Destrian in his arms. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut and twisted his nerves as he conjured Destrian's feeder and began feeding him.

As soon as he had vanished the feeder and laid Destrian back in the carry cot, it happened. Harry's knees gave way and he collapsed on the floor. His body was trembling uncontrollably and it took him a few minutes to gather himself and pull himself back to his feet with the support of the desk. He swiped his hand over his forehead and felt the cold sweat that had gathered there. Something was wrong…something was terribly wrong.

Once he was sure that he wouldn't fall again, he picked up the carry cot and made his way out of his office. The feeling in his gut wouldn't fade away and he couldn't ignore it. He went straight to the Auror Department. Everyone had left but he knew David would be present in his office. David rose from his seat immediately at the sight of him. Harry placed the carry cot on the table,

"Can you look after Destrian tonight and take him somewhere away from Hogwarts and the castle?"

David raised an eyebrow and Harry spoke,

"Just for tonight. I promise I won't bother you again."

A shadow of doubt and concern flickered to life on David's face,

"Has something happened?"

Harry shook his head. Nothing had happened and he hoped it stayed that way but if something did happen then he didn't want to take any chances,

"No, just please do me this one last favour."

David picked up Destrian from the carry cot and spoke,

"Harry, of course I will look after him. But you need to tell me what is going on,"

Harry leaned over Destrian and kissed his head,

"Nothing is going on. I'm just being paranoid. Please look after him."

David held Destrian to his chest and spoke,

"I will, Harry. You need to relax."

Harry nodded and looked down at Destrian's sleeping form,

"I'll see you tomorrow, baby."

He kissed Destrian's cheek and with one final glance at him walked away. The feeling in his gut subsided but didn't vanish completely. He apparated to Hogwarts and froze as he was greeted with heavy silence and bitter cold. He wrapped his arms around himself as his feet led him to the great hall. He pulled out his wand and touched the closed doors. The doors swung open with a creek and Harry was greeted with a blast of icy wind. He looked up and knew that he had been caught.


	36. Chapter 36

Harry summoned every good memory he had, which were most of Destrian's now, and conjured a Patronus. The basilisk wrapped around him and cocooned him in a blanket of warmth. Harry stepped into the hall and in between the swarm of dementors. The dementors started to scatter, making a way for him as he walked straight through the hall towards the front. His heart was beating out of his chest and he was reminded of the day he had surrendered and had been presented to Voldemort. He had been scared for himself then but today…today he was scared for Remus and the others. The front of the hall finally came into view and Harry came to a halt.

The first thing that caught Harry's attention was the huge metal cage that enclosed, Sirius, Remus, Bella, Luna and the twins. He tried to calm his heart down and tried to keep his emotions at bay. They were shouting but Harry couldn't hear what they were saying. The sound of raucous laughter brought Harry's attention to the throne and the figure seated on it. Grindelwald looked younger and he was no longer weak or emaciated. His hair was white blond and his eyes were different colours, one black and one white. He also had a thin white moustache and was dressed in a pair of navy blue robes. An expression of mock disappointment crossed his features and he spoke,

"I was looking forwards to seeing your son. But it seems you didn't bring him alone."

Harry reminded himself that Grindelwald was insane and one wrong move would cost him the lives of everyone he loved,

"I liked your present and I'd like to thank you for it."

A wide smirk crossed Grindelwald's lips and he rose to his feet,

"Oh really? That's absolutely wonderful. I have another one for you tonight. After all, it's your birthday."

Harry mentally slapped himself. Of course, it was his birthday. How had he forgotten it? He had remembered it a few days back. Grindelwald must have read the surprise on his face because he chuckled and spoke,

"You didn't remember, did you?"

Harry shook his head. Terror was gnawing at his insides. What if Grindelwald hurt Sirius and the others. The image of the dead baby flashed in front of his eyes and it took him all his strength not to come apart right there and then. He had to be strong. Destrian was safe with David and now he had to make sure that Sirius and the others were safe too,

"Come closer, Harry."

Harry didn't want to but he stepped closer and Grindelwald was right infront of him in the blink of an eye,

"Ready for your present?"

Harry met Grindelwald's gaze,

"Can I pick my present?"

For a moment, it looked like Grindelwald was going to say no but then a truly malevolent smile crossed his features and he spoke,

"You may."

Harry's gaze wandered to the cage and Grindelwald grabbed his chin and made him face him,

"You want their freedom?"

Harry nodded and Grindelwald laughed. He felt a sinking sensation in his heart. Grindelwald wasn't going to let them go. He was a bit surprised when Grindelwald spoke,

"You may have it on one condition."

Grindelwald released his chin and spoke in a low whisper,

"Give me yourself."

Harry's grip grew white knuckled on his wand and he had to focus all his energy on maintaining the Patronus. He knew this day was going to come then why was he so afraid? He was glad Destrian wasn't here. There wasn't anything he could lose in this bargain,

"You have me."

Grindelwald laughed maniacally and spoke,

"Give me your wand."

Harry eyed the cage,

"My present first."

Grindelwald flicked his wand and the cage was unlocked. Harry unwrapped the Patronus from around himself and was instantly greeted with the biting cold that began to seep into his bones. He maneuvered the Patronus to wrap around Sirius and the others. Harry ignored their protests and spoke loud enough so that they could hear him,

"I'm going to be fine as long as all of you are fine."

He had survived each and every one of Voldemort's transgressions when he hadn't had a reason to live. But now he had Destrian. He had to live for him. He wouldn't let his son grow up an orphan…never. Once they had departed and Harry was sure they were going to be safe, he held out his wand and Grindelwald took it away. He knew this was nothing but power play. Grindelwald could have easily disarmed him but he had wanted him to handover his freedom willingly. Harry wondered if Voldemort still had his phoenix feather wand. He could only watch as Grindelwald snapped it in half in front of him and dropped the fragments.

Harry took a step back as Grindelwald started pacing restlessly and spoke,

"Albus devoted his entire life to this worthless place and this is where your husband killed him."

Harry shivered and resisted the urge to wrap his arms around himself,

"He always had his own version of the greater good. I wish he had supported me. We could have been great together. He would have been alive."

Harry could hear the grief in Grindelwald's voice and it began to make sense. Grindelwald's obsession with him made sense,

"Did you…Were you in love with him?"

Grindelwald whipped around and his fingers were wrapped around his throat. Harry stood still or as still as he could as Grindelwald's fingers tightened and suffocated him,

"Yes…Yes I loved him…And you…You and your husband took him from me."

Harry closed his eyes as his lungs starved for air. Grindelwald's fingers loosened and Harry drew in several deep breaths as he rubbed his neck and coughed. Grindelwald snatched away his hand and held it in a bone shattering hold,

"No…You are not going to die that easily. I am going to kill you every single day and your husband will watch. Hopefully it will be enough to pull him out of whatever hole he's hiding in. I am going to torment you and him until you'll both wish you never killed my Albus."

Harry's hand was beginning to ache like hell but he tried to keep his face as passive as possible,

"He was a monster and so are you."

Grindelwald released his hand and laughed,

"What do you have to say about your husband?"

Harry closed his eyes,

"He was a monster."

Grindelwald grabbed his hair,

"And what about your son?"

Harry didn't open his eyes,

"He isn't a part of this."

Grindelwald tightened his hold and spoke,

"He is your Achilles' heel and I intend to exploit him fully."

Harry's eyes snapped open,

"You'll never find him."

Grindelwald smirked,

"Is that a challenge?"


	37. Chapter 37

arry was forced down into a chair and watched as Grindelwald returned to his throne. He couldn't understand what Grindelwald planned to do to him. The uncertainty was unsettling him more than the knowledge of the forthcoming pain. The chill in the hall had seeped deep into his bones and settled in his soul. He couldn't help but ask,

"What…"

He couldn't finish his sentence though as Grindelwald burst into a fit of laughter and then asked the question for him,

"What am I going to do to you?"

Harry folded his hands in his lap and nodded his head. Grindelwald leaned forward and snapped his fingers with a Cheshire grin lighting up his face. A gasp escaped Harry's lips as he watched glistening, greyish, slimy-looking and scabbed hands wrap around his wrists. A cry escaped his lips as he felt another one wrap around his throat and yank his head back. Harry resisted as best as he could but his head was forced back. He squeezed his eyes shut and the hand around his throat tightened. It drew a long, slow, rattling breath, as it sucked all his happiness…his hope from him. Harry was drowning in cold. There was a rushing in his ears as though of water. He was being dragged downwards, the roaring growing louder. And then, from far away, he heard screaming, terrible, terrified wailing and crying. A baby…Destrian… He tried to move his arms, but couldn't. A thick white fog was swirling around him, inside him. It was as though freezing water was rising in his chest, cutting at his insides. Destrian…Destrian needed him…He had to…He had to…The sound of his own screams filled his ears and then he knew no more.

The first thing that registered when he came back to his senses was the cold, hard stone floor. He opened his eyes and saw an expanse of grey stone wall and the distinct carvings on it…His name and Voldemort's…He was in Nurmengard...Harry exhaled and shivered. He wrapped his arms around himself and curled up into the ball. The dementors were close by. Harry felt extremely sick and nauseated. He tried to get up but he had no strength. Harry closed his eyes as Grindelwald's voice echoed in the cell,

"It's so good to see you finally awake."

Harry remained as still as possible and prepared himself for more pain. He wasn't afraid. There was hardly any torture that Voldemort hadn't inflicted on him. Grindelwald merely laughed and continued to talk,

"You will remain Minister for Magic. You will continue to perform your day to day duties at the ministry and you shall spend your nights here or in the bed of a very loyal follower of mine. You were promised as a reward for his loyalty and that moment has finally arrived."

A shudder and a fresh wave of terror ran through Harry's body at that statement but he willed himself to remain silent. He couldn't stop his body from jerking as he felt a finger trace his spine,

"How responsive…"

Harry balled his hands into fists. The finger disappeared and Harry allowed himself to relax,

"Are you afraid, Harry?"

Harry shook his head and Grindelwald laughed,

"Very good…you are going to prove to be very entertaining."

Harry kept his eyes squeezed shut. Trying hard not to be affected by the Grindelwald's words,

"Go to sleep, Harry. You have a very busy day ahead of you."

Harry waited for Grindelwald to leave before he allowed a broken sob escaped his lips…Relax…He forced himself to relax and banished the fear from his mind. He rose to his feet on shaking legs and collapsed on the wire framed bed. He couldn't understand what Grindelwald wanted…what he hoped to achieve by sending him to the ministry every day. Would Sirius and the others still be there? Harry hoped that they disappeared…Harry hoped that David had received the news and stay hidden with Destrian. He collapsed back on the bed and stared up at the stone ceiling. He couldn't subdue the fear crawling into his chest and coiling around his around heart. He hoped…he hoped with all his heart that Voldemort would come back and save him.

Tears streamed down his eyes and a broken sob escaped his lips. His heart ached for Voldemort to hold him…he yearned to have Destrian in his arms…Would Destrian be crying? Could he sense his distress? He trusted David but would David be able to take care of Destrian? If he died, would David keep Destrian? Would Voldemort come out of hiding and claim him? He closed his eyes and an image of him wrapped up in Voldemort's arm as he held Destrian, invaded his visions. Harry practically felt how that one image thawed his soul and spread warmth through his body. A smile curved his lips and he grabbed onto that image as tightly as he could.

Everything was going to be alright. It would all be okay. Nothing would break him…He would live…live to turn that image into a reality...live for Destrian and Voldemort…he would live for his family.


	38. Chapter 38

He rocked a very restless Destrian in his arms as he paced the room furiously. The news had reached him a few minutes ago. It had taken him all his self-control to stop himself from rushing to Hogwarts and doing something reckless. Had Harry known that this was going to be happen? Was he alright? He didn't want to imagine all the horrendous things Grindelwald could do to him but they still made it to his mind and caused him to pace faster. Destrian started to wail and he had to stop,

"I am truly sorry, baby."

Destrian stopped wailing and peered up at him with those innocent crimson eyes. He sat down and pulled him close to his chest,

"Do not fret. I shall bring Harry back no matter what it takes."

He closed his eyes. He was going to bring Harry back. Destrian needed his father and he…he needed him…his spouse…But Destrian's safety came first in whatever plan he came up with. He leaned back against the headboard and rocked Destrian to sleep. Harry could be hurt right now…he could be in pain and something about that made his insides squirm and tormented his soul. All the tortures that he had inflicted on Harry swam in front of his vision and he shuddered with self-loathing. He had save him. He had to save Harry no matter what.

Harry hadn't slept a wink. He had stared at the ceiling all night, memorized all its cracks and faults and thought about what was going to happen to him. He had missed Destrian heartbreakingly way too much and had yearned to have him in his arms, close to his chest. But he had supressed it all. Missing Destrian would not get him anywhere. The cell door opened with a rusty creak but Harry kept his gaze focused on the ceiling. Harry felt Grindelwald sit down on the bed and finally moved his gaze away from the ceiling. He wasn't feeling afraid. Infact he wasn't feeling anything at the moment. Grindelwald had a wide grin plastered on his face and spoke,

"You didn't sleep, did you?"

Harry sat up straight and shook his head silently. What was the point in lying? Grindelwald leaned forward and cupped his cheek. It took all his self-restraint not to flinch away from the touch,

"You don't talk too much. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were defying me and I would punish you for it. But my follower informs me that you are rather quiet and reserved."

That was another thing Harry had thought a lot on. Grindewald's loyal follower,

"What else has your follower told you about me?"

Grindelwald's smirk grew,

"He has nothing but nice things to say about you."

Harry managed a smile,

"How kind of him."

Grindelwald laughed and grabbed his hair,

"Yes, he's very kind indeed. I have given him my word that I shall not harm your pretty face or your flawless body since he so desires them. But there are other ways I can hurt you."

Harry's eyes watered as Grindelwald yanked roughly and Harry felt a few strands part from his scalp. He kept his hands at his sides. Trying to resist would only prolong this. Grindelwald released his hair and wiped away the water from his eyes,

"I am not a cruel man, Harry. If we had met under normal circumstances, I might have even liked you but you…you are bonded to the man that took away my love and that is unforgivable. He will burn in the fire that is scorching me every day when he sees the torments I inflict upon you."

Harry remained silent and Grindelwald snapped his fingers. A silver ring encrusted with sapphires and aquamarines appeared in his hand and he grabbed his hand. Harry tried to yank it out of his grip when he realized what Grindelwald was about to do but Grindelwald merely laughed and spoke,

"I'm not marrying you, Harry. The bond that you share with your lover cannot be severed or overthrown. This is merely for appearances and it shall help me keep you in line while in public."

Harry knew his confusion was evident on his face. Grindelwald merely smirked,

"You will see."

He slipped the ring on his finger and as it adjusted, it hid the burn mark from view completely. Pain seared through his body better than a branding iron, his mind conceded to the torment, unable to bring a thought to completion. Without meaning to his body curled into something fetal, something primeval and all the while the pain burned and radiated. He was distantly aware of his own screams and Grindelwald's vice like hold on his hand.

Harry had no idea how long the pain lasted, how long he screamed but when the pain subsided and Harry was able to focus on his surroundings a bit, he realized that Grindelwald was still holding his hand and he was curled up on the bed. It took him all his strength to raise himself back into a sitting position. Grindelwald stroked the back of his hand with his thumb and Harry shuddered,

"This is not a wedding ring but the world will believe that it is…It is your job to make them believe."

Harry was still feeling a bit rattled from the pain and spoke,

"I don't understand."

Grindelwald released his hand,

"You are going to act as my consort at the ministry today and in the days to come. If you do not then I shall ensure that each and every person you care about shall pay for it."

Harry stared at the ring on the finger, at the scintillating jewels…No wasn't an option and there was no point in resisting because it was going to be meaningless. Harry hoped that Sirius and the others are gone into hiding like David and Destrian. But what if they hadn't? He'd had enough practice playing the happily married couple with Voldemort and if that role was going to save everyone he cared about then he would play it again,

"Okay."

Puzzlement clouded Grindelwald's face,

"I expected more forbearance from you. In fact, I was looking forwards to breaking you."

Harry smiled sadly,

"You can't break someone that's already broken."


	39. Chapter 39

Harry stood in the Atrium on a raised platform that had been constructed beside the fountain of magical brethren. Grindelwald stood by his side and announced his conquest of Magical Britain and his plans to bring the entire muggle world under magical rule. Harry tuned him out. He wasn't expected to talk so there was no point in paying attention. Harry ran his thumb over the ring for the umpteenth time and felt disappointment in his chest when he realized it was still there. His gaze scanned the sea of reporters and photographer crowded around the platform but there wasn't single familiar face. When the announcement was done and over with. Grindelwald allowed the reporters to ask questions and Harry's heart sank because he knew what they were all itching to ask him,

"Minister, have you really married Mr. Grindelwald?"

Harry drew in a silent breath, hitched up a smile and spoke,

"Yes, I have."

Harry tried not to ball up his hands as the next question was asked,

"What about your son, Minister? Where is he?"

Destrian…Harry wondered again where he was and whether David was taking proper care of him or not. He shook away the thoughts and tried to come up with a response but Grindelwald beat him to it,

"My step son was kidnapped by the deviants and I shall ensure that he is returned safe and sound to my spouse."

Step son. Hilarious. Harry could only nod his head in agreement while he hoped that Grindelwald never got a hold of him,

"What compelled to you to marry Mr. Grindelwald?"

Harry wanted to deny it right there and then but decided against it and wrapped an arm around Grindelwald's waist,

"Power, of course. It was an easy decision when Gellert propositioned me. He is going to rule the world someday and I will rule by his side."

Harry internally cringed at how convincing he had sounded. The press conference ended and Harry pulled away his arm hurriedly and breathed out a sigh of relief as soon as the reporters had cleared away. Grindelwald took his hand and kissed his knuckles,

"You were better than I imagined you'd be."

Harry stood still and tried to pull away his hand,

"Did you play pretend with Voldemort as well? I am beginning to wonder if he is truly your spouse."

Harry looked up and met Grindelwald's gaze,

"He is."

Grindelwald grinned and released his hand,

"He won't be for long. I intend to kill him as soon as I get my hands on him."

Harry turned away and started walking to his office. Grindelwald wouldn't find Voldemort or Destrian. He was certain of it. Once he was seated behind his desk, he relaxed for a while and was glad that Grindelwald hadn't followed him. Grindelwald had said that he would be performing his day to day duties like any normal day. He was aware of the dementor that stood guard outside his office. That perpetual chill never let him forget. He had just opened a file to study when a knock on the door made him look up,

"Come in."

The door opened and Fred stepped in. Harry bit back a groan. Why hadn't they left last night? He tried to act as normal as possible and asked,

"Is something wrong?"

Fred was staring at him dazedly and shook his head silently as he placed a file on the table,

"No, you wanted a progress report for the curriculum change for Hogwarts yesterday."

Harry picked up the file. He had asked for it because some major changes had been suggested but now Harry wondered if Grindelwald would allow him to implement them. He looked up and noticed that Fred was scrutinizing him. Harry was certain he was looking for signs of abuse, indications that he might have been tortured. Grindelwald hadn't really tortured or abused him but that could tonight when he would meet the loyal follower he had been promised to. His stomach twisted into knots and he spoke,

"Thanks, Fred. Is that meeting with Sanguini and his delegation still scheduled?"

Fred nodded and Harry thanked him and watched him leave his office. He gazed down at the ring on his finger. What was he going to do? How was he going to get out of this?

The day passed in a haze and the meeting with Sanguini went as well as he had imagined. At the start of the meeting, Sanguini had grabbed his hand under the table and Harry had seen the sorrow in his eyes throughout the meeting. He knew the truth…he had found it out from that touch. At the end of the meeting Sanguini rose to his feet and Harry rose as well. Harry shivered when he felt the dementor's presence at his back. Sanguini glowered at it and patted him on the cheek,

"Everything's going to be alright."

Harry leaned into Sanguini's touch and hoped it would be,

"Everything already is."

Sanguini swept out of the room and Harry walked through the corridors towards the Auror's office. He stopped at the threshold when he spotted Sirius at his desk, his eyes swollen, his face pale, his expression grief stricken. Harry was about to turn around when Sirius spoke,

"Harry, did you want something?"

Before Harry knew it, Sirius was standing in front of him. Harry watched as his gaze found the dementor lurking behind him. Harry shook his head at Sirius and smiled,

"No, I just wanted to know about how far we'd gotten on the missing person cases."

Sirius barked out an order at a nearby Auror and led Harry to his desk,

"Sit, Harry."

Harry sat down and watched as Sirius scanned him from head to toe and saw his gaze fixate on the ring on his finger while he talked about the progress. Their gaze met and Sirius silently inquired about his health. Harry tried to assure him with his eyes but Sirius seemed inconsolable. Harry didn't miss the concern in his eyes even when he had to return to his office.

Harry found Grindelwald in his seat upon his return with a grin plastered on his face,

"Ready to go?"

Harry nodded silently and closed his eyes. His heart was hammering in his chest and he couldn't control how absolutely terrified he was. The feeling of side along apparition only worsened his fear and when he opened his eyes, he found himself in a lavishly decorated bedroom. The king-sized bed was draped with Royal blue silk covers, matching drapes hung over the wall and concealed a window from view. Grindelwald vanished and Harry started to panic. He turned around and checked the door. It was locked...No…No…No… Harry pulled away the drapes and checked the window. It was barred and he couldn't see past the dark glass. He checked the other two doors in the room. One of which presumably lead to the bathroom and the other was for the wardrobe. They were both locked. There was no escape. Harry paced the room furiously. He couldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let this happen. His mind conjured up all kinds of things that could happen to him…would happen to him and he found himself hyperventilating. He couldn't breathe as the fear choked him. Harry slumped to his knees on the carpet and attempted to calm himself down.

The door opened and Harry kept his eyes firmly closed as he tried to regain his composure,

"Relax, Harry. I'm not going to hurt you."

His eyes flew open as he immediately recognized the voice and looked up.


	40. Chapter 40

Harry found himself unable to speak and could only manage to rasp out,

"Draco…"

He remembered their last encounter all too vividly and he knew Draco remembered it just as well. The door was slammed shut and the unmistakable click was proof that it was locked. Draco knelt down in front of him and raised his hand to touch him when Harry flinched back. Draco laughed softly and his grey eyes lit up with amusement,

"I told you I won't hurt you."

Harry lowered his gaze and focused on the carpet. Draco was the last person he had expected. He looked different. His white-blond hair reached his shoulders and his grey eyes seemed colder. His pointed features had grown more handsome. Draco caressed his cheek and Harry shivered,

"Do you know how hard I've worked just so I could get you here?"

Harry shook his head as he struggled to regain some of his composure. There was no way Draco was going to let him go. Maybe if he begged…No, he knew Draco would never let him go,

"I realized that day in the ministry when you pushed me away that the only way to have you was to have you overpowered. Grindelwald was the only option I had and I agreed to help him escape if he would let me have you. Of course, I had to tell him that his dearly beloved Dumbledore had been murdered by Voldemort. So, basically, I gave him an incentive to destroy Voldemort and that is going to be done very soon. With him out of the way, you'll be mine completely and this bond that you share with him will be broken. But then there's the matter of your son…I hadn't counted on that. But it's a minor hiccup in my plans. Grindelwald will either kill him or…"

Harry's hand balled at his sides. He didn't know whether to beat the hell out of Draco or beg for Destrian's life. He remained silent though and let Draco talk,

"I can have your son returned to you."

Harry closed his eyes,

"You won't find him."

Draco laughed in an unsettling fashion and pulled his hand away from his cheek,

"You're underestimating Grindelwald, Harry. He has grown monumentally stronger over the past nine months."

Harry closed his eyes and asked,

"What do you want from me, Draco?"

Draco gripped his chin tight,

"You…I want you…How many times must I repeat myself?"

It was Harry's turn to laugh,

"I can't be yours. You just said it yourself. I'm bonded to Voldemort."

Draco grabbed him and kissed his lips hard. Harry kept his lips sealed tight and his hands shot up as he tried to push Draco away. It was useless because he could feel the power Draco was radiating. Apparently, it wasn't just Grindelwald that had grown stronger over the past nine months. When Harry felt like he was about to suffocate, Draco pulled away and licked his lips obscenely,

"That was incredibly good. I bet your mouth tastes even better and your body…Mmmm…I can't wait to taste all of you."

Harry scrambled away from him and his head banged against the bed. Draco drew closer to him and rested a hand on the back of his head,

"Harry, don't hurt yourself."

Harry watched as Draco rose to his feet and then pulled him up as well,

"Take off your clothes."

Harry shook his head and took several steps away from him. Draco laughed,

"You won't? I can always force you to but I want you to do it willingly."

Harry retreated further and his back hit the wall. His heart was hammering in his chest as Draco stepped closer to him,

"You're afraid, aren't you? Afraid that I'll violate you…afraid that I'll do what Voldemort did to you..."

Draco grabbed his chin and growled out,

"You're a bloody masochist, Harry. He raped you…tortured you and you fell in love with him. I think you'll fall in love with me if I do the same to you."

Harry shook his head and pleaded,

"No, Draco…Please, don't…"

Draco released his chin and traced his lips,

"Why shouldn't I? I've worked so hard for this…for you…"

Harry rested his head against the wall and tried to think of something, anything to get him out of this situation,

"I need time, Draco. Give me some time to wrap my head around this…around you…"

Draco forced his finger into his mouth and Harry resisted the urge to bite it off,

"Suck on it."

Harry took a deep breath and sucked on the finger. Draco looked absolutely overjoyed and he patted him on the cheek as he pulled away his finger,

"You have twenty-four hours. By the end of these twenty-four hours, I will have you on that bed, naked and at my mercy. Your consent will not matter, Harry, although, I would prefer it if you submit to me willingly."

Harry slumped against the wall and released the breath, he hadn't known, he was holding. Draco pulled him away from the wall and sat him down on the bed. He snapped his fingers and a glass of water appeared and hovered inches away from Harry's hand. He grabbed it and gulped down some of it. The glass vanished and Draco sat down beside him and spoke softly,

"I need to put some marks on you."

Harry's eyes widened and he attempted to scramble away from Draco but Draco grabbed him, pushed him back on the bed and straddled him,

"You said I had twenty-four hours."

Draco held his hands over his head in one of his own and spoke,

"You do. I'm not going to do anything to you tonight but Grindelwald wants you to carry signs of abuse to draw out Voldemort. And since he has given me his word that he won't harm you physically so I have to be the one to put them on you."

Harry went still and closed his eyes,

"Okay."

Draco hummed in approval and Harry flinched when he felt him trace his wand over his cheek, his neck, his jaw but he soon came to realize that it didn't hurt at all. Draco's wand vanished and he laughed as he released him,

"You look exactly the way you used to when Voldemort used to flaunt you."

Draco conjured a mirror and showed it to him. Harry sat up straight and his head spun but he didn't feel surprised to see his reflection. There was a blossoming bruise on his cheek, another on his jaw…he looked like he had been beaten up. There was another on his neck which was probably supposed to be a hickey. His vison blurred and he pushed away the mirror and closed his eyes. Suddenly, Draco grabbed his bottom lip between his teeth tightly and he bit back a cry when he felt it rupture. Draco pulled away and Harry felt him wipe away the tiny trickle of blood that ran down his chin,

"Sorry, I had to do that personally. Now you look presentable enough for tomorrow."

Draco pushed him down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. Harry attempted to get up but he slumped back on the mattress and his head hit the pillows,

"Grindelwald told me you didn't get any sleep last night. It wasn't my idea to put you in that cell but he's a little crazy when it comes to his revenge."

Harry closed his eyes but his head was spinning beyond control. The bed felt like it was rocking underneath him. What was wrong with him? He felt too exhausted and his body felt too heavy. Draco pressed a kiss to his forehead, right over his scar and whispered softly,

"I knew you'd resist sleep so I had to slip you some dreamless sleep draught for your own good."

Harry wanted to get away from him but he just couldn't summon up the strength to fight the waves of sleep that were trying to push him under. Giving up was the only choice he had so he did and allowed himself to be engulfed by the bottomless ocean of sleep.


	41. Chapter 41

Harry woke up feeling extremely heavy headed. His body felt like it was made of lead. Draco's voice pierced through his senses and his eyelids flew open. He sat up straight and Draco smirked, his grey eyes alight with amusement,

"Good morning, Harry."

Harry pulled away the covers and looked down at himself. He was still dressed up in yesterday's clothes, even his hair hadn't been untied. He felt the tension seep away from his body, slumped against the headboard and spoke,

"Morning."

He moved his tongue over his ruptured bottom lip and heard Draco speak,

"Relax, sweetheart. I haven't done anything to you…yet…"

Harry closed his eyes and felt Draco hold his chin,

"How are you feeling?"

Harry sat still and his eyes,

"I'm fine."

Draco released his chin and caressed his cheek,

"That's a lie. You're not fine. You haven't been fine ever since you gave yourself up to Voldemort."

Harry pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself. The door opened with a bang and Draco made an annoyed sound,

"Come on, Gellert. You should at least have the decency to knock."

Grindelwald stepped closer to the bed and sat down close to him. Harry lowered his gaze but felt Grindelwald's icy blue gaze fixated on him. He tipped his head back and Harry was forced to meet his gaze. Harry resisted the urge to close his eyes as Grindelwald assessed the bruises on his face and neck. When he was done he laughed in a disturbing fashion and looked at Draco,

"I must commend your patience, Draco. You haven't even unwrapped your prize yet."

Draco chuckled softly and Harry felt him draw closer to him,

"He needed time to wrap his head around this. I want him to be willing when I take him."

Harry gasped in pain as Grindelwald grabbed his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger and squeezed,

"I don't think he'll ever be willing."

Draco swatted Grindelwald's hand away with a laugh,

"I have told him that his consent doesn't matter but I would prefer it if he accepts this and the circumstances rather than fight or resist them."

Harry felt Grindelwald weave his fingers through his tied back hair and hum in appreciation,

"He is absolutely stunning. I can see why you were so insistent on having him."

Harry stole a sideways glance and noticed the proud and smug look on Draco's face,

"You should see him when he's asleep. He looks like an angel."

Grindelwald leered,

"Should I take that as an invitation to your bed?"

Draco crawled over Harry and dropped down into Grindelwald's lap. He pressed a kiss to his neck and Grindelwald hummed in pleasure,

"You know very well that you don't need an invitation to be in my bed. However, you should also know that I'm not going to share my Harry. I made it very clear, Gellert."

Grindelwald laughed and pressed a kiss to Draco's lips,

"He is wholly yours, Draco. But I have also made it clear that I shall not tolerate it if you ignore my needs because of him."

Draco traced Grindelwald's lips seductively and whispered,

"Your needs are my number one priority, Gellert."

Harry noticed something akin to fondness in Grindelwald's eyes for Draco. He could imagine the kind of relationship Draco had with Grindelwald just by this single conversation. Draco kissed Grindelwald's lips before getting up to his feet. Grindelwald spoke,

"He has to be at the ministry in ten minutes. I came to collect him."

Draco pouted in mock offense,

"I thought you came to see me because you missed me."

Grindelwald rose to his feet and smiled affectionately,

"I did miss you last night, Draco."

Draco rolled his eyes and grinned as he crossed his arms over his chest,

"I don't believe you, Gellert. You should have said that as soon as you entered in my room. But anyways, Harry needs to shower and eat before he can go anywhere."

Harry decided that this was supposed to his moment to speak so he said,

"I'm fine."

Grindelwald grinned,

"You heard him, Draco. He's fine. Besides, a shower would have been necessary for him if you had claimed him last night but since that isn't the case, so he is clean enough."

Draco tsked and spoke,

"Come back in half an hour. He needs to eat and shower."

Harry was about to speak when Draco spoke,

"You don't have a say in this. Your well-being is my responsibility now. I've unlocked the bathroom, you can take a shower now. There are some fresh clothes for you on the rack as well."

Harry swung his legs off the bed and rose to his feet. He just couldn't believe how he always ended up in situations like this. He was just closing the door to the bathroom when he saw Grindelwald pin Draco to the wall,

"Allow me to make you believe that I truly did miss you last night."

Draco laughed and said something but Harry closed the door and undressed. He turned on the shower and stepped underneath it. Something about the warm water on his skin thawed his feelings and sensations and he sank to the ground as they assaulted him all at once. His slender fingers pressed into the skin of his forearms, nails biting into his skin drawing beads of blood. His whole body shook, bones rattling in the constant fear of the future that loomed before him. Heart pounding so hard against his ribcage as his pulse pressed outward, jerking the veins within. He was terrified…absolutely terrified of what would happen tonight.

Harry closed his eyes as the water continued to pour down on him and he screamed silently. He wished that Draco had never saved him from Snape. He would have been dead and none of this would be happening now. He wouldn't have fallen in love with Voldemort and Destrian wouldn't have been born…Infact he wouldn't even have met Destrian at all in Sanguini's castle. He wrapped his arms around himself tighter and drew in a deep breath. He had to stay strong for Destrian. He had to live for his son. Harry pushed himself to his feet, finished his shower and dressed up in the clothes, Draco had left for him. A deep green linen shirt and a pair of black pants. He opened the door a crack to check if Grindelwald was gone and relaxed when he wasn't there. He stepped into the room and found Draco laying on the bed, his lips swollen, his eyes closed and an utterly jubilant expression on his face. His hair looked a bit out of place but apart from that nothing looked out of the ordinary. Harry spoke,

"You seem happy with Grindelwald."

Draco opened his eyes and grinned lazily as he sat up straight,

"I wasn't happy before today. There was a void in my life that Gellert could not fill. But, now that you're here…everything is complete and I'm finally happy."

Harry toyed with the button on his shirt and spoke,

"But what about my happiness?"

Draco rose to his feet and stepped closer to him,

"You're never happy. It's just the way you are. I've been watching you for the past nine months and you haven't had a single moment of joy. Not even when your son was born. You've lost your ability to feel joy and you know that's the truth."


	42. Chapter 42

The hours slipped through Harry's fingers like sand and he couldn't hold onto them no matter how hard he tried. He had thought about escaping several times during the day but the thought of leaving Sirius and the others behind forced his thoughts to a standstill and compelled him to stay. The fear had travelled in Harry's veins but he had made sure that it never made it to his facial muscles or skin but he had been unable to conceal the bruises that blossomed on his skin. He hadn't missed the looks of pity he'd received from almost everyone, even Sirius, when he had showed up at the meeting this morning. Who wouldn't pity him when he looked like he'd been violated and abused…No…That was going to happen very soon...

Harry buried his face in his hands and tried to keep the fear at bay but it continued to claw at his insides and he wanted to scream. His head ached like it was going to explode. It was unbearable…

The door opened and Harry couldn't bring himself to look at who had appeared. It was Grindelwald of course,

"It seems you're all done with your work for the day."

Harry couldn't nod, couldn't move. It was like his heart had frozen inside his chest and his body was made of marble. His head throbbed. Grindelwald gripped his arm tight and forced him to his feet,

"Hiding your pretty face won't save you."

Harry stared at the floor as the familiar sensation of side along apparition overwhelmed him. He collapsed to his knees on the familiar carpet as Grindelwald released him. His head was spinning and he felt nauseous. Grindelwald ran a hand over his back and he willed himself to stay silent,

"I have allowed Draco to have you only because he has craved you…yearned for you…burned for you…"

Harry kept his gaze fixated on the carpet and listened with abated breath,

"I fail to see what he finds so appealing about you."

Harry closed his eyes and spoke,

"I don't know that either."

Grindelwald laughed darkly and pulled away his hand,

"I am sure he will tire of you once he has claimed you. But…"

Harry felt something sharp and extremely cold rest against his throat,

"If you hurt him…if you harm a hair on his head…I will slaughter everyone you love right in front of you and then I shall leave you to rot in that cell."

Harry laughed,

"I'll hurt him? You think that I can maim him? I'm the captive here…"

Grindelwald withdrew the dagger and the room reverberated with his raucous laughter,

"You're right of course. Draco is perfectly capable of subduing you."

Grindelwald patted him on the shoulder,

"Have fun tonight."

Harry slumped forward on the carpet and his hands balled into fists. He couldn't take this…wouldn't take this...In this moment, he couldn't think about anything or anyone else but himself.

He rose to his feet and began pacing the room. Harry heard Draco step into the room and the familiar click of the lock. He turned around and found Draco's eyes glazed over. A hungry, smug smile appeared on his face, brutalizing his expression and sending a chilly rush down Harry's back. He shook it off and tried to salvage the situation. Draco strolled toward him purposefully and that syringed a dose of adrenaline into Harry's blood. His palms coated in perspiration, his chest tight as he flexed his hands, preparing for a fight. As soon as Draco was an inch away from him, he cracked another smug smile.

No matter how ready Harry thought he was for this game, the look in Draco's eyes made him shiver and demolished his confidence. No…No…No…He was not going to lay back and take this. Harry itched to erase the hazy arousal from Draco's eyes with his fist.

Draco's relaxed posture provided the perfect opportunity to strike. Harry pushed his body forward with all his weight, concentrating on one powerful kick to Draco's stomach.

Crossing his forearms, Draco blocked the blow, but was thrown off balance and stepped back, swaying. Harry leaped forward and clasped his fingers around Draco's throat. His foot went behind Draco's legs, tripping him as he pushed the man down.

They tumbled to the floor, on the carpet. Landing on Draco's stomach, Harry didn't release his throat. His knee attempted to press on his elbow, but Draco raised his arms, and his hands clasped around Harry's. Harry felt Draco trying to push him off and hissed as his fingers dug deep into the thin skin on Harry's inner wrists.

Harry clenched his teeth, squeezing Draco's throat with all his might, as the first signs of numbness prickled his finger pads. The pressure in his head intensified, making the headache unbearable and an animalistic roar, full of desperation, slipped out of his mouth. His limbs shook as the white fog marred his vision and through its thickness, a scarlet drop fell from somewhere above and crashed against Draco's cheek. Then another one and another. Harry blinked, trying to shake off the hallucination, but the drops kept felling and the metallic taste filled his mouth.

He sucked some air in, realizing his nose was bleeding, it was hard to breath. Sweat broke out on his forehead as a bone-deep throbbing of life, vibrating under his fingertips, ripped through his body. Thick veins popped on Draco's temples and neck, his mouth parted, gasping for air.

Time slowed its pace as Harry stared into the dilated grey pupils. He swayed left, avoiding Draco's fist that aimed at his throat, then he squeezed even harder. Draco's heart quivered under his fingers and, for a second, horror washed over him.

_If I keep going I will kill him…_

He hesitated. His fingers twitched, loosening the grip, and Draco's fist collided with his liver.

The white pain paralyzed Harry for a second. His fingers unclasped, legs refused to keep balance when an elbow blow to his ear shattered his vision. Draco shoved him off himself. The room swam as his hands left Draco's throat, and his side slammed against the floor. Blood, streaming from his nose, trickled from his chin, down his neck.

Draco coughed, shuffled away holding his throat with one hand, and Harry bit his lip, unable to stop him. The pain came and went like a wave of heat, inflaming his skin and leaving small tremors in his body. Shaking it off, he scrambled to his feet and wiped his bloody nose with his shirt sleeve. A hand grabbed his shoulder from behind, forcing him to spin on his heels, and a right hook to his jaw threw Harry backward onto the floor.

Piercing noise deafened him as the surroundings swirled. He blinked and tried to sit up, when the weight of Draco's body pinned him down. The mixed scent of spice and woody fragrance hit his face.

Draco's hands gripped Harry's wrists at either side of his hips as he straddled him. His red, blood-covered face, blurring and distorting, hovered inches away. Harry wriggled trying to set some distance. Draco croaked; his voice raw from the struggle,

"So, this is what does it for you? A fight before the rough sex? I have to agree, this is hot as hell…"

He coughed and cleared his throat, wiping the bloody cheek against his shoulder. Trapped. Harry's heart leaped into his throat as his eyes roamed all over the throbbing room, looking for a way out. Desperate fingers tried to grip the carpet as black panic seeped into his body and settled deep in his bones.

_No. Don't let him intimidate you._

He closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. With a firm shove, he pushed the fear and confusion back. They still existed, lurking at the borders of his mind, but beyond his reach. His body relaxed, gaining back flexibility,

"I like it. You are incredibly sexy when you're so aggressive."

A disdainful smile spread upon Harry's lips as he spat out the words, not willing to indulge Draco with his fear,

"Go to Hell."

Hateful words didn't seem to affect Draco. He smiled and shoved him onto his stomach, tainting Harry's vision with the sudden move.

Harry felt helpless as vigorous hands tore off his shirt down his elbows, securing his arms behind his back in a messy knot of the soft fabric. The pressure applied to his back pushed Harry's cheek deeper into the carpet. He clenched his teeth as it tickled his lips and bleeding nose.

"I wish Voldemort could see you right now. How does it feel to be lying under me…just moments away from when I finally claim you?"

Harry's body refused to move. The mere thought of being violated stopped his blood flow. The animalistic terror, installed in his core, paralyzed his body and mind. A hot wave slammed against his ears, drowning everything in a perpetual din. Draco leaned forward, looking at the side of his face, and the sweet, measured voice filled Harry's ears,

"This is your first time in a long time, isn't it? I will be extremely gentle with you, so gentle that you will beg me to take you over and over and over again."

His fingers glided along Harry's bare back and snaked under his jeans. Harry squirmed as a cold palm squeezed his hips. Firm and rough, it awakened a storm of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Swirling in his guts, it slammed against his rib cage, trashing his already shallow breathing. A painful spasm curled his toes as he pushed his foot against the ground and tried to elbow Draco in the gut, but his attack tangled in the sleeves of his shirt, restraining his arms.

Draco laughed. His palm landed on the side of Harry's head and forced his face deeper into the now blood-soaked carpet. He brought his face down and trailed Harry's shoulder line with his hot breath, never touching the skin, never pulling away.

Draco's confidence terrified Harry. He could smell his own fear in the air. A weird mixture of salty-sweet scent…a scent of weakness, cowardice. He hated it. Draco purred,

"You're going to enjoy this, trust me."


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY RAPE AND VIOLENCE"

Draco's confidence terrified Harry. He could smell his own fear in the air. A weird mixture of salty-sweet scent…a scent of weakness, cowardice. He hated it. Draco purred,

"You're going to enjoy this, trust me."

His hand snuck under Harry's hips and squeezed his soft, sleeping cock, forcing Harry to instinctively lift up his hips to avoid the pain, which only gave Draco better access.

Harry laughed. Feigned cheerfulness hid the chaos and panic that reigned inside him, but his forehead and his palms, drenching wet, betrayed his emotions. Harry thought stubbornly, grinding his teeth,

Violence should remain violence. If the bastard was going to rape him then he didn't want to like it…

He knew all too well how the body's reaction to a rape, combined with some serious brain messing, could result in confusion and be used as a tool for manipulation. Voldemort had used it on him. No way was he going to let Draco do the same. Harry stopped contending and twisted his body again, propping himself on the shoulder to face Draco.

"Who said it's my first time in a long time?"

He hoped that the smile he gave radiated playfulness. Draco's face, pink from the struggle, appeared inches away from his own. He blew some air on Draco's cheek and ear and whispered,

"I doubt that trash like you could ever satisfy me. I'd rather die than let someone like you touch me."

Draco growled

"You are m…"

But Draco wasn't able to finish the sentence. Harry forced his way onto his back, his upper body rushing forward. The room dimmed when Harry's forehead collided with Draco's chin, busting open the corner of his mouth and throwing him back.

Harry jerked his hands, and the knot of the shirt loosened and came undone. Pushing the floor with his palms, he clambered to his feet. His vision glitched, enforcing the dizziness as he stumbled to the middle of the room. Thousands of tiny droplets oozed out on his forehead as he reached the opposite side of the table and leaned on it with all his weight, casting the shirt aside. His body ached; his chest contracting, spitting out a labored breath, and his head tingling with a blood rush.

Draco rubbed his cheekbone. Displeasure rained from every pore as he rose to his feet. The smile vanished from his grey eyes but remained on his thin lips, bringing the terrifying mask of a heartless murderer to his face. Every step forward cut the distance between them.

Harry, seeing Draco getting serious, had no desire to let him any closer. Whenever Draco took a step, he moved in the opposite direction in an attempt to keep the space between them. The room doubled in front of his eyes, and he couldn't stop his traveling gaze. It moved from one object to another, and he had to force it back to Draco every two seconds. Something was wrong. Rapidly blinking, he slapped the vanity with his palms as he stumbled around the table. He needed to gain control over his splitting vision, and for that he needed time.

After their third round around the room. Harry was back beside the side table. Draco grew tired of this senseless chase. Tilting his head, he stepped forwrad, but Harry, predicting this development, lashed out first. He hooked his hands under the table and threw it at his pursuer. The lamp along with other tiny trinkets crashed over the carpet and Draco growled, casting the table aside,

"This game is over."

The skin of a civilized human being fell, revealing a wild animal nature hiding beneath. In a blink of an eye, he materialized beside Harry, throwing a series of fast jabs to his head. Hunching forward, Harry raised his hands. His forearms throbbed with pain as he deflected punches, flying right and left. Seeing the right cross coming, he twisted his torso to slap away, when a powerful blow kissed the edge of his left jaw. Shattering the room, it worsened the spinning. Harry struggled to focus on anything.

The hopeless dread sunk deep into his marrows, chilling his body and filling his mouth with a sour taste. His throbbing vision jumped from the fireplace to a glass shard lying on the messy rug. He swallowed, wobbling toward it.

"I hope you choke to death, you bastard…"

To distract Draco from his aim and awake some courage in his chest, he spat on the floor. His hand probed the air around as he tried to control the chaotic dance of the room. Never losing his fake, sinister smile, Draco launched forward brushing Harry's shoulder with his chest. His fingers curled around Harry's biceps as he kicked the back of Harry's knees and shoved him to the floor.

Stinging pain ran from Harry's elbow up his shoulder and down to his fingers as he hit the floor, then spread throughout his body. His nerve endings shrieked in anguish. His hand numbed, his head flared. Dropping to his knees, Draco shoved Harry on his back and crushed his throat with his right forearm. His left hand struggled to tear down his jeans.

Blood rushed to Harry's head, making his vision murky. The air scraped his larynx, struggling through his air passage. Invading his lungs, it curled; not finding the way out it condensed, weighting his chest. He clutched Draco's forearm, trying to push him off as his knee hit Draco's side, then again and again, but dealt no damage because the man didn't waver. His eyes prickled with tears caused by asphyxia. His pulse went crazy, his veins popped and the pressure in his head became unbearable.

This is how he was going to die? No…He had to live for Destrian…

His eyes fixed on Draco's red face and bloody lips. How come the last thing he see before he died was the face of this bloody bastard?

Thrusting both hands up and forward, Harry grabbed the back of Draco's head and pulled the man toward himself. Breaking the choke hold, Draco hit the floor with both palms at either side of his head, and pushed back. Harry pulled harder, and their sweaty foreheads thumped together.

Oxygen rushed into Harry's lungs, firing them up. His hands itched to grasp his bruised throat as a coughing spasm hit him, but he kept tugging Draco to himself. Hazy for a moment, he looked up in to the cold grey eyes that stared right back at him. Though amused, they bore no kindness, just clear evidence of adrenaline euphoria.

He sucked in the air that was warm with their merged panting and wrapped his right arm around Draco's, securing the man's elbow in a lock. Harry's senses sharpened. Pressing harder to Draco's elbow, he thrust his hips up, helping himself with his bend knees and threw him off. Rolling over he landed on Draco's stomach.

Anger, adrenaline, fear and despair, mixing together, bombarded down in a shower of fast jabs to Draco's head and throat. He vaguely remembered having some aim, trying to reach something a minute ago, but now he couldn't recall what it was. He only knew he had to destroy Draco, or the man would destroy him. The adrenaline haze falling over his eyes whipped everything around.

Draco's defence was effortless when he blocked the attack. He pushed his hip up and trapped Harry's foot with his own before he grabbed Harry's arm and shoved it away. Shifting him off balance, Draco threw him off and booted him in the stomach, pushing a heavy huff out of Harry's mouth.

Harry whacked against the floor with his palms as a black hole opened in his stomach, and his lungs got sucked in. Harry gasped when a sharp pain bloomed between his shoulder blades as Draco crushed his elbow down his spine. Draco's other hand pulled his jeans down to his knees.

Horror washed over Harry, and he attempted to get on all fours. He had to get up. He had to roll over. He had to defend himself. Pure adrenaline boiled in his veins, and the drumming in his head grew louder. Cold and sticky perspiration coated his body as the confidence in his own power collapsed. Draco's raucous, blood-curdling voice cut the air,

"So, you're saying someone else touched you before me in these past nine months?"

Throwing his leg over Harry's body Draco flopped down. His hips were a solid warmth against the back of Harry's legs; his knees at either side of Harry's thighs. He smirked, his impelling fingers squeezed his hips, kneading them ruthlessly,

"Then maybe I shouldn't be overly cautious with you."

Unable to move, with vertigo washing over him, Harry gulped for air and squeezed his eyes tight. He heard the snap of a lid, and a cold finger touched his anus, daubing something all over his entrance.

"No…"

Humiliation hit harder than any fist. His eyes flew open and roamed around the room. That glass shard that lay a few feet away glinted under the yellowish lights, calling to him. If only he could reach it, grab it, and stab Draco's hand with it. Harry twisted his upper body and tried to hit the man in the face. Draco laughed and slapped his weakening hand away.

"No…Stop…"

The muffled words died on Harry's lips as two rough fingers thrust into his body. Jolts of pain shot through his rectum, and he tried to crawl forward in an attempt to escape the pain or reach the shard…in vain.

"Have you noticed that I didn't use magic against you?"

Draco's voice sounded dead serious coming from behind,

"Imagine what I could have done to you if I had. I am being merciful, Harry. Just relax and enjoy."

Those words corroded Harry's soul like acid. Mercy…this was not mercy. He fisted the carpet, clutching it tight. On some level, it helped him contain the humiliation and grip the slipping determination. He inched toward the shard. So, close yet so far away, it was the only salvation he could see.

Please, let me get it…

He didn't know whom he was praying to, he just needed someone to listen.

His mouth gaped in a silent scream as the third finger thrust into his body, scissoring, opening him up. Piercing pain left him with no air. His body shook in tremors when he tried to throw Draco off; the hasty movement echoed in his head, and his vision failed.

Blindly, Harry elbowed back, but the black mist filling the room thickened the air, resisting his attack. It came out slow and sluggish. Draco laughed and twisted his arm, securing it in a tight grip behind his back. His fingers restrained Harry's hand as good as handcuffs.

No… Harry tried to move forward, but with one hand and Draco's weight pinning his legs, he couldn't move a fraction of an inch.

The time stretched. Seconds, hammering in Harry's head, mashed his brain. One minute lasted forever. This was probably how hell was: full of pain, humiliation, and stretched time. Had it felt this bad when Voldemort had violated him?

Draco's fingers moved in and out, sandpapering his tender insides. Harry could do nothing but blink in an attempt to wash the obscure fog out of his watery eyes.

Sometime later when the agony became bearable, and the black veil fell from his eyes, Harry managed to regain control over his body. He shifted and Draco pulled out, bringing him slight relief, but the solid grip on his wrist never loosened.

Tearing the air with his teeth, Harry pushed forward using only his toes. Inch, another one. The shard was so close, another foot and he would be able to grab it, when soft rustling came from behind. Something solid and thick nudged Harry's sore opening, smearing something cold all over his burning skin. Finding the softest spot, Draco in an abrupt motion guided his dick in, forcing his way through the tense ring of Harry's sphincter.

White pain eclipsed everything. The air inflamed his chest as searing agony blustered through his body. A silent cry left Harry's lips, accompanied by a harsh spurt of air. His hand shot to his stomach leaving his cheek pressed to the carpet and his shoulder as the only support. The carpet still clutched in his white-knuckled fist.

The pain overwhelmed him, shuffling white and black. The pulsing blood stained the white shroud of his vision, painting the world crimson, then blackening everything out. His body tensed, and his muscles cramped again, worsening the anguish. His eyes, filled with water, gawked at an invisible spot but saw nothing.

An invisible wall that guarded his mind from reality fell once Draco's hips slammed against the feverish skin of his ass. Disintegrating, it released the choking stream of shock and dread that now flooded his core. Revulsion wrenched his essence, spasming all his muscles and burning acid rushed back into his throat.

Draco hissed but held himself deep inside, the grip of his sweaty fingers on Harry's hip tightened. He leaned forward. The warmth of his chest pressed against Harry's sweaty back. Restraining himself for another moment, he pulled out all the way only to slam back into his hot body.

Harry's chest arched as the back of his head bumped against Draco's cheek. His toes curled, ass contracting. The pain tore him apart, shredding his internal organs and his pride to pieces. He dropped his weight to the floor and brought his hand to his mouth to bite the base of his thumb. Piercing the skin with his canine teeth he attempted to distract himself from the greater pain in his lower body. Blood flooded his mouth and he sunk his teeth deeper, welcoming the new pain that didn't sting with humiliation. Each shove of Draco's cock echoed in his stomach and his head. It felt like a white-hot metal rod poked his insides from within, sending a vibrating wave of pain through his organs from one to another.

Draco's fingers dug deeper into Harry's hip, bruising the tender skin and his other hand pulled Harry's twisted arm higher, pressing Harry's white-knuckled fist between his sweaty shoulder blades.

"Damn…You feel amazing."

Vanishing into madness, Harry threw his free hand forward, anchoring his slipping consciousness into the carpet and reality. His eyes focused on the shard that lay a few inches away from his fingertips. His muscles ripping open as he reached out, and the tip of his middle finger touched the edge. Just a little bit more…

The shard flipped and slipped an inch further away from him. The world, fell down, crushed his spine. His fingers jerked away from the shard as he dropped his chin.

It was a nightmare. It wasn't real. Wake up… wake up! This can't be real… All of this doesn't matter because when he woke up everything would be normal again. Everything would be okay.

Rushing down his temples and forehead, sweat trickled from the tip of his nose to his chin. His body felt sticky and moist. His head ached and somehow everything stopped mattering. Too tired to care about anything, he closed his eyes and rested his head on his elbow. The maddening pain transformed into a dull one and the humiliation into indifference.

Something warm trickled down his inner thigh. Harry didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about anything. He just wanted time to run faster and this to be over. Harsh breathing tickled his nape, sped up and he felt Draco cum inside him.

A few minutes later, he could only watch as Draco stood up, put his clothes in order and sat down on the edge of the bed,

"I am never letting you go, Harry. You belong to me now. You're mine. Get that inside your head."

Feeling nothing but pain, Harry struggled to get up, wishing only to disappear. The shard, reflecting the light hurt his sensitive eyes. It lay only a few inches away but didn't call for him anymore. Exhausted, powerless. His stomach swirled, and he hunched forward puking out the reddish mixture that burned his throat. He retched a few more times until there was nothing left inside of him…no content, no emotions, no thoughts. Harry shivered. His eyelids dropped on their own, and everything vanished around him. He didn't even try to resist, completely letting go, sinking into frigid sleep, heavy and mired as an icy pool.


	44. Chapter 44

Harry drifted in and out of consciousness. The sound of shouting faded in and out,

"I WILL MURDER HIM!"

Draco shrieked,

"Over my dead body! He's mine and you can't lay a finger on him. You promised me you wouldn't."

The mattress shifted…Mattress…He was on the bed,

"Look at what he did to you. There has to be punishment."

Draco sniggered,

"Look at what I did to him."

Grindelwald hummed with delight,

"Yes, I can see the extent of your capabilities. Did you have fun? Was he everything you imagined him to be? Everything you craved?"

Draco laughed softly,

"He is everything and so much more."

Grindelwald chuckled and spoke in a loving whisper,

"You didn't untie his hair."

Harry felt Draco weave his finger through his tied back hair.

"I do intend to do a lot of things to him that involve his hair."

Grindelwald laughed,

"Wake him up. He needs to be at the ministry in an hour."

And with that, the mattress shifted again, the door opened and closed, signalling Grindelwald's departure and he lost his senses once again.

A soft moan, indicating pain, reached his ears and woke him up. Knitting his brows, Harry opened his eyes but immediately shut them. His palms flew to his face, protecting his sensitive eyes from the stinging daylight flooding the room. When another moan resounded in his ears, he felt his trachea vibrating and realized—they were his own.

His tongue taking all the space in his mouth sandpapered the tender surface of his palate, and his thick, meager saliva didn't bring any relief to his dry throat. His body felt broken in so many places, he gave up counting even before he started. Groaning, he rolled to his side and, shielding his vision with a palm, cracked one eye open.

The shreds of disjointed memories of something he thought was a nightmare rushed through his head. He rolled on his other side and closed his eyes in protest as aches bloomed in places that should never ache.

A dull pain rolled across his stomach and his lower back. His throat tightened. His eyes burned, and he had to clench his teeth to stop the scream of anger and desperation,

That hadn't been a nightmare…

A sledgehammer of fear crushed his chest, squeezing the air out of his lungs as he whipped his head around to face Draco. His stomach knotted. He closed his eyes again, trying to subdue the dizziness and pain. Draco sat down on the bed beside him and took his hand. Harry's eyes shot open, and his heart tripled its rate.

"No…"

A half-plea broke out from his mouth as panic shuttered his ability to think straight. Harry jerked his hand out of Draco's grasp but his grip was relentless.

Harry rolled on his stomach and tried to scramble to his feet, but bright colours stained his vision, sucking out his determination. Gripping white sheets, he shuddered in a seizure, feeling like vomiting, but since he hadn't eaten for a while the spasm transformed into a dry, scratchy cough.

Draco leaned over him and Harry saw the way his face stiffened. His mouth disappeared into a firm line. He didn't try to hide his annoyance. His eyes flashed with a threat as he picked up a flask filled with a very familiar orange colored potion and held it to his lips,

"You need to drink this."

Harry reluctantly opened his mouth and Draco tipped it over. He pulled the flask away and spoke in an even and calm voice,

"You have ten minutes to shower and get dressed. After that you're having breakfast with me and then Gellert is going to take you to the ministry."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded his head as the potion took away his pain. He desperately wished it took away the shame and disgust he felt as well. When he felt relatively pain free, he wrapped the sheets around his naked body and forced himself to his feet. Swaying on his legs, he tottered through the thick fog of his hazy vision to the door of the bathroom, pushed it with his palm and stepped in. Once he had closed the door, he let the sheet drop. The full view mirror on the wall showed his reflection and he wasn't surprised to see himself. Pale, blood covered skin, sunken eyes with purple shadows beneath, tormented swollen lips, several black bruises that blossomed on his skin and dried blood tracks on his inner thighs finished the picture. Harry swayed back, leaned against the tiled wall, and covered his eyes with his trembling forearm.

He felt bitter resentment towards Voldemort poison his blood. He had ruined him and then abandoned him. He was here because of him. He was in this state because of him. Everything that was wrong with his life was because of him. But the one good thing in his life…His son…His Destrian…that was because of him too.

He had to strong…He had to be strong for Destrian. This was going to pass. It would pass just like Voldemort's tortures had passed. He pushed himself under the shower and felt the hot, piercing streams of water bombard his tender, feverish skin. The water poured down, it dripped down his side, as his mind faded into dullness and everything became a foggy illusion. Harry closed his eyes as the heat soaked into his skin. He leaned against the tiles as his weak legs threatened to buckle. He bathed his skin lightly, taking careful notice not to touch the bruises that were scattered all over his body. The sensation of the steamy water calmed him; it took his mind away from the things he didn't want to think about. All the things he didn't want to care about. Harry begged the water to dissolve all his thoughts and emotions. He envisioned the water washing away Draco's impure touch from his skin and felt his will return stronger than it had ever been.


	45. Chapter 45

Harry emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed and with his emotions and sentiments locked away firmly. He was dressed up in a pair of black fitted robes, a dark burgundy button up and a pair of skin tight black jeans. Draco gave him an appraising look and beckoned him closer. Harry steeled himself and sat down on the bed beside Draco with the tray of breakfast between them. He had no real appetite for food but he had to eat. He needed to eat to keep his strength up. Draco buttered up a piece of toast and held it out to him. He forced himself to smile and spoke,

"Thank you but I can eat by myself."

The satisfaction he felt by seeing that dejected look on Draco's face cheered him up. He picked up the plate of pancakes and forced himself to eat despite his roiling stomach. Draco watched him with utter fascination and Harry felt like an animal in a zoo. He failed to comprehend Draco's obsession. He had claimed him now so it should be over but the way Draco was staring at him made him feel a little terrified. No…he would not be afraid. Harry was just wiping his mouth clean with the napkin when Draco spoke,

"Do you even remember last night?"

Harry made sure he met Draco's grey eyes when he smiled,

"Yes, I do actually. You don't have a mark on you though and that's a pity. I would have loved to see the damage I caused."

Draco pushed the tray away and drew closer to him. Harry forced himself to sit still as Draco grabbed his chin and caressed his cheek with his other hand,

"You are absolutely fascinating. I expected you to be more subdued after last night but here you are…as stubborn and as defiant as always…You know this is why I'll never tire of you."

Harry held Draco's gaze and rested his hand on his cheek and felt Draco lean into his touch,

"What do you want from me, Draco?"

Draco sighed happily,

"Just you…"

Harry traced his finger over Draco's cheekbone lightly and drew closer to him,

"You want this, don't you? You want my affection…my touch…my kisses…"

Draco's eyelids fluttered shut and he nodded his head silently,

"I want this, Harry… I want this so bad."

Harry closed his eyes and hating himself, pressed a brief kiss to Draco's lips. Draco's lips parted and a soft moan escaped them. Harry kept his lips inches away from Draco's and whispered,

"You have to earn this, Draco."

He pulled away and Draco groaned in protest. He opened his eyes and Harry tipped his head back and smiled,

"Did raping me feel as good as this, Draco?"

Draco's eyes conveyed his frustration and desire completely. Harry laughed softly and rose to his feet just as the door opened and Grindelwald stepped in with a huge grin on his face,

"Ready to go, sweetheart?"

Harry smiled and watched as Grindelwald's slipped,

"Yeah, I'm ready."

He walked closer to Grindelwald and felt him grip his forearm. Just as they were about to apparate, Harry looked at Draco and spoke,

"Think about it, Draco."

At the ministry, Harry busied himself with work and ignored all the sympathetic stares he received. Sympathy was the last thing he needed. No one was going to help him. No one could save him least of all Voldemort. Harry's hands balled into fists at the thought of him. He hated him…absolutely hated him for everything he'd done to him. Harry crumpled up the piece of parchment he'd been working on and tossed it at the door. He wondered how Destrian was and whether he was happy or not. Harry sighed and grabbed a fresh piece of parchment to jot down the notes. There was no point in tormenting himself any further. Destrian would be fine. David was probably taking good care of him.

The meeting was going terrible. Everyone was more focused on his face then what he was trying to say and it just wasn't working out. He'd had enough,

"What's the problem?"

Sirius regarded him with a pained expression on his face but before he could say anything, Harry spoke,

"Save it. I know what you're going to ask and the answer is I'm fine. I was raped last night…But I guess that's nothing new…You know what, Sirius?"

Harry ran his gaze around the table and not a single person present looked him in the eye…they all had their heads bowed and their gazes lowered,

"This is all because of you. I'm sitting here in this state because of all of you. I gave up my bloody life to save yours…the least you could have done for me was go into hiding…BUT NO!...You had to stay because you enjoy seeing me tormented…you enjoy watching me sacrifice myself to save you all…If you cared about me one bit, you would have run away so that Grindelwald couldn't use you as leverage against me..."

Harry rose to his feet and was about to walk out of the room when he spoke,

"I don't need your sympathies and I don't need your help. I wish I never knew any of you…I wish I never cared about any of you…"

And with that he stalked out of the meeting room and towards his office. He should have said this all a long time ago…He should have said this all when Voldemort had used Sirius to threaten him into submission. He pushed open the door to his office and strode in. He wasn't surprised to find Grindelwald in his seat so he dropped into one of the seats opposite him and rested his head on the table,

"I'm assuming your meeting didn't go too well."

Harry knew ignoring Grindelwald wasn't a choice he could afford,

"Yeah, it didn't."

There was silence and then Grindelwald spoke,

"As my supposed spouse and the Minister of Magic, you shall be attending a ball tonight. Magical and Non-Magical Leaders from around the world shall be present. I expect you to be on your best behavior."

Harry closed his eyes and nodded his head silently. He hated it…absolutely hated masquerading as Grindelwald's spouse,

"Is Draco going to be there?"

Harry heard Grindelwald chuckle and then he spoke,

"Yes, he shall be present."

Harry inwardly groaned. This had disaster written all over it.


	46. Chapter 46

Harry's face hurt from faking smiles…well that wasn't the only reason it hurt but it was the most current reason. He was allowed a moment of respite now and that was why he stood against the far wall, away from the happily gossiping crowd and sipped his drink in solitude. So far, he hadn't seen Draco and he was perfectly happy about that.

Harry rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. What was he going to do? He had started something with Draco this morning and he was sure that that was the only way he would better his circumstances. From what he had observed, Draco had a certain hold over Grindelwald…a hold he could use to his advantage if he managed to succeed in manipulating Draco. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Grindelwald's voice,

"Harry, I want you to meet Mr. David and his family."

Harry looked up and it took him all his will to hitch up a smile because David stood right in front of him with a woman, he didn't recognize, who held a baby…a baby…There was something familiar about the woman's eyes until it struck him. Luna…It was Luna and the baby…it had to be Destrian…Harry looked at the baby closely and saw nothing that resembled Destrian but something inside him knew that it was his son…this was his son…

David held out his hand and Harry shook it rather dazedly. Grindelwald laughed,

"Your shock is justified, Harry. After all, he was your former employee. Now he shall work for me."

Harry kept his smile firmly in place and spoke,

"I'm not shocked. We're all in it for power after all."

Harry stole another glance at the baby and yearned to hold him. Grindelwald must have seen the longing in his eyes because he laughed and gripped his shoulder tight, forcing him to gasp in pain,

"Harry misses his son desperately."

Harry fought back tears and gritted his teeth to stop any more sounds from escaping his lips. David smiled but Harry noticed that it didn't reach his eyes,

"That is understandable. Have you had any luck in finding him? Maybe I could be of some service."

That seemed to have distracted Grindelwald because he laughed and released his shoulder,

"Not yet but I am hopeful that we shall find him soon."

It took him all his strength to keep his smile in place and listen to Grindelwald and David talk about politics. He felt Luna's gaze on him through it all. Destrian…his son was inches away from me and he couldn't reach out and hold him…he couldn't take him in his arm…. couldn't kiss him, feel him…couldn't love him…He had to be the world's most unfortunate father…Harry felt like his insides were in a chaos. A mess. It felt like his mind and heart were being sawed in half and every breath he took was pure agony. He sighed out in relief when Grindelwald led David away and he watched as Luna followed right behind him. Harry downed his drink in one and forced back his tears. He couldn't cry…not here…

It felt like an eternity until the guests began to depart and the hall was empty. Grindelwald drew closer to him and patted him on the cheek,

"You deserve a reward for your good behaviour."

Harry lowered his gaze and shook his head. He didn't need Grindelwald's rewards. They certainly couldn't mean anything good for him. Grindelwald laughed and grabbed his forearm. Harry was half expecting to find himself back in Draco's bedroom. He repressed his sigh of relief when he found himself in his cell in Nurmengard,

"You and I are going to have a little chat."

Grindelwald pushed him back on the bed and loomed over him,

"What did you say to him?"

Harry feigned innocence and spoke,

"I don't understand what you mean."

Grindelwald gnashed his teeth and he looked like he was ready enough to torture him but barely restraining himself,

"Did you forget my warning last night, sweetheart?"

Harry shook his head as Grindelwald conjured a blade and held it to his throat,

"What did I say last night, sweetheart?"

Harry had survival on his mind. He gulped and spoke,

"You said you would slaughter everyone I loved in front of my eyes and leave me to rot in this cell."

Grindelwald ran the blunt side of the blade over his throat and hummed in delight,

"Very good. Now, what do you suppose I should do?"

Harry was about to speak when Grindelwald rested a finger on his lips,

"Ssshhh…According to principle, I should make good on my threat and slaughter everyone you love…"

Grindelwald growled and then chucked the blade at the nearest wall,

"But…they have all escaped…so now I'll have to find them all before I slaughter them…"

Something like hope blossomed in Harry's chest,

"They escaped…"

Grindelwald's fingers clasped around his throat and his icy blue eyes radiated cold fury,

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, sweetheart. I'll find them and when I do, you'd better pray that I'm in a forgiving kind of mood or else they'll all be parting with their heads…including your son."

Harry felt his lungs burning up for oxygen. He kicked his legs and struggled to pry away Grindelwald's fingers. He wasn't going to die…not like this…not at Grindelwald's hands. Grindelwald released him and spoke,

"Now, you're going to tell me what you said to my Draco."

Harry rubbed his throat and Grindelwald grabbed his hair,

"Start talking."

Harry drew in a deep breath and spoke,

"I didn't say anything."

Grindelwald laughed maliciously and held him tight by the collar of his shirt,

"Liar. You told him to think about it. What did you tell him to think about? He's been locked away in his room ever since this morning and he was supposed to attend the ball tonight but he never showed up…"

That sounded a lot like victory to Harry. He relaxed under Grindelwald's hold and spoke,

"He raped me last night. I told him to think about it…"

Grindelwald snarled and had raised his hand to hit him when Harry grinned and tutted,

"Draco won't like that."

The hand fell and Grindelwald vanished in a flash.


	47. Chapter 47

Harry laid back on the hard mattress and stared up at the stone ceiling with tears streaming down his temples. He'd been so close to his Destrian and yet so far. Something inside him yearned to hold his Destrian…something inside him absolutely burned with longing to hold his baby. What the hell was David and Luna playing at? What had they been doing there at the ball? Were they really going to work for Grindelwald? And Destrian…Luna had been holding him and he hadn't been crying…Destrian only ever stopped crying in his arms or David's…Had he grown accustomed to Luna as well. He must have. He wiped away his tears and drew in a deep breath. Destrian was alright. He had Luna and David with him. They were taking good care of him.

Despite the fact that he preferred this cell to Draco's bedroom, he couldn't sleep a wink. The bitter cold, thoughts of Destrian, memories from the past and last night and the vagueness of his future kept him up and restless through the night. He was a bit surprised when Grindelwald didn't come to get him the next morning. Harry spent the day alternating between pacing the small cell and laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. Sleep avoided him and by the time, the night arrived again, his stomach was grumbling and he was starving.

Grindelwald didn't come to get him the next day or the day after that either and Harry could only lay curled up on the bed in a fetal position and stare at the wall as his stomach snarled and howled and from it came the not-so-subtle undertone of pain. It came in waves and it seemed as though his stomach was slowly digesting itself. He clutched at it, pulling it this way and that in an attempt to silence it but to no avail. It was a slow pain, eating away at his stomach and leaving him feeling drained and empty. He was thirsty too…his throat parched and dry. Every time he attempted to swallow it was like glass down his throat. Water was a wishful dream and food was a concept not even worth the effort of hoping for. Grindelwald was making good on his word and letting him rot away in this cell.

If only he could sleep for a while and escape this pain and the cold. But sleep seemed determined to evade him and he couldn't even doze off. He was tired…absolutely exhausted…every breath cost him energy he didn't have and left him feeling more listless.

He lost track of time, lost track of the hours he'd spent locked up in this cell. He couldn't move when the cell door creaked open. He was awake but he didn't have the strength to open his eyes. Someone sat down beside him and Harry felt a pleasantly warm hand caress his impossibly cold cheek. He would have leaned into the touch if he had the energy to move,

"I know you're cold, starved and dehydrated but I want you to know that this wasn't my choice of a punishment."

Harry wanted to die. He should have died. He was so tired of this game...the game Draco and Grindelwald were playing with him. Draco rested a hand under his neck and forced something liquid down his throat that instantly flooded his freezing cold body with warmth. His fingers tingled and it felt like a thousand pins were pricking his body all at once as the sensations returned to his limbs.

Draco's hand remained at the base of his neck and he felt him rub soothing circles on his nape. A few minutes passed in silence and then Harry felt something else being held to his parched lips. He quickly grew aware of the fact that it was water and began gulping it down. The water sliding down his throat felt like the greatest luxury on earth. He couldn't get enough of it but slowly sleep began to consume him and he cursed inwardly. How many times was he going to fall for the same trick? He struggled against the warm and inviting tendrils of sleep slowly ensnaring him but it was no use and soon enough he gave up.

Harry came awake slowly and steadily grew aware of his surroundings. He was wrapped up in warm covers and felt none of the hunger or thirst that had plagued him in that cell. He opened his eyes and found himself exactly where he had expected. Draco's bedroom. Draco came into view and leaned over him as soon as he attempted to sit up straight.

"You need to relax. It's alright."

Harry closed his eyes again and spoke,

"What was I punished for exactly? For being raped by you or for doing exactly what Grindelwald wanted and behaving myself at the ball?

Harry felt Draco brush his hair away from his forehead and he had to force himself to remain still. He had to remember that Draco was his only way out of this. One wrong move would ruin everything. Draco didn't reply. That was a victory in his books albeit a small open. The door opened and Grindelwald's voice reached his ears,

"Is he awake?"

Harry opened his eyes and spoke,

"I am."

Grindelwald stepped closer to him and Harry saw the anger simmering in his icy blue eyes,

"I intended to keep you in that cell for three more days. Consider yourself lucky that Draco insisted on getting you out early."

Harry held Grindelwald's gaze but said nothing. Grindelwald grinned and patted him on the cheek,

"Good, you actually learned something from it all."

He saw his gaze turn to Draco as he spoke,

"Don't dote on him too much. He's alive. That's all we need."

Draco must have said something with his eyes because Grindelwald's gaze softened as walked out of the room. When the door closed, Harry turned on his side and spoke,

"I'm alive. Go ahead and rape me if you want."

The sound that escaped Draco's lips was full of despair and Harry cherished it.


	48. Chapter 48

Harry didn't know when he had fallen asleep again but he woke up feeling extremely drowsy and unbearably warm. He kicked away the covers and heard the rustling of sheets behind him. Draco…Why couldn't he leave him alone? As his head stopped spinning, he opened his eyes and realized that his surroundings were hazy and blurred. He ran his hand over his face and realized that his glasses were gone. Great…Absolutely bloody perfect,

"How are you feeling now, Harry?"

Harry drew in a silent breath and spoke,

"Fine…I'm fine."

That was the truth. He really was feeling fine. He wasn't cold, hungry or thirsty anymore. That persistent longing, he felt in his chest for Destrian was still there but that couldn't be helped. He heard Draco sigh in relief and bit his tongue to hold back the comment that was burning to escape from his mouth. What the hell was Draco relieved for? He was probably pleased that his play thing hadn't died,

"You haven't been fine…"

Draco's voice was a bit hoarse and it grated on his nerves,

"I thought I was going to lose you... You looked so pale…"

Harry stared at the blurry wall and spoke,

"Here I am. Still in your bed. You really shouldn't have worried though. I'm just too stubborn to die."

He couldn't recall what had happened to him though. He'd been fine the last time he'd woken up. He remembered Grindelwald talking to him and then he remembered talking to Draco,

"What happened to me?"

He resisted the urge to flinch when Draco rested a hand on his shoulder,

"You had a fever."

Harry nodded silently and wished that he were dead,

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry for what I did to you…"

Harry closed his eyes. If Draco really regretted his actions then he would let him go,

"It's fine, Draco…I'm fine."

Draco squeezed his shoulder,

"Are you really forgiving me?"

Harry nodded despite his aching, screaming heart that wanted retribution and deliverance. He felt Draco's impure lips on his cheeks and imagined them sullying him. Patience…He just needed to be patient. Draco pulled his lips away and Harry bit back his sigh of relief,

"Do you want something to eat?"

Harry shook his head and spoke,

"No…But I need my glasses…"

Draco handed them to him instantly and he sat up straight while he slid them over his nose. Harry had expected to see Draco restless and pale but he looked healthy and well rested and it only served to increase Harry's internal chaos. He smiled despite everything and Draco smiled back which only made him wish that he could punch his lights out. Instead he spoke,

"You've been sleeping well, Draco."

Draco's cheeks flushed and he had the audacity to look embarrassed,

"Gellert didn't want me to lose sleep over you."

Harry nodded and kept his smile on his lips as he asked,

"Does Grindelwald love you?"

Draco's cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red but he didn't reply. Harry leaned forward and cupped Draco's cheek,

"You said you wanted me."

Draco's lips parted and his breathing turned choppy as he nodded,

"Did you think about what I said that day?"

Draco nodded his head vigorously and whispered,

"Yes, I thought about it. I'll do whatever it takes to earn it…earn you…"

Harry smiled then…a real smile…Victory definitely tasted sweet. He leaned back and spoke,

"Let me go first."

Draco's expressions instantly shifted and Harry knew he'd messed up. A maniacal grin stretched across his face and his grey eyes took on a wild glint. He drew closer to him and murmured,

"Caught you."

Harry leaned back and Draco gripped his chin,

"I told you I'd thought about it and you know what?"

Harry sat still as his heart raced in his chest. Hopelessness gripped his heart and he lowered his gaze as he asked,

"What?"

Draco's smirk widened and he whispered in a conspiratorial whisper,

"The more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that it was too good to be true…your sudden change in attitude was too good to be true…"

Draco paused and growled,

"Look at me!"

He didn't want to but he felt entirely helpless at the moment and everything felt ruined so he did. He met Draco's derisive gaze and waited for him to speak,

"Gellert noticed my turmoil and I showed him my memories. He saw your manipulations for what they were almost instantly and told me what you were going to ask of me…But I have to give you credit though. You're a bloody good liar and I almost believed you…in fact, I did believe you for a moment."

Harry closed his eyes and Draco released his chin,

"You are allowed to cry, Harry. I want to see you cry."

Harry held back his tears and Draco coaxed,

"Cry for me, sweetheart…I want to see your tears..."

Harry shook his head and bit out,

"I won't…I won't…"

Draco laughed and Harry heard him get up,

"Okay, don't cry. But admit it…admit that you were trying to play me…admit that you were trying to use me."

Harry rested his head against the pillows and remained silent. He wouldn't admit it. He wouldn't give Draco that pleasure…he wouldn't…Draco clicked his tongue and spoke,

"I'm disappointed. I thought you were brave enough to own your actions."

Harry fisted the sheets. Damn it. How had he thought that he would succeed in manipulating Draco? How could he have hoped that things would get better? He should have known that he was bound to fail with his luck. Draco voice was deadly serious and icy cold when he spoke,

"You are NOT getting out of here. NEVER!"


	49. Chapter 49

He was tired of smiling…he was so damn tired of everything…If only he could just get up and leave or at least say something that would disrupt the meeting. But he couldn't open his mouth or move a muscle because Grindelwald had done something to him. So, he sat through the meeting and endured in silence as Grindelwald negotiated a pact with the muggles. They had no idea what was coming or what a monster Grindelwald was.

The meeting ended and Harry gasped when he suddenly regained sensation in his limbs and could open his mouth,

"I thought you had learnt something from your previous punishment."

Harry leaned back in his seat and spoke,

"I'm so sorry to disappoint you."

Grindelwald vanished the chair and the breath was knocked out of him as he landed on the floor,

"Draco has been coddling you too much."

Harry crossed his legs and sat up straight,

"If coddling means telling me in vivid detail about all the ways he's going to violate me again then yeah, he's been coddling me a lot."

Grindelwald stepped closer to him and Harry resisted the urge to flinch back. It had been a week since Draco had found out that he'd been trying to manipulate him. Honestly, he had expected to be punished for that but so far aside from words his days and nights had been relatively pain free. That could change anytime. Grindelwald was awfully silent and that wasn't a good sign,

"I am beginning to see what Draco sees in you."

Harry kept his gaze lowered and waited for him to continue,

"You're awfully attractive when you try to be defiant. But understand this, you are not in control of your life anymore. You will live the way Draco and I desire for you to live."

Harry's throat constricted and he realized that he couldn't breathe. He collapsed on his side and struggled to breathe as his body gradually starved for oxygen. He clutched his throat and kicked his feet. Grindelwald's voice rang in his ears,

"Every single breath you take belongs to me. You breathe because Draco wishes it and because I allow it."

Harry's vision faded in and out of focus and just as he was about to completely black out, he was able to breathe again. He drew in several deep breaths of air and Grindelwald's laughter rushed into his air. He pushed himself to his knees shakily and Grindelwald snapped an order,

"Correct your appearance. We have another meeting."

He gripped the edge of the table to lift himself up on his wobbly legs. It took him all the strength he possessed to stay on them,

"Get a move on, Harry."

He hastily ran a hand through his hair and dusted off his robes before walking behind Grindelwald. He absolutely hated his existence right now and he had a niggling sensation at the back of his mind that it was going to get a whole lot worse.

His suspicions were proved horribly correct when he found himself sitting opposite Draco at the dinner table that night.

His heart sank and he couldn't believe that events were going to repeat themselves. He laughed to himself, his mouth watering with a bitter taste of defeat. He wished Draco would just kill him. But really… why kill physically when you can mentally crush someone. It would be totally in this bastard's spirit.

The haunting memories from that night paralyzed him, knotting his guts in one tight rubber ball. The mental image of being violated again brought back the tearing pain to the depths of his body. Mentally kicking himself for giving in to fear, he made an effort to put on a smile

The eye contact he maintained with Draco brought slight prickles to his eyes, but he refused to break it. He invested a lot of hate as well as frosty challenge in his glare and Draco's eyes shimmered with curiosity. Draco leered,

"You can't take your eyes off me, can you? Should I believe that you are harbouring strong feelings for me?"

He put a piece of a grilled salmon on Harry's plate,

"Don't worry, you will have all the time in the world to convey them to me with your sweet moans. Now, you have to eat. You are going to need a lot of energy, believe me."

The mask he struggled to keep on his face cracked. The blood drained from his face, and his lip muscle twitched. Swallowing, he leaned back in his chair, his appetite gone. White noise inhabited his ears as the unbearable pain and humiliation Draco had caused him occupied his thoughts.

He whipped his head to the side, unable to control the fear. Draco stood up with a predatory smile,

"Do I really need to resort to spoon-feeding you?"

Harry held Draco's gaze and spoke,

"I'm not hungry."

Draco's face tensed, and a wicked expression erased the carefree smile from his thin lips. He came to stand beside him, grabbed the knife and fork from the plate and cut off a small piece before bringing the fork to his mouth, Pure mockery splashed in his eyes.

"I don't think we have a choice. We don't want the food to get cold, do we?"

Harry was sure Draco was enjoying every bit of anger and indignation surfacing on his face. Harry diverting the fork from his face with his hand and spoke

"Doesn't matter, I'll eat it cold."

Draco growled,

"Open your bloody mouth."

The threat rang in Harry's ears. Blood rushed to his head, clouding his vision with a crimson veil of rage. He grabbed the plate from infront of him, and, pouring all his frustration and anger into the move, he threw it against the wall. Shards of white porcelain littered the floor. Malice twisted Draco's face, baring his teeth. His hand flew up in the air, forming a fist.

Harry recoiled, ready to take the hit. He squeezed his eyes and clenched his jaw, waiting for the pain. It never came. Instead, he heard a low eerie whisper,

"If you ever do something like that again, I'll force you to lick the floor squeaky clean. Do we understand each other?"

Harry opened his eyes, confusion swirling in his stomach made him sick. He peered up; nails digging into his skin as his knuckles bleached white. The urge to hit the bastard stormed in his chest. Not granting the man with another look, he averted his eyes. Never in his life had he felt this powerless. Draco repeated louder; his voice bore hints of threat.

"I didn't hear you!"

Biting his lower lip, Harry nodded. He didn't want to admit defeat, but he couldn't win against Draco. Not now. He raised his eyes but lowered his head in a second, unable to withstand the uncompromising gaze.

Draco took another plate from the table, scooped some mashed potato and stew with a fork and shoved it toward Harry's mouth,

"Open up!"

Swallowing his pride, Harry opened his mouth. His face heated up. His ears tingled with a heavy blood rush. Taking the food from the fork, he swallowed without chewing. His stomach cramped, sickness squeezed his guts, beading his skin with icy sweat. But Draco didn't notice, shining with a self-satisfied smile. He scooped some more food, purring sweetly,

"See? You can be adorable when you want to be."

Harry flinched as if had been hit with a whip and glared at Draco. He'd never felt such hatred ever before.


	50. Chapter 50

Harry's opened his eyes with extreme difficulty. It took him a few minutes to regain his senses but when he did, he realized that his wrists were chained to the headboard. Draco smiled predatorily and grinned,

"You're awake."

Draco unbuttoned his silk shirt and shrugged it off. Thick veins swelled under the skin on his powerful arms and abdomen as long fingers that could have belonged to a sculptor pressed to the skin of his chest.

The touch of cool ruthless fingers creeping along his body felt like incandescent metal rods. They groped their way down, examining each and every inch of his body, making a brief pause at a point underneath his navel.

Lying on his back with no escape, Harry knew that Draco could feel his rapid heartbeat under his fingers. But no matter how hard he tried to suppress it, his heart appeared to believe it could flee from the ravenous claims of his tormentor if it beat faster.

"Your body is beautiful."

Draco leaned forward, getting on all fours. His wet tongue landed on Harry's nipple, then painted a moist trail down his abdomen, making him gasp and writhe,

"My touches gross you out, don't they?"

Harry nodded his head and ground his teeth

"Yes, they do."

Draco licked his lips and hovered over his spread body, burning Harry's skin with his vehement breath. His elbows cut into the mattress at either side of Harry's hips as his lips pressed against his navel.

A sour taste filled Harry's mouth as the hotness of Draco's tongue swirled around his belly button. A painful lump in the back of his throat made it difficult to breathe, unable to swallow. The piercing ice of fear engulfed his body and numbed his legs. He instinctively sucked his stomach in, but that didn't stop Draco's mouth. He merely chuckled, amused.

Harry closed his eyes for a second. The determination not to feed Draco with his fear helped him to relax and feign indifference. His gaze landed on the wall as he tried to switch his feelings off.

Draco's lips moved up, then to Harry's left. Sharp teeth nibbled on his side, biting their road up to his ribs. His hands closed around Harry's waist as Draco pushed himself up; the thick fabric of his pants rubbed against his skin as Draco's knees pressed to his right side. His mouth travelled to Harry's nipple and hot lips sucked in the tender flesh.

Harry closed his eyes concentrating on his breathing and finding inner harmony. Seeking distraction in his mind, he imagined a secluded place, ringing songs of careless, happy birds, golden rays of a bright noonday sun piercing the sky, and the raucous sound of a high mountain waterfall. In that imaginary world, he held Destrian in his arms and stepped into the lapping water, enjoying soft prickling in his limbs. He even heard the buzzing of a bee, pollinating a wild pungent flower.

Draco hummed and sat back on his knees. His palms groped down Harry's sides, fingers looped into the top of his jeans, travelled to the center, then undid the button. The soft ticking reverberated against Harry's groin as a tooth by tooth his zipper came undone.

Propping himself on one elbow, Draco slanted forward. His warm breath disturbed light, almost invisible hair at Harry's lower abdomen as Draco moved lower, covering his belly with fierce kisses. His hand snaked under Harry's briefs toward his dormant cock.

Harry stiffened; alarm in his heart. But seconds later he suppressed his emotions, allowing Draco to do whatever he pleased. He didn't see a point in resisting. He had already lost.

Draco's expression tightened as he dipped a brow. Tilting his head to the side, he hooked his fingers into the top of Harry's jeans, then tore them down along with his briefs in one go, leaving them hanging around his ankles.

The rough action burned Harry skin, leaving him exposed. Every movement from Draco stirred the air around, making Harry feel chilly in a hot room.

Draco's cool palm landed on his chest right against his heart. He stilled, listening to its beating while his left hand framed his head. His thumb brushed over pulsing veins on Harry's forehead and temple, then drifted lengthways down his cheekbone, crawling over the tight line of his mouth. Pulling Harry's lower lip down, he drew a trail along his chin, over his throat until reaching his collarbones.

Harry swallowed under his touch, and Draco's lips stretched in a slowly building smile, his eyes lit up with an inner glow.

A lingering caress of Draco's cool palm brushed over Harry's armpit and stilled at his side. His keen fingers dug deep between Harry's ribs. The wet hotness of Draco's mouth pressed to the side of Harry's neck and moved down, tasting…learning his body inch by inch, in an attempt to discover which parts of his skin caused reactions.

But even if Harry's heart increased its speed, it quickly calmed again returning to normal, suppressed by the will of its owner.

"Hmm…"

Draco licked his lips. His eyebrows squished together as he blew a long path of air from Harry's solar plexus to his navel, then down his pubis stirring dark curly hair. His fingers scraped down along smooth skin, leaving white nail trails that turned red within seconds across Harry's chest and stomach. Draco's pink tongue flickered between thin lips then lapped down, taking Harry's member into his mouth.

Warmth and incredible softness coated Harry's cock, then let go as Draco released him with a wet, nerve-wrenching pop. Soft chuckling hit Harry's ears as a hot breath bounced off his wet flesh.

"Look who is waking up…"

Draco planted a small kiss at the very tip of Harry's cock before circling the head with his tongue. His palms travelled from Harry's side down to his hips, scratching the skin bringing a weird painfully-ticklish sensation. Opening his mouth, Draco took Harry's length inside, greeting him with the deep, slippery warmth, pressing his nose against Harry's pubis.

Harry shuddered; his body rebelling against his will. Warmth bloomed in the pit of his stomach and spread, inflaming his skin, seething his blood. Draco smiled. His eyes glinted when the soft flesh under his tongue responded with a twitch.

Harry shook his head, pierced his bottom lip with his canine tooth, and his cock went limp again. The coppery taste spiked his senses as he welcomed the pain, searching for distraction in it. Draco snarled,

"Don't you dare resist me!"

He shuffled up to meet Harry's face, his naked, heated chest brushed against Harry's. He put all his weight on his right hand, pressing it against Harry's heart again, and his sharp elbow painfully poked Harry's stomach. Grabbing a handful of his hair, he pulled him nose to nose.

Harry ignored everything, not bothering to look at his assailant. His eyelids closed, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Draco was too close, and a zesty, woody fragrance of his cologne filled Harry's lungs. Draco's hot breath tickled his lips.

Harry stopped breathing. Draco's palm laid stone-heavy against his chest. It disturbed, weighted, and suffocated him. He wanted to shake it off, to get rid of its crushing pressure, but he couldn't move. Draco murmured,

"Oh my, you've bitten yourself again, haven't you?"

He inched forward brushing the tip of his nose against Harry's, and his warm, slippery tongue fondled his lips. Harry's eyes flew wide open; his heart skipped a beat and darted off with a hollow thump. Arousal splashed in Draco's grey eyes, bringing colour to his high cheekbones as he whispered against his lips,

"Wow, really? Your mouth is your weak point? So simple? This is just too adorable, Harry."


	51. Chapter 51

Harry clenched his teeth; his cheeks prickled, warmed. His palms grew wet as heat spread in his core…irritating. The reaction of his own body annoyed him, made him feel ashamed, wrong, twisted. This never should have happened. This was even worse than their first encounter. Violence followed by this gentleness; the lover's gestures in a rape scene. He hated this.

Draco's skin flushed. His eyes glowed with undisguised lust. The eye contact lasted for a few seconds before Harry refused to maintain it and faced the wall. He wasn't able to look at the Draco's eager, aroused face. He couldn't bear all those emotions pointed at him. He knew his reactions, caused by such an unpretentious touch, excited Draco's imagination,

"Look at me."

Draco's fingers clenched on his jaw and rolled his head, making him look up. Two hungry eyes bore into Harry's face, devouring his soul, shredding his defence to pieces, making him feel split open.

Harry felt Draco's chest rise and fall against his own, his palm burning his heart, his breath searing his lips. The invisible wave of arousal, flowing from his skin along with the mixture of overpowering scents, ricocheted against the tense line of his body.

Restraining Harry's chin with one hand, Draco pressed his fingers on Harry's jaw hinges, opening his mouth. He swallowed as his eyes searched Harry's before he locked their lips together, invading Harry's mouth with the wet softness of his tongue.

Harry flinched and shook his head trying to evade the kiss, but the fingers only dug deeper, sending jolts of pain through his head. Ripples of panic ran through Harry's body as he scrunched his face and groaned. The pressure on his jaw subdued, and Harry bit down on the lip caressing his own. The coppery mixture of saliva and blood flooded his mouth.

Draco's eyes narrowed. He jerked away as his palm flew to his lips, wiping the blood pouring down his chin. Sitting back he glared at Harry, his eyes blazing with rage. Harry didn't care. He wanted to spit but couldn't raise his body enough. Turning his head to the side, he wiped his mouth off on his raised arm leaving a red, wet trace on his skin. Draco stated, looking at his blood-covered palm,

"I'm tired of your whims. You want to do it the hard way? Let it be! I'm going to play rough then. Maybe I should call Gellert. Would his presence excite you?"

Harry clenched his teeth, his jaw muscles stretching his skin. Something hot bubbled in his heart, ready to spill. His vision blurred as the blood drummed in his head. His palms formed fists, and he lurched forward. The chains clinked, throwing him back.

Harry growled, jerked the chain again and again, filling the room with the constant metallic screech, but it never gave in. The handcuffs cut into his skin, stripping it off. Thin streams of blood ran down his forearms. Despair ripped through him, draining the energy from his body. His chest tightened as he rolled his head to the side, fixing his gaze on the expensive curtain hiding the window from view. Harry muttered. His lower lip quivered, and he bit it to stop the tremor.

"Don't I even have the right to resist? Every hostage has a right to try to get away."

Draco frowned. His palm came up under Harry's chin, demanding that he face him once again. Draco inched closer, and his tongue grazed over the seam of Harry's lips. Harry clenched his jaw, not letting Draco go deeper, but the man only smiled against his mouth. His tongue skidded over Harry's teeth before retreating. Instead, demanding lips caught Harry's bottom lip and sucked it in.

Harry's blood pressure elevated, heating his skin. The air didn't fill his lungs anymore, and he opened his mouth to gasp thereby providing Draco a better access.

The sneaky tongue wriggled in, setting Harry's face on fire. He tried to avert his face, but Draco's fingers sliding down squeezed his neck…not enough to suffocate, but to make it difficult to breathe. Harry's brain boiled, his skin melted, and his lower body inflamed in the maddening ardour of something wrong and twisted.

Draco laughed against his mouth, and his hand disappeared from Harry's throat. He ducked his head and glanced down. His face stretched in a smug smile before he purred,

"Look what we have here…"

His hand cupped Harry's hard cock, making him flinch. Draco spoke against Harry's cheek; his voice raucous with arousal.

"Tell me the truth. Tell me you haven't been touched over the past nine months…tell me you haven't been kissed."

Harry's mouth dried up as his head gradually cooled down. His look darted from one corner of the ceiling to another, searching for something that could give him strength or distraction. Every move of Draco's body caused him to tense up, his stomach to roil.

"Did you not hear me?"

Draco's impatient breath inflamed Harry's neck,

"Answer me!"

Harry turned his head and spat out,

"Go to hell, Draco."

Draco whispered, merging their breathing into one,

"Good. I'm going to be the only person to ever touch you from now on, remember that. If you allow anyone else to ever touch you, I will destroy them, understand?"

Harry barked as soon as their lips parted,

"I hope you die, Pervert."

A nasty metallic flavour lingered on his tongue, but he didn't want to think about whose blood it was. His lips stretched in a smile. Saying that to Draco felt good.

"Is that so?"

Draco laughed, narrowing his eyes; his voice unctuous,

"You're not afraid of pain or death. That is understandable but I'm not willing to believe that you don't care about the well beings of other. I'll destroy everybody who touches you after me. I will slaughter each and every family member up to the third generation. And you … you will be standing by my side, watching innocent people die in agony, knowing that it was entirely your fault."

Harry swallowed, his smile dimmed. The weird feeling of his veins shutting off the blood flow left him with a cold, tingling sensation in his fingertips. Even though the threat sounded absurd, he somehow knew that Draco wasn't lying. Draco released Harry's softened cock from imprisonment and whispered,

"Now, be a good boy and I'll make you feel good,"

Gripping Harry's shoulder with his left hand, Draco kissed his way down his neck, nibbled on his collarbone, tracing his body with his right hand,

"You are getting aroused by your rapist's touch, and you dare to call me a pervert?"

The bullets of Draco's words penetrated Harry's heart. His eyes flashed. He wanted to say something, but Draco gagged him with another kiss. His palm landed on the sheet by Harry's right cheek as he moved between Harry's legs. Pushing the jeans with his foot, they came off Harry's ankles; Draco spread Harry's legs apart with his sharp knees.

Harry tensed. A small annoying tremor set in his limbs. His toes curled as he tried to control his muscles, but the tremor worsened. Draco's cold palm settled on his belly for a brief moment before moving lower. Every nerve in Harry's body stretched to its limits. Draco's hand, gliding over his painfully tender skin, filled Harry's head with a cacophony of shrill, panicking sounds of his thoughts.

A featherlike touch flitted down the curve of his sleeping cock, playing with his balls before settling at the thin skin between Harry's anus and balls, then inched lower.

The blood ebbed, leaving his face cold and colourless. His eyes burned. They fixed on some invisible point, and Harry wasn't able to close them. He wanted to swallow the lump in his throat, but his mouth was too dry, and his tongue stuck to his palate. The freezing wave of horrid memories washed over his body, suffocating him. The pain that tore his flesh to pieces that night, and the humiliation that crushed his heart revived every cell of his body.

"You don't have to be scared. I won't hurt you anymore."

Draco's voice came out muffled. Harry could hear something in it, something somber and odd, but couldn't figure out what exactly. The words Draco said didn't help at all. His body didn't relax but his gaze muddled. Harry's erection was long gone.

"Oh, damn it!"

Draco swore, panting. Searing Harry's skin with a long, dissatisfied breath, he moved to Harry's side, resting his back against the pillows. Harry watched as he grabbed a cigarette from the nearby drawer and struck the lighter. The vanilla aroma clouded the room, drowning both of them in silence. The thin smoke flowing from the tip of the cigarette and the glinting ring on Draco's little finger helped Harry calm down, providing a resting point for his eyes. Watching the smoke wreathing in the air for a moment, Harry's focus moved lower, catching the flashy ring.

The oval cut stone was black and completely opaque. The polished edges flashed with the light's reflection. The ring looked expensive in the heavy gold frame, as everything did that surrounded Draco. The more he stared at it, the more he wondered if Gellert had given him that. Draco took a drag and Harry flinched, falling out of his trance.

"If you are not going to do anything, cut me loose."

But the shaky words Harry spoke were ignored.

"I'm not going to rape you today, you don't have to worry, but I will put a finger inside. It's not going to hurt, I promise. In exchange, you have to satisfy me with your mouth."

Draco crushed the cigarette in an ashtray, then locked his gaze with Harry's.

"Stop daydreaming. I'm not going to satisfy you, not with my hand, not with my mouth. It will not be mutual. Do whatever you like and get it over with."

Draco's eyes tightened, his lips disappeared in a thin line, and his cheeks reddened. He grabbed Harry's hair and yanked his head toward him. The chain tightened, clanged, and bit into Harry's wrists as their noses met.

"Exactly. I'm your owner and you will obey."

The tobacco smelling words inflamed Harry's face. In an abrupt motion, Draco got on his knees, undid his belt, hitched it out of the loops, and threw it on the floor, never releasing Harry's hair. His impatient hand almost tore a button off, then yanked a zipper down. Pulling his pants down his hips with a single hand, he took out his cock, brought it to Harry's face, and ran its head over his lips. The smell of body wash and a distinctive smell of male arousal hit Harry's nose.

"Open up."

Harry tried to twist his head out of the grip; disgust spreading in his chest, watering his mouth. His fingers grasped the chain, searching for the strength in the solid cold metal, and his knees drew higher.

Draco's face distorted in a grimace, his body tensed before he pressed Harry's face to his groin.

"Open your bloody mouth!"

Harry bit out,

"No!"

He closed his eyes expecting a blow any second. But it never came. Angry fingers released his hair, retreating as Draco pulled away. He got to his feet and approached a small escritoire, picked up his wand and leaning his elbow on dark carved wood, he murmured an incantation. A masked and robed man stepped into the room and Harry wanted to die from embarrassment,

"Is Gellert busy?"

The man kept his gaze lowered and nodded his head,

"Tell him I wish to see him. It's urgent."

Draco dismissed him with a laugh, and Harry's heart sank. When the man was gone, a triumphant smile spread all over his face. A violent struggle took place inside Harry's heart. The thought of being raped in front of Grindelwald crushed his heart, but he didn't want to beg Draco to give that idea up either. Both variants were equally disgusting to him.

He closed his eyes, buried his face in his lifted arm and a small piece of the pillow, but even its softness turned against him. The faint aroma of spicy cologne and sweet cigarettes only reminded him of reality. Harry's limbs went limp as he opened his eyes, unable to contain his despair. For the first time in a long time, Harry had no idea what to do. The whole world he'd built with hard work, everything he'd accomplished, went to hell because of this man.

"Please, don't…"

He managed to squeeze out despite the thickness in his throat. If he had raised his eyes at that moment, he probably would have seen triumph in Draco's eyes. But he didn't. He kept staring at the heavy curtains. Shame and disgust flowed through him in suffocating waves.

"Don't what?"

Harry shrugged and went quiet,

"Don't call Grindelwald."

He couldn't bring himself to pronounce the words:  _I'll do it._

Draco said with slight disdain in his voice.

"Okay, I'll change my mind if you ask me nicely,"

Harry met his eyes. His heart pounded in his chest, rushing forward with pure hate. His jaw hurt…he clenched it too hard. His lips pressed together as he glared at Draco. Draco spoke and something akin to admiration ringed in his voice,

"Such a fierce look… It is a shame you can't kill with it, right? Come on, ask me. Say,  _Draco, please, I'll be obedient_. Indulge me."

Harry snapped,

"Leave me alone, bastard!"

The chains tightened, biting into his skin again. He groaned and closed his eyes, counting to ten to calm down. But ten seconds were not enough to regain his composure. He tried to imagine a waterfall again, songs of wild birds, the buzzing of bees, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

Ten minutes passed. Ten minutes of complete silence…slow, sticky. Harry lay still, hiding his face in his arm, counting seconds. Draco smoked, staring at the wall. They were both waiting.

A soft knock on the door made his heart jump. Draco drawled,

"Come in."

The same masked man stepped in and spoke,

"Master Grindelwald wishes for me to inform you that he shall be here shortly."


	52. Chapter 52

"Please…"

Harry barely heard his own voice. His head spun, skin burning, but inside he was freezing. Even his own pulse beating in his throat betrayed him, squeezing his windpipe, leaving him with no air.

Draco smiled and landed on the bed by his side; the mattress bounced under his weight. A cool palm touched Harry's cheek, gliding up and down his skin. Draco asked maintaining the derisive tone.

"Please, what?"

Leaning forward he kissed Harry's lips.

"Please, tell Grindelwald not to come…"

Draco's palm, oddly gentle, moved up and caressed his tousled locks.

 _Damn it, I must look miserable and weak. Even this bastard seems to feel sorry for me._  Harry squeezed his eyes shut,

"Will you be obedient?"

Harry nodded not saying a word, but his face couldn't conceal the storm of emotions shredding his soul apart and twisted in a grimace. Draco barked the order, discarding his remaining clothes with urgency; black pants first, then briefs and socks,

"Tell Gellert not to come."

Harry kept his eyes shut. He didn't want to see what was about to happen. He didn't want to see Draco naked, but a soft metallic clang, coming from above, drew his attention and he instinctively looked up.

Draco licked his lips and fiddled with the chain; the pressure on Harry's straining arms subdued.

Draco's hips positioning uncomfortably close to Harry's face made him shrink back. A firm hand, grabbing the chain between his cuffs, hoisted him up, forcing Harry to lift his upper body.

Standing on his knees on the soft bed, Draco gave a silent order with his chin.

"Is it really so bloody great to force someone to do something like this?"

Harry's cheek twitched, betraying his inner struggle. He jerked the chain out of Draco's hands and propped himself on one elbow.

 _Damn…_ He caught his breath as the inevitable approached his mouth. Harry swallowed and closed his eyes as soon as Draco's semi-hard cock touched his lips. The soft scent of body wash, mixed with the sharp smell of arousal, intensified. Draco's hot cock, pushing through Harry's lips, glided along his tongue, sliding deep into his throat, taking all the space in his mouth.

Wanting to retch, Harry gripped Draco's hips and pulled back, in an attempt to avoid a gag reflex. Saliva flooded his mouth, but he didn't want to swallow. Letting the liquid escape his lips, he screwed up his face, feeling a gut-wrenching tornado of suffocating disgust.

He felt the blood pumping in Draco's cock with his tongue; the throbbing pulse radiated to his jaw and temples. Harry tried to turn his brain and feelings off. Not involving his tongue, he let Draco's cock slip in and out of his mouth in a monotonous, mechanical rhythm. His head moved, but his thoughts travelled far away, melting somewhere on the edge of a dream and reality.

But it didn't last long. Savage fingers grabbed Harry's hair, tore his face away from his groin, and threw him aside. Draco complained, his voice dripping with venom,

"You are terrible. Look, it's getting soft!"

Harry retorted, rolling on his side, hating to see Draco naked and secretly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand,

"If you wanted a high-quality blowjob, why didn't you call for a professional?"

Draco chuckled, making Harry cringe. His strong hands pushed him further onto his stomach, then squeezed his strong shoulders, massaging them.

Cool fingers kneading tense muscles warmed up Harry's skin while moving along his spine toward the small of his back. Harry gulped when they skated to his ass, spreading his cheeks apart. Using his cuffed hands for support, Harry bowed his back, glancing over his shoulder. Draco's face bore a serious expression while he examined the spot,

"Look, perfectly healed,"

Draco blew a cool, strong stream of air on his entrance. Harry's shoulders tensed, and he lowered his head trying to kill all emotions. A rapid drumming in his chest resounded in his fingertips.

"Still scared?"

Draco's voice was barely audible and filled with something that in another time Harry would identify as sadness. Draco opened his mouth as if wanting to say something else but changing his mind, probably thinking that rending the air wouldn't change anything. And yeah, no matter what he said, Harry wasn't interested in listening.

Draco licked his index finger and pressed it to his hole, probing its softness. Harry flinched, goosebumps erupted all over his body as his heart drummed in his throat, then moved to his ears. He grasped the bed sheet, crumpling it in his fists as his forehead rested against his white knuckles. Draco man snapped, jerking Harry's shoulder, locking their eyes together.

"I've already said that I won't hurt you. Why don't you believe me?"

Harry yelled; his body shook with adrenaline,

"Who in their right mind would ever believe you, you twisted bastard? Do you even know much how it hurts? Let's switch and I'll show you!"

Draco smiled, and his eyes softened. Harry groaned and yanked the chain.

"What's so funny? Let me go. I'm tired."

But Draco's smile transmuted into soft chuckling. He pressed his palm to Harry's back, pinning him down to the soft mattress,

"Hurt you say? Let me apologize to that place I hurt so badly."

He spread Harry's cheeks again, and the wet warmth of his tongue landed on his tender opening. Swirling around the creased skin, it probed its way in.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop it!"

Harry's ass and back tightened. He tried to squirm away from Draco's mouth. The chain strained, clanked, and the evil steel of the handcuffs bit deep into his wrists, drawing fresh blood. His heart pounded. It was hard to think, hard to concentrate on anything other than the tongue burning his anus.

"What am I doing? Apologizing. Don't you feel it?"

Draco purred and added a finger to his tongue. The first knuckle, covered in saliva, slid into his body with slight resistance, and in a second, a whole finger pushed its way in. Draco's tongue, rounding the rim, tried to shush the small spikes of pain. Harry stopped breathing. His muscles, paralyzed with fear, cramped around the man's finger, preventing him from moving.

"Relax,"

Draco said, his other palm landed on Harry's buttock and rubbed it as his finger wiggled inside, searching for something. Harry's face tingled with the pumped blood. The disgust at the act of coercion was driving him insane. He didn't know where to put his face, how to calm his heart down, or how to get rid of the annoying noise in his head.

"On your back."

Draco ordered, withdrawing his finger from Harry's insides. Fighting the sickness and swallowing his pride, Harry rolled over. The coolness of the bed sheets met his hot back, edging his feelings. Bringing his forearms to his face, he shielded his eyes from the shame and reality.

Draco moved between his legs, spreading them wider. His palms landed on Harry's knees, traveled along his thighs, to meet in the center. Harry squirmed when one hand picked up his flaccid cock as the other sneaked under his balls and cold fingers pressed against his anus.

"Stay still."

Harry sucked some air in through clenched teeth when Draco's finger urged its way in, and a burning sensation spread through his passage. He expected the pain to worsen. It never did, instead, his cock was plunged into the torrid depth of Draco's mouth. The man's finger, probing its way blindly, stirred something inside and an itching, electric impulse ran from the bottom of his core and spread through his body, sending slight tremors to his limbs.

Harry's eyes flew wide open, his forearm slid to his mouth, shutting off his unborn moan.

What the hell? This sensation was different from anything he'd experienced before. Harry tried to swallow, but his mouth dried up. The places Draco touched burned. Inside, where the finger slid up and down his rectum, was the beginning of a powerful conflagration. The heat radiated through his body, mixing with shame and humiliation.

This isn't happening… This is not happening…With all his soul, Harry wanted to exterminate this moment from his memory by replacing it with something else.

Draco's mouth froze against his cock and his breath, that was hot only a moment ago, cooled down on Harry's wet flesh. The man wiped his saliva glistening mouth with his forearm and crawled up the bed until his face was level with Harry's. His rapid breathing tickled Harry's lips. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and Draco growled,

"Don't you dare close your eyes. Look at me when I'm blowing you."

Harry met his merciless grey eyes with his hazy gaze, and a cocky smile inhabited Draco's face. He nodded, licked his lips, and slid down again, closing his mouth around the reddened flesh, pushing a hoarse breath out of Harry's lungs.

A stubborn tongue circled around the head, gathering the first precum drops from the slit, then drifted lower. Stilling for a second, it rubbed across the frenulum, sending jolts of ticklish pleasure through Harry's body.

It felt weird and wrong, but somehow the order that Draco had brushed against his lips never let Harry look away. Through the smog of his forced arousal, battling to keep control over his body, Harry stared at Draco's face amazed with one thought, how the hell can anybody look that smug with a cock in their mouth? But the thought melted in a heartbeat, yielding to the strained pleasure.

Draco's tongue slid down Harry's length, circled around the drawn-up balls. Skimming lower, it met with his finger somewhere in the depth and his nose brushed against tight balls, rolling them around.

Fighting the upcoming orgasm Harry bit his lip again, but the pain only spiked his sensations. His head was heavy, hot, and thoughtless. It fell backward, stretching the skin on his throat as harsh, accelerated breathing broke out of his chest in a pulsing manner. Looking for a support, Harry's fingers grasped the chain as his toes curled, crumpling the bed sheet.

A painful electric ball, charging in his lower abdomen, reached its limit and was about to detonate. Harry clenched his muscles, trying to suppress the inevitable.

"Draco, stop…"

He whispered, losing control over his body, but his words only encouraged the man. Draco's fingers became forceful and the flicks of his tongue even faster,

"No… I don't want to…"

Harry wrenched his head, fighting his body, quenching a groan. A violent electric discharge stroked through his core, sending vicious waves to his limbs, enveloping him in a hot, maddening climax. He doubled over; a chain clanked, stretched to the limit.


	53. Chapter 53

Time stretched, then stopped, and everything dimmed. His vision failed as the blood rushed to his ears, pulsing somewhere behind his eyes. Falling apart, he gulped down the air, emptying himself in Draco's mouth.

The last jolt of pleasure shot through his body and vanished as everything fell silent. Harry's body softened, relaxed, and fell back onto the pillow, painting white sheets with red drops of blood from his cuffed wrists.

Draco swallowed, licked his lips, rising on his elbows. Shifting, he flattened himself by Harry's side and landed his palm on Harry's heavily breathing torso. Caressing Harry's stomach with his fingers Draco radiated contentment.

"Am I delusional again, or could it be that you called my name when you were coming?"

Harry opened his eyes in confusion, peered into the derisive eyes of his tormentor, but when blood flooded his face along with the memories, he averted his gaze.

"Did you enjoy it?"

Draco asked, his tone relentless,

"I can make it even better."

But without waiting for a reply, he grabbed Harry's hair and licked his lips, letting Harry taste himself in his mouth. Parting from Harry's lips, Draco sat up on his knees,

"Now let's try again. You know how to lick ice cream, right? Open your mouth and make me feel good."

Draco's naked body emitted the heady scent of arousal as the clear evidence of his passion, filled with blood, spilled crystal drops on the crumpled sheets. The back of his right hand came up to Harry's cheekbone, slid down his prickling skin, before the curious thumb hooked Harry's bottom lip and parted his clenched teeth. Draco's face flushed as his eyelids dropped, half covering grey irises. His thumb sneaked deeper, rubbing Harry's tongue before pinning it down and using his grip to tug Harry's face closer to his groin. The violent-red head appeared in front of Harry's face as another crystal-clear drop beaded out of Draco's slit. Harry closed his eyes, unable to watch.

"Look at me."

Draco forced out, smearing precum all over Harry's red, bitten lips. Harry scowled but complied. Locking his gaze with Draco's, he struggled for a moment but overcame himself and flexed his mouth, taking the wet tip in.

"Now be a good boy and listen to what I say. Try to follow."

Draco licked his lips. His chest billowed with ragged breathing as Harry's tongue merged with the slippery head. Warm drops spilled all over Harry's mouth and his throat closed up in a reflex. The nasty, gut-wrenching disgust struggled to overpower his self-control but he fought it. He had to get this over with.

"Relax your throat and take it deeper. As deep as you can. That's right, good boy."

Draco let his head fall back, revealing a long throat with a well-defined Adam's apple. His chest rose and fell in a hastening pattern as his fingers weaved with Harry's long raven black locks,

"Now stick your tongue out,"

He said, his voice low and hoarse. His hand imposed a certain rhythm to Harry's movements, chasing his pleasure,

"Lick it as if it's melted ice cream. Yeah, right… very good… from all sides… ohhhh damn…"

A soft muffled moan broke out from Draco's lips, and Harry almost choked on saliva. His gaze darted from Draco's throat to the rippled relief of his torso, where flexible muscles constantly rolled under the pale skin with every slight movement of his body. Thick veins, pumped with blood, showed through the skin on his neck, arms, and groin. Streaming down the length of his cock, they pulsed on Harry's tongue. Harry's cheeks warmed and uneasiness settled in his lower body. He squirmed.

Draco's smooth skin, stretched over firm muscles, gleaming with tiny droplets of sweat. The gliding sensation in Harry's mouth, and a potent smell emitting from Draco's heated groin, messed with Harry's head. Boiling blood rushed down his lower abdomen and his flesh hardened as the cock in his mouth swelled, ready to spill. Ashamed, Harry squirmed again, trying to hide and subdue his physical reactions.

Draco's gaze, fogged with languor, groped Harry's body, but when he reached his lower part, it cleared and focused. Draco glanced at him and his lips parted in astonishment.

"Wow. You got a hard-on from sucking me off?"

He pulled out so fast that Harry didn't have a chance to react. A wet, disgusting sound assaulted Harry's ears. A few drops of saliva left his mouth and rolled down his chin, leaving wet sticky trails on his skin.

Draco swallowed and silver flames of passion swirled in the depth of his eyes. He leaned forward, and a soft, warm tongue brushed over Harry's chin and lips, gathering the moisture. Harry recoiled, wiping the kiss off on the pillow, uncomfortable and ashamed for his body reactions.

The chains clanked, releasing the hold on Harry's handcuffs. Sagging against the pillows, as if in a comfortable chair, Draco grabbed Harry's wrists, dragging him closer.

Struggling, fighting himself, Harry obeyed. He tilted his head, bit his lip, crushing the remains of his pride, lowered onto Draco's lap, using the man's shoulder for support, painting them in a dirty red of his dried blood. Trying not to draw attention to his manipulations, he landed as far from Draco's hard cock as he could, then let out a soft breath. His gaze ran all over the muscular torso in a desperate search for a weak point. Failing.

The skin to skin contact made him even more aware of Draco's and his own nudity. The hot skin under his sweaty fingers, Draco's audible breathing, the coolness of his thighs under his ass, and the air, running along his hot and exposed crotch—everything assaulted his senses. Everything was against him.

Draco swallowed. Swathes of mist swirled in the abyss of his eyes. Arousal painted his face, intensifying the red of his lips as firm fingers squeezed Harry's buttocks, tugging him closer.

"Kiss me,"

Draco ordered. His pupils, taking all the space, pushed the irises to the edges, shrinking them to tiny rings. Harry's face twisted. His gaze jumped around the room, searching for any possible escape route, not willing to follow the command.

"I gave you a clear order, didn't I? Should I force you?"

Harry's lips quivered as he looked down at Draco's lips. A pathetic smile bloomed on his face when he mentally gave up. His limbs weakened, his throat sore, and a bitter taste flooded his mouth. Something twisted in his stomach and he felt the point of gravity shift, moving in his guts, creating a small black hole. This hole sucked in his internals, emptying his body from everything unnecessary, trying to reach the perfection of void. Defeated, smashed by his complete insignificance, Harry whispered,

"You are such a bastard. I'll kill you with my bare hands."

His lips, barely done talking were instantly covered by Draco's, and the salty taste of blood filled his mouth again.


	54. Chapter 54

Draco tasted the blood too, but the predator in his nature only smiled under the kiss. He pressed Harry's body against his own skin, and his cock poked Harry's belly, marking it with his scent and drops of desire. His palms burned with a need to crush his body, make Harry fall apart, wreck his soul and his body to squeeze moans of pain and pleasure out of his arrogant mouth.

Gripping Harry's hips, he sizzled, controlling his demons. Breaking Harry now would be too easy, too fast for his liking. He wanted to stretch the pleasure, to enjoy each and every drop of his resilient energy, every emotion he could extract from Harry's beautiful body.

The room swam before his eyes, melting, evaporating. His head too hot to contain any thoughts. He hadn't felt this aroused since… he couldn't even remember wanting anybody so badly. Those resistant emerald eyes looked so beautiful overwhelmed with hurt, pride, and defenceless indignity and they messed with his mind.

He sweltered; his head switched off. He needed something, not just something. He needed Harry Only he could quench this insatiable want. His fingers slid down, found a crease. Harry tensed in his arms, sucked a breath through clenched teeth, and dug his fingertips into his chest.

The closeness of Harry's body, clinging to his own, was driving him insane. The way Harry reacted to his touch, the sounds he made, the way he fought. The high he got from it made him dizzy with euphoria. He could only compare this feeling to taming a wild animal with his bare hands.

Draco's other hand slunk between their damp torsos, and his fingers wound around two cocks, moving blood pumped flesh up and down. Scorching breaths erupting from Harry's mouth tickled his neck. Draco smiled. Catching Harry's lips with his own, he ran his hand across Harry's hips, then dug deeper and rubbed his entrance before pushing one finger into the hot, squirming body. Harry tensed, his entrance clenched around his finger, interrupting movements.

"Relax,"

He ordered in a low voice. But even if Harry wanted to follow his orders, he looked lost, as if he didn't know how. His face strained, and Draco realized…he was in pain. He wanted to see him in pain but right now he needed him to relax. He pulled out, licked his finger wet and tried to insert it again.

"Don't hold your breath, relax your stomach… Good. Now push out on me,"

He whispered the orders scalding Harry's neck with his words. His other hand worked in a slow deliberate rhythm, mixing the thick texture of their dripping desires together.

Harry winced, his face twisted with disgust. At that moment Draco thought, if provided with a weapon, Harry would probably have committed suicide, unable to contain the shame that jerked his facial muscles. Harry tore the air with his teeth, and his muscles relaxed letting Draco's finger in.

"Good boy."

Draco muttered as his finger searched for the prostate gland. Harry's body tensed, his fingers trembled, reverberating against Draco's skin. Hot and damp, his forehead nestled against his sweaty neck as Harry dug his fingers into his shoulders, bleaching his reddened skin with the hardness of his grip.

I'll be damned! He was hotter than his wildest dreams. Harry had exceeded all his expectations. Draco thought. His skin tingled, and his heart accelerated its rhythm. His finger left warm insides as he hooked his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. Leaving two prominent erections to rub against each other, he reached for Harry's face, raising it up.

A thick fog clouded Harry's half-opened eyes. His skin glowed with the colour of arousal and scarlet blood trickled down his chin. Draco tilted his head, drawing his brows together. Touching Harry's chin with his thumb, he tried to wipe away the blood trail but only smeared it over the delicate jawline.

"Don't bite yourself."

The urge to taste those red, bloody lips was overpowering. Draco bent his torso forward merging their breathing together. He wavered for a second before licking the blood from Harry's lips. Harry froze, then dodged his touch. His hands hit Draco's the chest as Harry attempted to get off Draco's lap.

"Stay."

Draco uttered, pressing the body to himself. His hands landed on Harry's back. The violent beating of Harry's heart betrayed his inner fear and confusion, echoed in Draco's fingers.

"What the hell are you doing? That's disgusting,"

Harry spoke, shivering as he tried to push him away with his cuffed hands. Wriggling his body, he unconsciously rubbed his cock and stomach against Draco's erection, inflaming his desire.

"Stay still."

Draco breathed, cupping Harry's nape with one palm as his other hand fondled Harry's back, trailing it up and down as if he was trying to imprint the relief of Harry's body into his memory.

Several seconds later, assured that Harry had given up fighting, Draco snaked his right hand between their bodies again, wrapping his fingers around their throbbing cocks. His thumb landed on top, rubbing across moist tips, spreading warm fluid along their lengths.

A minute… then another, filled with raucous breathing and wet noise.

Harry didn't look like he could think straight anymore. The grip of his fingers tightened as he arched his chest, pressing himself against the solid frame of his body. Bloody lips parted, and Harry closed his eyes letting his head fall back.

Draco couldn't divert his eyes from Harry, drinking in his flowing expressions, afraid to miss even the slightest change. His fingers found his tight hole again, wormed inside, probing his sweet spot.

Harry's stomach tensed, and bright red spots popped all over the skin of his neck and shoulders, spreading down his chest. His lips curled, exposing teeth as he gasped for air and let his weight fall forward. His head found its rest on his collarbone, and a stream of his sweat seeped down his chest.

Harry's scent thrilled Draco's nose. Without thinking, he leaned closer and kissed a trail from Harry's temple down his neck, savouring the taste of Harry's heated body. A soft cry resounded in his tympanic membranes. It was faint and muffled. Powerless. Draco couldn't help but store it in his memory. Engrossing in it, he nearly missed the moment when the hot fluid pumped out of Harry's cock, squirting cum on his hand and stomach.

The mixed pain and pleasure on Harry's face sent boiling blood into Draco's head, narrowing his vision on the Harry's hooded eyes. When the last spasm faded, he tore Harry's hands off his own shoulder and put them down on his dick. His fingers shook, palms wet. Several seconds of stimulation…that's all it took to throw him into the abyss of a climax. His cheek pressing to Harry's as he absorbed the faint, heady smell of the skin. The last sweet spasm melted into the serenity of satisfaction. Draco smiled as the marvellous emptiness inhabited his frame.

Leaning back against the pillows, he reached for a cigarette. Only when he'd lit up did he glance at Harry and almost dropped the lighter. Harry's emerald eyes were colder than arctic ice. The consuming passion, flaming in his dilated pupils that had been there only a minute ago, had vanished. Harry looked calm and distant and perfectly lethal and damn if that didn't turn him on all over again. He took a long drag from his cigarette and blew out the smoke over Harry's face. Harry coughed, and he found it utterly endearing,

"You're so strong, yet so weak, Harry. I've always loved that about you."


	55. Chapter 55

He pushed himself into a sitting position and spoke,

"Uncuff me, I want to take a shower."

Draco smirked, and his grey eyes glinted with amusement as he blew out another puff of smoke,

"You know you can't rid yourself of me no matter how many times you shower."

Harry closed his eyes,

"It's just a bloody shower, Draco."

Draco chuckled and undid the cuffs around his wrists. He couldn't stop the whimper that escaped his lips when he saw how savagely injured they were. Draco grabbed his hands before he could pull them away and ran his fingers over the lacerations. He bit his tongue to hold back a cry and Draco gripped his chin,

"What did I tell you about biting yourself?"

Harry let go of his tongue and cried out when Draco dug his nail into one of the deeper cuts,

"Damn, Harry. The sounds you make just drive me insane."

Draco let go of his hands and Harry pulled them close to his chest immediately as he fought the waves of nausea that were assaulting. He managed to stumble out of bed and drag himself to the bathroom before slamming the door closed. He was instantly greeted by his reflection and he cursed internally. He wasn't weak. He wasn't going to break. He needed a plan to get away from here. He threw up in the sink and slumped to the tiled floor as his stomach contracted painfully. He wasn't sure how much more of this he'd be able to take. Voldemort had raped him, tortured him but it hadn't been as bad as this. Damn, he hated the man. He hated Voldemort with everything he had left in him. He took the support of the sink and pushed himself to his feet as he took another look at his reflection, the outline of a plan beginning to form in his head.

Dragging himself under the shower, he turned the water to scalding hot, so that it might wash away the impurities from his skin. He rubbed his skin until it was raw and red and once he felt clean enough, he wrapped a towel around himself and calmly made his way to the mirror. Drawing in a deep breath, he punched it once, twice and then thrice. At first the crack in the glass was small, barely the length of a hair pin. It shone almost bluish in the subdued light. Harry ran his bare finger over the top to see if it was all the way through. He couldn't help but smirk when it accelerated, branching like a drunk spider's web before imploding. Harry shut his eyes tight and a million knives fell over his exposed skin. He froze, all but his heart remaining statue-like on the wet tile. When finally he allowed his eyelids to flutter open he saw that the ground was stained red, the colour creeping outward among the shards. Before, Draco could come in, he kicked one of the larger shards underneath the bath tub and hoped with all his life that Draco didn't find it.

Draco was there in the bathroom and dragging him out and before he knew it, he was pinned to the bed,

"What the hell were you trying to do?"

Harry closed his eyes and just laughed in response while his heart raced in his chest. Draco pinned his injured wrists over his head and growled,

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

Harry opened his eyes and stared deep into Draco's grey eyes,

"I wouldn't be breathing right now if I wanted to end my life. I just didn't like what I saw in the mirror when I stood in front of it so I broke it just like you broke me."

Draco struck him hard across the face and Harry nuzzled his cheek into the mattress and laughed some more,

"At the rate you're going, you'll kill me. I won't have to do anything."

Draco released him and straightened up,

"You're right. Maybe, I am being too rough with you."

Harry covered his face with his forearm and spoke,

"Leave me alone. I want to sleep."

Draco chuckled and patted him on the cheek softly,

"Why can't you sleep with me in the room?"

Harry closed his eyes sighed,

"Because, you're an intrusive bastard and creepy as hell."

Draco laughed and spoke,

"Go to sleep. I'll try not to stare at you too much."


	56. Chapter 56

He lay on his side and stared at the dark curtains as he clutched the covers to himself. He had managed to fall asleep despite Draco's stalkerish gaze and woken up some time ago. He had come to realize that Draco had healed him because there wasn't a single mark of the abuse he had inflicted on him. Harry wished that there was. He needed those marks, that pain to remind him of everything that he'd gone through. He needed it to fuel that fire that was burning him up from the inside out.

He'd had enough. He deserved a healthy, happy life with his son and he was willing to go to any lengths to attain that. He was done sticking to moralities. They'd never gotten him anything but pain and misery. He turned on his side and stared up at the ceiling. The shard was his ticket out of here provided that it was still there and he used it properly. This time he couldn't afford to be impatient. This time he had wait for the right time and the right moment to make his move.

The door opened and Harry's body instinctively stiffened. Grindelwald's laughter filled the room and Draco spoke,

"Behave yourself, Gellert."

Harry sat up straight and Draco sat down in front of him,

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

Harry fisted the covers and replied,

"Fine."

Grindelwald chuckled,

"You've certainly tamed him."

Draco reached forward to touch him and Harry flinched back despite what he'd just been telling himself about being brave. A grin crossed Draco's features as he grabbed a lock of his hair and rubbed it between his fingers,

"No, I haven't. I don't want to tame him, I want him as fiercely defiant and brave as the first time I saw him."

Harry leaned back against the headboard and Draco released the lock of his hair and ran his fingers over his newly healed wrist,

"Thank me for healing you."

Harry shook his head and held Draco's gaze,

"No… you caused those wounds in the first place, so gratitude is the last thing I feel towards you."

Draco laughed and turned to Grindelwald,

"You see, Gellert. He's as strong willed as ever."

Grindelwald had settled down in a chair and smirked,

"Yes, I can see why you find him amusing."

Draco turned back to him and cupped his cheek,

"What's the first thing you feel towards me?"

Harry made sure that he held Draco's gaze when he spoke,

"Hate."

Draco patted him on the cheek and whispered.

"Ouch, you just hurt my feelings."

Harry tipped his head back and laughed,

"You don't have feelings. If you had them then you wouldn't abuse me the way you do."

Draco gasped and leaned closer to him,

"Abuse? No, Harry…I haven't been abusing you…"

Harry wanted to punch him then but refrained and ground out,

"What do you call it then?"

Draco grazed his cheek with his knuckle and whispered,

"Abuse is when you misuse something, right?"

Harry nodded begrudgingly, and Draco ran his thumb over his lips, parting them,

"You were made to be abused, Harry. So as far as I see it, I'm putting you to good use."

Harry was about to speak when Draco forced his thumb into his mouth and spoke as his eyes glinted challengingly,

"Suck on it like a good boy and don't you dare use your teeth. You know what I'm capable of doing to you of you disobey me."

Harry closed his eyes and Draco gripped his hair with his other hand,

"Eyes on me, sweetheart."

Harry forced his eyes open and fought back the tears that welled in them as he sucked on Draco's thumb. Draco's grip loosened on his hair and he spoke,

"You're allowed to cry. Haven't I told you that you look absolutely beautiful when you cry?"

Harry continued to fight his tears and Draco withdrew his thumb from his mouth and tsked,

"Do you remember that day when Voldemort assigned me to watch over you in that tent and you fell asleep?"

Harry could only nod as he clamped his lips shut lest Draco force his thumb back in. Draco eyes shone with obsessive lust as he ran a finger down his throat,

"I watched you while you slept. That was the day I noticed how gorgeous you really were…the day I first wanted to kiss your lips and touch you… But then the Dark Lord came and grabbed you…I didn't want to see you get hurt at that moment but he forced me to watch as he ordered you to take off your robes and you obeyed him."

Draco yanked his head back by his hair, leaned forward and kissed his exposed throat just like Voldemort had done that day and he couldn't help but tremble,

"He asked me whether you were gorgeous. Do you remember what I said?"

Harry could only nod his head as he silently grieved his rotten luck. Draco struck him hard across the face and tightened his hold on his hair,

"This is how he slapped you, didn't he?"

Draco laughed as he gripped his jaw and ran his finger over his lips,

"He asked me whether I was worthy of claiming these lips. I was so bloody terrified of him then but when I thought about it afterwards I just knew that I would have to make myself worthy. And now look at me, Harry…Look how worthy I am…"

Harry knew what was coming next and he covered his lips with his hand before Draco could kiss them. Draco laughed and yanked his hand away before pushing him back against the headboard and kissing him hard and rough. He bit on his lower lip just like Voldemort had done and forced his tongue into his mouth. Harry fought it…He writhed under Draco's hold, struggled to push him away as he ran out of air but failed. Just when he thought he was going to black out by the lack of oxygen, Draco pulled away and licked away the blood from his ruptured lip before grabbing his shoulders tight,

"What happened next, Harry?"

Harry drew in a deep breath and spoke as calmly as possible,

"He told me to take off my shirt and showed you my back."

Draco licked his lips and his hold tightened on his shoulders,

"That was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen."

Harry looked up when Draco gripped his chin and forced him to face him as he asked the question, Voldemort had asked him that day,

"Who do you belong to, Harry?"

Harry held Draco's gaze and spoke,

"I belong to no one."

Draco chuckled before straddling him and undid the top button of his shirt,

"Wrong answer. Try again."

Harry repeated as determinedly as possible,

"I belong to no one."

Draco tsked as he undid another button,

"Harry, I'm warning you. If you don't give me the right answer by the time these buttons end then I will violate you in front of Gellert…In fact, maybe I'll let him participate too."

Harry shuddered uncontrollably at the thought and Draco ran a finger over his now exposed chest,

"You don't like that idea, do you? Well, I'm going to ask you again. Who do you belong to, Harry?"

Harry couldn't bring himself to say it and Draco undid another button. He knew he only had one more to go on his shirt and then another one on his jeans. It was just a sentence. They were just words. Saying them wouldn't make him Draco's property but he couldn't bring himself to say them and Draco undid the last button on his shirt and roughly yanked it off his shoulders. Harry shivered when the cold air hit his exposed skin and mentally willed himself to say the word. Draco touched the spot right over the button of his jeans and pressed down on it,

"Last chance. Who do you belong to, Harry?"

Harry held Draco's gaze and his voice broke when he spoke,

"You."

Draco grinned ferally and spoke,

"Tell Gellert who you belong to."

Harry lowered his gaze and it took everything he had in him to speak,

"I…I belong to Draco Malfoy."


	57. Chapter 57

Harry sat in his office, struggling to get the ring off his finger. He believed that it was the reason he couldn't use his magic. He was seriously considering chopping off his finger when a knock on the door forced his attention to it,

"Come in."

David walked in and Harry went right back to what he had been doing before he had come. He hated him and everyone else who had led him to this point. David grabbed his hands before he could hurt himself and spoke,

"Stop it."

Harry yanked his hands out of his grip and ground out,

"Don't you dare touch me."

David took a few steps away from him and spoke,

"Do not hurt yourself."

Harry rose to his feet and looked at him,

"Oh, so everyone else is allowed to hurt me but I can't hurt myself?"

David just stared at him with nothing but pain on his face and Harry sat back down and laughed,

"Don't give me that bloody look. What do you want, David?"

He was struggling to get the ring off again when the voice he now hated more than anything else spoke,

"Look at me, Harry."

Harry looked up, just in time to see David's feature morph into Voldemort's and it felt like his world tipped over. He pushed away the chair as he stumbled to his feet and took a few staggering steps backwards as he took in Voldemort's familiar features, his high cheek bones, his lips, his brown eyes…The earth vanished from underneath his feet and he fell to his knees. He closed his eyes and covered his ears,

"This isn't real…this isn't real…this isn't real…"

Voldemort was holding him then and Harry screamed but he muffled it effectively by clamping a hand down over his mouth. He kept his eyes shut and fought his hold, but Voldemort's hold was unrelenting on his body and he whispered,

"Calm down."

Harry shook his head and fought harder but he had never won against Voldemort and he knew he wouldn't be able to win now. Hate burned through his body along with pain and rage. Before Harry knew it, he found his wrists restrained and a gagged. Voldemort propped him up against the wall and spoke,

"Listen to me."

Harry glared at him, hoping that he projected every ounce of hate he was feeling,

"I am here to take you away from here."

Harry struggled against the restraints and shouted again but the gag muffled it and Voldemort cupped his face before speaking,

"I know you despise me. You have every right to, but our son needs you. Destrian needs you."

Harry struggled harder against the restraints at Destrian's name but found himself unable to move. Destrian wasn't their son. He was his son…just his…Voldemort had no right to stake a claim over him. And then it hit him all at once. Why Destrian had never cried in David's arms, why he had been so comfortable with him from the start. He closed his eyes and tears streamed down his cheeks. Voldmeort had been with him from the start. He'd been there, right in front of his eyes. He should have known…he should have known…He'd spent the year crying for him, yearning for him, aching for him and Voldemort had probably taken sadistic glee in watching him suffer for him,

"I am taking you away."

Harry closed his eyes and relaxed in the restraints. If Voldemort wanted to help him escape, then who was he to resist. He would take his son and go somewhere far away. Voldemort was about to lift him to his feet when Grindelwald chuckled,

"I knew you would turn up sooner or later."

Harry struggled against the restraints as Voldemort rose to his feet and faced Grindelwald,

"Gellert Grindelwald, I was hoping to meet you."

Harry felt Grindelwald's icy blue gaze rest on him and he smiled,

"Do not fret, Harry. I shall return you to Draco very soon."

Voldemort came to stand in front of him, blocking Grindelwald's view,

"Draco?"

Harry closed his eyes as Grindelwald laughed,

"Hasn't your spouse told you who he's been sleeping with these days? Harry, haven't you told him who you belong to?"

Voldemort growled,

"He is not going anywhere."

Grindelwald stepped forward and chuckled,

"Au contraire, he shall be going with me and so will you."

Voldemort raised his wand and snarled,

"You can certainly try."

Even with his eyes closed, he could see the sparks flying as Voldemort and Grindelwald duelled and he wished with all his heart that Voldemort won because returning to Draco wasn't an option he could afford. Harry lost track of time and space as the duel just went on and on and when silence fell, Harry cracked open an eyelid to find that Voldemort was gone and Grindelwald stood over him with a wicked grin on his face,

"He abandoned you once again. Time to go home, Harry."


	58. Chapter 58

He lay on the bed while Luna tended to his injuries. He hadn't been able to stop the tears that continued to stream down his eyes ever since he had left Harry back there. Luna tsked,

"This was meant to happen."

He covered his face with his forearm and shuddered violently as he imagined what Harry would be going through at this very moment. They would probably be torturing him…hurting him…Harry was right to hate him. He had given him nothing but pain and suffering. Destrian's crying echoed through the house and Luna spoke softly,

"Your son needs you."

He repressed a sob. Destrian didn't need him…he needed Harry. He had seen the longing in Harry's eyes that day at the ball when he had seen Destrian. It had shattered him. Luna stepped away and he sat up straight.

Every particle of his being had wanted to stay with Harry today…wanted to protect him, save him…but Grindelwald was stronger than he had originally imagined, and it wouldn't have done Harry any good if he'd been caught as well so getting away had been the only option. He detested himself for it but there had been no other way. One of the twins brought a wailing Destrian into the room and he extended his arms to take him. He instantly stopped crying as soon as he was in his embrace and regarded with his curious crimson gaze. More tears flowed down his cheeks and he rested his forehead against Destrian's,

"I couldn't bring him back…I failed…"

Destrian sniffled and he pressed a kiss to his forehead before holding him to his chest. Luna placed the baby bottle on the side table and spoke,

"He needs to be fed."

He nodded silently, and Luna walked out of the room with one of the twins on her side. For a few moments, he just cradled Destrian to his chest but then Destrian began to kick his arms and legs and he knew that he was hungry. Carefully, he settled him in his lap and held the bottle to his lips. Destrian never allowed anyone else to feed him. It was only recently that he had even allowed other people to hold him without crying. He stroked his silky black locks gently as he fed. It was easy to see that he was going to resemble Harry when he would grow up. He had his nose and his hair definitely was rebellious.

When Destrian was done feeding, he pulled away the bottle. Destrian was looking up at him expectantly and he knew what he wanted now. He picked up his wand from the side table and drew the smoky shapes in the air. Instantly the sound of Destrian's giggles echoed through the room and he looked up to see everyone standing in the doorway and watching the show. This was everyone's favorite part of the day because Destrian's laughter was something magical. It filled everyone up with hope and made everyone forget their worries.

He made the objects move and Destrian giggled louder but it did nothing to lessen the despair that was drowning his heart. He looked up at the people standing in the doorway…Bella, Sirius, The twins, Luna and Remus…. They were all equally worried for Harry's wellbeing. They were all working hard to get him away from those monsters.

Soon enough, Destrian's giggles died down and he fell asleep, clutching one of his strands in his tiny fist. Luna stepped back into the room and placed a potion on the side table,

"You need to drink that and get some rest as well."

He eyed the potion before picking it up and downing it in one. He winced when Destrian tugged on his hair in his sleep and couldn't help but smile when saw the smile gracing Destrian's face. He imagined that Destrian dreamt about Harry when he slept. Carefully he laid Destrian beside him before laying down as well and pulling him to his chest. Luna left the room and closed the door behind her. Sleep wasn't far away, and the injuries combined with the potion put him under in seconds.

* * *

The room was drowned in the soft lighting of night lamps. For the first time in his captivity, the fireplace was lit and well fed with sweet-smelling wood and yellow, crackling fire. The wolf pelt, spreading its hollow legs apart, stared at the fire with sparkly glass eyes. The smell of wood and fire overpowered the smell of vanilla tobacco inherent in Draco's bedroom.

Draco sat in an armchair, smoking. His blonde hair came down over his opaque, emotionless face. His thin, neurotic fingers rolled a cigarette, thick smoke emitting from the tip. Harry's gaze dropped down, fixing on Draco's chest hugged by a Chinese style, snowy-white silk shirt.

Clenching his teeth, Harry pulled his shoulders back and looked up for a second, linking his gaze with the soulless eyes of his captor. Even if it was the last day of his life, he intended to spend it with dignity.

His heartbeat drummed in his ears.

Harry shut his eyes, trying to suppress his emotions. Leaning against the wall, covered with silk, goldish wallpaper, he waited. He didn't intend to initiate conversation. He had nothing to say. He wasn't going to apologize, wasn't going to beg for mercy, hence he had no reason to waste oxygen.

The pause stretched, but it seemed it only disturbed him. Draco's metallic eyes slightly glinted in the gloom, informing Harry he watched him.

Draco crushed the cigarette in one casual move. Red sparks scattered over the ashtray's base. He pushed to his feet with cat-like grace and approached Harry. The heavy, spicy scent of Draco's cologne hit Harry's face, making him hold his breath. Draco snapped his fingers and Harry's shirt vanished. Leaving Harry's shoulders unprotected from the heated air in the room. Draco ordered, pointing to the bed; his voice ringing with metal.

"On your stomach!"

Harry looked at the bed and back at Draco. His chest tightened as he drew back.

"What?"

Pure, raw anger distorted Draco's features. He grabbed Harry's elbow and shoved him on the bed as if he was an old boring toy. He growled,

"On. Your. Stomach!"

Draco's knees sagged into the mattress as his palm slapped Harry's back, pressing him deeper into the sheets. His hand caught the chain between the cuffs and forced Harry's hands up, securing them with a carabiner within seconds. Ruthless hands moved lower, snaking under Harry's stomach and undid his fly. Draco was rough, his movements jerky, careless. A cold wave of fear washed over Harry. He had seen Draco like this only once, and he still remembered that tearing pain shredding his body apart.

Hooking his fingers in the waist of Harry's jeans, Draco tore them down in one go, then shuffled to Harry's legs and swaddled each of his ankles in cool leather. Harry felt his legs being forced apart and heard a metallic click. He looked over his shoulder; blood drained from his skin. Draco's face was deadpan when he cuffed his legs to the bed pillars, securing each lock with small carabiners. He wasn't supposed to be afraid. This had happened before. This was nothing new. But chills, crawled down his spine, vibrated in his shaking voice and betrayed fear and anxiety,

"W-what are you doing?"

Draco picked up a black long object from the floor and cracked it in the air. Harry's heart stopped. Another crack made him flinch. The black leather bullwhip in Draco's hands looked bloodthirsty. He'd been whipped twice before but…but that did nothing to lessen his terror. Draco replied, a wicked gleam twinkling in his eyes,

"I'm punishing you,"

Sweat broke through Harry's skin. His fingers shook, he had to grab the chain to stop the tremor; his muscles tensed and sour taste filled his mouth. The determination to face his fate like a man vanished. The thought of what Draco intended to do ricocheted in his head, piercing his brain, letting his fear out,

"I had nothing to do with it, why can't you understand that?"

Draco assured, his tone sincere,

"I do understand…And now I have to punish you. When a slave escapes, he has to be punished. Otherwise, he could run again. Do you know how runaway slaves used to be punished?"

His voice filled with ice, but Harry didn't reply. Realization fell upon him. It didn't matter what he said, what he did, even if he begged for forgiveness; nothing would change. This was a considered, planned revenge—vicious, merciless, ruthless.

_What did I expect?_

Harry felt like an idiot for hoping that Draco would understand him. Simple as that…this was the way to show Harry his place, to rub his nose in his own insignificance, crush the remains of his pride.

_I am just a toy to him, nothing more._

Draco hissed,

"They got whipped."

And the whip shot up in the air only to be cracked down on his bare skin. Harry jolted. Scorching pain seared the skin between his shoulder blades, pushing a burst of air out of his lips. His mouth fell open, expelling short, shallow breaths. The chains clanged in his shaky fingers as he tried to accommodate the incandescent pain. Had it always been this bad?

It seemed Draco wasn't in a hurry. He let him recover and watched him wriggle.

Gulping his own breath, Harry tried to slow down his fluttering heart and clear his muddy vision. His head ducked as the last traces of pain crept through his body, leaving behind a burning but endurable ache.

The next blow came without warning. Harry's muscles tensed as the keen whip whirled through the air again, and a flaming stripe cut his skin high on his left hip. Harry sucked the air through his teeth. His back arched, his body tensed. He wanted to scream, but couldn't let Draco win. Grinding his teeth, he waited for the pain to lessen.

He was forced to yell as the burning leather snake shook him across the back again. Overflowing pain left no place for thoughts, stubbornness, or determination. He yanked the chains, and his eyes lost focus. His vision swam. His fingers shook gripping the chain.

Then again, without waiting. And again… and again…

The intolerable pain screamed through his body, intensifying with every lick of the bullwhip. His face drenched with salt, and he closed his eyes wiping the sweat off on the pillow. His body shook in adrenaline and pain as hit after hit crashed down on his sweat soaked back.

Scream after scream left his lips until everything around him merged with gloom.

* * *

Every measured lick of the bullwhip landed on Harry's back with perfect accuracy. Flawless red welts, one by one, decorated skin, warming up the rolling knots of Harry's backs. Deep enough to leave perfect, long-lasting, sore welts, but not enough to draw blood.

Draco inhaled the heady smell of wet leather and sweat, closing his eyes for a second. The swishing sounds of the leather, cutting through the air, the loud slaps of its tongue against bare skin, the muffled groans, and the arch of Harry's gorgeous back intoxicated him. His head heated up as his vision lost the corners to darkness. The mist of euphoria flowed in his system.

Draco swallowed and opened his eyes, watching the jolts of pain streaming through Harry's limbs. Congested in agony, Harry was mesmerizing.

His muffled screams, the jerks of chained limbs and shoulders, the sweat streaming down his slender back, and the tossing of his beautiful head spurting sweat around the bed sheets. Everything triggered something raw and brutal in the pit of Draco's core.

Draco rolled his shoulders. Burning under the thin layer of silk, he tugged on his collar, trying to find some relief in the cool air sneaking under his shirt. His mouth parched, and he licked his lips.

This wasn't enough. His blood boiled, his heartbeat echoed in his throat and groin. The room soaked in the darkness with every swish of the whip.

His arm went back, and the hungry leather zapped down on Harry's skin harder than he expected. Draco stilled, watching Harry quiver in agony. The shallow, short panting shook Harry's body in a long, cramping seizure.

Small, scarlet beads of blood oozed at either side of the newly drawn stripe. Draco drew closer.

The smell of blood filled the room, electrifying the air, and hazing Draco's mind. The bloody shroud in front of his eyes thickened and screams coming from Harry's throat with each stroke injected intoxicating adrenaline into his veins.

He was mesmerized by the view. Red streams of body paint glistened in a dim light… a black flourish of his leather brush… a strong, intoxicating smell of blood, sweat, and fire. He felt powerful like an artist. The creator of a painting, unapproachable in its excellence, a masterpiece on an exceptional canvas. Every stroke he made on that smooth body made him dizzy with ecstasy.

Adrenaline sang through his core, playing on the tightened strings of his nerves, drowning his brain in an endorphin flood.

Gellert exclaimed as he rushed into the room. His face paled when he saw the blood-soaked sheet.

"Draco, we need him alive."

Draco swivelled. His face twisted, upper lip curled. An animalistic growl broke through his mouth when he raised the hand holding the whip, wishing to hit Gellert for the interruption but froze registering alert in the deep-seated eyes. The opaque veil fell from his eyes. The bloody fog clouding his vision lifted. Draco looked at his own hand gripping the whip. Slowly, as if he had been in a dream, fearing what he might see, he glanced at the blood-soaked bed.

"Damn it!"

He cursed at himself, threw the whip aside and lit up a cigarette with trembling fingers.


	59. Chapter 59

Harry lay on his stomach for three long days, barely getting up. He didn't eat, didn't drink, and didn't talk. Grindelwald had moved him to the cell in Nurmengard.

His body felt broken. Every bone hurt, every nerve wired. Deep nagging pain set in his bones and was spreading… spreading… spreading… engaging each and every cell in his body. Every time he moved, the cuts on his back cracked, bled. When he wasn't thrown into the cold nothingness of dreamless, reliving sleep, he faced the cruel, shivering reality of the fever that set deep inside. His sheets soaked in sweat. He constantly felt cold, and he couldn't even hug his middle without causing his back to bleed again. But he never asked for help, never touched the potions left by his side.

Draco was a frequent visitor. Every time he stopped by, he acted weird. He changed Harry's bandages and smeared his wounds with some salve. More than caring, he visibly boiled with a desperate need to talk. But no matter how hard he'd tried, Harry never replied, pressing his lips together.

On the fourth day, Draco flipped out. Grabbing the collar of Harry's t-shirt, he yanked him up from the bed in the air, causing the welts on his healing back to tear open again. His other hand pressed the rim of a glass to Harry's mouth and poured water down it.

Water rushed into Harry's throat, flooding his lungs. Grabbing his throat, he slapped Draco's hand away, folding to the bed in a coughing fit. His other hand hit his own chest in an attempt to get the water out of his respiratory system. The room swam as he tried to grab some air.

"If you don't eat on your own, I'm going to force-feed you, you hear? Shall I begin?"

Draco grabbed hold of his long raven hair and brought their faces together,

"Or maybe you prefer me to mouth feed you?"

Harry didn't reply, staring back in Draco's steel eyes. The hatred he felt boiled under his skin. Draco paled, scowled, and his fingers hesitantly unclenched,

"If you don't start eating by the evening, I'm going to be mad."

He stepped back, turned to the door. His fist clenched then unclenched, and he looked over his shoulder at Harry. A deep crease marred his forehead as he turned and left the cell. As soon as the iron gate closed, Harry felt the black hole in his chest open and the tug of gravity sucked his organs in.

Harry sighed, curled up in a ball, and dug his face in his knees in an attempt to keep himself sane. His shoulders quivered from the relived memories of that night. His back hurt, the newly healed flesh had torn again, but he didn't care. Draco could have healed his back, but he hadn't…He was still punishing him for something he hadn't done. Harry closed his imagined and fisted the sheets. He was doing this for Destrian. He was bearing this for Destrian. Killing himself had never seemed so tempting but he wouldn't leave his son with Voldemort. He wouldn't let Voldemort raise his son.

Betrayal poisoned his veins and he allowed himself to cry. How could Voldemort leave him like that? How could he abandon him again? Hadn't he known what would happen to him? Hadn't he known what had happened to him? Hadn't he cared? Harry heart wept tears of blood. He didn't want to be affected by it, but he was. He had never meant anything to anyone. He was surprised that he still had tears left over after everything he'd been through. The past year had been filled with tears and all for what? Nothing… He'd given himself up for people who hadn't valued his sacrifice. He'd continued suffering for those so-called friends and then when Voldemort had left him, he'd spent every second of every single day yearning for him and crying for him. And all for what? For this? To be left behind to be tortured and abused? Why had he even showed up? To remind him how powerless he was? How helpless and desperate he was? Harry buried his face in the pillow and screamed into it. No…he wasn't…He wasn't helpless. He had himself…He still had his son…

* * *

Draco's head was a nest of chaos. He'd stopped analyzing himself long ago, and now he didn't even try to give a name to his mixed feelings, knowing it was useless.

He was seated in his room. Heavy smoke rising from a cigarette filled his lungs, numbed his wired nerves, bringing him slight relief.

His head buzzed with thoughts, and he started thinking that tobacco was too weak for his state of mind, and he should drown his irritation with alcohol.

His thoughts, time after time, rushed back to the full of loathing gaze Harry had leveled at him. Contemptuous, filled with abhorrence, that gaze dove deep in Draco's pupils, sucking out his soul, leaving him restless, lost. Draco didn't like this at all. He didn't like how Harry had changed. He felt that he would never smile for him again. He even started to doubt that he would ever see that bold and challenging look in Harry's eye that he admired ever again.

Cursing under his breath, he crushed the cigarette in the ashtray, as if crushing down his own frustration. This had to stop. Why had he gone so far? He was certain he would have killed him if Grindelwald hadn't intervened at the right time. And he hadn't bothering healing his back because somehow he was still enraged at the fact that Voldemort had almost stolen his Harry. That would never happen again…never…Harry was his…forever and always.


	60. Chapter 60

The door hinges squeaked, alerting Draco. Water dripped from Harry's long raven locks, soaking in the white bathrobe hanging on his shoulders when he entered the bedroom. His torso glinted in dim light and small streams of water tricked down his stomach, wetting the waist of his white trunks. The bandage around his torso was gone.

_He looks so young…_  Draco thought, watching him move.

Making quite a lot of noise with his handcuffs, Harry removed the gown and then his trunks, dropping them to the floor. His expression blank, his eyes never met Draco's.

Subduing the first sparks of irritation, Draco frowned, rose from his chair, and, bypassing the table abounding with food, approached Harry.

Pressing his lips together, without making unnecessary movements, not showing off, not playing, not even looking at his tormentor, Harry turned his back to the man. Adhesive wound dressings covered most of his back, leaving very little skin visible.

Harry plopped on the bed, rolled on his back, and spread his legs apart, pressing his hands to his chest. The emotionless mask glued to his face, blank eyes peering at the ceiling.

Draco gritted his teeth. A fireball of fury shot out from his heart and ricocheted within his body, inflaming every cell. He tore off his beige linen shirt, buttons flying over the floor and wolf fur,

"If you want it the hard way, so be it!"

The bed dipped under his weight as his knee pushed on it, then his palms landed on the bouncing surface of the mattress. Crawling forward, hovering over Harry's nudity, Draco levelled his face with Harry's groin and blew at his cock. The air flow caught a water drop and chased it up Harry's abdomen. Greedy hands wrapped around the damp skin of Harry's hips as he inhaled, filling his lungs with the fresh scent of a clean body.

Harry didn't flinch,and Draco moved forward to his chest, to his neck.

Most of the water had dried up, but tiny drops scattering about Harry's glossy skin begged to be licked away. Arousal exploded in Draco's stomach, sending a blistering wall of fire through his core.

His mouth dried up when he leaned in to Harry, pressing the tip of his tongue to the hollow of a well-defined collarbone, drinking the gathered water. Imprinting a biting kiss on his smooth skin and leaving a red, throbbing mark, he inched lower.

Most of the small cuts on Harry's skin, healed and whitened, promising to disappear in the near future. Eager to memorize them all while they still existed, Draco licked damaged parts, as a dog would lick cuts on the bodies of its pups. Inch after inch, he covered Harry's arm with kisses, starting from the left shoulder and moving to the elbow, then lower to the most damaged part of his forearm.

When his mouth reached an angry-red scar where the glass from the mirror had slashed Harry's vein, Draco held his breath and pressed his tongue to the newly grown tissue, outlining the area. His eyes watched Harry's face, searching for signs of discomfort. The electric saline taste of the closed wound lingered on Draco's tongue, and he licked it again and again.

Arousal pulsed in his veins, narrowing his vision. His mouth moved lower, imprinting wet kisses at the back of Harry's hand. Running his tongue around Harry's thumb, Draco moved left, switching his attention to Harry's hips. Wet, gentle kisses mixed with teeth-imprinting bites, trailed the frail body from his hips to the abdomen, to the chest and the collarbones, until Draco reached Harry's neck again.

Harry tilted his head in an obvious attempt to avoid a kiss on his mouth. His lips disappeared in a thin line as he closed his eyes. That small movement annoyed Draco to no end. His hand caught Harry's chin and forced him to face him. He leaned closer and devoured the white slit of Harry's pressed lips. His tongue flickered over the rim and probed its way in. He ordered

"Open your mouth,"

He arched his brow when Harry's lips parted, letting him in. Not attaching importance to it, Draco controlled his rapid breathing, colliding their lips in a greedy wet kiss.

Harry's mouth remained passive, but his soft lips tasted so good that Draco didn't care. He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue down Harry's mouth he reached for the tender surface of his inner cheek.

Pushing his weight on his right elbow and entwining his fingers in Harry's wet hair, Draco licked Harry's tongue and sucked on his lower lip. His other hand travelled over Harry's stomach, then down to a distinctive hipbone.

Caressing this delicate and beautiful body, Draco enjoyed the flexibility of Harry's limbs, the clean scent of his skin, and even the saltiness of the damaged parts. But somewhere deep inside, in a far section of his brain, a haunting feeling nagged.

"Touch your nipples…"

He ordered, getting mentally ready to receive a hate-filled stare in return, but Harry didn't react as predicted. His eyes closed; hands moved to his left, stretching the chain of his handcuffs. His thumbs barely moved, massaging his nipples.

_Oh, damn it!_  Draco thought, pulling back. Sitting on his knees between Harry's legs, he mindlessly sank his canine tooth in his thumb. The stunning sight in front of his eyes didn't make him happy, quite the opposite. Now, instead of this mesmerizing scene, he would rather see a proud gaze full of resistance and hear a million curses, all aimed at him. Seeing this deliberate obedience was hard and unpleasant. How far could he go with this game?

"Wank, I want to see."

Draco's voice came out uncompromising,

"Spread your legs wider."

Harry opened his emerald eyes, confusion splashing within. But after a second, he closed them again and spread his legs wide apart. His flaccid cock rolled to the side. Draco swallowed and licked his lips.

Harry's palm cupped his cock. His face was a passionless mask; his flesh soft and lifeless. Draco could tell he felt nothing. But Harry's fingers rhythmically moved up and down. Draco started to burn with a low blue flame. Something nasty swirled in his chest, poisoning his blood. He smacked Harry's hip with his palm.

"Get on all fours, present yourself,"

Draco said; his voice hoarse. His devilish gaze never leaving Harry's face. His attentive eyes searched for rarely surfacing emotions, that was why he noticed how hard Harry's jaw muscles clenched.

I didn't break him… Relief brought a smile to the corners of his mouth. Harry would give up the act and kick Draco in the gut very soon, he was sure about it. Going for a preventive strike, Draco added in a casual, contemptuous tone,

"You like when I'm touching you inside, don't you? Touch yourself."


	61. Chapter 61

While Draco clearly enjoyed himself, Harry felt his pride being torn to pieces. The last time. He swore this was the last time he allowed Draco to do this to him. He had checked for the shard when he'd been showering, and it was still there. That shard was his only hope at this time and it was enough for him. Vibrating with electrified emotions, he got on his hands and knees, gritted his teeth in shame, and pressed his cheek into the pillow. Having absorbed the smell of cigarettes and a heady scent of cologne, it smelt like Draco.

The skin on his back stretched, and he had to arch his chest to subdue tension, but it only brought his ass higher in the air. Realizing it, he shut his eyes and pushed his hips lower. Arching his back caused some welts to tear. He cringed, distress raging in his depths, but his surface remained dead calm.

His face was in flames when he pushed his finger through the tight ring of muscles, forcing it deeper. It burned, and his sphincter clenched. Harry's body stiffened, and his air passage blocked, refusing to let air in. It wasn't only physical pain. His pride and self-respect were now being tested in the most agonizing way he had ever experienced in his life. But he didn't plan to do anything tonight.

_If Draco wants a slave, he can have a slave tonight because tomorrow he was going to be dead._

Harry squinted at Draco's face, drowned in shadows, but he picked up his quivering lips and narrowed eyes.

"Well, it looks like you've learned your lesson well…"

Draco purred in a dripping with venom voice, stretching his thin lips in a fierce smile,

"I think it's time to reward you and introduce you to adult life by showing you how good real sex can be. Voldemort never showed you any pleasure."

Harry flinched as if he'd been hit by the whip again. He closed his eyes for a second and hunched his shoulders, hiding in them. Willing himself to relax he tried to get his control back and calm his shallow breathing. There was nothing that Draco could do that hadn't already been done to him.

"On your back,"

Draco ordered, clenching his teeth and, not waiting for him to oblige, shoved Harry on his side.

A rough palm captured Harry's ankle. Draco jerked it toward him, tugging Harry's hips closer. A sharp pain ripped through his back—the scabs cracked under the dressings. The thought that they would bleed again touched Harry's mind and enraged him. Draco would have healed him if he'd cared even a teensy tiny bit about him.

He's angry… Harry thought with complete indifference, shifting his gaze toward the window. The curtains were down, and dim light filtered in through small slits. Draco lunged, pinning him down with his weight. His knees spread his legs apart. Draco's naked chest felt hot against his own, and tobacco breath fluttered against his lips before Draco leaned forward for another forced kiss.

Every nerve screamed in Harry's body as Draco's finger pushed inside. Blind fear and sparks of panic washed over him. His limbs grew torpid, his heart the opposite, tripled its rate. Pumping out his trembling breath, Harry noticed Draco's face darkened with concern, but he was too busy containing his emotions to pay it much attention.

The man removed his finger, wetted it with his saliva and once again touched the shrunken sphincter. The first knuckle slipped inside,

"Relax, or it will hurt again…"

Draco's voice sounded soft, sympathy streaming from him. Harry tried to find the reason for Draco's attitude, but the finger pushing to his prostate brought him back to reality. Draco had no place in his heart for sympathy. This was a lie. It was all a lie and it would be over tonight.

The clear grey of Draco's eyes peered into the depth of his own. Draco's lips stole his breath away, and Harry closed his eyes in an attempt to contain his rage. All of this was too much and Draco's face in front of his own was a very appealing target he could use his fists to scratch.

The hatred… the urge to fight back… the chaos and disorder… He needed to contain it all for now. He couldn't give away his intentions. He was too bloody close and if he lost now, he would break completely.

Draco's palm caressed his cheek. He felt Draco smiling against his mouth but didn't open his eyes. Disgust crawled into him, making the hair stand up all over his body. His labored breath disappeared in Draco's mouth. Ripples of sweet, painful spasms crept from his breastbone toward his shoulders and then down his spine, tugging him deeper into the kiss.

The longer Draco kissed him, the harder Harry became. Despite their battle of wills, Harry's body couldn't resist his touch, and most likely it was this honesty alone that had been stopping Draco from tearing him apart all this time.

One finger turned to two, then to three. But when Draco added his little finger too, Harry sucked air in through his teeth. His head whipped to the side, breaking the kiss as he tried to relax, but the tearing pain in his strained insides didn't let him. He felt his muscles cramp, and the pain worsened. The upcoming act daunted him, and he wasn't able to hide it any longer.

"Does it hurt?"

Draco whispered, caressing his cheekbone with his fingers, but Harry didn't reply. He didn't hear him. The chaos, storming in his heart, drowned his words in the roaring of his blood, slamming against his ears.

The pain wasn't as bad as that first rape, but his body still resisted any intrusion. Draco's words petrified him. He couldn't go through this again. He couldn't let this happen. His muscles clenched, seizing Draco's fingers and pain clouded his vision.

A primitive, animalistic terror of the unnatural act of pure violence forced his rational mind out of his head. His lungs burned; forgetting to breathe, he starved for oxygen.

"Easy, easy,"

Draco whispered in his ear and withdrew his fingers.

Harry let out a sigh; relief unclenched his throat, and he drank in air with greed. His vision clouded with the blood rush, and he swallowed in an attempt to water his parched mouth. He knew it wasn't over. He wasn't an idiot, and he wasn't naïve anymore, to believe Draco would spare him.

Draco reached forward, using his left hand as a support, and opened the top drawer of the cupboard standing beside the bed.

"I'm bigger than my fingers. Most likely it is gonna hurt,"

Draco warned him, drawing back with the lubricant in his hand. Sitting on his knees, he unscrewed the cap and poured clear gel onto his hand. He warmed it with his fingers before smearing the gel all over Harry's opening.

His chest glided against Harry's wet stomach as Draco's elbow pressed to the mattress at the right side of his shoulder. Ticklish whispers raised small hairs on Harry's neck,

"Breathe deeper, relax your stomach. The more you relax, the better you'll feel."

Something hard pressed to Harry's anus and inched forward, spreading his stiffened muscles. A strangled groan erupted from Harry's mouth. The cutting pain tore his body apart. His head snapped to the side as he bared his teeth. Unbearable. There was no way he could ever get used to this. To this or the humiliation, embarrassment, and shame.

It was the last time…This was the last time…He repeated that in his head over and over again and imagined Draco's blood-soaked body and those cold grey eyes completely lifeless. He sought solace in that image and drew the strength that he needed to endure this from it.

* * *

Seeing Harry's black pupils, dilated with pain, bleeding into the gorgeous emerald irises, filled Draco's chest with mixed emotions. He wanted to see Harry's delicate, handsome face twisted with pain, hear his panting, and see his bottomless eyes flooded with tears. At the same time, he hated the thought of Harry being in pain.

"Try to relax."

Draco whispered. He brought his forearm to Harry's mouth and offered in a low voice,

"You can bite me if it hurts too much."

Harry didn't react. His chin went down to his shoulder. A deep wrinkle marred his forehead; his lips disappeared, suppressing a scream of pain. His restricted hands formed fists against Draco's chest. They trembled, filling the room with chattering metallic noise.

A bitter taste filled Draco's mouth. His heart pounded and blood pumped into his head. Harry was too tight. Strong inner muscles clenched around his cock, squeezing his erection like a scorching vice. Draco winced but didn't pull out, waiting for Harry's body to adapt.

"Relax,"

He breathed in to Harry's mouth, bolstering his advice with a light kiss,

"I don't want to hurt you."

Harry groaned and rolled his head to the other side. A thin layer of perspiration glazed his neck and blue veins popped out under. Draco inched down, his mouth pounced on the smooth skin below Harry's ear, his nose brushed against his drenched hair.

"Look at me,"

Draco ordered in Harry's ear, his voice raucous with arousal. Leaving a glowing kiss mark on the side of Harry's neck, he pulled back burning with desire to see Harry's pupils dilated with pleasure, not pain.

He didn't know why, but holding back was incredibly hard with Harry, painful even. He wanted to force his way balls deep, hurtle himself in the soft and hot depth of Harry's inviting body, and every second of the delay was agony for his sweltering desire. The only thing that stopped him taking what belonged to him were those eyes damp with pain, wounded pride, and rudiments of anger hidden inside.

Few minutes later, his efforts had paid off. The lubricant spreading within Harry's rectum alleviated his sufferings, and tight insides loosened up enough for Draco to move. It took all his willpower to slide his whole length in a slow, deliberate thrust and not to slam his hips against Harry's ass. When his balls met Harry's hot crotch, Draco's muscles trembled with intensity. The places where his skin rubbed against Harry's burned and melted with sweat.

No way could he hold back longer… He wanted to claim him so bad, it was insane. He bumped his drenching forehead against Harry's cheekbone, willing himself to stay like this for another minute.

In an attempt to distract and get distracted, he licked his lips and kissed Harry's mouth. Sharing the same breath, he stroked Harry's reddened cheeks, played with his long raven locks, allowing Harry's body to get used to his.

"Doesn't hurt that much, right?"

A murderous glare flashed and disappeared behind Harry's fluttering lashes, bringing Draco a smile. His hips moved on their own, and a small twitch answered him from Harry's insides. Then, again and again, granting Draco with the most amazing sensations of pulsing hotness and softness. Moving in small, controlled thrusts Draco realized…Harry's body had adapted to his.

Draco glanced down and smiled again…Harry was semi-hard. His stomach, sparkled with sweat, raising and falling in labored breathing. Draco swallowed. An impetuous blood rush to his head erased every thought from his brain, leaving him withering with thirst. Draco's hands shook when he hooked his arms under Harry's knees, pulling his legs up and flopped his ankles onto his shoulders. His hips picked up speed, rushing the rhythm, aiming for Harry's sweet spot.

More… faster… rougher…

Harry's head rolled to the side; his body shaking. Wet hands clutched Draco's sweaty shoulder, burning it with the cold steel. Harry's mouth fell open, but instead of cries, it ejected only pumps of hot air.

Draco's mind cleared. The anxiety of the last few days disappeared, replaced by tenderness and warmth. He leaned forward and kissed Harry's damp temple. His hand cupped Harry's nape as another one snuck between their bodies and found his jerking, leaking cock.

Several short strokes and a long, drawn out moan burst out of Harry's arched chest. With a light heart, Draco squeezed Harry in his arms, pressing him deeper to his own skin, wet with sweat. The chaotic tempo of Harry's heart throbbed in his fingertips. Not willing to stop and let Harry catch his breath, he kept moving.

The raw smell of sex and sweat filled the room, compressing the air. It was so hard to breathe that Draco tore at the air with his teeth. His chest hurt, lungs burned, but he kept chasing his pleasure.

Harry's erection, after fading for a few minutes, revived. Flaming red spots came through his skin on his chest and stomach. Sweat trickled from beneath his knees, streamed down his thighs, Draco's shoulders, and chest. His restless head rolled from one side to another, strewing his body moisture about the sheets.

A ticklish stream ran from Draco's forehead down his nose, and a shiny drop tore down and crashed against Harry's vibrating stomach.

"So damn hot,"

He breathed and attacked Harry's swollen lips again, sucking in the saltiness of his upper lip. Everything around him melted, lost contours, and dimmed. The drumming in his ears grew louder; hot waves of sweat and pumped blood threw him in the timeless void of euphoria.

Draco came inside of him twice, but his erection never faded. He didn't want to stop; he didn't even pull out once. Possessive desire spread through his chest. Without shame, Draco explored Harry's naked, shimmering body. His mouth watered with increased saliva; his heart choked with blood and something panged in his chest.

Diving under Harry's leg, he flipped Harry to his side, then rolled him on his stomach. Hooking his palms under Harry's hips he lifted his ass up.

_Too Gorgeous._   _Way too Gorgeous_

Draco swallowed, squeezed the base of his cock for a second before guiding his throbbing length back to Harry's entrance. Rubbing his red head against the tender, twitching opening, he reentered Harry's opening.

Erotic, dirty sounds filled the room with a new force, and within a couple of minutes Harry whimpered. His muscle ring contracted and squeezed Draco's cock. A loud groan escaped his thrown back head, and his body collapsed to the bed, drained of all strength.

Draco grinned and, not even slightly embarrassed by the senseless body lying beneath him, continued. His hands rubbed Harry's back over the sweat drenched dressings, blood stains exuded through the white fabric.

His head pounded, vision blurred. He made several more thrusts before clutching at Harry's skin. The places he touched whitened. He threw his head back, mouth parted, and an animalistic, guttural roar burst out of his throat. Draco's body shook for a long minute, releasing the last drops of energy, before he collapsed beside Harry, gasping for air.

Two long minutes passed before he broke the silence.

"Harry… I regret…"

His voice was subdued. He was terrible at saying  _sorry,_  and every time he had to apologize to somebody it was a total disaster. He felt that by squeezing out these words, he was losing a part of his soul in a most painful and cruel way. The blood rushed to his head as he didn't hear a reply to his agonizingly delivered, pitiful attempt at an apology. He grabbed Harry's shoulder and pulled his limp body to himself.

"Harry…"

The lifeless body didn't resist as he rolled it over. Harry's facial muscles were relaxed, eyes closed, and the lip line soft. He wasn't conscious…


	62. Chapter 62

Harry stood under the shower as he wrapped the sash from the bath gown around one of its end to turn it into a makeshift knife. The shard was about 9 inches in length and 3 inches in width. The jagged edges were incredibly sharp and enough to sever major arteries. His hands were incredibly steady, and his head was clear and silent. He knew what he had to do. He knew how he had to do it. He wasn't going to get a second chance at it, so he had to make the most of it.

He set it down on the edge of the bath tub and ran his fingers through his soaked hair before turning off the shower. After tying his hair back, he pulled on a fresh pair of briefs and slid on the bath gown before concealing the shard in its folds.

When he exited the bathroom, he found Draco laying on the bed with his eyes closed. His features were relaxed, and his body was loose. Harry wondered if it were for show or if he really had fallen back asleep. If it was the latter, then it definitely was his lucky day. He kept the shard concealed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Draco's long throat was deliciously exposed and all he had to do was to pull out the shard and run it over him. The cuffs were lying just beside him and Harry could put them on Draco and fasten them to the carabiner like Draco had done to him so many times,

"Draco…"

Draco murmured something incoherent and Harry realized that he really was asleep. This was going to easier than he had thought. Just to be sure, he spoke again,

"Draco…"

Draco stirred for a moment but made no visible move to wake up. His grip tightened on the make shift handle and he pulled it out and in one swift move, slashed it across Draco's throat. Draco woke up with a gurgling gasp but Harry was already over him, straddling him as he drove the shard into his throat, once…twice…three times….The passage of the light slowed and the sounds became as if underwater. His heart was beating out of his chest. That pounding inside beat a rhythm to the words of Draco's execution. Draco's blood was everywhere, his face was covered in it along with his body. The covers were soaking it in greedily. He planted the shard in Draco's throat and fastened the cuffs around his wrists. The clanking of the chains was music to his ear as Draco struggled to get free,

"I told you I'd kill you, Draco. I warned you…but you didn't listen to me."

He pulled the shard out from his throat and drove it into his stomach,

"You didn't think I would do it, did you? You thought I was too weak for it…that I'd given up…that I'd accepted being your slave…Is that why you let your guard down?"

Draco fought hard against him but there wasn't much he could do. Harry could practically see the light draining from his grey eyes and it was the most satisfying thing he had ever witnessed. Revenge was sweet,

"I hate you, Draco…I hate you…I hate you…"

He withdrew the shard from his stomach and then plunged it back in,

"This is for raping me, Draco…Abusing me…Breaking me…This is for thinking that you could ever get away with all of it."

Draco was extremely still now but he was alive…his ragged, sputtering breathing was proof of that…

"I should have killed you that first night, I got my hands around your throat."

Draco lips parted as if to say something but nothing came out,

"Just die now, Draco. I hope you rot in hell for everything you did to me."

Draco's body shuddered underneath him and Harry saw the exact moment those grey eyes grew cold and lifeless. But this wasn't over…Grindelwald was still alive.

He closed Draco's eyes despite not wanting to and uncuffed his wrists. After that, he pulled off the once white, now crimson bathrobe and wiped Draco's face clean with it. He looked down at his own blood covered skin and thought about washing away the blood but he didn't have the time. He laid down beside Draco and pulled the covers over them both to conceal the bloody mess that they both were. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath and carefully ran his thumb over the blood slicked shard that he held at the ready.

Grindelwald was the last thing that stood between him and his son. As soon as he was free from here, he was going to take Destrian back from Voldemort and go somewhere far far away.

He ran his free hand down Draco's lifeless arm and internally laughed at how unsettled laying with a corpse would have made him feel a year ago…hell, forget laying with a corpse…the thought of killing someone the way he just had would have probably driven him to the point of suicide. He'd been so stupid to stick to morals in a world that was incurably corrupt and cruel. He should have done this a long time ago. He should have shunned his bloody morals the day, Voldemort had abused him the first time.

The sound of the door opening, forced him to tense up and tighten his hold and then Grindelwald's voice greeted him,

"Draco, you are still asleep. Wake up, we need to go. I believe I informed you of the meeting."

He felt the mattress dip and knew that he only had a couple of seconds before Grindelwald pulled away the covers. Killing Draco had been easy because he hadn't had his wand. Grindelwald would probably have it. Grindelwald was just about to pull away the covers when Harry pulled them away first and launched himself at Grindelwald. Implanting the shard in his right eye. Grindelwald howled in pain and fell back on the floor and Harry took advantage of his weakness and grabbed his wand from the inside pocket of his robes. As Grindelwald was trying to pull the shard out, Harry pointed the wand at him and spoke,

"Avada Kedavra."

The blinding green light that escaped from the tip forced his eyelids shut.


	63. Chapter 63

His legs gave out and he collapsed on his knees. When he opened his eyes, he found Grindelwald laying on his back with his eyes wide open, cold and lifeless. A relieved chuckle escaped his lips and echoed around the otherwise silent room. He hadn't expected it to work. His magic…he hadn't expected the spell to work. The scent of death filled the space and Harry breathed it in…he breathed it in because he needed it to erase all that cigarette smoke… that disgusting smell of sex and Draco's lust that had seeped into his pores and wouldn't leave him no matter how many times he showered...

It was over…finally over. The torment…the misery…it was all finally over…He looked down at his hands and pulled off the ring which came off without any resistance. Instantly, he felt light headed as that familiar rush of magical energy ran through his blood. He had gotten lucky in that final moment. The wand had been an improvisation. If he'd known that he could use magic through a wand, he would have worked on stealing Draco's days ago.

He fell forward on his hands and drew in a deep shuddering breath. Everything that he'd endured…everything that he'd been through played on the forefront of his mind and a scream escaped his lips. He tried to channel all his pain into it…tried to channel all the desperation…all the hopelessness…all the humiliation…all the fear into it. He hoped his screams reached the heavens above. He hoped that whoever was listening above was satisfied by them. Fate had brought him to this point. He was always meant to be broken and now…now he truly was. He had resisted and fought but it had all been in vain. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he fisted the rug.

No, broken was too small a word. He was absolutely shattered really, robbed of the tape and glue necessary to put his soul back together. He had a purpose…He had Destrian. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recall him. He was desperate for a memory, good, warm, welcoming, one he could smile to. It was difficult to remember how to smile. He hadn't smiled, not since Draco had touched him, his grip hot and menacing, his mind soaking in his fear and newfound pain. Draco, relishing every moment he could put his hands on him… inside of him, eyes darting all across his face and body, hungry, desperate to fill his own desires that could only be done by trespassing and taking what wasn't his.

He wished he could bathe in acid…maybe that would wash away his touch. No…that wouldn't work…It wouldn't work. He struggled to bring Destrian's memories to the forefront of his mind, but it didn't work. All he could see were all those memories of pain and humiliation. He had killed Draco and Grindelwald. He had freed himself of their influence. He had gotten justice for himself but…but how was he going to cleanse himself of those memories? How was he ever going to purge his mind, body and soul of the marks that had been left of him? He would surely lose his mind.

No, he couldn't. He couldn't lose his grip on sanity. His son needed him. Destrian needed him. He wouldn't let Voldemort raise him. Destrian was his and his alone. He was his life…his heart…his hope. Wiping away his tears, he rose to his feet and looked at his blood covered skin. Was he really any better than Voldemort now?

He had stood up for himself…He had fought for himself…He had murdered those bastards because they'd deserved it. They'd deserved so much more pain and torment, but he would have to settle for this. They were gone and now they wouldn't hurt him or anyone else ever. His son was going to see a better world.

He stumbled into the bathroom, stepped into the bath tub and turned on the shower. Emotions swirled with the red tinged ice water circling the cold metal drain as streaks of fire burned his cheeks. Each new wave a hot trail of agony as his slim, bare shoulders shook with each rake of emotion through his frame. The fire of despair burned just under his skin and a deep emptiness filled his heart as the sentiments brewed over and boiled past the seams he could no longer hold together. His breathing hitched as his knees grew weak and he slumped to the cold surface of the bath tub. He felt like he was drowning in his own tears of hell.

Why? Why was he still crying? Why wasn't he happy? He was free…finally free…He could move on…A new life was waiting for him. There were numerous joys in store for him. He wiped his tears away shakily and forced himself back to his feet. He rubbed himself raw, washing every single smidgeon of blood from his skin. When he was washing his hair, he thought about chopping them short but discarded the idea quickly. Destrian liked his hair. Voldemort had liked his hair long as well. Harry shook his head to banish that thought. No, he'd liked them long, so he could pull on them and cause him pain.

He closed his eyes and shook his head to banish the thoughts. No, Voldemort would no longer rule his life. He was done. He turned off the shower, discarded his soaked briefs and pulled on a fresh pair before walking out and using Grindelwald's wand to conjure fresh clothes for himself. There was no way he could describe the pleasure he felt in performing magic again. Pulling on his jeans, he looked around the room and assured himself that this was the last time he was here. His gaze swept over Draco's blood-soaked corpse and Grindelwald's dead body with the shard still protruding from his eye. The rush of satisfaction and relief he felt was too wonderful for words. After buttoning up his shirt, he drew in a deep breath and spoke,

"Good bye, Draco, and good riddance."


	64. Chapter 64

Harry stood in front of flashing cameras and the crowd of reporters that were shouting questions at him. It was taking him everything he had in him to stand there and face them all. He still hadn't found the strength to speak though…the strength to answer their questions...

He wasn't weak…He wasn't weak…He wasn't weak…He repeated that over and over inside his head and exhaled. His hands were still trembling, and he forced them into the pocket of his jeans,

"I didn't marry Grindelwald. That was all a lie, Grindelwald forced me to speak…"

The crowd grew hushed and it took him a moment to compose himself again,

"Grindelwald was accompanied by Draco Malfoy. It was Draco that help Grindelwald escape from Nurmengard. He was present when Grindelwald slaughtered all those members of The International Confederation of Wizards."

Harry had to pull his hand out to take the support of the rostrum because his legs were threatening to give out,

"They're dead now. They're both dead and they will never threaten anyone again. You can continue your lives fearlessly. Grindelwald's reign is over."

He turned around and walked away as the hush broke and the questions started again. He couldn't answer any of them. Once he was inside his office, he fell rather than sat in his seat. He felt so exhausted but he couldn't rest…not yet…He pulled a piece of parchment towards himself and began writing down his resignation letter. He was done shouldering Voldemort's burdens. Once he was done, he set it down on the table and slumped back in the chair.

Ever since he'd showed up at the ministry, he was being followed and fawned over by concerned death eaters and ministry workers alike. There was a time when he'd deemed them his family, but he couldn't feel anything at the moment for them. No compassion, no love…no nothing. He just wanted his son back. That was all he wanted. He had just rested his head on the table when the door burst open and Sirius's voice reached his ears,

"HARRY!"

He gritted his teeth and wrapped his arms around himself,

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

He knew he'd told them to leave but he hadn't told them to abandon him the way they had. Sirius voice was full of pain when he spoke,

"Harry…"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and spoke,

"Don't…Just don't Harry me… I don't want to see any of you."

It was Voldemort's voice that finally set him off,

"Harry, your son needs you."

Harry rose to his feet and looked at the people gathered. Sirius, Remus, the twins, Bella, Luna and Voldemort standing at the forefront, holding his son, Destrian…

Destrian…His baby…His son…Finally…. Harry took him away from Voldemort and held him in his arms. He took in Destrian's face greedily. His bright red eyes found his and he laughed, as only a baby can laugh a sweet sound unblemished by the hurts of life. His little face glowed from a light within, and his miniature fingers grasped his, and held tight. He knew! Somehow it felt like he knew he needed comfort after everything he'd endured. Destrian knew he needed joy after the dark misery he'd just escaped from. He held him to his chest tightly, vowing that he would never let his precious baby go, no matter what came he would protect him…even to the point of death.

He couldn't stop the tears that escaped his eyes, the sobs and cries that escaped his lips. They echoed around the office. He rocked Destrian to his chest. He couldn't stand to keep him away from himself for a second. Harry stroked his tiny back and soft hair. He whispered sweet things in his ears and covered him with kisses. Destrian was his baby, and he loved him with a power mightier than the wind. In that moment, he forgot everything, all his pain, all his agony, everything he'd been through him,

"I love you, baby. I'll never let you go again…I promise, I won't…"

Destrian sniffled and Harry saw the way his beautiful red eyes sparkled. He couldn't help but press a kiss to his forehead and cry a little more. He knew he shouldn't be. He knew he should smile for his baby but he couldn't stop. He just couldn't stop. Holding Destrian in his arms was like he'd gotten a part of himself back…Like he'd gotten his soul back…Like he'd healed him down to the very core. Destrian tugged on a loose lock of his hair and he couldn't help but smile…That tiny little gesture was enough to teach him how to smile again…Destrian was a miracle…He was his miracle.


	65. Chapter 65

Destrian was asleep in his arms now and he felt his own exhaustion weighing down his eyelids. None of the people present in his office had said a word ever since he'd taken Destrian into his arms and he was content with the silence because it made it easier to pretend that they weren't there. It was Sirius that spoke,

"How long are you going to pretend that we're not here?"

Harry closed his eyes and pulled Destrian closer to his chest,

"As long as it takes to make you all leave me alone."

Remus finally spoke,

"We should leave."

The shuffling of feet and the sound of the door closing was music to his ears. He sighed out and traced the outline of Destrian's nose. Destrian scrunched it up and Harry smiled at the adorable expression,

"I love you…You're the only one I love…"

Destrian was still holding onto a lock of his hair in his tiny fist, almost as if he was afraid that he would leave again. He wouldn't leave…He wouldn't ever leave him alone again. Tears flooded down his cheeks and he spoke,

"I missed you so much, baby…I missed your face…your beautiful eyes….your nose…your lips…your messy hair…I missed your warmth, your tiny hands, your laughter…I hated being away from you…I felt like I couldn't breathe…"

It was almost as if Destrian heard his ranting because he opened his eyes and stared up at him with his vivid red eyes filled with utter wonder and pure innocence,

"I wanted to hold you in my arms so bad…I longed to hold you to my chest and feel your heartbeat…Every day I spent away from you was utter torture…"

Torture…It was too small a word to describe what he'd gone through…what had been inflicted on him,

"I wanted to die…So many times, I wanted to kill myself but the thought of you stopped me every time…You were my reason to live, baby…you were my reason to survive… You'll always be my reason to live, Destrian. You're enough for me. You're all I need."

Destrian tugged on his lock and he bent down and brushed his lips against his cheek,

"Life has never given me anything but pain…You're the only good thing in my life, Baby. You're the most precious thing to me."

He rocked Destrian in his arms gently and Destrian giggled softly. The sound was like music to his ears…it took away all his exhaustion and filled him up with hope. In that moment, it was so easy to visualize his future with his son. He could see him growing up…he could see him taking his first steps…riding his first broomstick…learning his first spells…It was so beautiful…

But…But…what would Destrian think of him when he would grow up? What would he think when people told him about everything that had been done to him? What would he think when people would tell him how he'd killed Draco and Grindelwald? But most of all, what would Destrian think when people would tell him that he was The Dark Lord Voldemort's son? What would he think about him when he'd realize that he'd kept him estranged him from his father? He shook his head and rubbed his nose against Destrian's.

He had many tough decisions to make. Life wasn't as simple as he was making it out to be and his own preferences didn't matter in the face of Destrian's well-being and happiness. He wanted to take him away from everyone and raise him alone but what he wanted would ultimately result in his son hating him for alienating him from the people who loved him. He didn't know what to do. A desperate sob escaped his lips. Destrian scrunched up his nose and a soft whimper escaped from his lips. Harry knew he was preparing to cry,

"No…baby…don't cry…"

He pulled Destrian up to his chest and rocked him gently,

"It'll be fine. Everything will be fine…"

Destrian's tiny head on his shoulder felt wonderful and carefully ran his fingers through his mess of raven black hair,

"We're going to be happy again."

Destrian sniffled and he rubbed his back,

"I'll do whatever needs to be done for your happiness."


	66. Chapter 66

Harry cradled a deeply asleep Destrian to his chest and spoke,

"We're going home now, Destrian."

He apparated them to the castle and Harry thought his knees would give out at the sight that greeted him. The orchard was withered. The flowers were dead. The grass was yellow brown. It was an utter wasteland. Harry toed off his shoes and walked over the dried grass that crunched underneath his feet. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he lowered himself to his knee, next to the flowers that had wilted and lost their colour. Once blue they were now brown and their petals like grotesque confetti were scattered on the dried grass. Harry touched them gently and wept, he had missed the blooms. He scooped up the decaying plants hoping that his gentleness could infuse life back into them. Destrian seemed to have sensed his distress because he woke up and began thrashing in his arms. Harry comforted him gently and whispered,

"It's alright… It'll be alright, baby."

Destrian calmed to some extent and Harry buried the nails of his free hand in the soil. He couldn't stop crying no matter how hard he tied. Then it happened, the shockwave that went through the orchard, revitalized everything in its wake. The garden grew a shade brighter under the influence of the magic. The flowers bloomed again in all their glory, the grass, the shade of every dreamers meadow, roots quenched, soil renewed. And then came the bursts of birdsong, their hearts rejoicing the occasion of his return. The castle's warmth washed over him…through him…it's joy evident as it filled him up. Apparently, Destrian felt it too because a gentle smile curved his tiny mouth. Harry turned him around and showed him the orchard,

"Look, baby. It's alright now."

Destrian giggled softly and Harry rose to his feet and showed him the entire orchard. Destrian watched everything with his adorable, curious gaze and Harry proceeded to show him the entire castle. Each and every room. The death eaters had moved out while he'd been gone so it was empty once again. He didn't enjoy the silence, but he needed it at the moment. He needed some time alone with Destrian. He showed Destrian the kitchens, the dining room, the ball room…he took him to every single room in the castle except for Voldemort's torture chamber. The last room on the tour was the bedroom and it was exactly the way it had always been. Destrian's toys took most of the space on the bed. Nothing had been touched, nothing was out of place. Destrian giggled loudly at the sight of the room and Harry knew he was happy to be back. He took him inside and laid him back on the bed carefully.

He ran his gaze around the room and his own screams and cries echoed inside his head. He looked at the bed and everything Voldemort had done to him there ran at the forefront of his mind. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes as his knees softened and he collapsed on his knees. Burying his face in his hands, he howled out in agony as loud as he could. The weight of all the pain, all the torture, all the fear that he'd experienced in this room crushed him. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried over and over again. The pain was too much. It was way too much. How could he have been stupid enough to fall in love with Voldemort? How could he have been stupid enough to think that Voldemort would ever love him back? And on top of everything, he'd waited for him…he'd held out on the hope that Voldemort would come back and they'd be happy together…Voldemort had been no better than Draco. Draco had only defiled his body over and over again, Voldemort had defiled his soul. He'd taken him apart, torn him down and stood on the sidelines and watched him suffer.

The sound of Destrian's fractious crying forced him to clamp his hands over his mouth and muffle his cries.

No…There would be no more crying…Not now… Not ever… He was done suffering…done being miserable…Wiping his tears away, he rose to his feet and walked over to the bed. Destrian had kicked off his blanket and was wailing deafeningly as he wriggled on the bed. He sat down on the edge, picked Destrian up and cradled him to his chest,

"Please, baby…don't cry…"

It took a few minutes for him to calm Destrian down, feed him and put him back to sleep. He pulled off his shoes and his socks and swung his legs over the bed. Laying down beside Destrian, he pulled the covers over himself and Destrian and placed a kiss on Destrian's forehead. He lay on his side and pulled Destrian closer to himself. Somehow, he couldn't stand being away from him for even a second…he couldn't take his eyes off of him for even a second…Destrian was beautiful…He couldn't believe that something as perfect and pure as him was his.

He ran his finger over Destrian's cheek and closed his eyes. An odd kind of peace stole over him and a smile tugged at his lips. He was home…finally home. He was safe and sound and had his son back. Sleep wrapped him up in a warm blanket along with the castle's happiness that made him feel more secure than he had in days…months…


	67. Chapter 67

He leaned against the wall in the shadowed corner of the bedroom and watched Harry sleep with Destrian. He'd seen the way Grindelwald and Draco had been murdered and it took no imagination to interpret how Harry had made that happen. But how Harry could be so normal after going through all that was beyond him. He was strong…Harry had proved that he was strong over and over again but he had never expected him to be this fierce. He had never expected him to be this indomitable. He couldn't bear to think about what he'd gone through with Draco. He hated him too now. Harry hated him and even though he knew he deserved it, he couldn't bear it. It was just too much.

The sound of Harry's weak whimpers shattered the silence in the room and he instantly knew that something was wrong. He drew closer to the bed and Harry's whimpers turned to moans,

"Please…I don't want to…Stop…"

No…No…No…He picked Destrian up from beside him and cast a quick barrier around him to protect him from the screams that were sure to come. He saw Harry's white knuckled hold on the covers and the way his back arched off the bed as he screamed over and over again. He rocked Destrian to his chest as he sat beside Harry's writhing form and rested the tip of his wand on his forehead,

"Ssshhh…Relax, Harry…Wake up…you need to wake up for your son…"

It took a while, but Harry screams turned into heart-breaking sobs,

"Harry…wake up…wake up…"

He patted Harry on the cheek softly, wiped away his tears but it wasn't working. Harry refused to wake up. He removed the sound barrier from around Destrian and Destrian instantly started wailing. That was enough for Harry's eyelids to flicker and lift, revealing tear filled emerald orbs. Several emotions flickered through Harry's eyes in the span of a few seconds. Confusion, despair, realization and then utter horror,

"Harry…"

Harry raised a hand to silence him and then buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as he no doubt wept. His dark hair curtained his face and hid it from view. Destrian continued to wail and Harry spoke,

"Could you please calm him down?"

He rocked Destrian to his chest and soon enough his wails subsided, and he fell asleep. They sat there in uncomfortable silence for a while before Harry removed his face from his hands and swept his hair away from his face and over his shoulder before wiping the tears away from his eyes,

"I'm…I'm…"

He rested a finger over his lips but the brief contact resulted in Harry pushing it away and glaring at him vehemently,

"Don't you dare touch me…"

Harry wiped at his lips with a look of utmost disgust and then ground out,

"I hate you and it will stay that way until the day I die but…"

Harry's gaze went from his to Destrian's peacefully asleep form in his arms and the hate melted away from his eyes and was instantly replaced by despair…complete and utter despair,

"I wish you weren't his father... I wish he wasn't related to you…I wish he didn't have your blood running through his veins…"

Harry's words were enough to tear him asunder. He could only stare at the tiny form in his arms and wish the same. Destrian was the epitome of purity and everything good. Harry was right. He certainly didn't deserve him. If he could, he would erase his imprints from Destrian's being. He wished he could change the past. He wished he had never did the things he had. Harry laughed bitterly as he leaned back against the headboard,

"But when have my wishes ever mattered?"

He sat there speechless as Harry spoke,

"What did I do to deserve all this?"

He was about to speak when Harry spoke again,

"Did you have fun while you fooled me into believing that you were David and watched me yearn for you every single day? Did you laugh every time I cried? Was my pain to your satisfaction?"

He could only watch silently as the tears streamed down Harry's cheeks again and he continued to wipe at them like they were something abhorrent,

"Tell me…Answer me…"

He couldn't…He didn't have an answer to Harry's question. At that time, his reasons had seemed right but now…now they seemed all wrong…they seemed ruthless, cold and heartless,

"I was trying to protect you…"

Harry laughed derisively and tucked a stray lock behind his ear,

"Protecting me from what exactly? Happiness?"

He spoke through numb lips,

"Grindelwald."

Harry narrowed his eyes and squared his jaw,

"Yeah, you protected me really well... You did a fine job of saving me…"

He lowered his gaze and Harry bit out,

"Look into my eyes…face me…"

He knew that if it hadn't been for Destrian, Harry would have been shouting,

"All of you sat back and let him do whatever he wanted to me. You abandoned me and let me be abused."

He protested,

"No…"

Harry cut him off,

"I felt so grateful to you that day when you showed up with Destrian at the ball. I thought that Destrian was in safe hands…that he was protected…You were mocking me…I realize now that you were taunting me that day."

Harry closed his eyes and laughed,

"And that day at the ministry…when you revealed who you were, duelled Grindelwald and turned tail… Do you know what Draco did to me that night? Do you know how he tortured me?"

Harry began unbuttoning his shirt and let it slide off his shoulders before pulling his hair up, turning around and showing him his back. It was severely scarred by whip marks that had no particular pattern which clearly depicted that they had been delivered in a fit of rage,

"Do you know what he used to say to me?"

He couldn't tear his gaze away from Harry's back. Even when Harry dropped his hair and they concealed the scars from view, the image remained imprinted on the forefront of his mind. Harry turned back around and faced him,

"He told me, I was made to be abused."

He couldn't take another word…He was afraid his heart would explode from the pain he was experiencing. Harry smiled but it was cold,

"You always believed that too, didn't you?"

He shook his head silently and Harry chuckled darkly,

"Well, I'm yours again, Master. Do your worst."


	68. Chapter 68

"Harry…Stop…Please, Stop…"

The expression on Voldemort's face was of utmost pain and remorse but none of those things could ever undo the damage that had been done to him. Voldemort's guilt meant nothing,

"If listening to it hurts so much, imagine what going through it must have felt like."

Voldemort squeezed his eyes shut and Harry saw the way he held Destrian to his chest…like Destrian was his salvation…He was…Destrian was a little blessing and he was a salvation for both of them. He wiped away his own tears and willed himself to be strong. Voldemort opened his eyes and looked at him. One look in his eyes told him what he was thinking, and Harry ground out,

"Don't you dare think about running away again. You are going to stay here and you're going to suffer with me. You deserve it."

Voldemort finally spoke in a low voice,

"I shall not leave again."

Harry leaned back against the headboard and took Destrian's sleeping form away from Voldemort's and into his own,

"I hate you…I do…And as much as I can't stand being in your presence, you're still my spouse. We're still bonded and..."

He paused and ran his fingers through Destrian's raven black hair,

"Don't take this as my weakness…I can raise Destrian just fine by myself…but I understand that Destrian needs both his parents. He needs you as much as he needs me…"

He rocked Destrian to his chest,

"Do you remember all the things I said to you when Destrian was born…all the fears I voiced…"

Voldemort nodded and Harry sighed,

"I don't want Destrian to hate me. I don't want him to blame me for taking him away from you. You might be a rapist, a murderer, a bloody monster but those labels are irrelevant to Destrian. To him, you're just his father and that's the only label that will ever matter to him."

Harry kissed Destrian's head,

"Destrian's my life…Is he yours?"

Voldemort stared at him like he'd lost his mind,

"Of course, he is. He's my son…"

Harry held Voldemort's gaze and watched the tears that flowed down his cheeks,

"Do you love him? Are you capable of it? Would you sacrifice yourself for him?"

Voldemort nodded,

"Yes…Yes…Yes…. I would give my life for him…"

Harry laid Destrian down beside him on the bed and pulled the covers him before inching closer to Voldemort and grabbing him by the front of his robes,

"If you ever try to desert him again or attempt to harm him in any other way, I swear I will kill you with my own bare hands."

Voldemort's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically,

"He's my son…I can never dream of it…"

Harry released his collar and bit out,

"I don't trust you…I never will… you're incapable of feeling emotions…"

Voldemort ducked his head,

"I have truly changed..."

Harry couldn't help but laugh at that,

"I might have been naïve enough to believe it once but I will never believe it again…You can't change…You can never change…"

Voldemort slid from the bed onto the floor and knelt in front of him,

"I am begging you for forgiveness, Harry. I know I am not worthy of it...I know that I have no right to ask this of you but give me one more chance…Just one more chance, Harry…please…"

He folded his hands in his lap and clenched the covers,

"No…Never… All you are to me is Destrian's father…nothing more…nothing less…we'll live together…we'll pretend to be a happy family for Destrian's sake but that's it…"

Voldemort's shoulders slumped in defeat and his head fell. A year ago this sight would have probably melted his heart but he didn't have one now,

"I won't let Destrian feel deprived. He'll have a happy family and whatever else he wants. I don't want him to face any of the troubles we had to face when we were growing up. I want my baby to be the happiest child in the world."

Voldemort nodded silently and Harry spoke,

"I resigned today. So, you should probably take over from tomorrow."

Voldemort looked up at him and spoke,

"No…Harry…You can't resign…"

Harry crossed his arms over his chest,

"Why the hell not?"

Voldemort got up and sat back down on the bed in front of him,

"Because I cannot leave the defence against the dark arts post at Hogwarts…"

He felt utterly bewildered that Voldemort was still thinking about himself,

"Are you listening to yourself? You're still thinking about yourself after everything I just said… What about what I want? What about my wishes…my desires?"

Voldemort spoke,

"Harry, they do matter. What do you want?"

He leaned back against the bed and huffed irately

"I don't know…"

Now that he thought about it logically, he just couldn't sit idle and do nothing. He needed work to center himself…to distract himself… Besides, if this was going to work out, they would need to build a certain level of trust,

"Fine, I'll do it…"

Voldemort spoke,

"Harry, if you don't want to than I shall assign someone else."

He glared at him coldly,

"No…I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for myself."

He stared down at the covers for a moment before finally speaking,

"I want you to move back in to the room with me. I doubt I'll ever stop having nightmares so it'll be good for Destrian if you're here to take care of him if I ever have another one."

The colour drained from Voldemort's face and he spoke,

"You want me here? … In this room? … Every night?"

He nodded and then spoke,

"But not in this bed…this bed is mine and Destrian's…You can sleep on the couch…"

He watched the way Voldemort eyed the couch and then nodded in defeat,

"As you wish."

Harry laid back down on the bed and pulled Destrian to his chest,

"Go to sleep. You probably have to take classes tomorrow."


	69. Chapter 69

He was standing in front of the mirror, struggling to untangle his damp hair. It would be so much easier if he could just cut them but Destrian liked his hair. He liked pulling on them…just like his father. In the reflection, he looked at Destrian laying on the couch and giggling uncontrollably as Voldemort drew smoky patterns in the air. It took him a few minutes but he managed to get them straightened out and then tied them up at the nape. When he was done, he turned around and finally asked,

"Are you going to teach as yourself or David?"

Voldemort looked at him for a second and then spoke,

"As myself."

He nodded thoughtfully as he reached forward and scooped Destrian into his arms,

"How's my little baby this morning?"

Destrian regarded him with joy filled crimson eyes before giggling again and Harry held him to his chest. He was happy…Destrian was happy and that was all he needed,

"I believe you should eat something."

His stomach grumbled noisily and he tried to recall when he'd last eaten. He couldn't really remember and that was worrisome. He needed to get better for his baby and he needed to stay better. He nodded and Voldemort conjured a tray and set it on the couch between them. He looked at it for a moment before sitting down opposite him. Voldemort extended his arms and he reluctantly handed Destrian back to him before picking up a piece of toast and buttering it up.

It was gone in less than a second and soon enough he was buttering up another one. He had no idea how starved he'd been. When his belly felt full enough, he took Destrian back in his arms and rocked him to his chest,

"I'm going to the ministry now. You should have breakfast before you leave."

He had just been about to apparate when he spoke,

"I'm going to ask Sirius, Bella and the others to move back into the castle as well. I'm sure you won't have any objections about that."

Voldemort leaned back,

"No, I do not have any objections."

He balanced Destrian on his hip and then spoke,

"Are you sure you don't want to maintain your David persona for your teaching?"

Voldemort rose to his feet and spoke gently,

"Yes, I am absolutely certain."

He held Voldemort's gaze,

"There are several parents that will have a problem with that. You might have to quit."

Voldemort took another step closer to him,

"Why does that bother you?"

Destrian was making wet sounds and he ran his fingers through his hair,

"It doesn't bother me. I'm just warning you. If I get any complaints, then I will have to take action as the minister."

Voldemort nodded solemnly,

"I will accept any decision you'll make."

Voldemort reached forward and patted Destrian on the cheek gently,

"Have a good day, Love."

Destrian held on tight to Voldemort's finger and Voldemort smiled and spoke,

"I'll see you at dinner, Love."

Destrian refused to let go and Harry realized how badly he wanted them together. Suddenly, it became all the more important that he reunite everyone and complete Destrian's family. He pressed a kiss to Destrian's head and spoke,

"Come on, baby. We'll see your father for dinner."

Destrian reluctantly let go and Voldemort took his little hand and pressed a kiss to it. When he had let go, he apparated with Destrian and they appeared in the Atrium. He felt every gaze on the Atrium fixate on him and a hush fell. He felt his skin prickle as he began making his way to elevator and then the crowd burst into cheers. He couldn't understand why but apparently Destrian was enjoying it because his crimson eyes shone with joy as he surveyed the crowd. And then he was shaking hands with everyone as they all patted him on the shoulder and all he could do was stare at them and wonder what was going on.

He reached his office amid cheers and opened the door to find that it was filled with colourfully wrapped presents. Weaving his way through the stacks of gifts, he went to the table and saw that it littered with letters. Destrian made a loud happy sound at the sight of the bright presents. He rocked him to his chest and picked up the copy of The Daily Prophet from the desk. Flipping it over, he came face to face with a picture of himself from yesterday and a huge headline that proclaimed him a hero.

He tossed it back on the desk and slumped in a chair. Destrian began wailing and he attempted to soothe him, but he knew he wanted the presents and he couldn't deny him that. He picked one from the table and read the thank you card over it, unwrapped it and realized that it was actually meant for Destrian. He figured most of the presents here were meant for Destrian. It was a carved wooden music box. He opened the lid and the music that burst out of it was the sweetest lullaby he'd ever heard. But music wasn't the only thing that erupted from the box, there were golden musical notes that flowed from it along with the sweet symphony and Destrian was absolutely mesmerized by them. He set down the box on the table in front of him, laid Destrian down in a carry cot and set that down on the table as well. He leaned back on the seat and stared up at the ceiling…Hero…He wasn't a hero…He practically despised the word but all these presents and all the letters from the people expressing their gratitude made him realize that albeit the fact that he probably had suffered the worst at Grindelwald's and Draco's hands, other people had suffered as well and they were grateful that he'd murdered them.

He got up to his feet and realized that Destrian had fallen asleep. He closed the box and pressed a kiss to Destrian's head. Carefully he picked up the carry cot and headed towards the twins' office next door and asked them to arrange a meeting for him.


	70. Chapter 70

The silence that surrounded the table was only broken by the sounds that Destrian was making as he stared at the mobile that hovered over his carry cot. He crossed his arms over his chest and then spoke,

"I want you all to move back to the castle."

Sirius sighed and Bella spoke,

"Why?"

He ran his gaze around the table before speaking,

"Voldemort and you people are the only family Destrian has and I can't keep him isolated from you. He needs you all."

Sirius looked at him and spoke,

"What about you?"

He raised an eyebrow,

"What about me?"

The twins spoke,

"You were adamant on not seeing any of us yesterday."

He let out a frustrated sigh and spoke,

"Destrian is the only thing matters to me. I just don't want to cut him off from you all."

Sirius rose to his feet and came to stand in front of him,

"Harry, we'll always be there for Destrian and you."

He stared up at Sirius coolly,

"I think I made it abundantly clear that I don't need anyone."

Sirius face expressed his sadness perfectly clearly,

"I'm sorry, Harry…I'm so sorry…"

He couldn't help but laugh bitterly at that,

"What am I supposed to be do with that apology, Sirius?"

There was utter silence and he spoke,

"Can that apology erase everything that happened?"

He ran his gaze around the table and then asked,

"Or can it undo what's been done to me?"

He fell back in the seat and covered his eyes with his elbow as he laughed again,

"Can your apology heal my wounds? … Can it make all my pain disappear?"

He closed his eyes and whispered,

"Can it cleanse me?"

There was no reply and he just kept laughing for the next five minutes until the sound of Destrian's wailing forced him to stop and straighten up. He pulled him out of the carry cot and cradled him to his chest,

"It's alright, baby. I'm alright…"

When Destrian had calmed down some, he spoke,

"Your apology is meaningless. You should have done something instead of abandoning me like the way you did..."

Sirius cried,

"We were trying…"

He couldn't stop himself from shouting,

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER!"

Destrian began wailing again and he realized his mistake and started rocking him to his chest. It took him a few minutes to calm him down but when he had been soothed, he spoke,

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Sirius took a step away from him and spoke,

"Harry, what do you want?"

He ran his fingers through Destrian's hair,

"I already told you what I want. Move back into the castle."

It was Bella that asked,

"What happens after that?"

He turned to her and spoke,

"We'll have to pretend to be a normal family for Destrian's sake."

Sirius spoke,

"Why do we have to pretend? Why can't we be a normal family?"

He pressed a kiss to Destrian's head and spoke,

"That requires emotions that I no longer possess. Destrian is the only reason I'm alive…He's my life and the only reason I'm sane…"

Sirius shook his head,

"That can't be right, Harry…You…You were so…"

He laid Destrian back in the carry cot and rose to his feet,

"So what? So alive…So positive…So selfless…I was a fool…That's all I was…"

He picked up the carry cot and spoke,

"I expect to see you all at dinner. Of course, it's okay if you don't show up...I'll be able to tell Destrian that I tried my best and you were the ones who disowned him."

And with that he turned on his heels and walked back to his office.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "To Zain,
> 
> I really hope you're reading this. I read your review on fanfiction and honestly it made my day and made me smile. I've read it thrice now and I seriously can't wipe the grin from the face. I am absolutely honoured that you go to such lengths to read my works and took the time to write that comment. I am absolutely over the moon by your wonderful feedback and I would seriously appreciate it if you continue providing me with it. Honestly, you are amazing and I can't thank you enough for all the love and support. I've always said that feedback from my readers is the only thing that keeps me going. Nothing honours me more than knowing that my works inspire the readers and they can connect with it. So, thank you sooooooooooooooo much for considering my works worthy enough of your time and attention. I do read the comments on both fanfiction and AO3. Oh, and I'll definitely check out that book. It sounds interesting enough. Once again, I'm extremely grateful for all your love and support. It really means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. Love you loads. Take care of yourself."

He stared at the stack of the letters in front of him and sighed. Voldemort had been working as the DADA teacher for a month now. He knew this was going to happen sooner or later. He opened the first one and read through it before moving on to the next one. They were all the same. He tossed it back on the table and rose to his feet. He picked Destrian up from the carry cot and cradled him to his chest,

"What am I supposed to do, baby?"

Destrian nuzzled his head in his shoulder and he couldn't help but smile,

"I wish you could grow up in the blink of an eye and talk to me."

He paced around the office and Destrian aahed and oohed and he listened to him attentively and responded. He liked it when he was this conversational. It was his way of talking to him and he adored it…he adored everything about his son,

"I think we'll have to pay a visit to your father at Hogwarts."

Destrian chuckled deafeningly and his crimson eyes shone with excitement,

"You really miss him, don't you?"

Destrian laughed some more and he pressed a kiss to his forehead,

"I bet he hasn't missed you a bit in the past month."

Voldemort hadn't shown his face for the past month and he'd allowed it because he himself had needed some time to gather himself. He figured he came at night after he slept and vanished before he woke up every morning. His nightmares had subsided and he usually got a good night's rest. Destrian was one of those babies that usually slept through the night so he hadn't been having any trouble with him. Life was as normal as he'd ever wanted it to be. He checked the time and laid Destrian back in the carry cot before he started gathering his things. It seemed like they'd be having dinner at Hogwarts. He could tell that Destrian was bursting with excitement. When he was done, he picked up Destrian and apparated.

It was good to see that Hogwarts was bustling with activity again. It had been closed when Grindelwald had taken control and opening it back was the first thing he'd done. He was greeted by students as he made his way through the corridors towards Remus's office. Remus rose to his feet and greeted him curtly before looking at Destrian and smiling warmly. Destrian still had an aversion to going to other people but he enjoyed being around them. He'd grown quite accustomed to being around Luna, Sirius, Bella and the twins but he never stayed in their arms for more than a minute,

"Harry, I think I know what brought you here."

Remus signalled him to take a seat but Destrian was already mesmerized by the paintings of the previous headmasters on the walls and giggling at them so he remained standing. He had personally removed Dumbledore's and burned it,

"Where is he?"

Remus conjured a piece of parchment and spoke,

"I believe he is taking his last class for the day."

He nodded and wandered closer to the paintings so that Destrian could take a closer look. He ignored the comments the paintings passed about the colour of Destrian's eyes and his ancestry. He ignored them all the time at the ministry and the other ministries he visited. It was a good thing Destrian couldn't understand them now.

Remus briefed him on the performance of all the professors and he listened attentively as Destrian tried reaching for the artefacts puffing and whirring serenely on the table but of course, Destrian was as persistent as ever and Harry had to go close enough so Destrian could grab one. As soon as he grabbed it, he tossed it to the floor. Remus raised an eyebrow in amusement and he spoke,

"I guess Destrian didn't like it."

Remus shook his head and spoke,

"Come on, it's time for dinner. We can discuss whatever you're here to discuss after dinner."

Destrian was already in the process of grabbing another one and dropping it to the floor,

"Yeah, you're right."

Remus started walking out of the office and he followed. Soon enough they were seated in the great hall. Harry noticed several familiar faces on the tables in front of him and felt every gaze in the vicinity fixed on him. It was the first time he'd come to Hogwarts after everything that had happened to him. Voldemort stepped into the great hall and a hushed silence fell. He still had that imposing personality about him that commanded discipline and respect. Destrian squealed loudly with delight at the sight of him and Harry watched the way Voldemort's features softened when it came to rest on where he and Destrian were seated. Destrian started fidgeting in his arms and Harry could tell that he was eager to be with his father. Voldemort came to stand beside his seat and extended his arms. He handed Destrian over to him silently and watched the way Voldemort cradled him close to his chest and the way Destrian laughed and played in his arms.

He'd made the right choice when he'd incorporated him back into Destrian's life. Destrian needed Voldemort as much as he needed him. Voldemort settled down in the vacant chair beside him and continued to cuddle with Destrian even when dinner was served. He ate his fill and then took Destrian back to feed him and gave Voldemort a chance to eat as well.

When they were all done with dinner and Destrian was peacefully asleep, he addressed Voldemort and spoke,

"I think we should proceed to Remus's office. There is something I need to discuss with you."

Voldemort nodded silently and rose to his feet. He got up as well and began leading the way outside. When they were all seated around the desk in Remus's office, he spoke,

"I've received letters from several parents in which they've expressed their anger and resentment at you teaching their children."

Remus entwined his fingers and spoke,

"That was expected."

He nodded and spoke,

"Yes, it was. I've reached a decision and I came here to inform you of it."

Voldemort was trying to looked composed but he saw straight through the calm veneer and knew that he was tense. This job was everything he'd ever wanted and today he had the power to take it from him but the truth was, he didn't want to. He didn't want to take this away from him. He'd thought his heart had frozen completely but it wasn't.

"I'm appointing Voldemort as headmaster. You'll be taking over half of his classes, Remus. He'll take the other half himself."

Remus nodded silently and he watched the way Voldemort visibly relaxed. He rose to his feet and cradled a sleeping Destrian to his chest,

"I expect you to come home tonight and every night that follows. You won't gain anything by avoiding me."


	72. Chapter 72

_**5 Years Later** _

He woke up only to realize that someone was shaking him awake,

"Daddy…Daddy…wake up…waaake up!"

He bit back a smile and lay still, pretending to be asleep. Soon enough, he felt a heavy weight settle on his chest and felt a pair of small hands cup his face,

"Wake up…Daddy…You need to wake up…NOW!"

He knew exactly why Destrian was so excited. He could almost feel his energy flowing through him. He opened his eyes and met Destrian's crimson gaze. He watched the way Destrian's eyes sparkled with joy at the sight of him awake. He practically squealed with joy,

"YOU'RE AWAKE…FINALLY!"

He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer to himself,

"Good morning, baby. How is my little prince this morning?"

Destrian nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck and mumbled,

"You were supposed to wake up early today, Daddy."

He sat up straight, pulling Destrian with him and settled him in his lap,

"I'm awake now, baby."

Destrian pouted,

"And you'll rush straight to the ministry now."

He shook his head and pressed a kiss to Destrian's forehead,

"Nope…I'm not going to work today…I'm spending the entire day with you and we're going to do whatever you want."

Destrian shouted with joy,

"YESSS! You're the bestest daddy in the world."

Destrian jumped out of his lap and Harry rose to his feet,

"Why don't you make a list of everything you want us to do while I take a shower?"

Destrian nodded happily and he walked away to take his shower. He finished his shower as quickly as possible and emerged from the bathroom, drying off his hair. It reached down to his waist now and no matter how many times he thought about getting it cut, he couldn't. He settled down on the edge of the bed and was about to brush them when Destrian snatched the brush from his hand and stood behind him on the bed before getting to work on his hair. He winced everytime Destrian pulled on a slightly stubborn tangle but didn't voice it. Destrian liked playing with his hair and that was the sole reason that kept him from getting them cut,

"Did you decide on what you want to do first?"

Destrian giggled,

"You have to make me breakfast."

Destrian put the brush down and tied his hair back in a messy pony tail. He conjured up a mirror and checked it before smiling at Destrian's reflection,

"Thank you, baby. It's perfect. I don't know what I would do without you."

Destrian hopped off the bed with a satisfied hum and Harry vanished the mirror before conjuring his robes and pulling them over the shirt and pants he already had on. Destrian raised his arms over his head in a demanding gesture and he smiled and picked him up before carrying him down to the kitchens. The castle was vacant, so he figured that everyone had already left for the ministry.

He set Destrian down in one of the chairs before planting a kiss to his forehead,

"Sit here while I get breakfast ready for you, My Prince."

Destrian laughed and the sound of it echoed around the walls. Harry could practically feel the castle's joy. He gathered the ingredients from the pantry and was about to walk out when he saw the chocolates and grabbed two of the bars. He hardly ever cooked. In fact, he only did it on special occasions…like today…and he only did it for Destrian. He exited the pantry, unwrapped one of the bars and handed it to Destrian whose smile grew broader. He unwrapped the other one for himself and took a bite before starting working on the pancakes. They were Destrian's favorite breakfast and he only ever ate them when he personally made them for him.

It didn't take him long to get them ready and when he set the plate down in front of Destrian, he looked at them like they were the most precious thing in the world,

"I want syrup…loads of it and chocolate and berries."

The items appeared as Destrian named them and he watched as Destrian upended the bottle of syrup over the pancakes. He had to pull the bottle out of his hand because he was pretty sure Destrian wouldn't be content until he'd emptied it. Grabbing a knife and fork, he cut the pancakes into bite sized portions for him and Destrian gobbled them up greedily,

"Baby, you need to chew your food before you swallow it."

Destrian obeyed instantly and slowed down. When Destrian was done, he carefully wiped his mouth clean with the handkerchief and kissed his cheek,

"What do you want to do now?"

Destrian thought about that for a while he took that as his chance to eat his breakfast hurriedly. He had an inkling to what Destrian would ask for next and he was not looking forward to it at all. When he was finished with his breakfast, he noticed the frown on Destrian's face and leaned closer to him,

"I don't like it when my prince frowns."

He knew why Destrian was frowning though and he wished he could change that but it was something that wasn't under his control. Destrian was growing up and he was beginning to notice a lot of things that he hadn't when he'd been a baby. Well, Destrian was smarter than most children his age. He was sharper and far more perceptive and even though he was extremely proud of that, it put him at a slight disadvantage when he had to hide his feelings or emotions or when he had to lie to him about something. He picked Destrian from the chair and settled him down in his lap,

"What does my prince want?"

Destrian shrugged,

"Nothing, Daddy. I just don't want to make you unhappy."

He hugged Destrian to his chest as tears filled his eyes,

"You can never make me unhappy, baby. In fact, you're the only thing that makes me happy in this whole entire universe."

Destrian rested his head on his shoulder but didn't say anything,

"Well if you won't pick something for us to do then I guess I'll have to pick something."

Destrian remained silent and he spoke,

"Why don't we go to Hogwarts and see your father?"

Destrian pulled his head away from his shoulder and just looked into his eyes, searching for any hints of a joke,

"Really, Daddy?"

He nodded and pressed a kiss to Destrian's forehead,

"Yes, really."

Destrian hugged him tight and exclaimed happily,

"I love you, Daddy!"

He wrapped his arms around him and murmured,

"I love you too, baby."


	73. Chapter 73

Destrian could barely stand still as he dressed him up. The happiness on his face was so precious and Harry would give anything in the world to keep that smile on his face. When Destrian was ready, he picked him up in his arms and apparated.

Hogwarts was the same. Nothing had changed. Harry wound his way through the corridors and straight to the third floor. He uttered the password in a curt voice and the gargoyle stepped aside revealing the circular staircase that led up to the headmaster's office. He could feel the way Destrian was positively vibrating with excitement in his arms and he wished he felt that way too instead of feeling the exact opposite. He didn't want to see Voldemort and their encounters never ended pleasantly. That was one of the reasons Voldemort spent nearly all his time at Hogwarts and only visited Destrian once in about three months.

The door to his office swung open and Destrian practically leapt out of his arms and dashed towards Voldemort who was seated behind his desk and poring over some papers. Voldemort's lips parted slightly in shock before it was replaced by extreme joy and he pulled Destrian in his lap and showered him in kisses,

"My prince…"

He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, watching the way Destrian clung to his father and wishing like hell that they'd been a normal family. He'd tried everything in his power to act normal around Voldemort but it had never worked and his contempt always found a way to seep out either through his words or his actions so being apart was the only viable option for them. Voldemort stared at him for a moment and he stared back just as intently until Destrian pulled away from Voldemort's chest and spoke,

"Why didn't you come last night, Father?"

Voldemort finally pulled his gaze away from him and looked at Destrian,

"Because I was going to surprise you tonight."

Destrian's eyes lit up with intrigue,

"What kind of surprise, Father?"

Voldemort smiled softly and ran his fingers through Destrian's silky inky black curls,

"It would not be a surprise if I told you what it was, now would it?"

Destrian laughed joyfully and then hugged Voldemort again,

"I missed you so much, Father. Why don't you visit me more? Don't you miss me?"

Harry saw the tears that brimmed up in Voldemort's eyes and he struggled hard not to let them affect him but they did because this was his fault in a way. It was always his fault. Destrian's innocent question burned his insides like acid. Voldemort missed Destrian so so much and the only reason he stayed away from his son was because of him. He was keeping Destrian away from his father…doing what he'd tried to avoid so hard…When had he become the villain?

Voldemort pulled Destrian to his chest tighter,

"Of course, I miss you, Love."

Destrian whined,

"No, you don't. You don't even think of me. You probably don't even remember that it's my birthday today."

Voldemort gasped in shock dramatically,

"It's my son's birthday?"

Destrian made an irritated sound before jumping off his lap and stomping his feet on the carpet. He whined,

"Faaather! You're teasing me."

Voldemort laughed softly before pulling Destrian back to his chest and pressing a kiss to his forehead,

"Of course, I remember your birthday. How can I possibly forget the day I was blessed with you?"

He closed his eyes and gnashed his teeth as he remembered that day and the nine months that had preceded it. The agony that he'd gone through alone...All that pain and loneliness…Voldemort should have been beside him. He should have been there to support him, but the man had hidden in plain sight and watched him suffer. His contempt and resentment were not misplaced.

Voldemort settled Destrian back into his lap and Destrian began chatting animatedly about anything and everything. He was tempted to leave the office because every moment Destrian spent in Voldemort's arms made his insides burn up. He'd sacrificed everything for Destrian. His life, his dignity…everything… And what had Voldemort sacrificed? Nothing…He had sacrificed nothing. He had just turned to leave when Destrian spoke up,

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

It took him everything he had in him to turn back around and plaster a smile to his face,

"Something's come up at the ministry, Baby. I have to go for now."

Destrian's face instantly morphed into an expression of utmost sorrow and his eyes brimmed with tears,

"But you said that you would spend the entire day with me."

Destrian's tears broke his heart but he was sure he'd say something he wasn't supposed to say if he stayed here another moment,

"I'll be back before you know it."

Destrian jumped off Voldemort's lap and tottered towards him. He couldn't help but pull him up into his arms. Destrian rested his head on his shoulder and whispered,

"You're leaving because of father, aren't you?"

He shook his head and pressed a kiss to Destrian's head,

"No, baby."

Destrian snorted,

"You're lying, Daddy. You're mad at father."

He ran his hand down Destrian's back and tried to hide his surprise by speaking,

"I'm not mad at him. Who told you that?"

Destrian sniffled but didn't reply. Harry pulled Destrian away from his chest and met his gaze,

"Tell me who said that, Baby."

Destrian lowered his gaze and his ears turned red, just like the way they always did when he'd done something he wasn't supposed to,

"Grandpa Sirius was talking about that with Nonna yesterday."

He narrowed his gaze at Destrian,

"What did I tell you about eavesdropping, Baby?"

Destrian murmured softly,

"You told me not to do it."

He tipped Destrian's head back and made him face him and Destrian burst into tears,

"I didn't mean to, Daddy. They were talking and…and I was walking by and…"

He wiped away Destrian's tears and held him to his chest,

"No, Baby. Don't cry…I know my prince wouldn't do anything wrong on purpose. It's okay…It's alright…I'm not cross with you."

Destrian continued to sob inconsolably against his chest for a few minutes and he soothed him until he fell asleep.


	74. Chapter 74

Harry cradled a sleeping Destrian to his chest and Voldemort spoke,

"I believe that you are being too strict with Destrian."

Harry gnashed his teeth and gritted out,

"I can be whichever way I want with him. You don't get a say in how I choose to raise Destrian."

Voldemort was about to speak when he cut him off,

"You don't have the right to argue either. You gave up all these privileges when you abandoned me."

Voldemort sighed before signalling towards the chair,

"At least sit down."

He thought for a moment about that before taking the proffered seat as Voldemort settled down in front of him,

"It's been five years now, Harry."

He ran his fingers through Destrian's silky curls and ignored Voldemort's attempts to make conservation,

"Destrian's growing up. He's beginning to see the void that separates you and I."

He leaned back in his seat and spoke,

"So?"

Voldemort leaned back as well and spoke,

"He is not happy, Harry. Despite your best efforts, Destrian's not happy. You might have allowed to be there in his life as a father but he needs more from me…he needs more from you…Destrian expects a lot from us."

He held Voldemort's gaze stoically and internally knew that he was right. Their previous arrangement could no longer work. They would need to come up with something else. Voldemort started speaking again,

"Destrian told me how Lorcan and Lysander are loved by their parents. He told me how Luna and Rolf behave around them and when they're together and he asked me why you and I are not like that."

Voldemort bowed his head and Harry watched him rub at his eyes,

"I have managed to placate his curiosity for the moment but Destrian is not blind. You and I both know how perceptive he is."

He glared at Voldemort and inquired venomously,

"Whose fault is this? Whose is responsible for all of this."

Voldemort rose to his feet and spoke,

"I am…This is my fault…I am the only one to blame for everything."

Harry nodded silently and nodded,

"Exactly."

Voldemort stepped closer to him and collapsed on his knees in front of him,

"What will it take for me to convince you to forgive me, Harry? How can I reacquire your love?"

He stared down at him and asked incredulously,

"Are you still hoping for forgiveness?"

Voldemort rested his hands on his shoes,

"I'll do whatever it takes, Harry…I'm willing to pay any price."

He kicked his hands away,

"Don't touch me…Don't you dare touch me…I hate you and I will never forgive you."

Voldemort grasped his knees,

"Please, Harry…"

He shoved him away,

"No..."

Rising to his feet, he spoke,

"I think I ought to leave now."

Voldemort buried his face in his hands and whispered,

"Not yet, Harry…Please not yet…Let me spend some more time with Destrian. I need him…"

He closed his eyes and clutched Destrian to his chest as he fought back tears. Of course, Destrian would want to spend more time with Voldemort too. He couldn't take that away from him. Finally, he spoke,

"Have you ever wondered how different things would have been if you hadn't left that night? How happy we could have been right now?"

He watched Voldemort rise to his feet out of the corner of his eye and turned back around to face him,

"Your one decision is responsible for our ruined lives."

Voldemort had his head bowed and Harry stepped closer to him,

"Why couldn't you have stayed? I told you I loved you…I opened my heart to you that night…I imagined a life with you…a future with you that night and what did you do? You left….You ripped my heart out and walked away only to come back impersonating some stranger just to watch me suffer for you."

He didn't bother holding back the tears anymore,

I loved you…I loved you with all my heart…all my being. I loved you despite the torture you inflicted on me…despite the numerous times you raped me, ravaged me…I loved you but you never loved me back. I should have known that you weren't capable of it. I should have known that you could never tire of tormenting me and watching me suffer. I bet you still love it when I cry…I bet you would do anything for a chance to make me scream again."

Voldemort's head whipped up and he shook his head,

"No…Harry…No…"

He raised his hand,

"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything you have to say."

He walked straight past him and settled back in the chair. Destrian stirred in his arms and Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek. It always fascinated him how fast Destrian had grown. It seemed like only yesterday when Destrian had been nothing but a tiny bundle in his arms. Destrian stirred again and his eyelashes fluttered, revealing his unique crimson eyes. A look of utmost panic crossed Destrian's face and he immediately turned his head to look around. His soft features visibly relaxed when he took in his surroundings and he turned back and nuzzled his head in his chest,

"I'm sorry about eavesdropping on Grandpa Sirius and Nonna."

Harry wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head,

"It's fine, baby. It's alright. I love you more than anything in the world."

Destrian laughed at that and the sound eased the ache in his heart,

"More than anything, Daddy?"

He nodded and Destrian looked over his shoulder at where Voldemort was probably standing,

"More than you love father?"

He hesitated before nodding. Destrian was about to hop out of his lap but he restrained him with his arm,

"No, you're not going to tire yourself again, Destrian."

Destrian threw his head back and whined,

"I wanna explore the castle, Daddy…Please…"

He cupped Destrian's cheeks and kissed his forehead,

"You know perfectly well that there are classes going on around the castle. Do you remember the last time you went exploring the castle?"

Destrian lowered his gaze and nodded silently,

"I disturbed Professor Sedgewick's class."

The disturbance was just an excuse. Destrian had gone missing the last time he'd went exploring and those two hours, he'd spent searching for him had been the worst because it turned out he hadn't even been missing. The fifth grade Gryffindor girls had taken him to their tower and had been gushing over him. The ideas his mind had conjured up in those two hours still made him shudder. No, he would not allow Destrian to go anywhere alone. He nodded,

"Yes, you did. We don't want a repeat of that, do we?"

Destrian shook his head obediently and Harry kissed his forehead,

"That's like a good boy."

Voldemort finally spoke up,

"Come on, Love. It's been ages since I played a game with you."

Destrian visibly brightened up at that and nodded his head excitedly as he slipped out of his lap and hurried towards Voldemort,

"Can we play exploding snap or wizard's chess or Rune riddles…"

Voldemort picked Destrian up in his arms and kissed his nose,

"We can play all of them."


	75. Chapter 75

Voldemort was carrying Destrian as he stood in front of the huge three-tiered cake and he stood beside them, staring at the cake and remembering his sixteenth birthday. It was so difficult to breathe…so difficult to keep himself in the present. Destrian was giggling in Voldemort's arm and Harry tried to anchor himself to that sound. It didn't work though, and he slipped back into the memories.

It was like he was swimming in an ocean and no matter how hard he tried to keep his head above the water, the waves kept crashing over him and pushing him below. He fought to stay in control…fought to act normal for his son but it wasn't working…it wasn't working…

His hands were trembling uncontrollably, and he shoved them inside the pockets of his robes. He tried taking deep breaths, but it was like an iron band was fastened around his chest, making it almost impossible for his lungs to draw in any air. He needed to get away.

He staggered a bit, but he hurriedly made his way away from the hall. He heard Sirius, Remus and the twins shout after him but he ignored it. He nearly ran to the orchard and collapsed on his knees on the velvety soft grass. A loud scream escaped his lips as he buried his face in his hands. Every inch of him was trembling uncontrollably and he felt like everything inside him was breaking down.

He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to control himself…trying to steady himself…Destrian needed him…He needed him. Harry felt his head hit the soft ground and curled up tight. His brain dimly registered Sirius's hysterical shouts but he couldn't focus,

"Harry! HARRY!"

Someone was holding him tight, pulling him up but he knew he was fading fast. Another scream escaped his lips and he thrashed around in the arms that were holding him. He kicked and screamed until complete darkness veiled his vision and he passed out.

* * *

Harry was lying unconscious on the bed; his face was whiter than a ghost's…his lips colourless…the expressions on his face were of complete and utter agony. He was in so much pain and it was all his fault. Destrian's soft sob forced his attention to him and he spoke,

"Stop crying, Love. Your father will not like it when he sees that you have been crying."

Destrian rubbed his eyes and he kissed his forehead,

"What's wrong with Daddy?"

He held him to his chest and kissed his cheek,

"Your father is sleeping. He has been working too hard, he just needs rest."

Destrian nodded innocently like he understood it but the worry on his smooth features was as way too obvious,

"When will he wake up?"

He smoothed his fingers through Destrian's inky black hair and spoke,

"Soon, Love. He will wake up soon."

He took Destrian to the couch and sat down before settling him in his lap,

"You need to sleep, Love."

Destrian shook his head,

"I wanna be awake when Daddy wakes up."

He cradled him to his chest and spoke gently,

"Yes, Love. That's exactly why I want you to sleep now so you can be awake when your father wakes up."

He continued to rock Destrian gently until he fell asleep. He stared at Harry and tried to understand what could have triggered him. It must have been the cake. Today had proved that Harry was still deeply traumatized and the wounds on his soul were still fresh. This simply could not go on. Harry needed help. He needed a healer…someone who could heal his mind and soul. This was not good for Harry and it wasn't good for Destrian. It had been so difficult to calm him down earlier when Harry had stormed away from the hall. Destrian had wailed and wept with such painful abandon.

Destrian wasn't a child anymore. He understood things. He knew that something was wrong with Harry. Recently, Harry's attitude towards Destrian had been too strict and that needed to change too. Some major adjustments were needed to bring their lives back to normal…Normal…The word made him want to weep sometimes. Destrian was such a special child and he deserved the best parents in the world. Even though, Harry tried his best to be a model parent but he wasn't…he was far from it. As for himself, he had always been imperfect and he didn't deserve Destrian for a son.

Why was fate so twisted? Why was it so difficult to make everything alright? They could be normal if they wanted to be but Harry needed to forgive him for that. He sighed and leaned back against the couch.

Destrian was sleeping soundly but the tip of his nose and his cheeks were still flushed from all the crying he'd been doing. He smoothed his hair away from his forehead and conjured a blanket over the both of them. Destrian nuzzled his head into his stomach in his sleep and it became difficult to hold his tears at bay. Harry had been so right earlier when he had stated that this was all his fault. He was responsible for the unrest, Destrian was going through…all the pain and misery that Harry was suffering. If only he hadn't been so…

But he hadn't been sane then…he hadn't been able to feel what he felt now. All the love that he felt for Harry and Destrian. If only Harry could see how sorry he was…If only Harry could just forgive him. He didn't expect Harry to love him. He just didn't want his hate and indifference. If Harry forgave him then everything would be fine. He'd make it fine.


	76. Chapter 76

Harry woke up feeling extremely heavy headed. The sunlight flooding in through the French doors wasn't helping. It sent a spike of unbearable pain through his head and he buried his head under the pillow with a groan.

He wasn't worried about Destrian. He was probably happy with his father. But the pang of guilt that he felt for destroying Destrian's birthday was killing him. He had been too weak to keep it together. He'd been just too weak. It made him feel like a failure as a father.

When he just couldn't bury his shame in the pillow, he sat up straight and halted when his gaze fell upon Voldemort seated on the couch with a sleeping Destrian curled up in his arms. He buried his face in his hands and clutched his hair between his fingers. Voldemort spoke,

"The healer shall be here soon."

He looked up and scowled at Voldemort,

"What healer?"

Voldemort stared at him intently and spoke,

"You cannot deny that you need help with your issues."

He shook his head and laughed derisively,

"And who do you think is the root cause of all my issues?"

Voldemort didn't flinch at that or avert his gaze like he usually did. He just continued to stare at it him with the same intense gaze and spoke,

"I am and I shall be the one to fix them."

He leaned back against the pillow and met Voldemort's gaze head on,

"Who gave you the bloody authority to make decisions for me?"

Voldemort smoothed his fingers through Destrian's hair and spoke,

"I did."

He wanted to shout at him, but he was afraid of waking Destrian, so he ground out,

"No way…I am not seeing a healer and that's final."

Voldemort held his gaze and spoke calmly,

"Yes, you will."

He leaned back against the pillows and Voldemort spoke,

"Harry, if you refuse then I shall…"

He rose to his feet,

"You'll what?"

Voldemort laid Destrian's sleeping form on the couch and got up to his feet as well before stalking towards him. He didn't want to take a step back…He didn't want to retreat but the pure authority that Voldemort was radiating made his knees soften and he collapsed on the edge of the mattress. It almost made him remember all the times, Voldemort had hurt him in this room…on this very bed… It reminded him of everything Voldemort was capable of.

"Look at me, Harry…"

Harry closed his eyes and clutched his thighs tight as he trembled uncontrollably. Voldemort held his chin and spoke,

"Open your eyes. Look at me."

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Voldemort. It was so difficult to hold back the tears so he stopped bothering. Voldemort released his chin and wiped the tears away. Harry pushed his hand away but Voldemort gripped his wrist. Harry struggled to wrench it out of his grasp and whispered brokenly,

"What do you want from me?"

Voldemort's hold gentled on his wrist and he spoke,

"Your and Destrian's well-being."

He shook his head and spoke,

"You're tormenting me all over again… That's what you want…. You just want to hurt me again…"

Voldemort shook his head and released his wrist,

"No, that is not what I want. The only thing I require now is to see you happy…"

Harry barked out a laugh and shook his head,

"No…You're doing the exact opposite of that… I won't see a healer…I don't need one."

Voldemort held his shoulders tight and shook him gently,

"Harry, you need to understand that you have to get better for your son..."

He shrugged out of his hold and rose to his feet. He needed to get away from Voldemort. This was just too much for him. Voldemort got up as well and Harry let out a pitiful little noise that he hated himself for. Why couldn't Voldemort go back to being his subdued self again? Why was he changing again now?

"Don't bring Destrian into this…"

He didn't know when he'd started to retreat but he only realized it when his back hit the wall. Voldemort rested his hands on the wall, on either side of his head, effectively trapping him and spoke,

"I hope you realize the hell you put Destrian through last night. He is a child and your behaviour is having very adverse effects on him."

He closed his eyes as the tears started to flow again. Voldemort was right. He was so right and he hated him all the more for it. Why was he the only one that had been damaged through it all? How was Voldemort so normal?

"I'm like this only because of you…because of everything you did to me…"

Voldemort leaned forward and rested his forehead against his and for a moment he forgot to breathe. Slowly, Voldemort removed his hand from the wall and ran it through his hair,

"I know…Harry…I know… But you must forgive me…You have to forgive me. I promise I shall make everything better… I promise it shall all be fine…We can be happy…We shall be happy and Destrian will have the parents he truly deserves."

He shoved Voldemort away,

"Never…I told you I'll never forgive you…"

His feeble attempt did nothing to deter Voldemort and once again he found himself pinned to the wall,

"You will, Harry. That's my promise to you. When you're healed up and better, you will."

He turned his head away and spoke as venomously as possible,

"I won't go to a healer."

Voldemort chuckled darkly. It had been a while since he'd heard that sound and Harry realized that even after everything, it still made the hair on his arms stand on their ends and filled his heart with a strange kind of terror,

"You have no choice in that matter."

He tipped his head back and spoke,

"I won't go."

Voldemort cupped his cheek and murmured softly,

"You will. If you don't…"

Harry's guts twisted in fear as he voiced the question as bravely as possible,

"If I don't?"

Voldemort's expression grew sombre and he spoke,

"If you do not consult a healer, Destrian shall start staying with me at Hogwarts."

Harry's jaw dropped open and he stared at him in horror. Something in Voldemort's eyes told him that he had all the intentions of carrying out that threat,

"You wouldn't…"

Voldemort raised an eyebrow,

"You know me, Harry. I am not in the habit of handing out idle threats."


	77. Chapter 77

Destrian woke up at that exact moment. His bright eyes were brimming with tears but they were soon replaced by joy when he sat up on the couch and saw him,

"Daddy, you're awake."

Instantly, Destrian was wrapped around his legs and Harry couldn't do anything but pick him up and hug him to his chest. Voldemort was still looking at him and Harry buried his face in the Destrian's head and tried to hold back his tears.

He knew that Voldemort would take Destrian away from him if he deemed it fit and that would be the death of him. Destrian chattered nonstop about everything and nothing and Harry just clung on to him for dear life. He pleaded Voldemort with his eyes and Voldemort spoke,

"Destrian, your father still needs rest. Why don't you come with me and I shall get you some chocolate frogs?"

Destrian cheered loudly before jumping out of his arms and straight into Voldemort's. Harry just stared at Voldemort and spoke hoarsely,

"When is the healer getting here?"

Just then there was a knock on the door and Voldemort smiled,

"I believe he's already here…Come in."

An aged man stepped into the room and Harry noticed that he was dressed in the customary St. Mungo's uniform. Destrian was regarding him suspiciously and Voldemort spoke,

"He's here to make your father all better."

Destrian brightened up at that and Voldemort looked at the healer before speaking,

"I want a complete report on his mental and physical health. Is that understood?"

The healer nodded silently and spoke,

"You must lay down on your back and relax, Mr. Potter."

He couldn't relax…How could he when Voldemort was taking Destrian away? Voldemort must have read the despair on his face because he spoke,

"I shall bring Destrian back before lunch."

He took Destrian in his arms one more time before kissing his forehead and whispering,

"I can't live without you, Baby."

Destrian whimpered softly and clutched his robes,

"I won't go if you don't want me to, Daddy."

He shook his head. Voldemort was right. His attitude towards Destrian hadn't been healthy and he'd only been making him suffer rather than protecting him so he spoke,

"No, Baby. Just have fun with your father. I'll see you at lunch."

Destrian pressed a wet kiss to his cheek and spoke,

"You need to get better soon, Daddy."

He nodded and reluctantly passed Destrian into Voldemort's eyes,

"I will."

Voldemort walked out of the room with Destrian and Harry looked at the healer before complying. He laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The healer conjured a chair beside the bed and settled down in it,

"Close your eyes. Take a deep breath…Relax, Mr. Potter."

He did as he was asked. He closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath and tried to relax but it didn't work. It didn't work at all. Harry felt the tip of the healer's wand rest on his forehead and he immediately tensed up. The healer took his wrist and circled it soothingly,

"Relax, Mr. Potter. I shall not hurt you."

He tried…He was trying so hard for Destrian. He heard the healer utter an incantation and Harry suddenly felt like he was floating in an ocean if bliss. Everything fell away and a sigh escaped from his lips as his head lolled sideways on the pillow and his entire body relaxed,

"Very good, Mr. Potter."

The healer's voice seemed distant and insignificant. It had been a long time, since he'd felt this free. He felt the tip of the healer's wand move from his forehead to his chest but he was beyond caring now. It didn't matter anymore. He knew the healer was running a diagnostic charm on him and he was pretty sure he wouldn't find anything wrong with his body. It was his mind that was all messed up and that was all because of Voldemort. Everything that was wrong with him was because of Voldemort.

The spell was lifted a few minutes later and Harry watched as the healer observed the piece of parchment in front of him,

"You seem to be in perfect shape physically. That must mean that your mind is the root of your troubles."

He closed his eyes once again as the wand tip returned to his forehead. This time, however, there was no floating sensation. Only utterly excruciating pain. It was killing him, absolutely killing him. He writhed on the bed, trying his best to get away from the wand. Trying to open his eyes to escape the memories that the healer had awoken. It was like stirring a hornet's nest and being attacked by all of them at once. He screamed and shouted but realized that he couldn't move anymore. Why couldn't he move anymore?

Nothing made sense anymore…One moment he was being raped by Voldemort and then Voldemort's entire body would morph into Draco's. The only constant thing were his own cries and screams and pleas. They were the only thing that remained the same while the scenes shifted around him and Voldemort and Draco kept morphing into each other. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't understand it at all.

But then it was all over and he was just lying on the bed, staring blankly at the French doors with tear blurred eyes. He tried curling up but quickly realized that he was restrained to the bed by his wrists and ankles. His head was aching and for a moment he couldn't breathe at all. The healer was telling him something but he couldn't hear him over the sound of his own heartbeat thundering in his ears. He closed his eyes, buried his face in his arm and just screamed himself to oblivion.


	78. Chapter 78

When Harry woke up again, he felt a finger stroking his cheek. His heart jumped to his throat and he wanted to scream in fear but a hand was clamped over his mouth and his eyes flew open. Voldemort was sitting beside him on the bed and Harry felt his body relax…He actually relaxed…That bothered him…

"Harry, breathe…"

He drew in several deep gulps of air and Voldemort stroked his hair in a soothing manner. What surprised him was that he actually felt calmed by it. What the hell was wrong with him? he closed his eyes and Voldemort spoke,

"Destrian wanted to come see you at lunch but you were otherwise indisposed."

Harry nestled his head in the pillow and spoke,

"I don't want him to see me like this."

Voldemort continued running his fingers through his hair and said,

"He won't."

They just remained there for a while and then Voldemort spoke up,

"Your mental evaluation is alarming."

He was tempted to ask whose fault that was but refrained. Carefully, Voldemort pulled his head into his lap and pressed a kiss to his forehead. This display of affection from Voldemort was highly disconcerting but Harry found himself being lulled into a sense of calm and security that he didn't know he needed.

It almost made him think of that night…when Voldemort had kissed every inch of him, held him and soothed him. Voldemort rested his other hand on his chest and spoke softly,

"I am certain that you will be able to get over it…for Destrian."

He nodded silently and Voldemort adjusted the covers over his legs and massaged his wrists where they'd been restrained to the bed. He didn't want to focus on the gentleness or the care in that gesture. Voldemort didn't care about him. He was just manipulating him.

"Where's Destrian?"

Voldemort kept circling his wrist and spoke,

"I left him with Luna and Teddy."

Harry nodded absentmindedly because all his focus was on Voldemort's finger tracing his skin. Voldemort finally pulled away his finger and Harry blinked before speaking,

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Voldemort sat up straight and Harry scurried away to the opposite end of the bed…as far away from Voldemort as possible because he was afraid of what Voldemort was making him feel. He didn't want to feel…

Voldemort eyed him curiously for a moment before speaking,

"What am I doing?"

Harry jumped to his feet but his vision darkened instantly. Voldemort was holding him when he opened his eyes. He tried to pull away from him but Voldemort held onto him fast and forcibly sat him down on the bed,

"Harry, you need rest."

He buried his face in his hands and whispered hoarsely,

"Leave me alone."

The mattress dipped right next to him and he felt Voldemort sit down beside him. He kept his face buried in his face and Voldemort finally spoke,

"You need to eat."

He shook his head and asked in frustration,

"Why aren't you at Hogwarts? I need to be left alone."

Voldemort wrapped an arm around his waist and spoke,

"You will eat or I shall force feed it to you."

He closed his eyes and laid back on the bed before curling up,

"I'm resting. Leave me alone."

And then it happened. He felt the cords wrap around his wrists and pull them up before the same was done with his ankles. He didn't resist…It felt too familiar. Soon enough, he was sitting up with his back propped on the pillows, on the bed, completely stretched out and prone to whatever Voldemort wanted to do to him. It had been exactly like this when Voldemort had raped him all those times.

Voldemort settled down beside him and conjured a tray. He looked at him as dispassionately as he could and Voldemort only picked up the knife and fork, cut a piece of the steak and held it to his lips. He reluctantly opened his mouth before eating it.

Voldemort had just fed him half of the steak when he retched, and Voldemort vanished the plate before holding a glass of water to his lips,

"Drink."

He drank and then Voldemort fed him an array of vile tasting potions before the ropes vanished making his arms flop down at his sides. He just lay there on the bed and stared at the ceiling until he slowly felt sleep enveloping him. He fought it with everything he had in him until Voldemort spoke,

"Stop resisting it."

He gritted his teeth and continued to struggle against it until Voldemort straddled him and cupped his face,

"Stop it…Stop being so stubborn…"

He kicked his legs out and writhed under Voldemort to get away but Voldemort didn't even budge and Harry cried out in frustration, turned his head and buried it into the pillow. Voldemort began stroking his hair again and Harry had half a mind to break his hand but the other half just desperately craved what Voldemort was doing to him and he couldn't help but lay still and allow Voldemort to continue.

For a few minutes, the room was completely silent save for the sound of their breathing and then he began to slip again but this time instead of fighting it, he welcomed it. Voldemort pressed a kiss to his forehead and spoke softly,

"I shall take care of you. You shall be fine again."

Fine again. He didn't even know what being fine felt like anymore and he wondered if Voldemort knew the correct definition of being fine. If being fine meant the way he'd been when Voldemort had held him captive then he didn't want to be fine.

"Just sleep, Harry."

Sleep…Yes sleep seemed like the answer to all his problems. If only he could shut his brain off for a few minutes then he would be fine. He would be better enough to look after Destrian.


	79. Chapter 79

It was almost midnight when he woke up to an empty bed. Voldemort was no where in sight and Harry felt marginally grateful for that. He took a quick shower just to gather his senses and dressed up in a fresh pair of robes before walking out of the room. He needed to see Destrian. He had never gone this long without seeing him before.

He found Destrian in his bedroom, laying on the bed with his eyes closed. He seemed asleep but Harry didn't miss the dried tear tracks streaking his cheeks. The sight was like a physical blow to him. He was responsible for this…for all of this.

He stepped inside the room and settled down on the edge of the bed before carefully stroking Destrian's cheek. Destrian made a low sleepy sound before his eyelids flickered, revealing gorgeous crimson irises. Instantly a bright smile lit up Destrian's face and he hugged him tight,

"Daddy, you're awake!"

He held Destrian to his chest and stroked his dark messy locks that he'd definitely inherited from him,

"I missed you so much, Daddy. I wanted to visit you at lunch but father said that you were sleeping and I wasn't allowed to disturb you."

He pressed a kiss to the top of Destrian's head and spoke,

"You were crying, Baby."

Destrian stilled…they way he always did when he was scared. He smoothed his hand over his back and whispered gently,

"Baby, why were you crying?"

Destrian burst into sobs and Harry died a little at the agony concealed in them,

"What's wrong?"

Destrian continued to cry and Harry could only rock him to his chest to placate him. It took him a while but when Destrian had quieted down to some degree, he finally asked again,

"Baby, please…Tell me what happened."

Destrian finally spoke up,

"I was scared…"

Harry pulled Destrian into his lap properly and stroked his hair,

"Scared?"

Destrian nodded and sniffled but didn't say anything else. He cupped his face and spoke,

"Why were you scared, Baby?"

Destrian met his gaze and finally spoke,

"Lorcan and Lysander said that you were never going to get better."

Harry made a mental note to talk to Luna about controlling her children. Destrian had his gaze averted so he tipped his head up and made him meet his gaze,

"I'm better now, aren't I? They weren't right…"

Destrian smiled gently and spoke,

"They weren't…"

But almost instantly, Destrian's smile fell and Harry knew that that wasn't all Lorcan and Lysander had said,

"What else did they say?"

Destrian made a soft sound of despair and his lower lip quivered. Harry pulled Destrian to his chest because he just knew that he was going to cry again. Pressing him to tell him now would only make him retreat further into himself…so he waited and finally Destrian spoke,

"They said that you were sick because of father…that he'd hurt you…That's not right, is it?"

Harry closed his eyes and just held Destrian to his chest. He was angry…no angry didn't describe what he was feeling. He was absolutely furious. Lorcan and Lysander were just children, they couldn't know something like that unless they'd heard it from his parents or someone else. Having a word with Luna and Rolf was certainly unavoidable now. He smoothed his fingers through Destrian's hair and kissed his head. He tried to calm himself for Destrian's sake because he was already so disturbed and he didn't want to bother him any further. A part of him wanted to tell him that it was the truth but Destrian was too young and naïve to understand right now. He didn't want to ruin his childhood…He couldn't… Destrian loved his father and Harry couldn't bear to destroy that. Of course, he wasn't foolish enough to think that Destrian would never find out. There would come a time when he would know everything but until then, he deserved to be happy.

When he felt relatively calm, he pulled Destrian away from his chest and spoke softly,

"It's not true. You are never going to believe anything those two tell you. Is that understood?"

Destrian looked into his eyes and nodded,

"Yes, Daddy."

He smiled and tackled Destrian to the bed and tickled him until he was giggling breathlessly, and his cheeks were flushed and glowing with happiness. This was how he always wanted to see his son, happy and healthy and completely carefree. He played with Destrian for a while and then pulled him back into his lap,

"I love you, Baby."

Destrian pressed a kiss to his cheek,

"I love you too, Daddy."

He brushed his hair away from his face and then asked

"Did you have lunch?"

Destrian ducked his head and went absolutely silent,

"What about dinner?"

Destrian remained quiet. That meant no. He rose to his feet and pulled Destrian up into his arms,

"Come on. We're getting something to eat now."

He carried Destrian out of the room, towards the kitchens. Once there, he settled Destrian down into a seat before grabbing everything he would need to make dinner. Of course, Destrian wanted to join in, so he gave him a spoon and told him to toss the salad while he worked on dinner and the cake.

It took him an hour to get everything ready and then another hour to eat. But by the end of it Destrian looked completely happy and satisfied and that was all he needed. He'd been overjoyed at the sight of the cake and that in itself was a treat. The dirty dishes vanished and Harry lifted Destrian up into his arms again,

"Is my Little Prince sleepy?"

Destrian nodded sleepily and wrapped his arms around his neck,

"Can I sleep with you tonight in your room, Daddy?"

He nodded and pressed a kiss to Destrian's forehead,

"Of course, you can."

Destrian made a happy sound and Harry something inside him relaxed at that. He took Destrian to his bedroom and laid him down before getting in beside him. Destrian almost immediately clung to him and Harry smoothed his fingers through his hair until he fell asleep.


	80. Chapter 80

The next morning, Harry made sure that he got up early enough to make Destrian breakfast and feed it to him before his tutor arrived. He could tell that Destrian didn't want to let him go when he'd been leaving for the ministry. The fear had been so evident in his eyes when he'd hugged him tight and held onto him,

"Baby…I'm going to be fine…."

Destrian clung to him and inquired timidly,

"Can I visit you at lunch break?"

Harry pressed a kiss to Destrian's forehead,

"Of course, you can. I'll wait for you."

Destrian relaxed after that and Harry turned to his tutor,

"You're responsible for dropping him off at the ministry."

The tutor nodded his head and spoke,

"As you wish, Minister."

He bent down and pressed another kiss to Destrian's forehead,

"I love you, Baby. Don't worry too much. Smile for me."

Destrian did. He smiled, and Harry smiled in return,

"See you at lunch."

And then he walked away. He didn't head directly to the Ministry though. He headed for Luna and Rolf's Quarters. The door was opened on the first knock by Rolf and Harry strode in purposefully. He settled down on the couch and watched as Luna and Rolf walked into the room together. It was Luna that spoke,

"What seems to be the matter, Harry?"

Harry spied Lorcan and Lysander lurking around in the hallway and slammed the door shut with the snap of his fingers and cast a privacy charm. Luna spoke,

"You seem upset."

He laughed bitterly,

"Upset is a very small word for what I'm feeling."

He rose to his feet and began pacing the expanse of the living room,

"How well behaved are your children?"

Luna sat down in one of the armchairs and Rolf sat down in the other,

"Have they done something?"

Harry picked up a framed photograph in which Luna and Rolf stood side by side with Lorcan and Lysander standing in front of them. They were all smiling…The perfect family. Destrian spent most of his evenings here. He must have seen this picture thousands of time. It was no wonder he felt so deprived. He had failed Destrian as a parent just like he'd failed at everything else. He set the frame back down and spoke,

"How do your children know about my personal matters?"

Rolf was about to speak when Harry cut across him,

"Don't you dare defend them. They've been telling Destrian that Voldemort hurt me… How do you think they came to know about that?"

Luna was staring at him calmly,

"I'm not going to defend Lorcan and Lysander on this matter and I'll make sure that they're suitably punished for it. But you also cannot deny the fact that it's the truth. How long do you think you'll be able to shield him from it?"

He began pacing again and spoke,

"That's my problem, not yours. You should worry about your children."

It was Rolf that spoke,

"Luna is right. The truth won't remain hidden from Destrian for long. Sooner or later, he will find out everything that you've worked so hard to hide from him."

He knew that but hearing someone else say that just grated on his nerves. He was about to speak when Luna interrupted him,

"Maybe you should sit him down and tell him everything before he finds out from someone else."

He turned his back to them and spoke,

"Don't teach me how to raise my child. I just came here to tell you not to discuss my private life."

He unlocked the door and opened it and as soon as he did, Lorcan and Lysander came crashing to his feet. Luna sighed softly and then spoke,

"Come here, Lorcan…Lysander."

The boys got up awkwardly before walking towards their mother. Harry passed them a cold smile before walking out.

Ten minutes later, he was making his way through the ministry and up to his office. The agenda on his table informed him that he was going to have a very busy day. He had two days of work to catch up on, so he got to it without a second to lose.

He was chairing a meeting when the doors burst open and Destrian came running into the room. Harry wanted to bang his head on the table. How could he have forgotten? Destrian jumped straight into his lap and buried his face in his chest as he wept desolately. He wrapped his arms around him and held him tight,

"Baby, what happened?"

Destrian pulled his head away from his chest and pointed the two guards that stood at the door with their heads bowed,

"They wouldn't let me in."

Harry glared at them coldly for a moment before pulling Destrian back to his chest,

"I'm sorry, Baby… I'm so sorry…"

Destrian sniffled and Harry conjured a handkerchief. He wiped away his tears and then kissed his cheeks. The goblins were staring at him impatiently and Harry whispered in Destrian's ear,

"Will you let me finish this meeting, Baby?"

Destrian nodded and Harry kissed the top of his head,

"Good boy."

He turned his attention back to the Goblins and spoke,

"As I was saying…your terms are utterly unacceptable, but a few modifications might change that. If you're willing to compromise, then I might be tempted to show some flexibility as well."

Destrian grabbed the papers from in front of him and Harry murmured,

"Baby, please put those back."

Destrian did so reluctantly and Harry resumed the negotiations, but he could tell that Destrian was getting restless. He could never sit still or focus on one thing for long periods of time. Soon enough, Destrian slipped out from his lap and began running around the conference room before Harry could stop him. Harry had no choice but to cut the meeting short and when the goblins had left, he picked up Destrian into his arms and kissed his forehead. He couldn't be mad at him. He could never be mad at him. Destrian nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck and spoke,

"Lunch, Daddy."

He laughed softly,

"Yes, Baby. Whatever you want…"


	81. Chapter 81

Destrian was seated in Voldemort's lap as he told him every tiny detail of his day in vivid detail. Harry was trying his best to focus on his plate, but he couldn't ignore the happiness and contentment that Destrian was radiating. Voldemort caught his eye across the table and Harry averted his gaze but then Destrian giggled and Harry couldn't help but look up again.

This was hopeless. He longed to give Destrian a proper family…a family that took pictures together, that celebrated holidays together…that lived together…had meals together…A normal family that talked and laughed and everyone was happy. He'd never had that and neither had Voldemort and now it would seem that neither did Destrian. How unfair was that?

It wasn't Destrian's fault that he was born in the most disjointed and mismatched family in the whole wide world. Harry pushed back tears as he remembered the two other miscarriages he'd had. Despite not wanting to feel it, he did. He felt bitter resentment and cold hatred towards Voldemort.

Destrian laughed loudly at something and Harry spoke,

"You need to eat, Baby."

Destrian nodded distractedly but Harry knew that his entire attention was fixed on Voldemort as he continued to talk to him. Harry leaned back in his seat and looked around the table. They were seated in the dining hall of the castle. Luna was sitting with her family right next to Sirius and Remus. Bella was seated right next to Voldemort along with Rodolphus and her daughter. The twins were seated next to them with Sanguini seated between them.

Harry knew that each and every one of them loved Destrian but they all had their own families now and Harry couldn't expect them to keep Destrian happy. The truth was that Destrian saw them all day and night. He saw how happy they were with each other and then compared him and Voldemort with them.

It had been his bright idea to ask all of them to live here and now he was regretting it. Well, to be fair, at that moment, he'd been thinking about providing Destrian with a family. He hadn't taken into account the fact that they might have families of their own some day and that had killed him. He should have.

There were so many decisions he wasn't proud of. Sometimes he wondered how different things could have been if he'd just taken Destrian and walked away. Would Destrian have been happier in that scenario?

His gaze was drawn back to Destrian who was giggling and squirming in Voldemort's lap as Voldemort held him and tickled him.

The answer was no…

Destrian wouldn't have been as happy as he was now if he'd taken him away from Voldemort. He looked back down on his plate but realized that he'd lost his appetite. Despite that, he forced himself to finish his meal and then rose to his feet.

His heart ached a little when he saw the way Destrian pressed a wet kiss to Voldemort's cheek and asked him,

"Will you come visit me tomorrow?"

Harry picked Destrian up into his arms and kissed his forehead,

"He will."

He turned and looked at Voldemort,

"You will, won't you?"

Voldemort nodded and Destrian launched himself back at him and kissed his nose,

"I love you, Father."

Voldemort held Destrian to his chest and ran his hand over his back,

"I love you too, My Prince."

It took Destrian a few more minutes to relinquish his hold on Voldemort and Harry saw the sadness in his innocent crimson eyes. He was scared that Voldemort might not visit.

Voldemort seemed to have sensed it too because he inquired softly,

"Do you wish for me to put you to bed, My Prince?"

Destrian nodded happily and Voldemort picked him up. He couldn't do anything but follow them to Destrian's room and stand in the doorway as Voldemort helped Destrian change into his night clothes and tucked him in. He then proceeded to read Destrian one of his favorite stories and animated the characters with his wand.

Only when Destrian was fast asleep, did he turn his back to leave when Voldemort gripped his wrist,

"We need to talk."

Harry didn't attempt to yank his wrist out of his grip because he knew it was useless. He merely spoke,

"The bedroom."

Voldemort nodded but didn't release his hold on his wrist. He just led him to the bedroom and Harry went with him. Once they were in inside. Voldemort closed the door with his wand and locked it. Harry took advantage of Voldemort's loosened grip on his wrist and pulled away from him. He toed off his shoes and took off his robes before settling down on the bed,

"What do you want to talk about?"

Voldemort was staring at him with his lips slightly parted and Harry shook his head and pulled his hair free from the band before massaging his scalp. He hoped Voldemort said whatever he had to say and got this over with quickly because his head was exploding.

Voldemort sat down on the edge of the mattress, reached forward and grabbed a lock of his hair,

"You could get them cut."

As much as Harry wanted to pull his hair away from Voldemort's grasp, he couldn't. There was something akin to reverence in his brown eyes as he rubbed the strand between his thumb and forefinger,

"Destrian likes playing with them."

Voldemort released the lock and Harry quickly tucked it behind his ear,

"Harry…Can you really not stand the sight of me? Can you truly never forgive me?"

He closed his eyes and nodded his head silently. Voldemort took his hand in his and then spoke,

"Do you want me to set you free?"

Harry opened his eyes and met Voldemort's gaze. He couldn't understand what Voldemort meant and finally asked,

"Set me free?"

Voldemort nodded,

"Yes, Harry. Magically, you are still bound to me. You are still my spouse. If I free you from that bond then you can pursue a life with someone else…Someone who can keep you happy…Someone who can keep Destrian happy…"

Harry yanked his hand out of his hold immediately.


	82. Chapter 82

"Is this a new way to torment me?"

Voldemort grabbed his hand again,

"No, Harry. It is not."

He tried to pull away but Voldemort held on fast,

"Listen to me, Harry…"

Harry glared at him,

"No, you listen to me. Have you ever seen the way Destrian looks at you?"

Voldemort ducked his head but didn't say anything. Harry reached forward and gripped his chin before tilting his head up to meet his gaze,

"Look at me and answer me."

The brown eyes were shimmering with tears and Harry felt his own brimming up as well. Finally, when Voldemort spoke, Harry could hear the pain in his voice,

"Yes."

Harry released his chin and gripped him by the collar of his robes,

"He looks at you like you're his entire universe…And you are…You're his father…He will never look at anyone that way…He can't… Do you know how much distressed he'll be if you just leave? It'll break him…How can you even think of doing that to our baby?"

Voldemort wrapped his fingers around his wrists and spoke,

"What about you, Harry?"

Harry wanted to pull away his hands but Voldemort held on tight,

"What about me?"

Voldemort leaned closer to him and spoke,

"Will you be able to endure me?"

Harry scooted back until his back was pressed to the headboard,

"I've endured you all these years, haven't I?"

Voldemort made a sad sound,

"Yes…That is all you have been doing all these years… Enduring me and in doing that you have stopped living…"

Harry stared at him slightly puzzled and then inquired,

"Where is this coming from?"

Voldemort inched closer to him and spoke softly,

"I had a very detailed conversation with your healer today. He believes I am the sole cause of all your issues. He is of the opinion that if I break the bond between us then it might ease your mental condition to some extent."

He stared at Voldemort incredulously for a few moments before bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. It took him a few minutes for him to stop laughing. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he spoke,

"That bond is irrelevant now…Breaking it will change nothing…"

Voldemort's gaze was filled with confusion as he asked softly,

"Why not?"

Harry ran his fingers through his locks, disentangling them and spoke,

"There is something far more significant that binds you and I and that's Destrian…"

Understanding dawned in Voldemort eyes but Harry continued,

"He shares our blood… He's made up of both of us and now both of us are made up of him…If you break us then you break him…None of us will ever be able to live if Destrian isn't happy… Do you understand that?"

Voldemort nodded solemnly but there was something peculiar in his eyes,

"You're so young…You have your entire life in front of you… Don't you ever crave something more?"

Harry pulled up a pillow and propped it up behind his back,

"Crave something more?"

Voldemort nodded,

"Yes…Physical contact…Love…Care…Everything a normal person wants from life."

He laughed bitterly as he inspected his nails,

"You just answered your own question. A normal person wants all those things…I'm not normal…"

Voldemort reached forward and brushed back a stray lock,

"Can you ever love me?"

Harry closed his eyes and whispered,

"I don't know."

He felt Voldemort draw closer to him and then felt his breath on his cheek,

"Can I win your love?"

Harry kept his eyes closed and ran his fingers over the silk covers,

"No…Maybe not…"

Something brushed his cheeks and it took him a moment to realize that it was Voldemort's lips,

"Maybe is good enough for me."

Harry knew that he should open his eyes and push Voldemort away, but he couldn't… He couldn't… Voldemort's lips felt so natural on his cheek…This felt so normal. The next thing he felt was Voldemort's fingers carding through his hair while his other hand rested on his chest. The weight of it felt so right. The warmth radiating from Voldemort's palm seeped through his shirt and penetrated his heart…melting it…

No… No… No…

He was about to open his eyes when Voldemort smoothed his down his chest and rested it over his stomach. Harry couldn't stop the moan that escaped his lips as heat coiled in the pit of his stomach.

This was wrong…It was wrong… This hands had caused him pain…These lips had ravaged him…How could they still make him feel this way?

He turned his head away from Voldemort's lips and his eyes snapped open,

"Don't touch me…Please, don't touch me…"

He sounded so hoarse and his words sounded so weak. Voldemort pulled away from him and rose to his feet. His brown eyes were smothering with lust and Harry was reminded of all the times, he'd seen that look in those eyes before. It had never boded well for him. He curled up on the bed and pulled the cover himself,

"I need to sleep."

Voldemort didn't say anything for a few moments. Harry half expected him to pounce on him, but he didn't. Instead, Voldemort spoke,

"Very well. You should get your rest."

He closed his eyes and clutched the covers to himself as tears streamed down his temples. He felt like he'd betrayed himself. But there was something else…Something deep underneath his skin that had awoken when Voldemort had placed his lips on his cheek…That something wanted more….It wanted things that simply weren't possible…Things that would be the death of him…

A cry escaped his lips as he wrapped his arms around himself. He tried to control his tears but all his efforts proved useless and another choked sob managed to find its way out of his mouth.

In the next moment, he once again felt Voldemort's lips pressed to his forehead,

"Everything shall be alright, Harry."

Harry let out another cry of despair and he wasn't whether it was because Voldemort had pulled his lips away once again or because he hadn't wanted Voldemort's lips on his forehead in the first place. He heard a swish which indicated Voldemort's departure and then whispered to himself,

"Nothing will ever be alright."


	83. Chapter 83

The next few days were hell. Every time he saw Voldemort, he was forced to remember what he'd felt when Voldemort had touched him…kissed him… Every inch of his body burned with the desire for more. He needed more from Voldemort. He craved more.

Harry traced the rim of his glass and stared at the crimson red liquid in it. He'd put Destrian to bed an hour ago and was now sitting cross legged on the bed with a glass full of blood wine in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he downed it in one. The bitter, metallic taste flooded his mouth and overpowered all his senses, but he didn't care…This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to stop thinking…stop feeling… He just wanted to be… He just wanted to exist…

He grabbed the bottle from the side table and poured himself another glass before downing it in one. His grip grew impossibly tight on the glass as he remembered the time when Voldemort had forced him to drink this. He'd cried and begged him to stop but Voldemort had been relentless. How could he want that man again? How could he desire someone like him?

He was still thinking…That meant that the alcohol wasn't working. He poured himself another glass and gulped it down. His vision blurred, and he raised his hand to his eyes and realized that they were wet. He was crying…

Why was he crying? What was he crying for? He yanked off his glasses and rubbed his eyes vehemently as he tried to wipe away the tears. They were useless…unnecessary… pointless…

But they wouldn't stop flowing. He kept wiping at his eyes, but they just refused to stop. He closed his eyes and threw the glass at the opposite wall with as much force as he could where it shattered into a million tiny pieces with a loud crash.

A loud cry escaped his lips as he clutched his hair. He would surely go mind…He was definitely going to lose his mind. Closing his eyes, he collapsed back on the bed and curled up into a tight ball as his entire body trembled uncontrollably. Another cry escaped his lips…louder than the first one… escaped his lips.

He lost track of time as he continued to cry at the top of his lungs,

"Harry…"

He felt someone holding him tight and he fought against him as best as he could as he shouted,

"LET ME GO!"

His shout was muffled as whoever was holding him clutched him to his chest,

"Why, Harry? Why? Why would you drink something like blood wine?"

He was forced to breathe in Voldemort's familiar scent and he began fighting against him with renewed vigour,

"Let me go...Let me go…Stop touching me…"

His voice was slurred, and he felt highly nauseous. Voldemort laid him back on the bed and he realized that he couldn't move his arms or legs. He opened his eyes and saw Voldemort's blurred outline inches away from him,

"Let me go…"

Voldemort shook his head,

"No, not until you regain your senses."

He tried to kick his legs out and tried to free himself but soon realized how futile it was. He was restrained to the bed and he couldn't get free. All the kicking and squirming around had made him feel incredibly sick and he closed his eyes just to stop his blurry vision from spinning out of proportion.

Voldemort smoothed his fingers over his cheek and wiped away his tears,

"Why did you feel the need to drink, Harry?"

He turned his head away and swallowed before speaking,

"You…"

Voldemort pulled his fingers away but something softer replaced them…Voldemort's lips….

Harry couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lips which turned into a needy moan when Voldemort rested his hand on his stomach. He felt like he was burning up. Every inch of him was on fire. Every inch of him wanted more. He felt Voldemort's hand slip inside his shirt and moaned louder as the heat from Voldemort's palm seeped into his skin. It was too much.

He tossed his head from side to side…trying to shake off whatever madness was overwhelming. He didn't want this…didn't need it…

Voldemort's hand moved lower and Harry's back arched as soft cry manged to escape his lips,

"More…"

It felt like a stranger had taken control of his body. He could never say that…He would never say that…

Voldemort palmed his erection and Harry rocked his hips against his touch. And then the hand was gone and Voldemort spoke in a soft voice,

"I will not take advantage of you while you are clearly inebriated."

A deranged giggle escaped his lips and he was about to speak when Voldemort covered his mouth with his hand,

"You need to sleep."

That seemed so simple and he did just that.


	84. Chapter 84

He rested his forehead against the cool glass of the French doors hoping it would cool him down…cool down the yearning currently running rampant inside him and burning him from the inside out. But nothing worked for him. He closed his eyes but couldn't block out Harry's soft, husky voice that had demanded more. His body ached with the desire to provide Harry with what he needed…wanted…

But…How could he?

How could he not?

Harry had grown more irresistible over the years…His long raven black locks… Deadly emerald eyes… Severe features… Full lips… His lean frame… Every inch of him was perfection reincarnate and sometimes he thanked the stars that he was bonded to him...that Harry was his and his alone even after everything that had transpired between them…even after everything he had put him through…

He turned around and stared at Harry lying on the bed. His wrists and ankles were still restrained but even then there was nothing vulnerable about him. As he watched, Harry's eyes flew open, his gaze was slightly dazed at first and it took a few minutes for Harry to zero in on him. He watched as Harry tried to move but failed. Finally, he stepped closer to him and spoke,

"Do you still want more?"

He watched as Harry swallowed hard. The conflict was so obvious in his eyes…but the desire was just as apparent. It was like Harry was silently begging him to take matters into his own hands. He stepped closer to the bed and snapped his fingers. Harry's clothes vanished, and he was instantly gagged. He ran his gaze over Harry's lean body covered from chest down by various scars. The sight of him. Voldemort couldn't stop staring, wanting to touch. To taste. He spoke softly.

"I can see the desire in your eyes, Harry. But you will never admit it…You will never admit it…"

Harry's emerald eyes narrowed dangerously,

"But I need it just as badly as you do…I crave it just as much, Harry."

He stripped slowly, holding Harry's gaze. First the robes then his shirt followed by his belt. He tossed them aside then tugged his pants and underwear down, over his erection growing harder by the second, and stepped out of them.

Harry never looked away, and though his throat worked, he didn't speak. Not that he could, what with the gag in his mouth. But his cock jerked against his belly and that was a favourable sign. Voldemort licked his lips. He got on the bed and straddled Harry, hips resting atop his belly as he stroked a hand down Harry's torso. Harry stiffened all over, but his cock jerked again, and Voldemort couldn't help but smile but he sobered quickly. He caressed his cheek softly and spoke,

"When I left you that night, I thought that it would pass…That whatever love you felt for me was simply temporary insanity…something happening because of forced circumstance. I genuinely believed that it would pass and then you would begin to hate me again…Dumbledore told me that I would never be worthy of you… It was all I could think about…"

He brushed his lips over Harry's nose. Harry's breath hitched,

"I should have known…I should have known that the old man was continuing to manipulate me from his grave…"

He leaned backward, sitting upright as he touched himself, a hand down his chest,

"I should have returned to you, Harry. I should have made my presence known. I should have taken care of you properly. I should have protected you."

Voldemort kissed him, an open-mouthed caress in the hollow of his throat. Harry's scent surrounded him, warm skin and deep, drugging lust. He wanted to release him, take away the restraints so those hands could touch him too, but he knew that wouldn't happen. Harry would get up and walk away from him.

So, instead he kept on kissing Harry, licking his skin, tongue dragging over his torso. Harry tasted like that familiar guilt, bitter-sweet.

But he didn't stop, even when Harry arched under his tongue, sound rumbling in his chest under Voldemort's touch. He didn't stop.

He went lower… lower….

Breathing on that erection, jerking against Harry's lower belly. Voldemort licked his lips and took a deep breath, bringing Harry's scent into his lungs. The scent of his Harry. He ached from head to toe. He ached. He craved.

So, he parted his lips and took Harry into his mouth.

"Nngh!"

Harry's hips jerked off the bed, forcing him deeper into Voldemort's mouth.

Eyes closed, Voldemort clung to the sheets, fisting them as he sank deeper. Harry throbbed for him, spilling liquid secrets that burst across his taste buds and sent him groaning.

Shuddering.

He shoved a hand down between his own legs, fisting his cock, stroking, hips rolling, slamming into his grasp as he drank Harry down. Already he wanted more. He wasn't finished and already Voldemort wanted to do this all over again.

For once, he tried for selfless. For once, he gave, forgetting to take. One hand gripping the base of Harry's cock, Voldemort sucked him down. And Harry claimed his face, hips slamming forward, forcing his length all the way in, choking Voldemort.

Eyes watering.

Breath stuttering.

He took all of it and rocked his head back with every thrust. Rattling his teeth. Pain and pleasure.

Punishment too.

He kept his eyes shut against the emotions that rode him. Guarding himself against that look in Harry's eyes. The one he couldn't decipher. And he blocked out all the guilt that was eating at him from the inside out. He did all that with a cock in his mouth, and his dick wrapped up in his fist. Hungry, yes. Starved, yes. Panting, jaw aching, throat burning. But he didn't stop except long enough to gulp air into his lungs before he dove in again.

Sucking the crown, tongue sliding up and down before he dipped lower, following that thick vein on the underside with the tip of his tongue. All the way to the base. Harry writhed for him, thighs vibrating. Growls and groans blocked by the gag in his mouth. He didn't shy away from Voldemort's touch, though. He parted his thighs, arching.

Offering.

Greedy bastard that he was, Voldemort took. Licking him until he was wet and soaked while Harry lurched upright then pressed tight against the mattress, trying to escape.

Nowhere to go.

Voldemort grabbed him by the hip, pushed one leg backward. He pushed a finger inside. In return Harry gave him those hoarse, shredded sounds. Against Voldemort's palm, his thigh trembled badly. He was loving the way Harry's body clenched around him.

He wasn't sure if he was trying to make it good for Harry or not. He just wanted to make him feel again. So he got Harry's entrance nice and wet, until his fingers were slipping and sliding. Until Harry was rocking back on his finger. Then Voldemort backed away and straddled him again.

He met Harry's eyes then. Wide and glassy, color high on his cheeks, he yanked violently on the restraints. Voldemort closed his fist around his cock and stroked, hard and fast. Harry watched, nostrils flared wide, whatever he was trying to say muffled by the gag. Harry's body jerked, hips lifting off the bed.


	85. Chapter 85

He met Harry's eyes then. Wide and glassy, colour high on his cheeks, he yanked violently on the restraints. Voldemort closed his fist around his cock and stroked, hard and fast. Harry watched, nostrils flared wide, whatever he was trying to say muffled by the gag. His body jerked, hips lifting off the bed. Voldemort whispered.

"I'm looking at you, and I can barely breathe."

He tightened his grip on himself, guilt rising, getting all twisted up in the lust and the arousal,

"Tell me you're not feeling the same."

He gripped Harry's face, nails digging into his skin,

"I want the truth you speak only to yourself when you're alone in the dark. Tell me what your heart wants."

He cupped his balls, tugging, rolling his hips, shuddering, lashes threatening to fall closed.

"I want the truth. The one that says you want this."

He stopped stroking his cock, and stared at Harry, his eyes pleading.

"Give me the truth that says you need this, you crave it like I do."

Harry groaned, yanking harder on the restraints. But the desire was so evident in his eyes and his face that Voldemort ignored his struggling, thrusting into his hand, holding Harry's gaze, pinching his own nipples. Tugging. Moaning.

Harry's eyes flashed. So hot, Voldemort was immediately sweating. The tiny droplets slid down the length of his spine.

"Tell me you do not want me."

His thighs burned and vibrated and under him, Harry trembled, hips once again lifting off the bed. Voldemort reached behind and grasped Harry's shaft,

"Say that you do not need me."

Harry turned his head to the side and he could see that he was fighting it with everything he had. As much as Voldemort wanted his words, he found he was too afraid of hearing them, so he made no move to remove the gag. Instead, he brought Harry's cock to his hole, rubbing against it, breath hitching, stomach contracting.

He was hot everywhere.

Movements faltering.

Shaking.

He wanted to punish himself and this was the perfect way. He felt as if he was losing his mind. Losing himself.

"I want you to claim me,"

He begged Harry, pushing back until the head of his shaft was firmly against his hole,

"Take me…Please…"

He raked his fingers over Harry's belly, and sounds gurgled in the Harry's throat as his belly contracted,

"Please… Take me…Accept me…"

He didn't know who he was anymore. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, who he was supposed to be. How did he get the guilt to go away? How did he escape this burden that was on his chest twenty four seven?

He snapped his fingers and conjured the lube. He lubed himself, fingers pushing into his hole, twisting, stretching himself. He had never done this with anyone…Never allowed anyone to claim him…No had ever dared…But Harry…Harry could…

He'd been waiting for this for so long.

Still, Harry simply regarded him with eyes gone dark with lust. His pupils were dilated, nostrils flared, even his cheeks were touched with color.

He uttered those sounds in the back of his throat, hoarse grunts that made Voldemort' blood boil. When he was all slick, he took Harry's shaft in his hand, stroking him before bringing him back to his entrance.

Voldemort lifted up.

Then he sank down.

Harry's eyes bulged wide, and he went crazy, yanking at the restraints.

He felt like he was going to be split open. The pain was unimaginable. The burn combined with that stretch made him want to pull away. Voldemort groaned, still jerking himself off. He bowed his head and stroked himself furiously as he sank all the way down.

When Harry bottomed out, they both flinched.

Voldemort lifted up again. Then he dropped down.

He couldn't breathe. Harry's hips were moving, thrusting up, circling. Hitting his spot that quick.

He had no speech then, just plaintive groans, his head falling backward as he slammed up before lifting up and doing it again.

Over and over. Harry wasn't even pretending anymore. He claimed Voldemort, pounding up into him with eyes narrowed to slits. He felt amazing. Hot. So thick, hitting Voldemort where he needed him. Until he was grunting loud and hungry, pulling on his dick, shuddering.

Coming. He spilled in his fist, ass contracting.

Warmth teased his sensitive hole, and he pitched forward, clawing at Harry's chest, fingers scratching at it as he shivered. Flashing hot.

Then cold.

Back to hot.

He reached forward and yanked the gag out of Harry's mouth. Then he smeared his cum-streaked fingers over Harry's lips and chin. For a moment, he waited for Harry to explode and shout but that didn't come. Instead Harry's lips parted and Voldemort slid his fingers into his mouth.

All the way in, hooking it at the back of his throat. So Harry could taste him.

Also, to shut him up before he even began denying everything again.

"Now you can say you didn't have a choice."

He made himself lift off Harry. That loss. He stifled a moan. He whispered,

"You can continue to hate me. You can continue to blame me for what you are wanting. What you are needing."

Forehead pressed to Harry's, Voldemort told him,

"Put it all on me…"

His voice cracked.

"I'll take the blame."

It was the least he could do. The only thing he could do. Because there was no way he could stop wanting Harry. And there was no way he could erase what he'd done. Then and now.

Harry finally spoke, his voice slid over Voldemort' newly exposed nerves and made him shudder,

"I don't hate you."

He sighed and spoke,

"But you do not love me either…I do…I love you…It took me years to realize it, but I do…"

Harry's lips parted, and his eyes widened in shock. He turned away and escaped into the shower because he couldn't bear to hear Harry's reply.


	86. Chapter 86

Harry was lying on the bed, staring blankly at the screen as he tried to catch up with everything that had just happened…with everything Voldemort had just said. His wrists were still restrained but they no longer bothered him.

He closed his eyes and drew in several deep breaths. Had it all really happened, or had it been a dream? He looked down at his stomach and chest and stared at the evidence of Voldemort's orgasm. It had really happened. It hadn't been a dream.

It all felt too surreal. Had Voldemort really said that he loved him? He replayed his words over and over again in his head. There was a time when he'd desperately yearned to hear those words but that time had passed long ago. Those words meant nothing now. They didn't touch his heart like they should have. They did nothing to soothe the constant ache in his chest. If anything it had made it worse. The fact that Voldemort had said those words when he'd had no desire to hear them just burned him down to the core.

He turned his head and buried his face in his arm as he gripped the ropes tight to anchor himself. Everything felt like it was falling apart. Every moment he'd spent with Voldemort swam in front of his eyes and he cried out in agony. Every moment he'd spent together was a painful memory. They were sharp and cut right through him. He thought about that time…even the sweet good moments of that last night they'd spent together had turned into a knife that killed his already broken heart. Voldemort had pierced his soul. He and Draco together had made him sceptical about people and love. And he hated them. He bloody hated them for that. They'd turned him into this broken mess. He'd killed Draco but Voldemort…He couldn't kill Voldemort…Just the thought of hurting him knotted his insides and that was wrong…so wrong…

Voldemort had hurt him, he had every right to hurt him back, but he couldn't…for the life of him he couldn't…

Could he perhaps forget everything and move on? No…That wasn't an option either. It was all part of him, he couldn't let go of the pain without losing something sacred. The good memories of Destrian kept him going and the bad ones made him want to curl under the duvet and never come out again, but they were locked tight together like two sides of the same coin.

He thought back to the time, when he'd decided to give Voldemort a second chance…When he'd no naively believed that Voldemort was capable of love. He'd been prepared for heartache then. He had known that loving Voldemort meant risking great pain. He'd pursued love with Voldemort despite that. And in the end, he'd lost himself rather than gaining Voldemort.

The tears were not quiet and controlled, they fell as fast as the fall rain and he sobbed to draw breath. His lungs heaved, and he knew there was no cure for his heart. He had never looked at another, wanted another these past five years because every bit of positivity…every bit of light and hope had left him.

But if everything had left him, then why was everything inside him aching. He knew…He just knew that deep inside the intensity of this heartache just proved the strength of their bond. Despite everything, he still felt something for Voldemort. He'd connected to a part of Voldemort others had never felt. He'd seen a part of Voldemort's soul he'd never wanted to let out of the bag. He'd touched him and seen his reaction, beautiful and raw. For those moments, Voldemort had been more real than the blood in his own veins, and he'd felt him like the beating of his own heart. The bond they'd forged was still molten when Voldemort had pulled away, too nascent to resist the urge to hide once more. He'd called for him, held out his hands and let his face become wet with untold tears; but Voldemort hadn't returned…he hadn't come back…he'd been here but allowed him to wallow in his loneliness.

The bathroom door opened, and Voldemort stepped out again. Harry opened his eyes and stared at him with tear filled eyes. He could see that Voldemort's own were brimming with them too. He now donned a silk night robe and reluctantly approached the bed. He snapped his fingers and the restraints vanished. Harry sat up straight almost immediately and Voldemort sat down beside him on the bed before conjuring a moist wash cloth and handing it to him.

Harry took it wordlessly and cleaned himself in silence that felt like it weighed a ton. When he was clean enough, he asked in a low hoarse voice,

"What do you want me to say?"

Voldemort took the cloth from his hand and vanished it,

"You can say whatever is on your mind…in your heart…"

Harry entwined his fingers and stared down at his hands like they held all the answers,

"I don't hate you…"

Voldemort took his hands in his and spoke,

"I understand that you need time, Harry. You can have all the time you want…I am right here…I will never leave so when ever you feel ready enough…"

Voldemort broke off in midsentence and Harry stared at their conjoined hands now,

"I don't think I can ever love you…"

Voldemort's hold tightened on his and he spoke,

"You can, Harry…I know you can…You just need to try…I shall do everything to earn it…I will do everything in my power to win it…"

Harry's lower lip trembled as he stared into Voldemort's eyes and saw the bare honesty in them. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe him so badly but he couldn't… Voldemort couldn't be trusted. This time if he broke, he would break permanently. He would die and not even Destrian would be enough reason for him to live.


	87. Chapter 87

Someone was shaking him. He opened his eyes and blinked the sleep out of his eyes until Destrian's smiling face came into focus,

"Daddy…Daddy, wake up…"

Harry couldn't help but smile as he sat up straight. He realized that he was dressed up in a pair of black silk pyjamas that he couldn't recall wearing. Voldemort must have dressed him up. Once again, the images from last night clouded his vision and he closed his eyes to banish them. Destrian dropped down in his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck,

"Are you okay, Daddy?"

Harry opened his eyes and stared at Destrian's innocently concerned ones. He cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead,

"I'm fine, Baby."

Destrian relaxed against him but the growling of his stomach gave him away and Harry spoke,

"Let me take a shower and I'll make you something."

Destrian nodded silently before slipping out of his lap and Harry made his way to the bathroom. It took him ten minutes to take a shower and get ready and then he was carrying Destrian down to the kitchens. There was something peculiar about him this morning. He wasn't as chatty as he normally was and he was positively trembling which just worried Harry to no ends. Was he coming down with something? Destrian usually never got sick? The slytherin blood running through his veins gave him an extraordinary amount of immunity to most diseases and Destrian rarely ever got sick…in fact, he never got sick. Maybe, he was just hungry.

The smell of something burning caught his attention the more he neared the kitchens but before he could wonder what was going on or why, he came face to face with the source of it and his jaw dropped. Destrian started giggling joyously and Harry finally realized that he hadn't been trembling due to some ailment. He'd been trembling because of excitement and the only reason he'd been quiet was because he'd been hiding this.

Voldemort looked positively distressed though and Harry was forced to wonder why he'd gotten this awful idea to attempt cooking. He snapped his fingers and the stoves turned off by themselves,

"Why are you doing this?"

He knew the answer. Voldemort had told him that he was going to win back his love. This wasn't the way though. He'd have to do better than cooking. Still…It was a bit satisfying to see him trying so hard. He lowered Destrian into a chair gently and looked at Voldemort before speaking,

"Sit down."

Destrian was smiling from ear to ear as Voldemort sat down beside him and Harry took charge of the kitchen,

"What were you trying to make?"

Harry snapped his fingers and vanished the soiled pots and pans, replacing them with clean ones. Voldemort smiled sheepishly but didn't say anything. It was Destrian that piped up happily,

"Pancakes….I asked Father to make pancakes for you without magic just like you do."

Harry smiled at Destrian and spoke,

"You should know that your Father is a terrible cook."

Destrian beamed,

"I know that now, Daddy."

Harry patted him on the cheek as he disappeared into the inventory and gathered everything he would need for the pancakes. He was placing the ingredients on the counter when Destrian spoke up,

"Maybe you should teach Father to cook."

Harry laughed softly as he conjured a bowl and started adding the flour to it,

"Your Father is a little too old to learn now, Baby…Besides, he has a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders as the headmaster of Hogwarts."

He could almost hear Destrian pout as he spoke up,

"But you have a lot of responsi…responsi…"

It was just too endearing to see Destrian trying to pronounce difficult words. He heard Voldemort break the word down into syllables for Destrian,

"Re-spon-si-bil-i-ties."

Destrian repeated the word thrice before he got it right and then continued like the interruption hadn't occurred,

"You have responsibilities too, Daddy. You're the minister."

Harry put the bowl down before making his way to Destrian and kissing his cheek,

"I am so proud of you, Baby."

Destrian flushed with the praise and Harry kissed him again. Sometimes, he wondered which one of his good deeds had resulted in him being blessed with Destrian.

He turned back to mixing the batter while Voldemort taught Destrian a few more difficult words and by the time they were done, he had the pancakes ready. He put a plate down infront of Destrian and another in front of Voldemort before settling down beside them and conjuring a plate for himself. This was the first meal they were having together as a family and Destrian was beside himself with joy as he talked and talked until he was breathless and then he topped his pancakes with all his favorite toppings and dug right in.

All through breakfast, he and Voldemort exchanged glances…traded unspoken words…This was only the first step but Harry still felt wary of lulling himself into that false sense of security that everything was fine. He knew that at some point, he would have to start trusting Voldemort but not now…not yet…not so fast.

He was afraid that as soon as he would let his walls down again, Voldemort would break him. He would walk away and leave Harry alone again with nothing but memories that acted worse than the sharpest daggers and cut him up from the inside.

But for now, he allowed himself to enjoy this little segment of domestic bliss because he'd never seen Destrian as happy as he was now. It was almost like his dearest dream had come true. It was a bit after nine that a death eater informed them that Destrian's tutor had arrived. Destrian pouted and shook his head,

"Can't I spend the day with you both?"

Harry shook his head and pulled him up into his arms,

"Your father has to return to Hogwarts and I need to go to the ministry."

Destrian looked close enough to tears so Voldemort rose and took him into his arms,

"Come on, My Prince. Smile for us."

Destrian shook his head again and started rubbing his eyes with his tiny fists just like he always did when he was upset. He stepped closer to Voldemort and took Destrian's hand into his, effectively stopping him from ruining his gorgeous eyes. It was Voldemort that spoke up,

"I believe it is the weekend tomorrow. I promise, you, your Daddy and I will spend the entirety of it together. We will do whatever you desire and go wherever you wish. But, there is a condition…"

Destrian took his time staring between them before asking,

"What is that, Father?"

Voldemort poked Destrian's cheek with his finger softly,

"Your Daddy and I need to see our little Prince before we can finalize that plan."

Harry nodded silently and brought Destrian's hands to his lips before kissing them gently,

"Exactly."

Destrian smiled then and Voldemort laughed softly before showering him in kisses,

"That is my Prince."

Harry took Destrian back into his arms and pressed a kiss to his head as he prayed for the patience to get through the weekend without a hitch.


	88. Chapter 88

Destrian didn't sleep a wink on Friday night. His excitement was at its peak when Voldemort showed up the next morning and they had breakfast together again. Destrian presented the list of things he wanted to do, and Harry knew for certain that it was going to be a very long weekend.

The first thing Destrian wanted to do was to visit the zoo… the muggle one… So, Harry reluctantly had to change out of his robes and dress up in a casual black button up and faded jeans. He hadn't dressed like this in years but oddly enough he felt highly comfortable in them. After dressing Destrian up in one of his favorite T-shirts and jeans, he walked out of the room and his jaw dropped when he saw the way Voldemort was dressed. He was wearing a blue oxfords shirt and a pair of khakis and looked the epitome of normal. Harry had never expected to see him dressed so casually. He looked…handsome…

Harry couldn't believe he'd just thought that but he had and it was the truth. Destrian immediately wrapped himself around Voldemort's legs and Voldemort laughed before picking him up into his arms,

"Ready to go then."

Destrian nodded excitedly and Voldemort's gaze turned to him,

"You look good, Harry."

Harry fought the urge to return the compliment and spoke,

"We should get going."

Voldemort must have read what he'd wanted to say because the corner of his lips lifted up into a smile right before he apparated with Destrian and Harry followed.

Destrian was absolutely fascinated as soon as they purchased the tickets and walked through the gates. The zoo was crowded so Voldemort pulled Destrian up and settled him over his shoulders so that he could have an unimpeded view of the enclosures. They went to look at the giraffes first and when Destrian got tired of them, he tugged at Voldemort's hair to steer him towards the direction in which the lions were situated. They spent half an hour looking at all the kinds of lions and tigers that the zoo housed.

Harry got Destrian some popcorn, all of which he fed to the birds and the monkeys. It warmed his heart seeing him so happy. The way Destrian was perched atop Voldemort's shoulders was the perfect picture of father and son. They explored the Gorilla Kingdom next, after which Destrian demanded that he be fed ice cream. Harry was reminded of the time, he'd visited the zoo with the Dursleys. He'd yearned for every little thing. He would be damned if he ever allowed Destrian to yearn for anything. His son would have everything he could ever dream of. Harry bought him a large chocolate ice cream and then decided that he and Voldemort deserved one too. They enjoyed their ice cream as the wandered through the Madagascan shrub forest and competed on who spotted the most lemurs. Destrian won of course and he was absolutely jubilant about his victory.

They had lunch at the terrace restaurant. They ordered Mac and Cheese for Destrian and Fish and Chips for themselves. Destrian had just finished his lunch and was staring at the chips on his plate when he asked,

"People have been staring at us ever since we got here, Daddy."

Harry pushed his plate towards Destrian and Destrian began munching on the chips happily… The topic obviously forgotten. Harry hadn't missed the stares they'd been receiving. They were a gay couple with a child. He'd expected that. He'd cast a glamour to change the colour of Destrian's eyes otherwise they would have been receiving double or probably triple the stares. Harry hoped that it didn't have an adverse effect on Destrian. Voldemort took his hand in his, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts and spoke,

"Relax, Harry. You need to eat."

By the look in Voldemort's eyes, he knew that he'd been thinking the same things. They finished their lunch and Harry ordered a knickerbocker glory for Destrian who dug into it overzealously and finished it in record time. So, Harry ordered another for him, which vanished just as quickly as the first one.

After lunch, they took Destrian to see the Butterfly paradise. Destrian was absolutely enamoured by all the species of butterflies on display and was absolutely delighted when they flocked around him. Harry inferred that it was Destrian's magic that was attracting them.

They took him down to thee insects section next where Destrian insisted that he wanted to hold the spiders and Harry was adamant that he wouldn't allow it. Of course, Destrian stopped insisting when he forbade him but the frown on his face made him feel all sorts of guilty so Voldemort came to his rescue and explained to Destrian how spiders were unpredictable creatures and even though he shouldn't be scared of them, there was no reason to take unnecessary risks. Destrian visibly brightened up after that and Harry felt the burden on his chest ease.

The last stop on their tour was the reptile house and Destrian had been looking forward to it all day. The reptile house was cool and dark and Destrian instantly ran off to check out all the exhibits. Harry wasn't surprised to see how easily, he slipped into parseltongue and conversed with all the snakes. Destrian's first words had been in parseltongue and Harry felt a bit deprived when he remembered that moment. He hadn't been able to understand what his son had said but he knew that he'd called him Daddy. Even now whenever Destrian was talking to Voldemort, he occasionally slipped into Parseltongue. Harry never discouraged it because it was a gift and Destrian had every right to use it whenever he could.

Voldemort stepped closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist while he translated the entire conversation to him. His brain kept telling him that he should move away from his touch, but his heart didn't want to. He liked the way Voldemort was holding him and speaking to him. He and Voldemort almost felt like a normal couple as they watched Destrian together. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the enclosure of the Zoo's biggest snake and deeply engrossed in a conversation with it.

Harry couldn't help but laugh softly when Voldemort told him that Destrian was telling the snake all about his day,

"You laughed… Have I ever told you how gorgeous you look and sound when you laugh? Please do it more often."

Just at that moment, Destrian came running back to them and wrapped his arms around both their legs,

"I love you both."

He was happy that Destrian had enjoyed himself. He'd enjoyed himself too after what felt like ages. Voldemort pulled Destrian into his arms and inquired softly,

"Is our little prince ready to go home?"

Destrian yawned softly and nodded his head tiredly. Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Destrian sighed happily but then frowned,

"We didn't take a picture together."

So, they proceeded to the photo booth and took a ton of pictures until Destrian was finally satisfied and fell asleep in Voldemort's arms.


	89. Chapter 89

After putting Destrian to bed, Harry stepped into his bedroom and collapsed on the bed. He heard the door close and cracked open an eyelid to realize that Voldemort had followed him. He hadn't expected him to stay. He turned his head and Voldemort spoke,

"Tired?"

Harry nodded silently and then spoke,

"I've never seen Destrian as happy as he was today."

For a moment there was silence and then he felt Voldemort unlacing his shoes. He wanted to jerk his feet away but Voldemort must have predicted his move because he held on tight to his ankles to hold his feet in place. Once the shoes and socks were off, he felt the mattress shift and then Voldemort's warm breath on his lips,

"You laughed today. It was so surreal and so beautiful…"

Voldemort paused and when he spoke again, he sounded so broken,

"I took that away from you…I stole that away from you…"

He felt something warm land on his cheek. One drop…two…three…He opened his eyes and Voldemort was crying. As much as he wanted to comfort him, he didn't. He just lay still and watched. Voldemort raised his hand and touched his hair gently,

"I know you will never forgive me, and you have every right not to."

There was a time when he wouldn't have forgiven Voldemort but now…now…After seeing how happy Destrian was to see them together. They had the potential to be perfectly happy family and Harry felt that the only hurdle in that was himself. He needed to overcome everything…all the bad memories…all the terrible thoughts…He needed to banish them and start anew. Finally, he spoke,

"You broke me…You have to fix me…"

Voldemort looked absolutely baffled for a moment, so Harry spoke,

"Fix me… You have to fix me before I can forgive you."

He raised a hand and tapped his forehead,

"The bad memories won't go away. They won't leave me alone."

He swallowed,

"I'm afraid."

Those two words broke under the weight of his emotions and he squeezed his eyes shut,

"I'm afraid you'll hurt me again…I'm afraid of everything that you make me feel…I'm afraid of you…I'm so afraid of you…"

He heard Voldemort's muffled sob and opened his eyes,

"You have to prove that I don't need to be afraid of you… I know I can't ever escape these memories, so you'll have to build on them…You'll have to build good ones and maybe in time…They'll cancel out the bad…I hope they will…"

Voldemort kissed him then, swallowing the rest of his sentence. Harry couldn't help but moan and parted his lips, reaching up to sink his nails into Voldemort's forearms as he pushed his way inside, tongue thrusting deep.

It was so all-consuming… all-encompassing. Voldemort kissed with his entire body, a weapon to strip Harry of any shields he'd erected, to tear down any walls he'd built.

Voldemort rocked into him, the rough material of his pants scraping Harry's middle and leaving goose bumps. His arousal pressed into him, heavy, its heat burning through his jeans and singing him. The blood in his veins turned to liquid fire, burning him up from the inside out. Only Voldemort had the ability to douse it. Voldemort's hand slid from his hair down Harry's left side and came to rest on his waist.

Voldemort broke the kiss and nipped at his jaw gently,

"I will do whatever I can, Harry…I swear I will never hurt you again."

Harry closed his eyes. He felt like he was on the verge of combustion,

"Open your eyes, Harry…Please."

He opened his eyes, lifted his hand and traced a finger over Voldemort's bottom lip. Tears were streaming down his cheeks nonstop and he spoke,

"Thank you."

His own lip trembled so he caught it between his teeth,

"For what?"

Voldemort nodded between them,

"For this…For giving me a chance. For trusting me…even though I don't deserve it…"

Harry shook his head,

"I don't trust you yet. You have to earn it."

Voldemort nodded quickly,

"I will…I will do anything to earn your trust, Harry."

Harry smiled,

"You'll have to start by building new memories."

A wide grin split Voldemort's face,

"Yes."

Harry's stomach grumbled and Voldemort leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead,

"You didn't eat anything except for that ice cream today."

Harry nodded silently. All during lunch, he'd been worried sick about the stares they'd been receiving so eating had been out of the question. Voldemort was about to conjure something to eat when Harry said,

"I need some air."

Voldemort frowned for a moment before he pulled him up and despite his half hearted protests carried him down to the lawns where they had dinner togather.


	90. Chapter 90

After their moonlight dinner, Voldemort extended his hand and spoke softly,

"Come."

Harry stared at the outstretched hand Voldemort offered. The significance of taking his hand, of following where Voldemort led, weighed heavily on his chest, on his heart. Images flashed in his mind…of Voldemort…of Voldemort hurting him, torturing him, raping him…

Life was funny that way. Laughably funny and strange that the darkness he'd been gifted with by the same man had brought him here to seek happiness, back to him.

He slid his hand in Voldemort's and straightened. The fires in Voldemort's gaze burned brighter, hotter. He circled Harry's wrist, enough pressure to tug him along as he walked through the corridors, but not too much to keep him from breaking away if he wanted. Harry walked with him through the castle, back to their bedroom.

Sweat trickled down Harry's back. Anticipation and fear, all twisted up in each other, tingled his skin and hollowed his stomach. He climbed the stairs behind Voldemort, barely noticing his surroundings as he went. Finally, Voldemort entered a room with its doors flung open. A bedroom styled simply; white walls, blue-and-white drapes, bedding on the king-sized bed, and shiny wood floors. Harry stared at the bed then pivoted to face Voldemort who'd shut the door and now leaned against it. This wasn't his bedroom…This wasn't their bedroom,

"Um."

Harry rubbed his upper arms to ward off the sudden chill,

"I don't understand."

Voldemort smiled and pushed away from the door and spoke softly,

"That's the beauty of this. Both of us are in uncharted waters. This is a fresh start for both of us. That room is alive with the ghost of the past… our past… I want to erase that from your mind."

He cupped Harry's cheek and spoke softly,

"I won't hurt you."

Harry released the breath he held. Words burned the tip of his tongue, words that he'd spoken that night. Words he should have never spoken. He circled Voldemort's waist and buried his face in the other man's chest, inhaling the fragrance of his cologne and Voldemort's heated skin. Voldemort carefully undressed him before pulling him back towards himself and holding him close. Voldemort's hand slid up and down his back, carefully, reverently over the scars and they stood like that until Voldemort's erection poked Harry's middle.

Harry backed up and sat on the edge of the bed,

"You're still fully dressed."

The right side of Voldemort's mouth curved, and he stared Harry down as he walked over and stood between his parted knees,

"Undress me, Harry."

Harry did as ordered, albeit with shaky fingers. He undid the button and zipper then tugged the jeans down. Voldemort kicked his pants away, but the act barely registered. Harry's entire body froze as he eyed Voldemort's cock. His own cock pulsed, his balls heavy and achy.

"We are going to take this slow."

Voldemort unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged out of it. Despite the urge to smooth his palms over Voldemort's chest, Harry spoke,

"I don't need slow."

He didn't want to think. Slow would give him time to think, time for the memories to intrude. He placed both hands on Voldemort's hips and dragged his tongue over a hipbone. Voldemort shuddered. His fingers in Harry's hair tightened,

"You need this."

Voldemort pulled him away and stood back. His eyes were serious,

"It has been years for you."

Harry nodded and Voldemort continued,

"I have to make sure you're adequately prepared."

It was a big deal for Harry, but it was also big for Voldemort. Maybe they both needed this, slow and steady,

"Okay,"

Voldemort motioned with his hand,

"Lie back."

Harry did, gaze straying and staying on the ceiling as Voldemort walked over to one of the night tables. The butterflies remained in his stomach, but the uneasiness had eased up some. Nerves still gave him goose bumps, but they were the good kind. Anticipation, waiting for Voldemort to make his move.

A finger dipped into the hollow at his throat then slid down, tracing a straight line to his bellybutton. Harry squirmed. Voldemort leaned over him, lips pulled back in a smile,

"You are absolutely gorgeous."

He dipped his head, slick tongue retracing the steps of his finger. Harry inhaled and gripped Voldemort's upper arms. Muscles flexed under his fingertips. Voldemort shifted away from his hold, kissing his way down Harry's body while his fingers skirted over his sides. Harry lifted his hips off the bed, moving into Voldemort's touch when he dipped his tongue into his navel. Voldemort sucked on him there, a hint of teeth coming through to tease Harry,

"You taste so good…so sweet"

He moved lower, nuzzling Harry through his briefs. Harry whimpered. He squeezed his eyes shut and twisted his fingers around the sheets. The ache was like nothing he'd ever experienced, nothing he'd ever imagined. Lower half rising off the bed, he arched up, pushing himself closer. Warm breath teased at him through the material of his briefs then wet joined in. Harry bucked. Voldemort made a sound and Harry looked down. Voldemort was sucking him through the briefs, hungry moans falling from him. Harry drew his knees up and moaned softly. Sharp nails dug into his hips then quickly released as Voldemort peeled his briefs off. Harry lifted his hips off the mattress to help, eyes rolling back to the ceiling when Voldemort nuzzled his balls.

He reached down, blindly grabbing Voldemort's hair. Confident fingers circled his erection, gripped him tight. Harry groaned. Voldemort sucked one of his balls into his mouth. Harry cried out then bit his fist to mute the sounds. He couldn't make himself look down, see what Voldemort was doing to him, but he felt it, the warm, wet mouth sucking his balls deep, the tongue dipping lower to tease and retreat.

He shook on the bed, the tremors taking over, sweat beading on his forehead and trickling down to the mattress. Voldemort used his lips and his fingers, tugging on Harry's balls, a finger tracing the length of his shaft, dipping into his slit, teasing. Harry simply held on, fist stifling the cries as Voldemort worked to help him create new memories.

Hot breath cascaded over the head of his cock. Harry damn near leapt off the bed. A chuckle drifted up from the man between his legs.  
"I want…"

He swallowed then tried again to voice his wants,

"I want to touch you too."

Voldemort shook his head, the movement causing his chin to bump against Harry's sensitive cock head. Breath stuttered in Harry's lungs. Voldemort took him inside and all thought fled.

He arched, the movement sending him deeper in that wet cavern,

"Please…"

All motion from Voldemort ceased and Harry glanced down to find eyes trained on him. As he watched, Voldemort slid both of his palms over each of Harry's thighs, caressing as their gazes held. His cock slid out of Voldemort, but the other man didn't appear to notice,

"You're so smooth all over."

One of his hands left Harry's thigh to fist his cock and tug…

"So smooth."

Harry could only blush. A lazy smile curved Voldemort's swollen lips. He dipped his head and bumped his nose against Harry's crown,

"Claim my mouth."

He parted his lips and waited. Harry blinked down at him,

"I don't think…"

Voldemort said,

"Don't think… Let me help you. Sit up and use me, use my mouth. I want you to."

Harry bit his lip and hesitated, despite the ache in his groin. Could he do that? Use Voldemort for his own selfish pleasures? Voldemort used him for his own selfish pleasure so many times. He shook away that thought. That was the past. No, it wouldn't be selfish. Voldemort wanted it. They both did.  
He levered himself upright and sat. Voldemort moved back on his haunches and waited.

"T-take me in your mouth."

Voldemort did, without a hint of doubt or hesitation. His warmth closed around Harry, who couldn't help a groan as the sweetest pleasure dragged from the deepest part of him. He bucked up and cried out. He held Voldemort by the nape, a light touch, and pushed up into his mouth again and again. Voldemort moaned, the sound traveling up Harry's length, tightening his balls even more and settling in his lower belly. He watched from under his lashes as Voldemort took him deep, a sensuous advance and retreat as Harry slid in and Voldemort pulled off, the shine of Voldemort's spit on his cock a surprising turn-on.

Voldemort held his gaze through it all, cheeks hollowed, eyes promising more where the blowjob came from. Harry grabbed the hairs at the back of Voldemort's head and forced him forward when he would've retreated, jamming himself deeper down his throat until Voldemort swallowed around him.

Harry lost control of his hips then, slamming forward, burying himself deeper. Orgasm reared its sweet head, the familiar heat clawing at his spine,

"Oh…"

He pushed forward and Voldemort twisted away and off, squeezing the base of Harry's shaft with two fingers,

"Damn it!"

Laughter danced in Voldemort's eyes and he smacked his lips,

"Love the way you taste."

Harry scowled at him,

"Really? Wouldn't have guessed the way you totally just blocked me from shooting down your throat."

From shooting period. Then Harry realized what he'd said. He looked up to find Voldemort staring down at him, head cocked to the side,

"Is that what you want?"

Voldemort asked,

"To shoot down my throat?"

Harry shrugged,

"Well. I wouldn't mind it."

Using his palms flat on Harry's thighs to hold his weight, Voldemort bent and brushed his lips over Harry's,

"Later."

He kissed Harry again, thrusting inside to flick his tongue over his teeth and gums.  
Harry hung on to him, chasing the hint of himself he tasted on Voldemort, but too soon the other man broke the kiss and stepped back,

"Lie on your stomach."

Harry did what Voldemort asked, mostly because he was too far gone to turn back. The man was a bloody tease… Cock tease. Voldemort whispered at his ear.

"I am no tease."

He sucked Harry's earlobe and Harry was too busy humping the mattress to be embarrassed that he'd spoken out loud,

"Let me kiss you all over."

Voldemort kissed his ear and his neck then dropped one on his shoulder as he moved over Harry. Harry stiffened at the first drag of Voldemort's lips over his scarred back,

"No. Don't."

He lifted his head, but Voldemort held him fast with another kiss and another,

"Shh."

Voldemort's breath heated the raised flesh, some areas more sensitive than others. Harry buried his face in a pillow. Why? Why did Voldemort want to touch him there, let alone kiss him? His back was a patchwork of raised scars crisscrossing each other, branding him as the property of someone else…Branding him as Draco's,

"No."

Voldemort paid no attention to him. He continued kissing his way down Harry's back, pausing every now and then to trail a finger over a particular scar or trace it with his tongue,  
"You're beautiful."

His lips skated over Harry's lower back, over one of the deeper scars that he'd gotten when Draco had gone overboard with the bullwhip and nearly killed him. He didn't stop kissing the stupid scar and the tenderness was too much. Harry squeezed his eyes tight but hot tears escaped somehow, soaking into the pillow. Voldemort didn't notice, he finally moved from Harry's back to his ass and palmed him, kneading gently. Harry tensed,

"Relax. I've got you."

A finger traced his crack then circled his hole. Harry fisted his hands and kept his face in the pillow, his eyes firmly shut. The pressure in his chest grew and grew, drawing tighter. Cold chills broke out on his skin. Please. No,

"I won't hurt you."

He heard the words, but their meaning was drowned out by the blood rushing in his ears. Images cycled through his head, none of them pleasant, none of them kind, yet all of them carried a pain and darkness he wished he could escape. No matter where he went they found him. He shook under the force of all those memories, his teeth chattering loudly,

"Harry…Harry…"

A palm slid over the small of his back. Voldemort's voice was calm and soothing, but his finger was still inside Harry, sliding deeper,

"Stay with me. Listen to my voice. Feel me touch you."

He pushed in another oiled finger. Harry winced at the burn,

"It will be alright."

Voldemort moved the fingers back and forth,

"I know this brings bad memories, but we can create good ones."

He sank the two fingers all the way in then curved them. His knuckles pressed against the spot that had Harry gasping,

"Better ones."

He pressed against that spot again and Harry's shudder this time was one of pure pleasure,

"Yes."

Voldemort spoke to him in that low, gravelly tone,

"Stay with me here. Know who's touching you."

He paused and added another finger, stretching Harry with three thick digits,

"Say my name."

Harry breathed through the burn, eyes open and locked on the mahogany headboard,

"Say my name."

Voldemort spoke again. He scissored the fingers and nipped Harry's hips,

"Voldemort."

Harry found himself pushing back, searching for those fingers, lifting his hips to wiggle on them,

"Good. Call me Tom."

Voldemort whispered at the base of his spine,

"Call me Tom."

His tongue slid down Harry's crack and licked around the fingers he had embedded in Harry.  
"Tom…Tom…"

He was going to combust. Lifting his lower half off the bed, Harry fisted his cock, tugging on it,

"Tom…"

Voldemort's fingers slowly slid out then Harry found himself pinned to the bed, face mashed into the mattress. No. No. No. The memories came, fast and cold. Drenching him in darkness. He saw himself, captive, helpless, brutalized. Not again. He fought back, kicking, punching the air. He was stronger now. He could fight back,

"Listen to my voice."

Voldemort was at his ear, whispering to him,

"Listen to me. Stay with me."

Harry couldn't, not when those images in his head remained. Not when they prevented him from having a normal life,

"We're making new memories,"

Voldemort said patiently. He pressed his front to Harry's back and his cock nestled in the cleft of Harry's ass,

"Feel me. I'm touching you and nothing about this is wrong, nothing about it is bad."

Harry's cries dipped to whimpers. Voldemort kissed his neck,

"I want you. I want to make love to you. I will not hurt you."

He rocked into Harry, his shaft sliding up and down his cleft and Harry gave up…he surrendered completely.


End file.
